It's pretty typical to want to impress people, especially if it's the first time meeting them, but some folks go out of their way to make it seem like they're superior. Sometimes their attempts fall flat, and sometimes they do exactly the opposite of what was intended.
Reddit user u/noteprocupes asked:
20.
Giphy
I'm convinced people dart in and out of traffic thinking they're "beating the system" and they congratulate themselves on being efficient. In reality, they've saved no significant amount of time and came out looking like an uneducated a*shole.
Those are the people that slow traffic down by causing everyone else to hit their brakes. Lots of lane changes are a huge cause of traffic.
19.
Hating anything that's "popular" just because it's popular. Trying too hard to come across as sophisticated, edgy, and "better."
I just genuinely don't like that many popular things and I hate it when people are like "haha yea, how can you like that garbage?"
Like, dude, just because I don't enjoy it doesn't mean it's bad?
18.
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Answer questions on the spot.
It's ok to say "I don't know" or "let me do some research and get back to you on that one".
Getting comfortable with that really changed my career for the better because I was killing myself with anxiety when I didn't have answers or making dumb mistakes when i tried to have an answer for everything off the cuff.
17.
Diagnose every person involved in a spat on r/AITA and r/relationships as narcissists without knowing what that actually means.
Okay so it's not just me. I noticed EVERY SINGLE PERSON who is a jerk is labeled a narcissist and I don't get it. Is that the new buzzword for sh**ty person?
16.
"Do you even listen to (band you're wearing a shirt of)?"
Yes. Why would I wear a Pink Floyd shirt if I don't like Pink Floyd?
Also, "name 3 (band on shirt) songs."
If they can, congratulations. You look like a jerk.
15.
This guy at work likes to stand up at his desk and practice his martial arts. Always talks about how if someone were to attack him how he would defend himself in the situation and take him down. With specifics. Gah its annoying.
14.
My favorite are the "teacher please notice I read this book/article not on the syllabus but kind of relevant to the class" questions.
Especially since most of the time the professor doesn't have much of a response beyond acknowledging the connection. I took a yearlong intensive business program and this one kiss-*ss managed to bring up a book that was mentioned during orientation in just about every class the whole year.
13.
Use extra long, endlessly winding sentences and niche jargon.
I can't remember how many students I had to tell, that no, writing sentences which hardly anyone can follow and use words which are super specific and hardly anyone knows, does not make you seem clever or smart, let alone educated or intelligent. It makes you look like an idiot who has no idea what they are talking about, since they can't find the words to make other people understand the issue.
12.
I really really hate when people show up late to lecture, sit in the front, then start answering questions the professor is asking just by rewording what they said.
10.
Using "buzz" words when talking about something they know little or nothing about. I got the blue screen of death and one of my friends told me it was because of my isp, or could be my bandwidth. Do you even know what isp stands for?
Oh man, I do tech work for fire alarm panels and I had a coworker that managed the accounts but knew nothing about the tech side. That's fine, it's not her job to know the tech, but she didn't like to admit it and would call and try to ask me questions using a bunch of industry related words she'd heard me use but didn't understand and it would just be a mishmash of incomprehensible gibberish.
To give you an idea, imagine it's a pizza shop and a customer calls to complain about a cold pizza. She calls me up since I made the pizza and says "Hey the customer said their pizza was cold, do you think the mozzarella might have caused the oven to crust over from anchovies being topped from the parmesan bell peppers with olives being cut?"
9.
You'll never look bad for saying "who" when you mean "whom".
You'll always look bad for saying "whom" when you mean "who".
Likewise, "its" instead of "it's" is really easy to overlook, but the reverse sticks out like a sore thumb.
8.
Correcting everything and everyone in the smallest things. It's just annoying. Even worse how they get offended when someone corrects them.
7.
Giphy
Berate you for not understanding a joke or phrase—and refusing to explain it, because they obviously don't get it either.
Ah, the ole, I am going to tell you this joke to see how you respond and hope that you say the punchline so I finally get it routine.
We have a serious problem with this on my team at work (IT-related job). We are a small group, only 5 people plus my supervisor. We have two people that constantly do this. I read an article about how to combat when people constantly talk over you because I was so worn out over it. They mentioned that it's usually best to stop talking, wait until they're finished then say, "as I was saying before..." It has helped tremendously with one of the over-talkers. Fingers crossed that the other will become more self-aware.
5.
When you say, "Hey I didn't know this, but shortbread cookies don't have eggs in them," and the other person says, "You didn't KNOW shortbread cookies don't have eggs in them?!" "No Karen, that's why I started that sentence with, Hey I didn't know this." Maybe it's more specific to me....
Omg guys, look at this utter doofus who at one point didn't know something which he then learnt and knew afterwards. How embarrassing must that be!?
4.
Weave in and out of traffic only to wind up no further ahead.
I always laugh when someone weaves like they are in fast and furious, and then I catch up to them at the next light.
3.
Pretend to be informed about and insist on having an opinion about anything and everything: above all, a total refusal to ever employ the expressions 'I don't know', or 'Please explain.'
This instantly marks you out as an essentially uneducated person. Well-educated people know, above all else, what they do not know, and they have no compunction whatever about admitting what they don't know-- implicitly, because they know that an admission of ignorance is the surest way to remedy it, and have confidence that they can understand and learn about basically anything, given time.
Know-it-alls are almost invariably covering up for their own intellectual insecurities, while effectively putting them on full display.
2.
Steering conversations towards their area of expertise.
I just asked if you saw Endgame, how are we talking about the Russian boycott of the 1984 Olympics?
1.
Be contrarian or negative about absolutely EVERYTHING. It's ok to have a negative opinion about something, but some people just love to argue for no reason other than to seem like they're smart.
Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
Professor burn…
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashot
Series 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
Bob Dylan…
“Bob Dylan: One day, I wish you'd be in my shoes, so you could know... what a drag it is to see you.” WhatDaufuskie
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
Firefly insults…
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
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Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
What The Body Does With Food
"Digestive system."
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
Fighting Gravity
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
Look, See
"eyesight."
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
See, Hear
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
Deaf GIF by memecandyGiphyThe degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
Counting Sheep
"The ability to sleep through the night."
– dabuku1
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
Maintaining Friendships
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
– cowanon7
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.