Americans usually have the problem of thinking they're special but being especially un-special.
But sometimes we do win the special medal--for having this problem that literally NO OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE.
Honestly, these problems are usually CAUSED by American special snowflake syndrome.
u/jimbosayna2009 asked:
What's a uniquely American problem?
Here were some of the answers.
The Kansas Line
Giphy
I'm from Kansas City, Missouri. Not Kansas City, Kansas, which is a silly place. The state line runs right through the middle of the metropolitan area
Just like how Portland is on the or/wa border so part of Portland Oregon metro is Vancouver Washington. Yes, Vancouver Washington. NOT bc, Washington state NOT dc. Causes too much confusion. Especially since Vancouver bc is only a 5 hour drive up I-5
Metred Feet
My tools are imperial, but the thing I need to fix is metric.
My favorite is when you've got a car where the body is US customary units but the power train is metric.
Dang Maine
When in Maine, and you ask a Mainer for directions, some say:
"You can't get there from here."
What's that mean!?
Much of Maine is really rugged, undeveloped, mountainous, lakes, or swamps. "Can't get there from here" isn't literally true of course it just means the way you actually travel somewhere is way, way longer than a straight line distance and might involve backtracking from your current location.
Mary Jane, Only Some People Care For You
Marijuana being legal in over half the country, but illegal in the whole country.
I don't know how dispensaries deal with that. "Well, weed is legal in this state so here's a business license. But good luck opening a bank account and fingers crossed that you don't get raided by the feds."
Wait, Other Countries DON'T HAVE THIS?!
Gaps in the doors of bathroom stalls.
This is one of those things about living in America that drives me absolutely insane! Why doesn't this seem to bother anyone? What is the logic of the bathroom stall designer? I have so many questions!
Road Rage
Getting tailgated by moms in mini vans or guys in monster trucks that could easily run your whole house over.
And anyone who does this and isn't in a giant monstrosity of a vehicle always has their high beams on. I'll slow down to slightly under the limit when they do this. If a cop shows up, well, I couldn't see for the blinding lights in all my mirrors; I slowed down for safety. Can't argue with that.
Dela-where?
When you are visiting another country and everyone is saying where they are from, you say your state instead of your country. And no one is quite sure where Wyoming is!
Wtf is a Delaware?
Sprawl
People blame Americans being fat on us being too lazy to walk anywhere. But they don't realize how pedestrian unfriendly some of these areas are.
In my old town if I wanted to go just to the store, I'd need to walk a few hours to get there. On roads with large logging trucks barrelling by, with no sidewalks, on shoulders that ranged from "here is a few feet and then a sharp dip into a ditch full of blackberry bushes" to "literally nothing, walk on the actual road." Oh and it was a curving road with lots of dips too, where there was a good chance that cars simply could not see you until you were right in front of them. And zero public transport of any kind that would come anywhere near my house.
My new town is much better, but I still have to take a few detours on my way to the store due to the busy roads and complete lack of sidewalk in certain spots.
FIX HEALTHCARE, FOR CHRISSAKES
My insurance claim was rejected after my visit to the urgent care where they said my insurance was accepted. So now I have a bill of $1,428 for having a guy move my arm for 3 seconds to pop my shoulder back in place.
This is why I wait a minimum of 90 days before I pay any medical bill. In the US, 80% of all medical bills have errors. I never get consistent/straight/accurate answers from anyone I talk to with the provider or the insurance company. I almost always get "mystery bills" starting about 45 days after that were never explained or discussed prior.
You're American.
Giphy
Not really a problem but heritage/ancestry is rather uniquely American in my experience. Ask someone from Switzerland what their heritage is and they'll say Swiss. Ask a Brit and they'll say British. Ask a Brazilian and they'll say Brazilian.(Comments say I'm wrong about that one but you get my point)
But ask an American and you'll probably get something like "I'm a quarter Irish and quarter Italian from my dad's side then from my mom I'm 20% English, 12% German, 3% Iroquois Native American, 5% Spanish, and 10% Italian again."
Monetarily AND Emotionally Expensive
Realizing that working yourself to death in highschool to be a straight A student rather than a B-C student to go to an amazing college was essentially pointless because in the real world the most important thing is your degree and it doesn't matter very much where you got it from. Whether you go to Towson or UMBC, a Computer Information Systems degree is a Computer Information Systems degree.
Our education system is pretty terrible by the way.
The Merry Old Land Of Oz
What's up with your land subdivisions? Y'all split a lovely large landmass into 50 tiny *ss subdivisions. Then you walk into a different tiny *ss subdivision and suddenly the laws change. And all your internet companies are snippy f*ckers who disagree and route around entire states resulting in ridiculous quality loss.
In Australia we're like "f*ck alright we've got this giant half of the country how do we get internet here from the other giant half of the country?" "In a straight line ya dickhead"
Everything Is Wrong With US.
Giphy
Paying tens of thousands of dollars for a simple medical treatment, like giving birth.
Worrying about whether a hospital is "in network"
Worrying about how you will pay for being sick, because there is limited sick and holiday pay available.
Having 40%+ of the country so right wing that people like Trump have a chance of being elected to the highest power in the country.
Spending trillions on a military, yet having homeless veterans because the money doesn't stretch to the after effects of service.
Having 40%+ of the country so pro-gun that there can never be any effective form of firearm control.
Having wages so low that consumers are expected to top-up service staff wages, on top of the cost of the goods or services purchased.
Such high wealth inequality that the richest American could buy a half-million dollar house with the same percentage of wealth of an average American buying a $5 meal from a fast food restaurant.
Having the hottest place on the planet, and a place that gets to -50 degrees.
Potential supervolcano eruptions
Fahrenheit
No challengers for the World Series.
Power Hungry Jerks
Home Owner Associations and their ability to fine and sell your property and bully you to their will. I remember when I was reading about these in Reddit I was thinking for days "WTF is wrong with Americans?"
Also, software patents, are unique to U.S.A. or do they have variations in other countries too?
A Country Built On The Backs Of Slaves Will Have This Problem, Duh
Probably the cultural and racial tension between whites and descendants of African Americans and Latinos. Few others countries have so many different cultures and races within its homeland that have coexisted alongside each-other, and have had entire eras in their history where the largest controversy and attention was over matters of race. Examples include the Civil War, Reconstruction, Civil Rights movement, etc.
It's Depressing Over Here, Y'all
Here's a few for you:
- Having the most incarcerated people per capita in the world. (665 per 100,000)
- Paying the most in the world for insulin. Many citizens forced to choose between insulin or food. (A new study finds that people with diabetes in the U.S. are paying between 5.7 times and 7.5 times more than those in the UK for two popular insulins and a rare drug to treat diabetic retinopathy. U.S. consumers absorb this higher cost despite often not being the first in line to have access to new drugs or medical device treatments.)
- Forced to have health insurance, and if you don't- they tax you at 2.5% of your income. Either way you get to pay out of pocket for all of your medical care until you hit your deductible ( usually $5000 or $10,000/ yr) and then insurance companies will only pay 80% of what's left.(The penalty is $695 per adult and $347.50 per child for a maximum of $2,085 per family, or 2.5 percent of the household income, whichever is greater.Mar 14, 2018)
- The highest infant mortality rate of any developed country (The U.S. infant mortality rate of 6.1 infant deaths per 1,000 live births was more than twice that for Japan and Finland )
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
