Aging is DOPE, y'all.
I know we were all sold this idea that youth was where it's at, but trust me—we were lied to.
There is something so freeing about aging, and I'm not about to let anyone lie to the young'uns about that anymore.
The best part, BY FAR, is the way that all your f*cks just seem to just evaporate into the breeze like seawater, leaving behind only salt.
So much salt.
It's awesome.
Reddit user Gourmet-Guy asked:
"What gets less important the older you get?"
Listen folks, there are so many things you get to no longer care about when you get older that it's honestly kind of exciting.
I'm sincerely looking forward to bring one of those fearless old ladies who beats up criminals with their ridiculously giant purse, or has deadly chancla aim even though she's been blind and deaf for 5 years. You'd better believe she turns into some sort of mystic seer when you put a flip flop in her hand, though.
She gives so few f*cks about anything that her mind is clear and she can be one with the universe. Just guided by the spirit of chancletazos...
That's where I'm trying to be, but I'm not there yet. I know because I still sort of care about one or two things on this list.
Do You Like Me?
"Being liked."
"I find that the older I get, the less random acquaintances like me; but the more my friends and loved ones DO like me."
"I stopped trying to be likable and just decided to be me instead."
- brokenhippie91
"Same, also the less friends I need. Just a few good mates that are trustworthy is enough."
- Specialist_Prompt_54
"THIS! And it's crazy how fast a change like this can take place as well."
"I'm a senior in college now. Less than four years ago I was running around trying to befriend as many people as possible just to see what would stick, now I'm pretty happy with my little group."
"A possible downside of this is that meeting new people seems kind of tiring in certain situations, but that's really on a case-by-case basis."
- hammalamamba
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Late Nights
"I used to like staying up late. Now I get excited to go to sleep."
- BjornBeetleBorg
"All of our childhood punishments have become our life goals."
"Going to bed early."
"Not leaving my house. (I pay the mortgage, I'm damn well going to get my money's worth.)"
"Not going to 'that' party."
- throwawayspank1017
"The absolute joy I get going to sleep by 9 so that I can get up at 4am, work out for 1.5 hours and still have so much extra time before I go to work is unparalleled by anything I did when I was young."
- Reality_Gatekeeper
"It's also enjoyable to be up fully rested, properly breakfasted and with chores, exercise or some form of entertainment already behind you while the rest of society groans and fumbles for their alarms."
"There's also a special appeal to the hours when everyone else is still in bed. It's almost like the world is yours for that brief period of time."
- Good_Dog_Almighty
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What's Cooler Than Being Cool?
"Being cool."
"One of the most liberating things about getting older is you can just do your own thing without caring if it's trendy or not."
- DeathSpiral321
"Just started skateboarding again and I'm going full dork mode with a helmet, wrist pads, knee pads, and I plan on getting elbow pads and even hip pads when I start trying to learn to skate on bowls and mini ramps."
- evil_con_carne
"This. I started college quite a bit later than most and was worried that I'd never finish my degree. So I went all in and decided I still wanted a 'normal' college experience, living in the dorms at 25."
"It was so easy to pick out the kids who still clearly cared not only about being cool, but being POPULAR, bless their little hearts..."
"They were all so exhausted."
- Famous-Honey-9331
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Age
"The age of your friends."
"When you're 20, hanging out with a 30-year old is a bit weird. When you're 30, hanging out with 40-year olds is normal."
- DomDeLaweeze
"I have a friend who's the same age as my father. I routinely forget she's not my age cause she's such a cool person."
"Not to say my dad isn't cool. My dad rocks and he's the coolest person I know. But there's always that mentality of wow he's so much older than me because he's my parent."
- TheRedMaiden
"Cuz when we're younger, even a few years makes a huge difference in our thinking."
"Like when you're younger than 20, maybe 15? Even a 5 year old difference, that is, hanging out with a 10 year old is weird."
- Working_Ad168
It's Not All Treasure
"Physical possessions."
"When you're a child, everything you own is a treasure. When you're an adult, it starts turning into junk."
- Sharrakor
"As you get older, only certain things are treasures. And that's only because you get certain joys out of them."
- Anjunagasm
"Exactly this."
"I see physical possessions as something I have to make space for, deal with, and maintain. Honestly it's not worth the energy to have more stuff if I don't need it and absolutely love it."
"Less really is more. Less makes lazy me happier."
- fivesforeveryone
"I am so excited about my stuff! It's not junk because I put thought into all of it and it's all mine. It's also part of getting older."
"I am so jazzed that I bought a new washer and dryer set! I could get whichever one *I* wanted."
"My set needed replaced so I splurged and got a Wi-Fi enabled LG matching set. So happy about it, too!"
- PC509
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Going Out? No Thanks.
"Needing to go out to do stuff. Fireplace, movie, spouse, good movie, comfy couch = happiness."
- angeltati
"I hate going places. God forbid I have to ever stand in a line."
"My wife and I, when we do decide to go somewhere, go on weekdays when it's not as busy. I feel like such a grumpy old man lol."
"I can't wait to be home most of the time that I'm out and about."
- PD216ohio
"This 100%."
"Sit outside at night with a cup of hot chocolate watching the sky. Stay inside and play games or do a puzzle. Reading."
- Electrical-Pie-8192
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As People
"What kinds of cars people drive, what kinds of homes/apts/condos they live in, what brands of clothes they wear, what kinds of new electronic technologies they have . . ."
". . . instead, I care a lot more about how they are as people. "
"Are they kind? Are they honest? Are they interested in the world and making some kind of contribution to it? Are they interesting and true to themselves?"
- RandomInternetLady
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It Works Fine
"Keeping up with new tech and apps."
"I'm at a point where what I already have works fine for what I use it for and I don't care enough to upgrade or learn how the newest thing works."
- PeterBernsteinSucks
"My phone is going on 40 months old (longest I've ever had one last, wish I could get another Note 9 when it dies lol)."
"When I get a new one, it will be top of the line, but only because I don't have the patience for slow stuttering cheap technology. And usually the more you spend, the longer it lasts."
"Beyond that... For status? For bragging rights? For that old itch I used to have for always having the best? None of that drives me anymore."
"Function > form."
- legacyweaver
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Looks
"Looks."
"I'm not being cheesy here: when I was a teenager, you really had to look a certain way for any guy to go out with you. They wouldn't dare to admit that they liked a chubby girl or one without a typical sense of fashion."
"When you get older of course looks still matter, but people are a lot more forgiving! There's a whole wide world out there full of people with different tastes."
"I was so surprised with how easy it was for me to get dates in my twenties."
- DameDrunkenTheTall
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Just A Job
"Work."
"First company I worked there 14 years. Outworked my colleagues, stayed late, worked weekends. Missed family events to 'get ahead.' "
"Never got me a dime more in my paycheck, I never was thought of as a better employee by management than my colleagues who left as soon as they could get out the door."
"Had enough. Found another job, swore I would never work that hard for a company that could care less about me again. Lied to self."
"Second company I worked there 17 years. Outworked my colleagues, stayed late, worked weekends. Missed family events to 'get ahead.' "
"Never got me a dime more in my paycheck, I never was thought of as a better employee by management than my colleagues who left as soon as they could get out the door."
"People I worked with, went to war with, spoke to every single day for years- I never heard from them again after I left."
"Both of these companies replaced me the day I left and never looked back. It was like I was never there."
"The only thing that is important is your family."
"A job is just a job."
- Beths_Titties
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Have you found yourself no longer caring about the stuff on this list?
Or are you still hung up on a few things? What sorts of things have you stopped caring about?
Sound off, folks!
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- People Break Down The Things They're Waiting To Do Until They're Older - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Clear Signs That They're Getting Older - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.