Anesthesiologists Share The Craziest Things Patients Have Said Under The Influence Of Medication
Some of these modern medicines can really pack a wallop.
Remember that Taylor Swift video her mom took of her?
That was too good.
Patients teeter between a laugh riot and a hideous, dramatic mess.
Either way, it's pretty entertaining.
Redditor DvS_Insanity wanted to hear about what we all mumble when under the influence before surgery.They asked:
"Anesthesiologists of Reddit, what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?"
I haven't really been under so deep I expressed these kinds of thoughts. I'm ok with skipping surgery, actually.
Fingered
Kung Fu Wtf GIF by A24Giphy"I ask a patient after surgery how he feels. He opens his eyes, stares me dead-on and says 'with my fingers.' Then he goes right back to sleep."
DrBarbotage
'hand... hand please'
"I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying 'hand... hand please.' and making 'grabby hands' with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep. I hadn't done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept."
mercyinreach
'Ooo ithh a robot'
"My boyfriend at the time had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, on the ride home with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone. He answered it and just starts talking away, whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about and they apparently didn't hang up..."
"After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation, he looks at me and says 'Ooo ithh a robot' and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time it's been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat. Probably for the best."
December_Flame
Slurred...
"I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was a 40-some year old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia. She said 'oh I don’t remember it tasting like that before' (slurred). I said 'what does it taste like?' Since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction. She almost yelled 'DEEEZ NUTS,' and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling laughing for minutes after she was under."
Zefside89
“AHHHH”
Oh My Love GIF by WWEGiphy"After an operation on a patient's neck, he woke up and yelled 'AHHHH' then grabbed his junk with both hands and was like 'oh thank God it’s still there' then immediately passed out again."
tv__doctor
People are funny with no censor. And dialogue dangerous...
Beauty
"My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying 'you're beautiful' and making clicking noises while I was under. I'm a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later."
cassiecas88
Nasty
"I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wakeup at 2am with no memory making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes."
"I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. Another I refused to listen to followup orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at so she can warn them lol."
__hill
'That's my wife for ya'
"My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate - but it wasn't a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was. They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they're taking her under, the doctor says something like 'Okay, in it goes' and she immediately quips with 'That's what she said.' All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said 'That's my wife for ya.'"
StrawberryPeachies
Treasures
"One summer I was home from college and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble. I go back and am making chit chat. 'Oh dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!' He raised his head a little bit to look at them then yelled, 'Booty call!' He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever."
mildflower9
Hugs
Kat Graham Netflix GIF by GIF RegistryGiphy"Apparently, when I had surgery to remove my Bartholin’s gland (a gland at the entrance of the vagina that can get an abscess), they asked me how I felt as soon as I was awake. I said I felt like I got attacked by an elephant and then I wanted to hug everyone."
relentlessvisions
Oh, the things we'll say when under the influence.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
- Anonymous Doctors Share The Dumbest Patient Stories They've ... ›
- Surgeons Share How They Deal With Bathroom Breaks and Meals ... ›
- People Imagine The Funniest Things To Say Before Getting Put ... ›
- Medical Professionals Divulge The Funniest Things Patients Have ... ›
As much as we think we can get along with everyone, that's not always the case.
There are certain types of people you gravitate toward and making a connection with them is easy. But there are also those with specific personality traits you know very well to steer clear from.
Try as we might, we can't be friends with everyone. The best we can do is be the best version of ourselves and stay within a community of people who you vibe with.
Curious to hear from the types of people strangers online prefer keeping a distance from, Redditor KnownNormie asked:
"What type of person could you never be friends with?"
Some people like in the following examples should be put in their place.
Too Many Theatrics
"Someone who constantly makes everything dramatic."
– Anxiety_Ridden_Camel
Space Hoggers
"Someone who obviously doesn't care about anyone's boundaries."
– Jay4025
Embracing The Dark
"Guilt Trippers"
"Those who think its cool and edgy to be negative about everything."
– Stormflier
How can people who think the world revolves around them expect to maintain or gain friendships?
All About Me
"Self centered people."
–needtofreemyself
The One-Upper
"Yeah, that gets old really fast. I am a reformed one upper. I would also interrupt people. I was hard to take when I was younger. I didn’t learn to STFU until I was forced to take a sales job and discovered just how crap I was socially. The last twenty years I’ve gotten a lot better and now enjoy listening to other people’s stories more than telling my own."
– MobileAccountBecause
Not My Problem
"The one who always blame others."
– Reasonable-mcArdles
We could all benefit from personal growth.
They Wait For Life To Happen
"Someone who doesn’t want to learn more about life and its intricacies. I only want friends who think deeply about things and can have varied conversations on religion, politics, the world, and all of life. This life is too vast and insane not to seek depth in it.
– Glass-Philosopher302
Don't Take Life Too Seriously
"Someone who is always serious and can't take a joke. As well as someone who gets offended on the behalf of others."
– HoarderOfPaper
These are hard "no's."
You Can Bet Your Life On It
"a serial killer."
– LongjumpingReturn555
All Creatures Great And Small
"Someone who doesn't like animals."
– InterestingMall8958
It's complicated to categorize exactly the kind of person I would prefer to not to be friends with, but I know that one of my biggest pet peeves that can jeopardize how much effort I put into all kinds of relationships is a person's lack of punctuality.
It says a lot about an individual who is perpetually late outside of an acceptable window between 5 and 15 mins–with a heads up about their tardiness.
If they're always punctual in regards to work obligations and business meetings but very late to meeting up with you for a coffee date, you're clearly not important enough for them to make an effort to avoid keeping you waiting.
And I got no time for that.
There are numerous advantages to being bilingual.
Knowing the language of the country you may be traveling to, being able to translate for those who need help, not to mention, knowing what some people might be saying as they are literally talking behind your back.
Indeed, many people wish they could be fluent in at least one other language.
Though these same people likely also wonder, how exactly does the brain of a bilingual person work?
How easy is it to jump between multiple languages?
Is it really as easy as it looks to jump between languages?
"Bilingual people, what is a thing that non-bilingual will never understand?"
They All Blend Together
"The fact that I no longer 'translate' in my head when I use my second language."
"The fact that I can be unaware which language I am reading."
"I have a bit of a stutter in one language but not the other."
"Jokes that work in both languages are the funniest."- Mortlach78
"Speaking two languages at the same time."
"Usually because you forget certain words in one language but remember it in the other or because a word is easier to say."
"'Je n’ai aucune idée what the f*ck you’re talking about'.”- ctwheels
There's Not A Word For Everything
"Literal translations rarely work."
"A lot of monolingual people seem to think other languages are like their language but with other words, and every word as an equivalent."- TheAmazingKoki
Knowing The Language Doesn't Mean They'll Understand You
"Having an 'accent' regardless of which language you're speaking."
"Learning a language allows you to feel better understood as we interact and build connections with others."
"So it's frustrating when you feel as though you're not communicating as clearly as you would like to express yourself. It's been great to feel understood!"
"I've enjoyed reading through the comments and learning that there's a lot of people that are actively becoming multicultural."- Silv3r_lite
Less Gets Lost In Translation Than You Think...
"Translating is a whole different skill than speaking another language."
"When I first learnt English, I would translate things in my head to understand them."
"As I became fluent, I stopped doing that because I didn't need to."
"When someone speaks to me in English, I don't translate stuff in my head back to french to understand them, I just automatically understand it."
"Cue to if someone speaks English, and another person doesn't, and ask me 'hey, can you translate what he said ?'"
"I completely suck at it, I can ultimately do it but it means I need to take what was said in English, and reprocess it in French and find the most adequate words for translation and it's honestly not that easy to do."- Matrozi
Words, Words, Words
"How near-impossible it is to translate words when there is only one word for something in one language but multiple variants of it in another."
"For instance, the word 'cousin' in English is just 'cousin', but there are eight different words for cousin in Chinese, all extremely specific."
'Older male on maternal side, older female on maternal side, younger male on maternal side, younger female on maternal side, older male on paternal side, older female on paternal side, younger male on paternal side, and younger female on paternal side."
"There is no general cover-all term for 'cousin'."
"So when an English speaker says, 'I was having dinner with my cousin last week', how do you translate that into Chinese, for a Chinese audience, without knowing which of the 8 cousin categories it falls into?"
"It creates a '404 Error: Cannot Compute' in the interpreter's brain."
"If you are ever giving a speech in English to a Chinese audience and want to see a look of crazed terror on your interpreter's face, just use the word 'cousin' and watch the panic and despair unfold."
"Was an interpreter."- SteadfastEnd
There's No Simple One And Done
"That the way language is constructed is not straightforward."
"It's not just a different set of words and rules of grammar, it's kind of a whole different way of processing thoughts into speech."- Peanut_Butter_32
It Ain't As Easy As It Looks
"Real-time translation takes a LOT of mental energy."- selfawarescreen
What's The Word?
"Brain fog, when asked to translate, at a critical vocabulary moment."
"You need that one word to make the perfect translation."
"But it is not there."- toyoung
Forgetting Your Native Tongue
"Forgetting words from your native language if you are using the second language too much."
"I have lost count of how many times I knew what I wanted to say in any other language, yet I forgot how to say it on my own native language."
"I end up remembering them later on anyways, but it is such an embarrassing feeling."
" Also, another little thing."
"Accidentally switching languages in the middle of a conversation."
"I may be talking to someone in English, and when I didn't understand something, I would be like 'Qué?'(What? In Spanish), all without even thinking about what I did until I realize that I spoke in Spanish by mistake."
"It's not really common for it to happen, but I do remember each and every single time it does."- AruPeachy
"When some word only comes to mind in another language, and you just can't remember what that word is in your native tongue."- Acceptable-Damage43
Not All Sayings Are Universal
"The struggle of explaining / understanding sayings."
"Americans use a lot of sayings like “'et’s play it by ear', and in Spanish we also have sayings that don’t quite translate."
"Also when I’m too excited/ angry etc my brain switches to my native language and can’t quite express myself correctly the other language."- immigrantme
Humor Isn't Universal
"Some jokes make no sense in other languages."- Dukanduu
The Emotion Behind What You're Saying
"You have different personalities based on the language you’re currently speaking, and your native language has emotional ties that aren’t always present in other spoken languages."- P-Wizzl
One needs a fairly active brain to be successfully bilingual.
Though, one can only imagine that internally worrying about your everyday problems in French would likely make them seem a little more romantic.
"Qui sait?"
People Divulge The Real Reason 'That One Guy' Hasn't Been Fired From Their Job Yet
Much as we might try to deny it, who hasn't found themselves dealing with one of "those colleagues" at work?
The sort of colleague where work gets done in spite of them, who doesn't seem to possess any of the basic qualifications their position requires, who uses up all their paid sick days at the very beginning of the calendar year.
The kind of employee where we're often left wondering, "how did they get that job?"
Then, when we actually do a little digging, we might learn the answer to that very question.
Often resulting in our making a surprising, if not downright humbling, discovery.
"Why hasn’t that “one guy” at your job been fired yet?"
Unfortunate Timing
"He ended up leaving work the day management was going to talk to him about his behavior and got into a severe motorcycle accident."- eatsbrainz
Just Not Possible
"Cuz he’s the boss."- Hotline-Furi
A Little Manipulation Goes A Long Way
"Because his supervisor is in love with him."
"He’s 'charming, charismatic, and everyone loves him'."
"He’s really close to the manager and his mom used to work for the company as well."
"She left a path for him to walk on."
"As my co worker once said, 'he harasses us but gets rewards'.”
Happy Penn Badgley GIF by LifetimeGiphy"If you were ever to meet him, he makes you feel like you’re the king of the world but he’s really scummy."
"He’ll make you believe you’re incredible and valuable but will talk sh*t about you to other people."
"It’s a shame because he’s taken advantage of a lot people and a lot of things at work."
"I thought he was the coolest guy around until I started observe him and his demeanor around others."- Low_Excitement_5339·
A Sign Of The Times
"We are so short-staffed and ratios need to be met in classrooms."
"A body is better than no body, in the eyes of admin at least."
"Some days I'd rather work short-handed than work around a useless/annoying person."
"I end up doing their job anyway."- quietly_anxious
Just The Way Things Are...
'Office politics."- defensiveminded2020
Bored Season 3 GIF by The OfficeGiphy...Rather Not Answer...
"What if that one guy is you?"- dizzyrazor
Nepotism
"Because he goes to my boss's church."
"My boss has somehow hired at least 8 people from his church."- SparklesLuvsScotch
"She’s the boss's daughter."
"In the past 6 months, they have hired over 100 people, 3 of them are still working there."
"Every one of them quit because of her and very outwardly expressed that but no one will fire her."- Reddit
Veronica Lodge Daddy GIF by Camila MendesGiphyDo We Really Want Them To Get Fired?
"The one guy at my job just got fired 3 days ago, after years of doing nothing."
"Now I can't use his continued employment as my assurance of job security."- i_make_potholes
Who Knows?
"I legitimately don't know."
"I've been sending my bosses emails about her dropping the ball on many things and even causing several catastrophic failures for our customers."
"They promise me they are documenting everything and to be patient but my boss has his head in the sand and is not really doing anything."
"I think it's catching up to him though because corporate is starting to look at this office more closely."- CamStorm
"IDK, he sits and f*cking texts WHEN PEOPLE ARE IN LINE FOR THE REGISTER."
"Pisses me off."- Public_Living_3344
Bored Grocery Store GIF by TravisGiphyCharisma Overshadows Many Flaws
"He’s 'nice' and chatty and gets along really well with our customers."
"He will go into an office, not do anything or make something worse than it was before the repair, bill them hundreds of dollars, someone else will have to go in and fix it right and bill them more, and they’ll still request him."
"They’re actually more likely to complain about the guy who went in and fixed it correctly and would have billed them half as much and been done in trip had they started the job."- makenzie71
Fear Of Feelings Getting Hurt
"Because his boss avoids conflict."
"So we get to deal with the sh*t for brains creeper instead of him being thrown out on his a**."- No-Patient1365
Hopefully, Just A Matter Of Time...
"You don’t get fired for being bad at your job, you get fired for making a scene."- sleekandspicy
Fed Up Reaction GIFGiphyEveryone deserves a second chance.
But if people are incapable, or worse unwilling, to learn, is there really any chance their work will improve?
When "that employee" is your boss, then the question is ultimately irrelevant.
Audiences today are too savvy and unforgiving.
There are so many cinematic aspects that leave so many of us irritated.
And one of the big reasons is that they know they can make them better.
Give me a quick million, you won't be disappointed.
Redditor Ecstatictobehere wanted everyone to vent about everything wrong with movies and Hollywood, so they asked:
"What pisses you off about new movies these days?"
I'm exhausted with the lack of originality.
There are too many talented out there for this.
Turn it down...
Race Fans GIF by Formula 1Giphy"The disparity in volume, explosions are so loud that they hurt and conversations are whispers... I stopped going to the cinema and started waiting for them to be available at any streaming service so I can turn it down or up and so I can enjoy it."
hollowntolerance
LOLs...
"Forced Comedy."
ThorHammerscribe
"I have a bone to pick with comedy in general. I felt that ever since the Anchorman era, we just decided that comedy movies were in the line of sketch comedy."
"Create funny situation, let a comedian riff for 20 minutes, take the best take and move on to next funny situation. Which is why comedy movie plots have SUCKED since the early 2000s."
"Sure I love Kristen Whiig, Will Ferral, John C Reilly, Mellissa McCarthy, etc, but damn, I can't help but think that some comedies that have come out int the last 20 years would be memorable if they wrote a funny script instead of making a 120 min sketch show."
ReferenceError
Appeal
"Most movies are getting watered down for the sake of mass appeal. I get why, but it just sucks."
Apprehensive_Set300
"Some say this is a result of streaming platforms. People used to be able to take risks on movie making because if they didn't do well in theatrical release, there was still a chance for it to become a cult classic and make money with DVD sales down the road. That is no longer an option because everything is streamed for free so now making a movie that doesn't immediately appeal to a large audience is a bad investment."
KrispyKremeDiet20
Lost in Translation
"Not just movies but TV shows - they take a book that's got great reviews, make a poor job of translating it on screen and then flip the ending so it's the opposite of what happened in the book. Proceeds to blame the audience when they pan it for being crap."
MissionSorbet2768
Blah
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Lack of originality and a reliance on franchises."
811545b2-4ff7-4041
Enough with franchises and reboots. Lord.
Some light please!
jerry cant see GIF by HULUGiphy"How dark they are. Like literally dark. It's difficult to see what's going on, especially for those of us with vision problems."
Raloris
Break it Down
"For horror and mystery, everything having to be explained."
"A movie like the original Alien would be lambasted by online critics if it were released today, for the simple reason that by the end of it you know next to nothing about what happened. What was the creature? What was the derelict? Why did the company want it, really? The movie has stood the test of time precisely because it avoided answering those and other questions."
stratarch
Too Much Redo
"The overuse of cover songs. Recently been a lot of classic rock songs covered by an artist who recorded a slowed version of it. Just saw the trailer for the new Ant Man. It also does this."
bromygod203
"This has been bugging me lately. They do it in commercials too. The cover is slowed way down with a melancholic, reverb-heavy voice. Extra points if you take a classic 'happy' song and add minor chords to it so it sounds threatening."
fairygenesta
Too Many Cooks
"A lot of movies feel like they were written by a marketing department. It feels like they got 10 execs in a room and everyone wrote down ideas, characters, plot-points, etc that they know will sell - and then tried to organize them into a narrative structure."
"There's no vision. There's no plot progression. Its just one random event next to another random event, and characters delivering sh*tty one-liners. Like writing madlibs. Even B-movies from the 80's and 90's have better narrative structure and story-telling than half the new movies out today."
Ganglebot
Giveaways
Cybill Shepherd Applause GIF by SHE'S FUNNY THAT WAYGiphy"Trailers. They're always about 4 minutes long, give away the entire plot, show all the best scenes and jokes and basically ruin the movie before you've even watched it."
IJustStoleYourWaifu
Do better filmmakers.
We're watching. Sadly...