It is really easy to be a decent human being. Nobody is asking anyone to be a super hero or do something life threatening. It takes only seconds to be kind. So try it... please. With the state of the world today, every possible gesture, big, small, grandiose.... microscopic could change a life. Be the change, spread some joy. It will help others but it will mostly help oneself.
Redditor u/Self_World_Future wanted everyone to share about which actions that often seem to go unnoticed are truly the greatest gifts by asking.... What is an underrated thoughtful gesture?For the Memory
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Visiting someone with Alzheimers. You will leave with a broken heart and in 20 minutes they won't remember that you were there. But during your visit they will hopefully feel loved or at least know someone cares.
You First
Letting someone with minimal items cut in front of you at the grocery checkout.
This guy let me (man did he damn insist) go in front of him. I forget what I had but it was only one item. I had brought what I thought was enough change but I ended up being like a quarter or two short. It was awkward as hell when I walked away without the item I wished to purchase. I looked at the guy like, "sorry I wasted your time, but I could have waited." I mean I came back after I got some more change from my car, but he doesn't know that.
Getting Home
If you are driving someone home. At night, wait for them to get to the door, unlock and enter before you leave.
My dad was a little league coach so it was pretty normal for him to give rides to players to get to the game and drop them off afterwards. After dropping off the last passenger, I asked why we weren't going home yet. And my parents explained to me they want to make sure they're able to get into their house.
I hope you trip....
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Waiting for the friend that is tying their shoelaces.
PEOPLE THAT KEEP WALKING WHILE THEIR FRIEND IS TYING THEIR SHOELACES ARE RUUUUDDEEE!!!!!!!!! AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL!
Walk About....
If you're in a group walking and someone's falling behind (carrying something, have to tie their shoe, just a slower walker/has shorter legs etc), at least one person waiting for them to catch up. Doesn't have to be everyone, but just one person, maybe two, waiting for them to finish what they're doing or to catch up a bit.
Both my best friend and my S/O have done this for me at varying points in our relationships, and every time they do it it makes me want to cry bc it shows they care and don't want me to feel left out even though I've got these short little freaking corgi legs and they're all walking at the speed of sound.
Trashed.
When someone you're hanging out with throws away your trash or takes your dishes when you're done eating. Not that I expect that all the time, but I find it sweet when it happens. Like if you're sitting down at a fast food restaurant and your friend grabs your trash and throws it away with theirs.
Oh Brad....
Remembering little things. The other day I was talking to a friend and told him I just found out my sister is pregnant and he said "oh, the one who's married to Brad?". It was just nice that he makes a point to remember details that don't necessarily mean anything to him.
Reach Out
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Texting a friend just to see how they are doing. It's always nice to have someone reach out vs feeling like you are the person reaching out all the time.
People Matter
Saying Hi to the security guard.
Yeah. One time years ago, I had to go to the office on a weekend to pick up something I forgot at my desk. Unfortunately there was some fair or parade going on so the parking lot was completely packed and I had to park several blocks away. The security guard who I always said hi to noticed me coming in and when I was leaving, offered to drive me to my car since it was getting dark and he figured I had to have walked a good distance away.
I Hear You.
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Really listening when people speak and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
Just Cross....
When a car stops to let me cross the street, thereby forcing the other oncoming car to also recognize that I need to cross.
There is a busy road I have to cross daily and I'm so grateful every single time that the cars stop for me to cross. It's just a simple gesture of feeling recognized.
To make the pedestrian feel more comfortable while they cross I always pull out my phone and watch a video while revving the engine and creeping into the crosswalk a bit.
The phone and video shows them that my eyes are focusing on something other than them and the revving and creeping shows I can't hear them as well. Most pedestrians are excitedly yelling at me for what I assume is praise for helping them cross and not staring at them.
being kind....
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Giving a compliment. E.g you look nice today.
Yep, and to break it down even further. Give a compliment regarding something within that person's control. That way you're acknowledging something they've proactively done in their life and at the same time positively reinforcing the behavior.
The Dishes
Today's been a rough one and my aunt just cleaned the kitchen for me so that is one thing that i very much appreciate. Little things that most people think of as just part of someone's day can really make a big difference to that person.
Once when I was really depressed and I hadn't done my dishes in so long that they were starting to create their own ecosystem two of my friends came over and washed everything. I will never forget it and I'm still always looking for chances to pay them back.
Obviously.... don't be vulgar.
If you think something good about a stranger, (like if you admire their hair or makeup) that you should politely compliment them. Obviously don't be vulgar.
Last year at pride my husband and I got drunk and we're yelling out compliments to strangers. We were sitting at a Y near a walk way so people could just use the other path if they were shy. But we got so many drinks bought for us and took sooo many pictures with people and so many hugs. It was honestly super fun and I'm gonna do it again when our plague is over.
Simplicity....
A thank you card.
This is the most under rated comment here. One of my projects for students was to have them send a thank you card to someone who did something for them. Later I would ask for feedback and found it interesting they were often amazed at how much it meant. I basically told them one of the best investments they could make in life was to buy a pack of thank you cards at the dollar store.
And I am?
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Saying a person's name when addressing them.
This actually creeps me out unless I know the other person really well and like them.
Snapshot
I cannot possibly stress this enough.
Take candid pictures of a mother with her children.
Or frankly ANYONE with their children... or grandchildren... or friends... doing something other than posing in front of a fireplace at Christmas. You really have no idea how much I treasure the rare glimpses of me interacting with my kids when smiles aren't forced. Take them, send them, they want them. You don't have to ask... just... do it. (So long as you, ya know... know them and what not).
Roses are Red....
Non expensive flowers for occasions. Im talking $10 daisy arrangement for your coworkers last day, or just because to a friend, I always bring wine and flowers as a host/hostess gift. There are so many cool flowers (not just roses!!)
And it can be for a male or female. The kings in your life deserve flowers as much as grandma. Tell him those sunflowers reminded you of his smile, tell Bertha from accounting you appreciate the prompt Thursday afternoon checks. Tell Gamgam she's your favorite and leave a little sunshine in your wake.
The Helper
- Asking if a person got home okay.
- Carrying groceries, bags or heavy items for an older person or family member. lukemscar
First one absolutely; second one ask first, so they don't think you're trying to steal their groceries! Don't want to stress out gram & gramps.
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One of my favorite books is "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." It was a key element in unlocking what I could see with my imagination. No adolescent should go beyond sixth grade without knowing it. What else?
"ANNOUNCEMENT FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE READING THIS THREAD:"
"MANY OF THE BOOKS MENTIONED HERE ARE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND IN AUDIO BOOK FORM. GO THROUGH YOUTUBE/RANDOMHOUSE/AUDIBLE/OVERDRIVE FOR ALL THE CLASSICAL GOODNESS YOU WANT."
"It almost totally eliminates the financial/time commitment that many will cite for not picking them up. I listen to books on double speed all the damn time. I am working my way through "A Tale of Two Cities" now."
Meaning
wondering simon cowell GIF by X Factor GlobalGiphy"Man's search for meaning - Viktor Frankl."
Oh Milo
"The Phantom Tollbooth."
"Maybe one of my favorite literary moments…"
"Milo: "Many of the things I'm supposed to know seem so useless that I can't see the purpose of learning them at all."
"Princess of Sweet Rhyme: "...what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover the wonderful secrets of tomorrow."
- wort_hog
Johnny
"Johnny's Got His Gun. It's so intense, but it's so good. Metallica's song One is based off this book. Guy has his arms and legs blown off, goes blind and deaf, and is left to live like that. I only read it once, but it's forever engrained into my memory. It hits you like a freight train."
Brothers...
"Surprised I haven't seen it here already so I'll add it... The Brother's Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. In Slaughterhouse 5 Vonnegut said it could teach everything that we needed to know about life, except that wasn't enough anymore."
"If the only thing that book did was make you marvel at how people centuries and oceans removed from you in time and place, could experience the exact same emotions about life as you did, it would be worth the read. There's so much more to it, but Dostoyevsky had such a knack for digging deep into universal human experience. And it's just a hell of a good story too."
Classics
diva read GIFGiphy"Speaking as somebody who isn't religious, the literary value of the Bible (and the Hebrew Bible) is severely underrated."
I took a class on it in college, with a prof who'd once allegedly gotten into a bar fight over Beowulf. We would sometimes spend half a class discussing a single verse or two because there's so much stuff going on under the hood."
- dmillson
I know so many of those. And sadly, I'm already behind in my studies. I love books and I'm always on the path to find more to consume. Let me ready my already lengthy list.
WAR
War Shockwave GIFGiphy"All Quiet on the Western Front. Everyone should have to reckon with the reality of what war actually means."
- BigHern
Thanks Teach...
"Night, by Elie Wiezel. It is absolutely heartwrecking , and I hated every moment of reading it, which is exactly the effect it is supposed to have."
"Came here looking for this one. I had to read it back in high school and it blew me away how moved I was by it. Stories like his need to be remembered for all time, no matter how hard it is to get through (emotionally-speaking; it's actually quite an easy and short read). I'm so grateful that my English teacher assigned it."
West
"The Westing Game."
"A Librarian here, such a terrific book. I have gotten so many kids to read it by hooking them with the fact that the reader can play the game and has all of the clues. And good luck as it is fiendishly clever."
All the Good Crazy
"The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Such a great book."
"Oh my god yes. I love this book for being the sex, drugs and rock and roll of the classics world. It is lengthy but has revenge, treasure, plots and schemes and drugs. There is nothing stuffy about this classic."
- skundrik
The "Good"
"The Giver- that book made my 9-10 year old mind really think about what was important in society. It was the first time the idea of "good" things having a negative consequence was presented to me. I think what makes it work is that we are learning how this whole society really works along side a character who has lived in it his whole life."
"As the facade of the utopian society begins to fall away to show devastating consequences of the "perfect life and society" the reader not only feels their shock but the main character's shock. This was a book I read in school 4 times- once in 5th grade and once in 10th for English and then in both high school and college sociology classes. This book written for 9-13 year olds made for great discussions."
Good and Bad of Life
read ford GIFGiphy"The Grapes of Wrath and/or Of Mice and Men. Both are heartbreaking, but not for the sake of being heartbreaking - instead they provide a glimpse of how freaking hard life can be, but also how beautiful it can be."
That is a lot of good advice. And a lot of great storytelling and advice giving. Did anyone miss anything that should be there? And make sure you read anything by Harlan Coben, he's a fav.
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