We can't always be perfect at everything. Now there are a few of us that are masters at all of life, but we're a rare breed. It's best to take your flaws in stride. Our flaws are part of the recipe that makes each person unique. It's ok to get an A- ... you're not lacking in anyway. So laugh when you fall, get up try again, and fall. There is too much darkness already, laugh it up!
Redditor u/cappuccinooww was hoping everyone out there would be willing to share a few tidbits about themselves that brings about no shame, by inquiring.... What are you hilariously bad at?Wrapped.
dog spinning GIFGiphyWrapping gifts. It looks like an angry drunk person's attempt every time.
Unparalleled
If you watched me try to parallel park, you'd be convinced I was screwing with you. I don't even come close. And I'm trying really hard.
I'm 45 and I haven't parallel parked since my driving test when I was 16. I avoid it like the plague.
Next Word
Spelling. My goal is to spell a word, not correctly, but correctly enough so that the predictive text can figure it out, and can show me the real spelling of the word. I often fail even at that though, so my last resort is always Google.
I definitely don't have dyslexia and I have this problem all the time with most words even slightly outside "common daily use." You get the point.
The way I've always seen it, spelling for me has been like handwriting (hated that class in grade school). I know I'm not great at it, but 1) it's too inconsequential to me -- especially given modern assisting technologies like spellcheckers and 2) I'm honestly just too lazy to learn the wealth of words I need to spell correctly when I can just solve the immediate problem in a short second or two.
We Can Learn.
Black And White Parasite GIF by Madman FilmsGiphyClosing pizza boxes.
Go work at a pizza place. You'll learn pretty damn quick haha. I couldn't close one either until I worked at Pizza Hut for three years.
Awkward...
Talking to people I don't know.
I used to be uncomfortable talking to new people, but then I spent a few years working retail. Working register forced me to interact with hundreds of people every day.
Now I work in local news and have to meet and work closely with new people almost every day.
I'm still awkward as hell, but I'm less uncomfortable!
Unsnapped....
Under threat of death I still wouldn't be able to whistle. I've read the tips, I've practiced, I'm still basically just spitting or forcefully breathing through pursed lips with no noise at all.
Same. I honestly don't understand the science behind what makes a whistle. Maybe I haven't watched enough videos.
I also can't snap my fingers.
unrecognizable...
Recognize people in different environment.
Edit : Since so many upvotes, I will share a little story (I think I'm face blind)
Usually I grow a big beard once a year or so. A couple of years ago my friend had this majestic beard. I felt that it was awesome so I decided to pump it up by growing for 5-6 months. When I shaved it of I started to laugh because I couldn't remember how I looked.
just one eye
katy perry wink GIFGiphyWinking. I CANNOT wink for the life of me. My friends are constantly harassing me for my inability to wink. It's awful. Why can so many people just shut one eye?! It seems so simple, yet I just CAN'T.
Strike a.... NO
Posing for pictures. When I smile, it looks like there's a gun being pointed at me behind the camera. I just don't understand how photogenic people exist.
Step 1-2-3
dance dancing GIFGiphyDancing. I genuinely cannot coordinate my body to do it.
Same here. No matter what I do/how I move I always feel like that I'm doing that stereotypical 'white guy dance' or worse.... I look like one of those inflatable tube guys.
I lIke You
Flirting
I am so bad at it when I'm trying. I'm such an awkward person. I'm good at it (as in I don't realize I'm doing it) when I'm not trying.
I personally define flirting as saying things that can be taken as romantic hints or that rise up sexual tension (if there is anything like that).
Than again, I'm still a virgin, so maybe taking flirting advice from me isn't a good idea.
And you are?
Jack Nicholson Reaction GIFGiphyRemembering names. I don't know why but I can't remember names. I've forgotten names of people I've known for years and talk to them regularly.
I Ruin It
Telling jokes. I always tell the punch line too soon or bastardize it in such a way that it's no longer funny. The hubs always gives me grief.
Same! And stories. I can't tell stories for crap. I'm working on it, because being able to tell a succinct story actually helps me do my job but I usually make my boyfriend tell our mutual stories or get other people in the story to jump-in because if I tell it I'll ramble or ruin it by laughing before it's time -.-"
No Hugs
scared jimmy fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyComforting or consoling a crying friend.
I get so uncomfortable around upset people. I don't ever know what to say or do.
The weird thing is that I'm an emotional person myself. I cry easy. I just cannot deal with other people crying.
Is that today?
Remembering dates, even my own birthday.
Lmao same I don't know anyone's birthday altho I do know my own. The most accurate thing I can remember is maybe the month of the birthday, remembering the days is asking too much.
To the BBQ....
Small talk.
It's easy to do, utterly useless skill but really easy. Mention something generic like "Weather's pretty good/crap, right?" during a moment where it's quiet and wait for the response. If they ramble on, it's obvious they're an extrovert so pick up on one of the topics they talk about and follow it through, you'll usually build up a conversation by itself doing that. Something like "Ha, yeah. I was supposed to be having a BBQ tonight but looks like that's not happening now." You can reply "God, yeah I could really go for BBQ right now. I'd kill for some hot wings." However, if they say something like "Yeah, heh..." don't bother probing anymore as either a) they're an introvert b) they're miserable and have no intention of small-talk.
If it sounds too simple, it's because it is.
Lost in Space
Finding my keys, wallet, and phone right before I have to leave.
My husband has this problem too!
I have the strange superpower to find anything within 5 minutes/just know where whatever he's looking for is; we make a great team lol.
Keep Paddling
Swimming. I look like a hopelessly drunk emu flapping about like it's having a seizure.
As long as you can keep yourself afloat and are comfortable, who cares how fast you swim. I wish everyone could learn basic swimming at an early age. Not everyone needs to be on the swim team, but just being able to stay calm and get to the side of the pool or swim to shore it would save a lot of needless drownings.
Shut Up
mic singing GIFGiphySinging LMAO.
I was at a Christmas party one time when I was a kid, and we started caroling. My singing was so bad I was asked to stop caroling. :(
Always Askew
Drawing straight lines ~ damn it.
Hey! I used to suck at drawing straight lines until I took an engineering drafting class. The thing imo that helped me the most was looking at where you wanted the pencil to end up, not looking at where the pencil is.
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When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
Dream On...
"She said:'
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMint
falling GIFGiphyBecause ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"Ear wax."
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196
Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphyIn Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40
Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyIgnorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
If Only...
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck
season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphyWhen people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?