Ever wonder if our parents simply enjoyed scaring us about the future? Ever wonder what's on that "permanent record?"
Get-off-my-wave asked: What dire warning from your parents turned out to be bullsh*t?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
It's the devil in ya.
I was born left-handed. My pops used to smack me if I used my left hand, in essence forcing me to be right-handed. I had to constantly remind myself to use the hand with my birthmark to avoid smacks. As an adult I asked my pops why he forced me to be right-handed and he gave some tepid response about 'when youre left handed youll have a tendency to pull that way when youre driving exposing you to oncoming traffic'
Sounded like bullsh*t to me, and is confirmed by all the left hand driver is the world that dont spontaneously drive into oncoming traffic. If anyone has any ideas I'd love to know. For reference, my pops is an old school vietnamese dude. I feel like its a cultural thing, but I was raised american and have no f*cking idea.
I did a real estate closing a few years ago for a recent middle-aged Chinese immigrant. She looked at me writing with wide eyes, and said, "You're left handed! So am I!!!"
I was confused because she was writing with her right hand, so I asked, and she said that in China, she wasn't allowed to wright with her left land and that they'd smack her when she tried.
My mother would be slapped for using her left hand as a young girl. Apparently it was considered a sign of the devil.
Why not both?
That my two choices in life were either Harvard or McDonald's. Sheesh. Bit of a gray area in between those two extremes.
So, can I get fries with that?
You may get fries with your Masters Degree.
Mom's not playing around.Giphy
That if I used one brand of shampoo and a different brand of conditioner that my hair would fall out. Also when I was five or six I asked what would happen if you went the opposite way that you turned the turn signal, my mom told me the car would explode and kill us. Not sure why she told me that sh*t.
Because it was hilarious to watch the rising panic in your eyes as she signaled right, then twitched the wheel left.
How do you know my mom so well? Immediately after telling me that she veered the opposite way of the turn signal. I still remember that cry lol. She's got a dark sense of humor.
Yeah, that really came in handy.
I would be unemployable if I didn't learn cursive handwriting. Parents and teachers made me think that every job interview would have a cursive test in which they would measure the loops on the L's or something.
Seriously have never once used cursive since like taking the ACT.
It was on the ACT? Weird.
My public schooling spanned the 2000s, so we were forced to learn cursive in 3rd grade, got told it was the way of the world, then started learning to type in class instead starting the next year.
In other news, I always got told that cursive was the faster way to write.... But it always took me like 4x as long to write in cursive.
That's pretty funny.
When you press the red button with the triangle in the car all the doors fall off.
When teaching the class how to use the classroom computer, my 1st grade teacher told us all that if we clicked the trash can icon on the desktop, it would make the computer explode and we would get in a lot of trouble.
Hiding your extracurricular porn in the recycle bin? Interesting strategy.
"We can't pay $1 to go in the haunted house because they might not have a bathroom in there. What if you have to go to the bathroom?"
Just admit you're cheap, Dad.
I'd much rather have this than my experience growing up... my dad would ALWAYS complain at ticket booths about how it was free that one day so it should be free today. Or he would ask for some discount that didn't apply to him, or claim to have a coupon that maybe he had at one point, or is expired now.
We would have escalating levels of managers come and talk to us and he would keep doing it. He made my mom cry sometimes, I was just embarrassed. He sees it as "good business sense, they think you're stupid if you don't ask for a discount". He doesn't realize this isn't a bazaar, he doesn't even come from a country where that's normal.
The worst part about all this? We could afford it. My dad just hates paying for experiences and would rather go shopping or do ANYTHING else.
Edit: I put it in the story because I knew it would come up but it seems to have been glossed over by many. Again, he doesn't even come from a country where bartering/haggling is commonplace, at least not in large cities where my family is from. The most you can do is maybe ask for a bulk discount if you're at an independent stall in a market or something, which is something I'm not against and it doesn't hurt to ask; however, my dad takes it a step further and feels that just because he's him, he should get greater discounts/free things.
When I worked in the service industry, I could never figure out why people would go through all that hassle just to save a couple of dollars. Isn't your time and dignity worth two whole dollars?
Not to my dad. He would rather act a fool and save ONE DOLLAR.
We were in his home country one time, at a place that charged the equivalent of $1 USD for parking/entrance. As soon as we pull up to the guy my dad starts his spiel and I just roll down the window (I'm sitting right behind him) and hand the guy the money while saying I got it. Guy lets us in, dad starts saying he was trying to save us money and I shouldn't have done that. My mom, for once, didn't enable him and said she's sick of that, it's a business and they need to make money too... and she's not in the mood to be embarrassed today.
It happened to be at almost the exact same place where we had the worst of those confrontations with managers, only 20+ years later.
Like little starchy sprinkles.
My mom warned me as a kid that eating the loose pieces of dried ramen from the pack would make me deathly ill.
I kept doing it with no problems. One day she said that in front of my dad when I was a teen and he just gave her this "wtf are you talking about" look.
I was told it would give you worms.
Those are the best bits.
Belly button BS.Giphy
"If you unscrew your belly button your bum will fall off."
I did my best to avoid screwdrivers for a large part of my childhood because I lacked the will power not to stuff them into my belly button. I was terrified at the thought of losing my bum but intrigued by the possibility.
Your comment is putting me to tears. But I don't understand, were you obsessed with sticking screwdrivers in your belly button before or after your
mom father told you that?
Not OP but I was fascinated with my belly button. I remember that I kept sticking things in there.
Life's hard if you're a d*ck.
My ex-stepdad owned a restaurant where I worked as a busboy when I was a teenager. He was always very tough on me, berating my work, etc. While telling me that he was going easy on me and when I got a job in the "Real world" (his favorite phrase) my bosses would be so much tougher on me.
I quit a month before my 16th birthday and went to work at the local Dairy Queen and found out he was full of sh*t. My mom left him shortly after that, thankfully.
Worked at an ice cream shop for my first job and told people how cruel and shady the managers/owner are. "That's just what jobs are like" "you have an easy job" "it only gets worse." I was contemplating suicide b/c I was bullied by management. Once a manager pushed me and started talking sh*t on my mom I quit. Turns out literally everywhere else is a much better work environment and you shouldn't feel like crying or throwing up when going into work.
Edit: thanks for the kind comments everyone! I did not expect this to blow up as much as it did
This was so scary.
If you get in trouble at school it will go on your PERMANENT RECORD and ruin your life.
Not once has anyone, from college admissions to prospective employers to loan officers, so much as mentioned the legendary PERMANENT RECORD.
I went back to my old high school a year after I graduated and asked to see what was in my Permanent Record...and they'd already thrown it away.
It was only permanent temporarily.
Most of the wild kingdom is far more ingenious and kind than us.
And when they do get "snippy," it's usually in reaction to humans.
They share food, build one another home, and will adopt lost creatures from another family.
We have a lot to learn from them.
Redditor pancakebunny15 wanted to discuss the best knowledge that can be shared about animal kingdom.They asked:
"What is a wholesome animal fact you know?"
I have two dogs. They make me feel better. That's my wholesome take.
Dam ItWorking On My Way GIF by San Diego ZooGiphy
"When they hear running water, beavers will automatically start to build a dam. We know this because people put a speaker playing sounds of running water next to beavers, and the first thing they did was start building a dam on the speaker."
"There are reports of elephants finding humans sleeping under trees and the elephants think they're dead. People have woken up with elephants gently stroking them with their trunk and in some cases they try to cover them with branches and sticks as a 'burial.' Elephants are one of the few animals who mourn their dead and have rituals."
"I saw a video not too long ago of some research ravens given small toys to play with. When the researchers came to collect the toys the ravens hid the toys and tried to trick the researchers into looking in fake hiding spots so they wouldn't find and take the toys away."
"Ravens are crazy smart. They can use tools to solve problems, remember human faces especially ones they have a grudge or connection with, and will sometimes bring trinkets for people who give them food and such."
"Orcas have incredibly complex social structures. They have different languages and regional dialects. They have names. They sing and dance. Pods that are close and speak the same language will mourn deaths and celebrate births together, even from other pods, other families."
"Their young are largely taught by the matriarch(s) of the pod, and they're able to teach verbally, rather than by showing. This means they have culture. Traditions, not just instinct or patterns. One of the only animals in the world that has that."
Group Effortguinea pig eating GIFGiphy
"In Switzerland it is illegal to own only one Guinea Pig as they get lonely."
Two of every pet is always best.
ColorsVideo Platypus GIFGiphy
"Despite all the weirdness that is the Platypus, they are still discovering weird things about it. Within the past two years it was discovered that platypus fur glows blue-green when exposed to ultraviolet light."
"Wild wolf packs and murders of crows form bonds over time. The crows help lead the wolves to live prey and in return and crows get the scraps after the wolf pack has eaten their fill. Crows have been seen playing with wolf pups and bringing them sticks and feathers as gifts."
"These same crows and wolf pups reunite as adults and do the deal time and time again. Sometimes the birds and carnivores just hang out together, supposedly just to enjoy each other's time. Like Hood Nature (Casual Geographic) once said, 'There's a Disney movie in here, I just know it.'"
Sharing is Caring
"Vampire bats will share food with other vampire bats who haven't fed in the last day or two (their metabolism means they die if they don't eat roughly every three days). This helps support members of the colony, even though it puts the sharer at risk. It is considered one of the few forms of altruism observed in non-human animals."
"My father in law worked for a commercial plumbing company. They got a job putting in all the water related stuff for the primate enclosures at the local zoo. While working near orangutans, they had to not leave their tools unattended, and take inventory when they left. The orangutans would try to use the tools to take their enclosure apart."
"Bonus Wholesome: Years later, my son got a book on animals at the book fair. Reading it together, when we got to the part about orangutans it said, 'orangutans are so smart, plumbers working on their enclosures at the (Hometown) Zoo had to be careful not to get their tools taken when working on their enclosure.'"
"I said, 'Holy crap, they are talking about your grandpa!!'"
SlumberWildlife Zebra GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
"Zebras can’t sleep alone which leads to my theory Marty spent like 80% of the Madagascar movies as a raging insomniac hence explaining his erratic personality at times."
I love animals. They're so much better than us humans.
Okay hear me out, Zombie apocalypse films all get it wrong.
They focus on things like ammo, cool cars, and buff people trained in hand-to-hand combat (all of which are cool things) but fail to take into consideration that the true hero of the apocalypse is likely to be... secretly freaky suburban moms.
Reddit user DrillSargeee asked:
"What common household item would be priceless in a post-apocalyptic scenario?"
We'll get back to my theory that Britney Spears from the "If You Seek Amy" video might actually be our post-apocalyptic final girl superhero, but first let's talk to Reddit.
Sodium HypochloriteNicksplat Bleach GIF by NickRewindGiphy
"Absolutely. You only need a teeny tiny bit to make a lot of water drinkable."
"I was told by one of my patients who survived in Germany during WWII. She asked me multiple times if I kept enough bleach at home. She said it was by far the thing they used most, in order to purify water for drinking."
"Bleach starts to degrade after six months and gets less effective by 20% every year. And that’s if you store it properly. So make sure to adjust calculations if using older bleach."
"That's uselful for anything"
"Much like the Force, it has a dark side and a light side and it binds things together."
"Every time we go hiking my dad brings duct tape, and every single time we use it. It's pretty impressive stuff"
"I remember seeing one of those prepper shows, and he was talking about legit prepping for a zombie apocalypse."
"This bit always stayed with me cos I thought it was genius, but he was suggesting wrapping duct tape around clothes to create a kinda makeshift leather armour. to protect against bites."
Multi Use Shovel
"(based on a roleplaying session with very limited tools. My character was quickly nicknamed 'Shovel' based on the multitude of problems he could solve with the only item he could find)"
"Digging holes, cracking skulls, digging holes for the cracked skulls"
"Ah, that satisfying 'Pang!' from hitting a face *just* right! -Chef's kiss-"
"Is it a Tactical Shovel with 1,000,001 uses including eating ice cream?"
"When my mom took me and my sister to stock ourselves with a bug out bag, one of the first things I grabbed was a collapsible shovel."
"Entrenching, making fire pits, one edge is serrated for cutting wood, and the handle is designed to make it easy to use as a makeshift battle axe. Probably in the top 3 of most important tools I have."
Iron, Cast Iron
"I have a cast iron skillet that I use so much it feels like part of my hand. Seasoned to a black mirror shine. It's a pan, it's a bowl, it's a melee weapon, what more could you need?"
"I had so many answers, then I read this.."
"It's just too useful to leave."
"Proper iron intake is essential for survival. You get iron simply by cooking in your skillet. You may have the best answer here."
"Who knew, right?"
"Books, because hiding out in a bunker would probably get old quick"
"Things like manuals, encyclopedias, atlases and even cookbooks hold a lot of knowledge that would definitely come in handy."
"I have an antique pharmacists' guide from the 1890's that I bet would be useful!"
"It doesn't just list how to make medications. It lists how to make things like lotion and diaper rash cream and toothache powders. All types of daily things."
"Nice one. Cabin fever might be the intro to full-blown mental breakdown."
Unibrow Or Not, Useful .
"Tweezers… I know that’s not a kitchen thing… but they come in handy from splinters to unibrows. As for an actual kitchen thing, perhaps a sturdy pot and sharp knife (weapons and food prep)."
"I'm letting my unibrow go if we get to post-apocolypse. (Tweezers are super useful though)"
"So many medical uses for tweezers! You can perform a minor surgery with tweezers and a sharp knife."
Multi-Toolknife tools GIF by Kaho YoshidaGiphy
"A Leatherman multi-tool."
"We called them diggits in the navy. I always have one on me and my wife got me an upgraded one last birthday."
"Good to know. I just bought my boyfriend one for his birthday."
"Ha ! Was here for saying that. It's a tool with a range of uses beyond imagination."
"Weights and measures are often overlooked in dystopian fiction. But they form the very basis of early/emerging economies. Having a reliable scale means you can conduct trade and bartering effectively and consistently."
"Especially an analogue scale. Digital scales will eventually need rechargeable batteries and a screen replacement."
"God damn. You just blew my mind. Never once thought of this, thank you"
"Especially if we go back to precious metal dependence"
"I have a feeling you're going to be dosing medicinal herbs before you conduct trade."
"Or mixing up saltpeter, sulfur and charcoal."
"But good answer 👍"
Buy Or Harvest , Vitamin C
"Humans cannot produce it but need it. Depending on what SHTF scenario, transportation might be impacted, meaning no fresh foods and no vitamin c until you can grow something. Some cheap vitamin c tabs could prevent issues due to vitamin c deficiency"
"Nettles make a wonderful spring tonic due to all of the needed chemicals they contain. People used to make a tea with nettles and peppermint (it's really tasty too) to help recover after a long winter."
"I don't know where you live but in my area most people have dozens of plants that contain high concentrations of vitamin C right in their yards, and many can be harvested year round"
"Birch bark tea/sap fixes that issue."
Kniferaul julia GIFGiphy
"Good quality knives."
"Knife sharpener too"
"This is the only good answer here. People think perishables and medicines will matter. Those things only matter in society because we continue to replace them. In the apocalypse, they are only stop-gaps."
"They buy you time but they solve nothing. You will eventually run out of them and you will be back at square one. Everyone here is also assuming the incredible privilege of sheltering in place. In a true apocalypse, nowhere is safe. You will have to be a nomad or be incredibly lucky to find a tiny oasis of civilization. Even then, there won't be anything remotely resembling modern drug production or agriculture."
"The only people surviving the apocalypse are the people already living like they're in one. (Not me)."
Well, we're certainly going to add some of these items to our bug out bags if Z-day every does come.
Do you have something to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
I have been truly moved by the tributes and messages honoring the life and work of Nichelle Nichols, our very own Lieutenant and later Commander Uhura on Star Trek.
Although our original series ran only three seasons, we became bonded as the fans of our show organized, convened and ultimately pressed for movies and spin-offs of the groundbreaking show. Nichelle and I spent the following decades together as not only colleagues from the bridge of the Enterprise, but as lifelong friends.
Much has been said about what a trailblazer and role model Nichelle was for so many young Black women, who saw in her hope and promise for their own future. I wanted to take a moment to share some stories about Nichelle that aren’t as well known, and which highlight her lively spirit, her incredible kindness, and her warm generosity.
Courtesy of the Takei Family
Our friendship began six decades ago, before Star Trek, when she came backstage after a performance of a civil rights musical I was doing called “Fly Blackbird” in Los Angeles. I will never forget that first meeting. She was stunningly beautiful. But beyond her beauty, she stood out. It was a time when many African American women “conked” their hair, which meant straightening it, as was the current fashion. Instead, Nichelle wore an enormous natural “Afro” sphere on her head. It was natural, it was proud, and it was glorious. I knew right then that she was a singular individual.
Back in the 1970s, after our series ended on television, I became active in local politics and even ran for city council in Los Ángeles. That required a lot of fundraising dinners and political campaigning, and I knew that I could always ask Nichelle to be our featured performer. She always donated her talent and made every event feel special and glamorous. Indeed, Nichelle made a point of being at every important milestone of mine that she could, including the opening of Allegiance just a few years ago on Broadway and later in Los Ángeles. As a trained stage actress, Nichelle knew how special such occasions were to us.
Courtesy of the Takei Family
When my husband Brad and I got married, we asked Walter Koenig, who played ensign Chekov on the show, to be our best man at the wedding. We asked Nichelle to be our matron of honor. In her characteristic fashion, Nichelle declared, “I am not a matron! If Walter can be best man, why can’t I be best lady?” Noting that Walter’s “best man” title implied the awkward title of “best woman,” she was determined to be known as the “best lady” to the guests. I told her, “Of course you are.”
When my father passed away, Nichelle came to the funeral and she saw many Japanese Americans with envelopes. They were handing them over to a receptionist in the lobby. She was always a curious soul, so she asked me, “George, what are they bringing to the funeral?” I said it was friends and relatives making financial contributions to support the funeral costs. Nichelle had never heard of the Japanese tradition called koden. A few days later, an envelope arrived in the mail from her. Inside was a check for $500, a very generous koden.
Bettmann / Contributor via Getty Images
So while fans will miss and honor the famous actress who opened so many paths with her presence on the screen, I will also miss the dear friend who always let you know she was there to support you, to love you, and to go through this strange and wonderful life alongside you.
Nichelle Nichols, you were one in a million in so many, many ways.
The good thing about that embarrassing secret only a handful of people knew about you getting out in school is that it quickly becomes old news.
It's only a matter of time before another scandal surfaces that gives everyone at the school something to gossip about.
That is the hope anyway, especially in life way beyond your high school years.
Curious to hear of the controversies that eventually died down, Redditor Late_Cicada6740 asked:
"What's a massive scandal / controversy that people seem to have forgotten about?"
The fact that many horrific crimes are long forgotten does nothing to provide peace and closure for victims and their families.
"Those Turpin siblings that escaped being chained to their beds by their sh**ty parents? Happy ending, right? Yeah, no. Turns out their foster parents ended up abusing them even worse and now a bunch of them are suing."
"Edited to add: I'm not American and this update did not make international news at all. Nobody I've spoken to about this knew of the update."
Why is it that politicians and scandal are inextricably linked?
Power Of The Cult
"In 2016 South Korea had a political scandal in which the president Park Geun-hye was exposed for being manipulated/controlled by a cult called 'The 8 Goddesses Cabal.'"
"South Korea was literally being ruled by a cult. Park was impeached."
"The NYC Mayor's wife misplaced a whole lot of money and nobody seems to care."
"Edit: Warren Wilhelm, more commonly known as Bill Deblasio, appointed his wife who then proceeded to 'lose' 850 million dollars"
"assassination of haiti's president."
Behind The Assassination
"Shoot the stories behind it are so wild. A florida pastor was accused of orchestrating the assassination. Some of the assassins were instagramming their way as if on vacation all the way to the Dominican Republic."
"Gangs took over the country in the interim. The new President refusing really any real investigation. Just a crazy weird mess."
The world we live in is hardly Utopian. Some things we prefer wiping from memory, while other notable headlines we hear or read about should remain as important reminders to stay alert of ongoing problems.
Take Care Of The Environment
"You’d be amazed and disgusted at how much stuff you think you are recycling that your municipalities are shipping off to other countries just so they can dump it in the ocean for you. We know this is happening too but because we’re disconnected from it we just ignore it.""Call your local gotta and push to have better programs in place. Ban single use plastics. E mail your fast food chains to turn their lids into drinkable lids etc. so many plastic items CAN NOT be recycled."
"Wells Fargo bank opening BS accounts and submitting credit card applications on behalf of their customers....without their knowledge or consent."
"I'm actually a customer with them and have been for years so for all I know they did that to me, but all I ever got was a couple emails about how they're really a good company with good people and that doesn't reflect their values or some such crap like that."
"I think they ended up firing a lot of people and executives who knew about it were fined millions of dollars. But I mean if the practice went that high it must have been widely known."
Turbulence In The Industry
"Airlines getting bailed out by taxpayers during crisis and with executives still taking huge bonuses. The quality of airlines significantly deteriorated because they don’t want to compress profit by paying more to hire more and expand flight offerings again to pre pandemic levels."
Art Of Scalping
"Ticketmaster buying their own tickets to scalp out at thousands of dollars."
Poisoning The Ocean
"Dupont (still active company) when producing Teflon dumped loads of bad chemicals into the water and Teflon was posioning people all over the world giving them 6 known types of cancer. They covered it up for decades. Crazy how evil some companies are."
It's good that some earth-shattering scandals are left in the past.
The ugly truth is, there is new gossip fodder always waiting in the wings for the public to masticate on. There's never a dull moment in our world right now.