In the immortal words of Ms. Britney Spears.... "You're toxic. I'm slippin' under!" We all have wasted precious amounts of our lives on people who didn't deserve it. Most of the time we can't see right away the poison that festers in their souls. And sometimes we care too deeply and just think, they'll change, and that almost NEVER happens. You have to do you first and rid yourself of the toxic!
Redditor u/Zombi3Bait wanted to spread the word on the best ways to clean house at life by asking... People who have had really crappy friends. When did you realize that you shouldn't be around them?
You're Mine!
GiphyLooking back all the signs were there, but the final straw was when she started picking on my friends instead of just me. She couldn't stand that I was making friends other than her.
Also I was talking to a former teacher who had taught both of us and I said I wasn't as close to her as I had once been and the woman looked me straight in the eyes and said "good. keep it that way."SunflowerSupreme
One Down!
When I realized I didn't want to share good news with them because they wouldn't be happy for me. Complicated-Captcha
Or they always try to "one up" you on sharing good news or story telling. Never asking follow up questions to your announcement. Aylongfortheride
Oh hell no!
GiphyThey put alcohol in my drink after 14 months off drinking because they thought I was becoming boring. I was trying to quit because of addiction. kobemiller
There is a particular place in hell for those kind of people. Good job of you keeping your addiction at bay. Reddit
War and Peace.....
I realized we argued all the time, and not about actual stuff in our lives, but all this petty nonsense. Like, is this movie good, or politics or what's the definition of a sandwich.
I think that those guys just never learned in have a real conversation. All they knew was having a different opinion and arguing about it. And the thing was, they didn't even like to "win" the argument because then it was over. And they'd just keep finding new topics to argue about, and take more and more extreme positions to get people to argue with them.
So being around them was frigging exhausting. I just want to talk to you, not have to defend a position.PM_ME_UR_Definitions
It's My Party...
They threw a massive party on my birthday, for someone else's half birthday. They invited almost everyone I knew but me because "we know you'd probably want to do something for your birthday."
I just kinda cut contact with all of them, allowed myself to be a loner for a while. This year, my news friends are taking me to Amsterdam for my birthday! pollywantsareddit
F U Megan!
GiphyMy "best friend" from high school knew my fiancé was cheating on me and having unprotected sex with strange men and didn't tell me. I only found out because I broke up with him for other (very valid) reasons and "Best Friend's" boyfriends little sister was around when I was talking about it.
I said something along the lines of "I'm sad cause I thought we had something. I was his first. At least he didn't cheat on me."
To which the little sister scoffed and got a "Shut the f**k up" look from my friend.
I dragged it out of her eventually, but yeah. She knew he lied about never having been with anyone else and that he was cheating on me. In fact, all his friends and mine knew. And no one told me. But I was especially pissed at her. I moved 6 hours away two weeks later and haven't spoken to any of them since.
F**k you, Meagan. charlottedhouse
Lonely is better!
When they'd constantly make plans in front of me, but told me I couldn't go with them. I knew I should've stopped hanging out with them, but I didn't have anyone else. TRHtimmy
Betrayal!
When she made plans with me and another friend, but then canceled them with me and I found out 2 days later that she still went with our other friend. That was the straw that broke the camels back for our friendship. I immediately blocked/deleted her on all social media and cut off contact. It was actually such a relief to not have to work to keep the friendship going. GarshCT
Don't Need Them!
GiphyI asked everyone in my friend group if they were going to homecoming, every one of them said no.
Me and my boyfriend went alone, decided to take some pictures before the dance at a popular place in town. Saw every one of them, without me, walking into a restaurant in their nice dresses and tuxedos. I haven't spoken to them since.lavaflow666
Some people have no soul...
One day I took acid. He got jealous and intentionally tried to make me have a bad trip. Months down the line I confronted him about it and his words were "I thought about how wrong that was but I didn't care."
Since then I don't care about him. PM_ME_UR_LAST_DREAM
No Apologies....
The apologies really didn't seem genuine tbh - it seemed like they saw on social media how much better my life had gotten without them. After all of the manipulative crap they pulled on me and the horrible things they said to my face and behind my back, there was simply no way I could trust any of them again. That's exactly what I told one of them. She didn't even really apologize, she just said she'd changed. I told her I was happy that she was working on becoming a better person, but there was no way I could allow her back into my life after everything that had happened. I trusted my gut and have absolutely zero guilt about my decision. The damage was already done. I don't need apologies from them, I just need them to go on with their lives and leave me alone. beyourownwindkeeper
Making our own choices....
GiphyWhen I was harassed for not responding to a text message within 15 minutes and thus blamed for the fact that a friend had self-harmed again. crystallolivia
OMG! Grow up!
I've known them since I was 5 so nearly 20 years now. We have all grown up and aren't the teens we were. We all have had different sized barriers come up against us and not all of us are flawless after them.
I sadly have realized that some of them aren't worth the stress they put out into the world and onto me. There is fakeness there too and it's not worth being around that much. We are adults now and I don't need cliques and gossip.
I still am around them but I'm glad we are now one of those "omg we have to plan a dinner or night out soon!" And never do. freddie_delfigalo
Thou Shalt not be a Thief!
We moved in together as roommates, and slowly, the narcissistic traits started to reveal themselves. Pretty early on I started to suspect she was stealing from me. Then came the lies. She believes she is superior to others and values her own time and energy more. She fobs off her responsibilities onto others, and if challenged on any of this behavior, she either stonewalls or she plays the victim, accusing others of bullying. In hindsight, I realized that every nice thing she had ever done was for her own gain. I'm moving out this weekend and I could not be more glad to be rid of her. tw231116
Sick to my Stomach!
GiphyWhen I dreaded coming to school the next day and having to interact with her. She just made me feel terrible about myself and always tried to make up for it, but I can't pretend like everything is ok again. chaoticsynthetic
People be crazy!
When she asked me to abort my baby so she could heal from her child passing the year before. I waited til I was 5 months along to hesitantly and delicately share with her And she complained to my parents I was being selfish to keep it.. seeing as we are good friends and i should be sad with her. We live about 8 hrs away from each other. so no way she would have known, however mutual friends would know and I figured it'd be awful if she found out through them while I pretended I'm not having a huge change in my life. That's super deceitful. There were other things over the course of our 15 yr "friendship" that were hurtful and mean towards me but that was the last straw. Suzette243
Red Flag Waving....
When they wouldn't bother to text me back, organize to hang out with me, or bother to make an effort to sit next to me when we took the train together every morning. I realized my best friend of 8 years turned into a self-centered person that hated me because my other friend decided to talk about me behind my back and everyone believed her. Read the red flags and don't be blinded. Love and friendship does such stupid stuff to you 😔 emmypoos
Not Good Company...
GiphyWhen I was hit by a car, broke lots of stuff and was bed-bound for half a year. Nobody checked in how I was doing and I got 1 visitor in that 7 months.
Up till that point I assumed these people I hung out with every day for the past three years were my friends, but it turned out to just be a group of people that smoke weed together every day. Intergalaktica
Pinch me and I'll Punch you!
We worked out together a handful of times. The last time we did, she pinched the roll of fat above my sports bra and said, "aw. we'll get you there." Cut her out pretty quickly. ginfizzzzz8008
?!?!?!?! who thinks that kind of thing is okay? Wow... whereismydragon
$$$ Changes Everything!
When over a short period of time they came into huge money and did not realize that I was not on the same level with them anymore. Suddenly, overnight decisions to fly to NYC for a week was a thing, or going on expensive NYE parties in Thailand, and were surprised when I refused. It drained me financially in the first year or so, then it became impossible to keep up with merely a quarter of what they were up to. Inevitably, we went our separate ways overnight basically.
We've all had those friends, we may even have been those friends at one point. How did y'all get rid of the toxic mess in your lives?
- People Share The Most Desperately Lonely Thing They've Ever Done - George Takei ›
- People Disclose Their Own Most Toxic Traits - George Takei ›
Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
– catetheway
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
– Gthew
Happier Apart
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
– MoxieHasKnottyBits
No Regrets
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
– throway35885328
Having no communication is the worst part.
Silent Partner
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
– GaiaNatur77
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
– Billielolly
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
– TheRealJackReynolds
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
– spanglesandbambi
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
– kattia12
New Life
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
– MysticalMom7
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
– ro0ibos2
Ouch
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
– YourWordsMatter
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.
Redditor TractorLoving wanted to hear about the things many of us have seen that left us shaken and a bit scared, so they asked:
"What's the most creepy thing you've ever witnessed?"
I've lost track of the number of things that have creeped me out in life.
I barely leave the house.
From the bushes...
the lion king disney GIFGiphy"When I was about 12 I was sleeping on my trampoline with a friend and we heard the bushes move behind us, we flashed our flashlight to the bushes and a mountain lion was laying there stalking us, I have never run so fast in my life."
Fortherecord87
Voices
"Finding my dad dead in his recliner. I swear I heard his voice when the coroner came for his body."
PolesawPolska
"My granddad knocked over my great-grandma's ashes in his car accidentally, and to this day swears he heard her laugh, loud and clear as if she was standing next to him. She had a hugely wicked sense of humor and would have found this (and my very stressed granddad carefully collecting her ashes back into the container before my grandma saw) very funny."
Tanyaaahhh
From the Sea
"When I was serving my time as an engineer in the merchant navy we used to have to clean out what is called 'sea chests;' they're basically big filters for seawater that we would pump in to use as coolant and if the pumps were on when we were dockside we'd find all sorts of things like bottles, fish, crabs etc."
"One day we opened up the chest, pulled out the filter, and immediately saw this gold shiny thing which turned out to be a Rolex watch. Usually, we'd just dump out the filter but with the mitigating circumstances, we went through it thoroughly and found a piece of a shirt with cufflink still attached and last but not least a nicely rotted finger."
"The police ended up closing off the dock and dredging it but never found anything on the end." ~ MarkyBhoy101
Terrified
Watching I See You GIF by TravisGiphy"This guy followed me home. Said he saw me there often and named a few local spots I go to sometimes as places he sees me. It’s been about a year. Never saw him again. I was terrified for a little while for sure."
ewqdsacxziopjklbnm
Stay vigilant out there kids.
People are watching and some of us don't notice.
Back Up Creep
Scared Homer Simpson GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I was in a restaurant years ago on lunch break. At the time I was a very thin 25-year-old woman. There was this big creepy guy sitting there who would NOT stop staring at me from the moment I walked in the door."
"I mean just open face staring without blinking for the entire 15 minutes I was eating several seats away. I asked for a box and left early to get away from him. As I walked out he said, 'You shouldn't be out alone. Someone's going to grab you and steal you away." 100% convinced creepazoid had someone locked up in his basement."
xain_the_idiot
'Youth in need'
"Was working in a restaurant. Nice place. That night we held a charity dinner for a 'youth in need' type of house. The guy representing the house, a worker there, was such a nice and kind man. Every teen there was only saying nice things about him. A good soul, that was giving everything he could for these teens."
"At one point they gave a big check to the charity. I must guess an amount they rarely received. Well under the excitement, that poor man had a cardiac arrest. Dropped there on the stage, cheque in hand. He couldn't be brought back. He died. Seeing this was already bad enough, but the kids everywhere in the restaurant screaming and crying for hours after... haunting."
Agronut
Inside the House
"One random night in middle school I woke up and had the odd feeling that something or someone was present in the house and coming towards my room. I was scared so I closed my eyes to pretend to be asleep. I could faintly hear something come into my room and it felt like someone was standing over me, looking to make sure I was asleep. I laid on my back, eyes shut, until the feeling passed, and ended up falling asleep. I woke up in the morning to find out that our house was robbed."
ThatOtherOtherGuy3
There in lies the rub...
"Well dressed 50 something business dude on a quiet Chicago L train reading a Wall Street Journal. Pretty woman with long curly hair dozing in the seat in front of him, her hair dangling behind the seat. The guy is rubbing and playing with her hair while reading his paper so I figure she's his wife or girlfriend who just wanted some space to nap."
"He is now intently rubbing and fondling her hair and not reading anymore. Suddenly she snaps awake and pulls in her hair like a bug was in it or something. She gets off at the next stop, he continues reading. They didn't know each other at all."
mtzuker
Why do people feel the need to overshare?
People really need to discuss boundaries.
