Couples Who Dated For A Few Months And Got Married Share Their Experiences
"Reddit user kiralynnkk asked: 'If you got married after less than six months of dating, what’s your story?'"
It's nerve-wracking to trust love quickly.
Some people wait years to marry and it still doesn't work out.
So who is to say what is the perfect time from "Hello" to "I Do?"
Nobody. That's who.
Maybe the heart really does know what it wants right away.
We'll never know until we try.
Courtship can be slow or rapid.
It's all a matter of the heart.
Redditor kiralynnkk wanted to hear from the couples who couldn't wait any longer to get married, so they asked:
"If you got married after less than six months of dating, what’s your story?"
I'm still single.
I waited for a while.
And I've jumped quickly.
So I'm at a loss.
You Know?
Winter Solstice Christmas GIF by Chippy the DogGiphy"My friends met on Halloween, engaged on Thanksgiving, and married on New Year’s Day. They lived 900 miles from each other. Still married 30+ years later."
"Explanation: 'When you know, you know, y’know?'"
Smokey_Katt
Couldn't Wait
"We got engaged and moved into an apartment together after about 3 1/2 months of dating, but we didn't get married for another 6 1/2 months after that because of the time it took to make the wedding arrangements. So maybe that doesn't count, but it's close."
"As to why it was so quick, I guess we just knew we wanted to be together and didn't want to wait. We've been married 33 years."
catsaway9
When in Vegas
"My wife is from Eastern EU and was on vacation visiting family in my US city. We met on Tinder and met at a restaurant for drinks. I still remember exactly what she looked like walking through the door. She was even prettier than her pictures (stunning) and I loved that she was well-traveled and super intelligent. On the first day we met, I told her that she would be telling our grandkids the story."
"We ended up engaged at 3 months and got married in Vegas at 5 months. We're now just over six years married with two kids, and we dropped our oldest off on his first day of preschool today."
RepeatUntilTheEnd
The Click
"When I met my wife, we just clicked. we met in December, flew out of the country to meet her family in February, and moved in together in March. We will be celebrating our 6th anniversary next month."
HumorTumorous
"This is kind of how it was for my husband and I. Met early summer of 2016. Engaged by the end of summer. Married Feb of 2017 (visa process kind of had us rush that marriage bit since we had to marry within 3 months of me entering the country)."
"Just kinda knew. We'll be married for 7 years this February. Hopefully, it continues... lol."
SweetContext
Confessions
Happy Birthday Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"We were roommates. She confessed we had our first date, and it was just like we were supposed to be together. I always say that our first kiss felt like Chidi seeing the time knife - kind of terrifying because it was so wow, but an ultimately life-changing truth."
goatman1062
Ah... the roommate situation.
It's a gamble, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
At least you know each other first.
Decades Later
just married love GIFGiphy"Started dating in October, found out she was pregnant in December, married in March. 37 years, two children, and two grandchildren later we're still together and happy."
RandomGrotnik
The Next Day
"Went to Ukraine to visit Chornobyl 7 years ago. The next day, sent out a bunch of messages on Tinder to everyone asking if they'd be up to give me and my mate a tour of Kyiv (which we always did, and never, ever hooked up - I'm too much of a prude for that)."
"This one lady agreed, we met in a bar for tea, hired a limo, drove around for 5 hours, and at the end of the night I told her I loved her, we met the following morning before my flight home (I ditched my mate and said I'd meet him at the airport)."
"I flew back to Kyiv 2 weeks later for the weekend, we officially became a couple. I quit my job, sold everything I owned, and emigrated 8 weeks later and we married a month after that. We've been married 7 years, have 1 child, and a second on the way."
DruzhbyNarodiv
Here We Are...
"I knew him for 10 years before we started dating and finally when we got together we said we are never breaking up no matter what. We were engaged for 6 months and got married. 16 years later here we are."
swisscoffeeknife
"I met my husband in middle school. We never dated, but were always friends. Drifted apart, he had a kid with a crazy lady, and I watched from afar. Ended a long-term relationship and a month later I ran into him at the gym. Went on a date, moved in a month later, pregnant 4 months later, and married 2 months after that. 2 kids (plus my step), and we celebrate our 10 years next Feb."
jace191
Decades Later
Happy Anniversary GIFGiphy"My parents got married on the six-month anniversary of their first date. They had their 65-year wedding anniversary in August."
SnooPickles7989
Happy Anniversary to all!!
Sounds like there are no time constraints on love.
People Share Signs To Tell Whether A Friend Has A Good Marriage
Reddit user AnitaDickenme123 asked: 'What are some signs that your married friend doesn’t have a good marriage?'
No matter how good it might be, no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time.
On the contrary, there are some relationships that seem pretty doomed to fail, and it's disheartening how many signs we can spot of the relationship coming apart, perhaps even before the couple themselves is aware of it.
But as clear as a sign of trouble might be, it can feel impossible to talk to a loved one about it when it's about their relationship.
Redditor AnitaDeckenme123 asked:
"What are some signs that your married friend doesn't have a good marriage?"
All Joking Aside
"Talking s**t about their spouse, even if it’s in a joking way, is a clear sign to me. I went to a bachelor party with a bunch of guys I didn’t know and they spent the entire time b***hing about their wives, and they all sounded miserable."
- FunctionBuilt
Desperate to Hide the Truth
"They are withdrawn or secretive. If your friend is suddenly withdrawn or secretive, it may be a sign that they are having problems in their marriage."
- LiaRipsx
Weird Gestures to "Mark Their Territory"
"His hang glider now has a full-sized graphic of his spouse holding the cat on it. And he wasn't asked beforehand."
- BarcodeNinja
Hypothetical Divorces
"They talk about divorce hypothetically."
- LaximumEffort
"Okay, but what if, say, I am watching a lot of true crime murder shows, and he tells me we can just get a divorce instead of me killing him? Does that count? Lol (laughing out loud)."
- HopefulKitty
Detached Relationship
"When they don’t care what the other person is doing or where they are. Basically, two people who live separate lives and live like roommates."
- Lucyinthesky
"My friend never says anything bad about her husband, but she also doesn't speak about him much at all. They’ve been married less than a year, but she's said things like not caring what he's up to a couple of times, and it made me wonder if that was normal in marriage. It feels wrong."
- happinessinasong88
Fighting in Public
"I’ve known two different couples that off and on fought a lot around me at certain points, which isn’t obviously a great sign."
"The fighting stopped, but what I realized after a while that may be worse is that they didn’t interact at all unless absolutely necessary."
"I’m mostly oblivious, so it took my wife pointing it out to notice that both of these couples never really talk to each other besides mandatory stuff like plans or the kids."
"No casual conversations, no eye contact, no touching each other; literally no interaction that’s not necessary for the family to function."
"I suppose it’s better than fighting in public, but it’s kind of weird once you notice it."
- non_clever_username
Social Media Cover Stories
"If they're plastering social media with how HAPPY they are, and they're SO IN LOVE, and THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER, that's a sure sign that things are in the process of going sideways."
- wilderlowerwolves
"This confuses me SO much. I have two close friends (women) who have been texting me nonstop about how s**tty their significant others are, like going OFF about them, long voice messages, etc."
"Then between messages, I will open Facebook and see they just made a post about how much they love their partner with a cute picture and tons of hearts and s**t."
"Like... WHAT. I have never called them out, but what the h**l?"
- perfectdrug659
"Gah, my BIL (Brother-in-Law) divorced after a short two-year marriage, and this was the prime indicator of knowing that they were doomed."
"They did this kissy cutesy schmoopy lovey-dovey thing in public, and the worse their relationship got, the more publicly showy they were about showing how in love they were. It was horrific to watch unfold."
- abqkat
Controlling and Jealous Behavior
"In my experience, going out with my old homie that was married, I couldn't ever post us out at the bar or anything. If his wife saw it, she’d blow her top apparently."
"We went out for my 23rd birthday a couple of years ago and merely his elbow was in the video of me sipping on whatever drink I had. In a panic, he urged that I delete it before his wife saw it for whatever reason."
"They’re divorced now."
- jailbreakthetesla_
Mean to Their Partner
"When their identity is the 'person who is mean to their spouse.'"
"I was at a party this weekend and there was a woman who just bad-mouthed her husband and talked about how nice it was to be away from him and the kids for the night. That’s like her shtick… she talks about how her kids and husband are s**tty. It’s such a gross personality, and it’s relatively common. It shouldn’t be common at all."
- SpacemanPete
Flirting Elsewhere
"They flirt a lot. A lot of unhappily married people I know are quick to flirt with anyone who seems interested because they want to feel that spark again."
- FlatulentDwarf
Constant Check-Ins
"When one of them is out and their spouse does not stop calling them."
- BansheeShriek
"I can't imagine living like that. I took a 10-day road trip to the beach alone, and all my husband asked of me was to keep my location turned on in case of an accident, and text a few times a day so he knew I was alive. That's trust."
- HopefulKitty
The Depression or Glow Up Era
"If they suddenly seem really down on themselves or stop taking care of themselves for seemingly no reason, If their outlook on relationships and/or marriage had changed since getting married, If they have nothing good to say about their partner or just don't talk about them..."
"The list goes on."
- Misspent_interlude
"Or reverse, they start glowing up. They lose weight, focus on appearance more, it means they're getting ready to split."
- Alternative-Post-937
Wishful Widows
"When my husband died, some friends admitted that they were a little jealous."
- emmymcd
"My ex-husband responded, 'One can only hope,' and looked at me when he heard someone’s wife died."
- foldinthecheese89
"I would never say this to someone, but I understand the sentiment. I absolutely wished my ex-husband dead a handful of times. It's one of those things where you can't leave because I had very little money of my own and staying meant living with abuse."
- IsThatBlueSoup
Jealous of Working Relationships
"It's bad when you avoid or feel guilty talking about how happy you are or about the nice and thoughtful things that your partner does because you know your friend can't relate."
- anemic_girlfriend
"Yikes. This is how I am with a friend group of mine. They’re always complaining about their husbands, and I stay silent. I don’t want to rub it in that I love my husband and he’s mostly awesome. In the past two years, one has gotten divorced and another is on her way there."
- Nonny70
"It gets weird for me when people are like, 'Must be nice to get away from the wife' if I'm on a work trip or something."
"I don't understand. I sleep better when my wife's next to me, I feel better about the day when I get to see her and talk to her, she makes me smile all the damn time."
"Everybody on the planet is a very distant second on my list of people I want to be around, and even though we do plenty of things separately I don't see time apart as some sort of reprieve from her presence."
- HereToTheSquatch
Wishing They Were Out
"I got married young and a lot of older guys gave me s**t for it, like they resented their wives for settling down too soon. It upsets me when men talk s**t about their wives. If you hate your wife, then leave, she’s probably better off without you."
"My wife is my best friend. Seven years later, our relationship only grows stronger over time. If you love someone and they love you back, be grateful for that and show it!"
- Apprehensive-Hall254
There are many ways to tell that a relationship is in a downward spiral, especially when the relationship is not our own.
But these accounts were intense and ones that we can only hope are less common.
There are a lot of sayings about human nature that address bad behavior in a relationship.
One such idiom is "a leopard can't change its spots." Another is "once a cheater, always a cheater."
But is that really accurate?
Can a significant other cheat just once and never again? And even if they can, is the relationship ever truly healed?
Reddit user Menezeris3029 asked:
"People who have stayed in a relationship after their partner cheated. How was it like after?"
Projecting And Gaslighting
"It was super short-lived because of the hardcore projecting."
"Because she cheated, she assumed that I was going to cheat with all my women friends. She became super controlling and didn't want me to have any women friends."
"I ended up leaving because my friendships were more important than a broken relationship."
~ Ookimow
"It's in fact so common that people who baselessly accuse others of cheating are almost always cheating and projecting it on their partner."
"Every time I had been cheated on, this is the trigger that made me realize it was going on in the first place and was easily able to find proof."
"They out themselves."
~ PsionicKitten
"My ex husband tried to get me to go to therapy. And don’t get me wrong, I needed it and should have gone, to get the self-worth to leave his a**."
"But my point was, if you won’t stop cheating on me why waste money on therapy lmao‽‽ It’s like sitting in the ER while someone is stabbing you in the back."
"He swore on everything we had he wasn’t cheating on me again."
"Yeah…..he was the whole time."
~ WillBsGirl
Regrets, I Have A Few
"I really truly believed I would rise from it and forgive him, get over it, and come out of it stronger."
"It was never the same. I lost that trust and I couldn’t get it back. And eventually, I stopped caring to want it back."
"It was a 7 year relationship & although I don’t regret it, I sometimes wish I knew to walk out sooner."
"But it made me realize what I really deserve and it led me to the forever man in my life who treats me so well and loves me and honours our commitment."
~ backandforthlosing
"This got me in my soul!"
"My soon to be ex is not violent, he's grown into a lovely man, just not the one for me after what happened."
"I've just cracked my early 30s so I'm calling this my quarter life crisis and moving on...a lot of those things you have said resonated so much!"
~ Puzzleheaded-Ad-9724
"Reasons for not leaving—Fear, isolation, guilt, not wanting to hurt the person you love most in the world, even though they hurt you. Not wanting to lose them."
"It’s hard to let them go, because you have to let go of a part of yourself too and the life you thought you were building together. It is so hard to accept that it was all just an illusion."
"After some time passes, you try to put what happened at the back of your mind as a survival mechanism, and then your partner assumes that you have forgiven them because you no longer appear to be preoccupied with it."
"Sex also complicates things because some cheaters think that resuming sex equals their partner has moved on and are not upset any longer."
"You keep quiet and bottle up emotions to keep the peace, but at a severe detriment to your mental health and well being."
"This is where I am currently with my relationship. I am just trying to get through one day at a time until I gather enough strength to move forward."
"I too hope to wake up one day and say, 'FUK THIS!' I have known about the infidelity since 2021."
~ lunarmantra
Never The Same
"Happened in 2010, part of a mental breakdown on their side. Stood by and watched my world fall apart with a young child to look after."
"I believe in the vows I took when I got married, especially in sickness & in health. 13 years later, still married, perhaps stronger than ever but it still hurts."
"The pain numbs down over time from a glowing ball the size of the sun to a little pin prick of light but it still burns."
"I’m glad we stayed together, child is now a happy and rounded young lady—enjoying the world and her life ahead of her."
"We are now 26 years together so if any of you are reading this, good can come from bad, life does go on, listen to your heart but don’t ever get mugged off."
~ oldskoolplayaR1
"Caught her in an 'emotional' affair early on in our relationship."
"Both her and him told me it was a mistake and he apologized and told me it was over."
"I believed it all."
"However I will admit that it bubbled up during arguments over other issues because of how betrayed I felt."
"It weighed on me to the point where she told me I needed to see a therapist to get over it. I went to 3 of them over a period of the next 4 years."
"We went as a couple maybe a year after that."
"Flash forward another 2 years…I found the texts and pics."
"It never ended and it only grew. The entire time she told me to get counseling. The entire time we were in counseling together."
"The entire time I worked 2 jobs and 7 days a week because she lost her job and took a year off and I picked up the slack."
"You do not recover."
~ justaguylookinghappy
Tick, Tick, Tick...
"A ticking time bomb."
~ Ratakoa
"Yep. We spent a year trying to recover, then had 2 good years..."
"Then he cheated again... I think in the back of my mind I was just waiting the whole time for it to happen again."
~ naturally_eva
"This! Every single day, this is what's in the back of my mind and yup, waiting for it to happen again and hoping, at the same time, that it won't."
~ ahuh_itzme
"Ex wife was the same. We tried again, but she just had to get back in contact with him… lasted ten months, but only eight before she’d started seeing him again."
"It was a 12 year relationship for us, with most of that married. I don’t think she actually stopped seeing him really, looking back."
"When I started seeing a new girl, my ex wife tried to seduce me! Erm, no."
~ CabinetOk4838
"Shoot, mine never even stopped seeing the other guy. She swore up and down she wanted to stay together and it was all a mistake—so I laid out some very simple rules for moving forward, starting with no more contact with the guy."
"She never stopped."
"To this day I dont know what she was thinking. She just kept on trying to see us both. This was a 10 year marriage with kids, too."
"About a year into the divorce, she straight up moved 500 miles away (by herself), became a drug addict, and her entire life fell apart. Got arrested for felony drug possession etc..."
"Most bizarre complete self destruction I've ever seen in real life."
~ alonjar
If They'll Cheat With You...
"One of my buddies dated a girl once that cheated to be with him. Then after awhile she cheated on him too."
"He was so shocked."
"But I was like, bro, she cheated on someone to get with you. Her cheating on you to get with someone else shouldn’t be a surprise."
~ travworld
The Other Side
"That's not always true. I cheated once. It destroyed the person I love, and it sent me into a 2 year spiral of depression and anxiety that I had to be hospitalized for twice."
"I'll NEVER, EVER make that mistake again. People can learn from their past mistakes."
"That being said, 'once a cheater, always a cheater' is true more often than it isn't - and that's quite sad."
"I just won't be one ever again. Absolutely not worth ANY of it."
~ reflUX_cAtalyst
The decision to stay with someone who has broken your trust is an individual one.
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there are many happy endings for couples after one partner cheats.
In 2022, a reported 2,132,853 couples in the United States vowed to remain together until death.
But as of that same year, 41% of first marriages were ending in divorce.
And if a person walked down the aisle again?
Well, 60% of second marriages ended in divorce and a whopping 73% of third marriages didn't last.
The five leading factors cited in divorces in 2022 were:
- lack of commitment - 75%
- infidelity - 59.6%
- too much conflict - 57.5%
- married too young - 45.1%
- money problems - 36.1%
So how do couples get from "happily ever after" to "get thee from my sight"? And when did they know it was time to call it quits?
Reddit user Zealousideal-Ad3609 asked:
"Divorcees of Reddit, when did you know your marriage was over?"
Like a True Crime Plot
"When I found the text messages of him telling her he loved her and joking about my life insurance money."
~ girlinthewhirled
"I've watched too many true crime shows."
"I told my husband that I'm not getting a life insurance policy on my a** for a long time cause I don't want to have to side eye him every day."
~ The_Artsy_Peach
Winners Never Cheat And...
"He told me he'd had an affair."
"Initially he begged me to stay together, to work things out, but within two weeks he had cold feet again and had even met up with his affair partner so... Yeah."
"At one point, my ex-husband had told me he wanted a divorce. I didn't see him for like 2 weeks but then met up with him to sign unrelated paperwork."
"I noticed he had a tan and asked him if he'd been having a fun time, but he said no that he'd been miserable and that he must've gotten too much sun hanging out with some friends in their garden. Later that morning he told me he wanted to work things out and not get divorced etc..."
"I found out much later the reason he was tanned was because after he told me he wanted a divorce, he'd chased his affair partner to Crete and been on holidays with her, going snorkeling etc... and sending photos of his holiday back to his parents."
"Meanwhile I'd asked my mum to visit me because I was mourning my relationship and thinking I was getting divorced. We did eventually, but months later after he finally told me about his affair."
"Cheaters gonna lie and manipulate."
~ Kowai03
...Cheaters Never Win
"My ex was having an affair and I didn't know it yet. One night we got into a big argument and raised the issue of divorce for the first time. We talked for hours before going to bed."
"The next day he and the kids went out of town for the weekend (the fight was over the fact that he had scheduled a weekend vacation without consulting me and I couldn't go because of work). Three days later he was home and we sat down and he cried begged me to stay, saying he didn't want to raise our kids without me and he loved me."
"I found out later that he had met with his affair partner and her kids at the beach and they all had a nice little weekend vacation together. He swore our kids (5 and 9 years old at the time) to secrecy."
"Of everything he did, that's what made me the most angry."
"We're now divorced and co-parenting, he's in a toxic on-again off-again relationship with his affair partner, and he's told me multiple times that he regrets everything."
"Meanwhile I'm enjoying living on my own and hanging with my friends, my kids, and my dog."
~ ApparitionofAmbition
"When I learned my wife was sleeping with my brother."
"Took him in so he wouldn't be homeless (booze) and when he got a job as a systems administrator at 125K she suddenly decided she wanted to be with him rather than lowly me."
"It's okay."
"I ended up meeting the love of my life and we've been together for 18 years now."
"She ended up dumping my brother after she finished her Masters degree."
"They are both alone and (I hope) unhappy."
~ AugieGreenfield
Unrequited Commitment
"I gave up and faced reality when we had our one couple's counseling appointment."
"Therapist asked on a scale of 1 to 10 how much we wanted to save the marriage. I said 10 and he said 0."
"But it turns out I didn’t want to save it either because I realized he didn’t like me all that much, and that’s not a healthy life."
~ MrsUnrulyFarms
"This sounds oddly similar to our marriage therapy session where she asked that same question and he looked bored and then halfway through got up and left."
"She told me, 'I can certainly help you try to save your marriage here, but I can’t do much when he clearly already has one foot out the door'.”
"I started seeing her on my own to help process what was likely the end and it was."
"But it has been over eight years and it was for the best."
~ boygirlmama
Fight, Fight, Fight
"Most conversations turned into an argument."
"Then they became more distant."
"Resentment had well and truly set in."
~ DavosLostFingers
Say One Thing, Then...
"When we sat down as a couple and agreed we could not afford a new car then two days later he bought the new car he agreed we couldn’t afford."
"I came home from work that night ready to argue with him and suddenly realized he knew I would get angry and that was the price he was willing to pay to have the car."
"It took a few months to get the money to move out but my marriage was over that night."
~ LifeHappenzEvryMomnt
"I was engaged to a man like that. We had decided one thing for our future, so I had gotten a job in the area we were going to move to so I would graduate and go right there, with a job."
"Then he did something completely different and when I asked what I was supposed to do, he told me I’d figure it out."
"I waited for him to get to where he was going, which was thousands of miles away, then sent the ring to his mother, certified and insured, and never talked to him again."
"I figured it out all right. Grateful to have been given clear warning and the space to wash that man right out of my hair."
~ sukiskis
Loneliness
"One time I was driving in my car and talking to myself (which I did all the time because I had no one else to talk to). I glanced to my right and my (ex) husband was sitting in the passenger seat."
"He left me alone so much (busy gambling and when he was home, he was glued to his phone/computer) that I was so used to being by myself and ignored so completely that I forgot he was in the car."
"Anyways, I was sort of embarrassed he heard me talking to myself so I said 'oh sorry, I forgot you were here'.”
"He didn’t even reply… so I said his name and he eventually looked up from his phone and said 'did you say something?'."
"I realized how much of my life I was going through completely alone (except for my dog). More things led to the divorce but I realized how being lonely was different than being alone and how much better life got."
~ river_of_coffee
"Mine was along these lines too. There was actually much more, but this one conversation was really the final nail in the coffin/veil finally dropped completely, so to speak."
"I had gone back to school and wasn't doing well in a STEM class, and it was really making me reconsider my path. I wasn't sure what to do."
"We were in bed for the evening and I tried to talk to him about it and my plans to speak with my advisor to potentially switch majors. He was just glued to his phone and I barely got a grunt in response."
"I just couldn't help but think how much it sucked—this was my partner for life? That was the level of support I could expect, especially when I was considering something that would ultimately change the entire course of my life/career?"
"It was awful."
"He also barely said more than 'good job' when I got accepted into a great school. He tried to convince me to go to a much smaller, unknown school instead even though it had literally no impact on him either way."
"Later told me he was jealous and couldn't handle the progress I was making."
~ LoveisaNewfie
In Sickness and—Well...
"After suffering from serious bouts with Crohn's disease for a couple years, in the worst part an episode that lasted 3 months where I dropped from 190 lbs down to 137lbs (I am 6 feet 4 inches tall, and normal weight is about 220lbs)."
"I overheard my (now ex) wife in another room telling her friend that 'she didn't sign up for this' and had no intent of helping me any longer. If I didn't die soon, she'd have to divorce me."
"She'd yell at me for being too loud in the bathroom and waking her up during the night, and repeatedly for being 'lazy' even though I was able to keep my job (she didn't work) through it all and support her and our children."
"Since the divorce, I've had 0 Crohn's flare ups, got back to my normal weight plus a little extra, eat and drink anything I choose, and take 0 medication. It's been over 13 years now, and no relapse."
~ JeegReddit44
"I was suffering these recurring bouts of abdominal pain and in and out of the hospital for about two years, including having an appendectomy."
"I was finally diagnosed with Crohn’s and started testing for the meds they wanted to put me on and found out I had latent TB, which required it’s own lengthy treatment."
"I was weak and miserable and lost my job."
"One evening some friends from out of town wanted to get together but just as we arrived at the meeting place, the pain started and I could feel myself struggling to focus, ears ringing, I felt faint."
"I told my then husband what was happening and I asked him to help me find a place to sit down and he just stared at me oddly. I reached for him saying something like ‘please hold me I think I’m going to faint’ and he stepped back to let me collapse on the sidewalk."
"I was so embarrassed, and so devastated. I wouldn’t do that to a stranger, let alone my partner."
"That was it for me."
~ scrapsoup
When Someone Shows You Who They Are...
"We had problems before this night, but I kept trying counseling and other things hoping it would work out."
"But our youngest was little, maybe not even 2 yet? She had a history of seizures, so we were 'used' to them, but it was still scary."
"It’s the middle of the night and I’m walking back and forth in the living room with her because she had a really high temp, it was 104-something. I was trying to figure out if I wanted to take her to the ER or not as I remember her being really lethargic as well."
"My ex (her dad) stood their screaming at me about what a wh*re I was, what a piece of sh*t I was, how I ruined his life, etc..."
"I remember asking him something like 'what if your daughter came to you and said her partner was talking to her like this, what would you do?'."
"He looked at me and said something like 'well if she deserves it' and shrugged his shoulders."
"I don’t even remember what set him off that night, what I 'did' to upset him. I just remember holding our youngest and over his shoulder I saw my daughter (the oldest and from a previous relationship) sitting at the top of the stairs watching this."
"She was probably around 11….and I just decided I was done. I told myself I was going to make it through the holidays and her birthday."
"We had a good holiday and her birthday was the same sh*t, different day. The attention wasn’t focused on him, so he was a jerk."
"I KNEW I was making the right decision. I waited until the clock hit midnight and I said, 'I want a divorce' and never looked back."
~ JustCallInSick
Divorce rates in the United States have dropped every year since 1980.
The rate had spiked with the rise in feminism and LGBTQ+ equality in the 1970s.
Women were no longer forced to stay in toxic marriages. LGBTQ+ people were able to live more openly instead of conforming to a heterosexual marriage.
A contributing factor to the drop since is fewer people are getting married before they're ready. Gen X and Millennials are waiting longer before taking that step. Gen Z is on track to have one of the lowest marriage rates.
Gray divorces—those of people over 60—are the only divorce rates still on the rise. The cost of healthcare, longterm care and longer lifespans are all factors in gray divorces.
Divorced People Reveal The Final Straw That Ended Their Marriage
When we think of two people getting married, we like to imagine it being the first day of their happily ever after story.
But some of these stories don't end happily, because their marriage was just a chapter in their story. And the reasons why these chapters end can be shocking at times.
Redditor glycerne asked:
"People who divorced, what was the final straw for you?"
Relationship Sabotage
"When I realized they weren’t trying to fix anything in the relationship, but were actively trying to make things worse. Turns out couples therapy was weaponized."
- pacmanman
"It’s pretty sad how many people agree to couples therapy just so they can try to use the therapist's words to win arguments."
- joecee97
The Annoying Partner
"When I realized they found every single thing I did to be annoying. The way I walk, talk, eat, sit, you name it. Other people seem to like me so I'd rather hang with them."
- TRIGMILLION
"There’s nothing worse in the world when this happens from someone that used to see you the opposite way, through a lens of infatuation, where everything you did was a cute quirk."
- Thursday_the_20th
Married Just Because
"I knew my first marriage was over when I'd come home from work and see her car in the driveway and sigh to myself because I didn't want her to be there."
"We were young, early 20s with two kids. I wasn't really in love with her. It was more of in love with the idea of being married, starting a family, etc."
"I tried to stick it out because that's what I thought you were supposed to do."
"After about another year, she asked for a divorce. I didn't want to be divorced, but I didn't want to be married to her, either. In the end, it was better that we got divorced."
- HumpieDouglas
The Malicious Partner
"I started running to help me lose weight. It was very successful."
"I got fit and skinny and he couldn’t deal with other men looking at me in public."
"It got so bad, I would look at the pavement if we were out somewhere, because if I happened to be looking up and some random guy crossed my field of vision, I would get berated, like, 'That guy was looking at you. What did you do? You were flirting with him in front of me.'"
"I was 'in trouble' simply for existing."
"As bad as that was, the 'last straw' came one morning when I was about to head out for a long run. I was in our kitchen putting on a hat and gloves and he said, 'You’re really looking forward to this, aren’t you?'"
"I said, 'Well, yeah.'"
"As I went out the back door, he said in a nasty, hateful voice oozing malice and condescension, 'Well, go appease the running gods, then.'"
" The moment I closed the door behind me, standing on my back porch, I thought, 'That’s it. I can’t listen to that for the rest of my life. I’m done.'"
"Our marriage was running on fumes at that point anyway, but that was it. The moment that broke me. Later that day, I said I was done and wanted a divorce."
"I’m coming up on 15 years since that moment and I don’t regret ending my marriage for one second."
- snerdie
Eye-Opening Advice
"I knew when our marriage counselor told me divorce was something the kids and I could work through but the never-ending H**L from my partner was not."
- 2x4x93
"I had a counselor tell me this. I didn’t believe her. Couldn’t believe her. Yet, she was correct. Everything regarding my relationship with my kids is better. Everything."
- former-bishop
The Cowardly Partner
"The told me the only reason they hadn’t already left was because they were a coward. I’m not."
- 2corbies
Their Dating Life
"When he started dating but forgot to tell me, his wife of ten years."
- itsybitsyboots
"Same, although a husband of ten years."
"I found the pictures on her laptop on Easter morning while she had taken our two kids to the neighborhood park. Easter was a rough holiday for a couple of years after that. I'm much better now."
- Puzzleheaded-Cut3144
An Expensive Gift
"When I discovered he had spent a fortune on a necklace and he didn’t give it to me on Christmas Day."
"We had two very small children and no spare money so I was a little bit put out that he had spent so much money on me... but it wasn’t for me."
"It was a horrific Christmas. I went to the bank to check on other things to find he had forged all my details and taken me off the joint bank account. And I didn’t see any of it coming."
"I left with my children and the clothes we stood up in. It was soooo hard but we are okay now."
- doloresfandango
The Unsupportive Partner
"I’m very family oriented. We went on a family vacation and he told me what a bad mother and wife I was because I wasn’t catering enough to his needs (I was helping everyone pack their clothes and food, I packed the car, and he didn’t help), and I forgot my son's milk (which was easily purchased the next morning)."
"There were so many more things but that was that."
"He still won’t sign the divorce papers."
- Bella-Y-Terrible
"I've been researching this because I’m unfortunately likely going to be getting a divorce soon."
"In my state, the papers need to be served and then the other party has 60 days to respond. If they don’t respond, it just defaults to the person filing as 'winning.'"
"It’s like most lawsuits. If you don’t respond after being properly served, you’ll lose by default."
- Bg-j38
The Projecting Partner
"It was when he told me he didn't think I had ever loved him."
"We had been married for 10 years, and we had two children together. I had stood by his side as he spiraled into depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, I had forgiven him for multiple affairs, and dropped out of school to support our family when he abruptly quit his job citing mental health concerns."
"Yet after all this, he was convinced I had 'never' loved him."
"And I realized that it was all projection. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own story, and he couldn't face that he didn't want the life we had built, so he concocted a story in his head that shifted the blame to me, and decided I had never loved him."
"I had withstood an awful lot in what had become a very toxic environment, but in that moment, I knew I had to leave. No point in sticking around to try to convince someone you love them if they have determined you don't."
"I took off my ring that day, and never put it back on."
- PaganButterflies
When the Grass Is Greener
"When I found on his phone that he was complimenting this woman on how wonderful a mother she was because her sick kid got better."
"He had spent ten years telling me how lazy, useless, and worthless I was, even though I did 99% of everything at home including all the childcare. Yet he could be nice to this woman, he was actually capable of kindness and compliments."
"He was also sexting her but I felt mostly betrayed by him giving attention and kindness to someone while being a complete d-bag to me."
- Alien_Nicole
Never Good Enough
"He told me constantly that my career (the one I’d met him in) was pointless and I didn’t contribute anything."
"So I spent years re-training for a different career and was promoted after a year, way ahead of expected schedule, to a leadership position."
"He didn’t want me to take it and made it clear that he didn’t think I could do it, but I took it anyway."
"Then I was earning more money than him and working about 60 hours per week, and he complained the house looked like crap."
"I agreed and suggested that we got a cleaner now I could afford it."
"He told me, 'This house isn’t big enough to justify a cleaner. You should be able to deal with it.'"
"I realized I’d never be anything but an inconvenience to him. He didn’t actually want me to be successful, just a housewife, even though he seemed to hate that too. I couldn’t win. So I left."
"(Now I'm very happily remarried to my biggest cheerleader.)"
- RiverLover27
The Not-So-Peaceful Home
"I felt sick to my stomach and anxious all the time. That 'walking on eggshells' feeling. When I realized after she went back to work part-time that the highlight of my life was when she was not there but I was home alone with our daughter."
"It was so hard because I had to give up being with my child full-time, but after many bumpy years our shared custody is pretty fair, and we really don’t have much animosity left between us."
- Sookecute
The Unfaithful Partner
"Easy peasy."
"She started hanging out with her manager from work where she used to work. Lunches, brunches, dinners, and drinks. She would tell me I wouldn’t understand what they were talking about since it was work-related and we were working in different fields."
"No problem. I trusted her until one day while she was seated on her sofa and I was cooking, I went to make her try her favorite food, and I saw a message from the guy along the lines of, 'I'm so happy you’ve had your lunch, beautiful.'"
"When confronted, I was told he was just a friend and nothing else."
"I told her it’s been eating me up inside, because it made me feel uncomfortable that she’s spending so much time with him and he’s clearly flirting. I asked her how would It feel if the roles were reversed and I was spending eight hours at their place. I was told that it was okay because that’s my best friend."
"Fast forward a couple of months, and I was seeing my parents for the first time in nine years. I was super elated."
"That was when she dropped the bomb that she wanted a divorce. She left the entire mortgage and debt on me and bounced."
"She moved in with the guy the same day she moved out, citing it would be cost-efficient. She makes six figures, by the way. She told me I could keep the house and in return pay her some money back."
"It's been the best eight or nine months of my life ever since. As it turns out, she was indeed cheating but couldn’t come to terms with telling me about it, so she bounced. It's weird how people who have been with you for 10 years tell you some of the most vile things known to man in order to gaslight you and break you down."
"Edited to add: A few people asked if they are still together. And apparently, they are. She told one of her ex-friends that they just got together but she was called out on it. So she cut ties with almost all of her friends, lol (laughing out loud)."
- AcePrit
Better Without Them
"My first wife decided she doesn’t want to be married anymore and we separated."
"I moved away and got my life together, and she then decided that she wanted me back."
"I told her my life was fine as it is now and did not want to get back together."
"She sent me divorce papers a month later."
- dma1965
There are countless reasons why a relationship might not work out, but these Redditors definitely had some stories to tell.