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Savage!: The Most Devastating Curse-Free Insults

Reddit user ILikeExistingLol asked: 'What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?'

shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

Divorced People Reveal The Exact Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Over

Reddit user Zealousideal-Ad3609 asked: 'Divorcees of Reddit, when did you know your marriage was over?'

person holding gold wedding band

engin akyurt on Unsplash

In 2022, a reported 2,132,853 couples in the United States vowed to remain together until death.

But as of that same year, 41% of first marriages were ending in divorce.

And if a person walked down the aisle again?

Well, 60% of second marriages ended in divorce and a whopping 73% of third marriages didn't last.

The five leading factors cited in divorces in 2022 were:

  • lack of commitment - 75%
  • infidelity - 59.6%
  • too much conflict - 57.5%
  • married too young - 45.1%
  • money problems - 36.1%

So how do couples get from "happily ever after" to "get thee from my sight"? And when did they know it was time to call it quits?

Keep reading...Show less
person looking shocked
Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

We all have those moments when we want to have the perfect comeback, but we draw a complete blank.

Until three days later when we have an epiphany about what we should have said.

Well, maybe these bons mots can put some weapons in your arsenal.

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When it comes to insults, clever is better.

Anyone can go the obvious route of simply calling out a person's physical appearance or intellectual capacity.

But if you really want to be remembered, you've got to be creative.

The playwright William Shakespeare was fond of clever insults.

And Ballroom culture made reading and shade into artforms.

reading challenge GIFGiphy


Keep reading...Show less
young woman sitting on stairs
Photo by Leila de Haan on Unsplash

Insults are almost never necessary or called for, particularly directly to someone's face, in front of a whole crowd of people.

Even so, sometimes when a truly brutal insult is thrown at you, you can't help but appreciate it just a little bit.

Whether or not this was something this conversational bully came up with on the fly, or was waiting days, weeks, months or years to unleash on you, clever word choice is hard to ignore and not appreciate.

Including when the tables are turned, and you've come up with something wickedly clever, if not at all nice, to unfurl on someone you're conversing with.

Keep reading...Show less