In the immortal words of Ms. Britney Spears.... "You're toxic. I'm slippin' under!" We all have wasted precious amounts of our lives on people who didn't deserve it. Most of the time we can't see right away the poison that festers in their souls. And sometimes we care too deeply and just think, they'll change, and that almost NEVER happens. You have to do you first and rid yourself of the toxic!
Redditor u/Zombi3Bait wanted to spread the word on the best ways to clean house at life by asking... People who have had really crappy friends. When did you realize that you shouldn't be around them?
You're Mine!
GiphyLooking back all the signs were there, but the final straw was when she started picking on my friends instead of just me. She couldn't stand that I was making friends other than her.
Also I was talking to a former teacher who had taught both of us and I said I wasn't as close to her as I had once been and the woman looked me straight in the eyes and said "good. keep it that way."SunflowerSupreme
One Down!
When I realized I didn't want to share good news with them because they wouldn't be happy for me. Complicated-Captcha
Or they always try to "one up" you on sharing good news or story telling. Never asking follow up questions to your announcement. Aylongfortheride
Oh hell no!
GiphyThey put alcohol in my drink after 14 months off drinking because they thought I was becoming boring. I was trying to quit because of addiction. kobemiller
There is a particular place in hell for those kind of people. Good job of you keeping your addiction at bay. Reddit
War and Peace.....
I realized we argued all the time, and not about actual stuff in our lives, but all this petty nonsense. Like, is this movie good, or politics or what's the definition of a sandwich.
I think that those guys just never learned in have a real conversation. All they knew was having a different opinion and arguing about it. And the thing was, they didn't even like to "win" the argument because then it was over. And they'd just keep finding new topics to argue about, and take more and more extreme positions to get people to argue with them.
So being around them was frigging exhausting. I just want to talk to you, not have to defend a position.PM_ME_UR_Definitions
It's My Party...
They threw a massive party on my birthday, for someone else's half birthday. They invited almost everyone I knew but me because "we know you'd probably want to do something for your birthday."
I just kinda cut contact with all of them, allowed myself to be a loner for a while. This year, my news friends are taking me to Amsterdam for my birthday! pollywantsareddit
F U Megan!
GiphyMy "best friend" from high school knew my fiancé was cheating on me and having unprotected sex with strange men and didn't tell me. I only found out because I broke up with him for other (very valid) reasons and "Best Friend's" boyfriends little sister was around when I was talking about it.
I said something along the lines of "I'm sad cause I thought we had something. I was his first. At least he didn't cheat on me."
To which the little sister scoffed and got a "Shut the f**k up" look from my friend.
I dragged it out of her eventually, but yeah. She knew he lied about never having been with anyone else and that he was cheating on me. In fact, all his friends and mine knew. And no one told me. But I was especially pissed at her. I moved 6 hours away two weeks later and haven't spoken to any of them since.
F**k you, Meagan. charlottedhouse
Lonely is better!
When they'd constantly make plans in front of me, but told me I couldn't go with them. I knew I should've stopped hanging out with them, but I didn't have anyone else. TRHtimmy
Betrayal!
When she made plans with me and another friend, but then canceled them with me and I found out 2 days later that she still went with our other friend. That was the straw that broke the camels back for our friendship. I immediately blocked/deleted her on all social media and cut off contact. It was actually such a relief to not have to work to keep the friendship going. GarshCT
Don't Need Them!
GiphyI asked everyone in my friend group if they were going to homecoming, every one of them said no.
Me and my boyfriend went alone, decided to take some pictures before the dance at a popular place in town. Saw every one of them, without me, walking into a restaurant in their nice dresses and tuxedos. I haven't spoken to them since.lavaflow666
Some people have no soul...
One day I took acid. He got jealous and intentionally tried to make me have a bad trip. Months down the line I confronted him about it and his words were "I thought about how wrong that was but I didn't care."
Since then I don't care about him. PM_ME_UR_LAST_DREAM
No Apologies....
The apologies really didn't seem genuine tbh - it seemed like they saw on social media how much better my life had gotten without them. After all of the manipulative crap they pulled on me and the horrible things they said to my face and behind my back, there was simply no way I could trust any of them again. That's exactly what I told one of them. She didn't even really apologize, she just said she'd changed. I told her I was happy that she was working on becoming a better person, but there was no way I could allow her back into my life after everything that had happened. I trusted my gut and have absolutely zero guilt about my decision. The damage was already done. I don't need apologies from them, I just need them to go on with their lives and leave me alone. beyourownwindkeeper
Making our own choices....
GiphyWhen I was harassed for not responding to a text message within 15 minutes and thus blamed for the fact that a friend had self-harmed again. crystallolivia
OMG! Grow up!
I've known them since I was 5 so nearly 20 years now. We have all grown up and aren't the teens we were. We all have had different sized barriers come up against us and not all of us are flawless after them.
I sadly have realized that some of them aren't worth the stress they put out into the world and onto me. There is fakeness there too and it's not worth being around that much. We are adults now and I don't need cliques and gossip.
I still am around them but I'm glad we are now one of those "omg we have to plan a dinner or night out soon!" And never do. freddie_delfigalo
Thou Shalt not be a Thief!
We moved in together as roommates, and slowly, the narcissistic traits started to reveal themselves. Pretty early on I started to suspect she was stealing from me. Then came the lies. She believes she is superior to others and values her own time and energy more. She fobs off her responsibilities onto others, and if challenged on any of this behavior, she either stonewalls or she plays the victim, accusing others of bullying. In hindsight, I realized that every nice thing she had ever done was for her own gain. I'm moving out this weekend and I could not be more glad to be rid of her. tw231116
Sick to my Stomach!
GiphyWhen I dreaded coming to school the next day and having to interact with her. She just made me feel terrible about myself and always tried to make up for it, but I can't pretend like everything is ok again. chaoticsynthetic
People be crazy!
When she asked me to abort my baby so she could heal from her child passing the year before. I waited til I was 5 months along to hesitantly and delicately share with her And she complained to my parents I was being selfish to keep it.. seeing as we are good friends and i should be sad with her. We live about 8 hrs away from each other. so no way she would have known, however mutual friends would know and I figured it'd be awful if she found out through them while I pretended I'm not having a huge change in my life. That's super deceitful. There were other things over the course of our 15 yr "friendship" that were hurtful and mean towards me but that was the last straw. Suzette243
Red Flag Waving....
When they wouldn't bother to text me back, organize to hang out with me, or bother to make an effort to sit next to me when we took the train together every morning. I realized my best friend of 8 years turned into a self-centered person that hated me because my other friend decided to talk about me behind my back and everyone believed her. Read the red flags and don't be blinded. Love and friendship does such stupid stuff to you 😔 emmypoos
Not Good Company...
GiphyWhen I was hit by a car, broke lots of stuff and was bed-bound for half a year. Nobody checked in how I was doing and I got 1 visitor in that 7 months.
Up till that point I assumed these people I hung out with every day for the past three years were my friends, but it turned out to just be a group of people that smoke weed together every day. Intergalaktica
Pinch me and I'll Punch you!
We worked out together a handful of times. The last time we did, she pinched the roll of fat above my sports bra and said, "aw. we'll get you there." Cut her out pretty quickly. ginfizzzzz8008
?!?!?!?! who thinks that kind of thing is okay? Wow... whereismydragon
$$$ Changes Everything!
When over a short period of time they came into huge money and did not realize that I was not on the same level with them anymore. Suddenly, overnight decisions to fly to NYC for a week was a thing, or going on expensive NYE parties in Thailand, and were surprised when I refused. It drained me financially in the first year or so, then it became impossible to keep up with merely a quarter of what they were up to. Inevitably, we went our separate ways overnight basically.
We've all had those friends, we may even have been those friends at one point. How did y'all get rid of the toxic mess in your lives?
- People Share The Most Desperately Lonely Thing They've Ever Done - George Takei ›
- People Disclose Their Own Most Toxic Traits - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.