When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.
But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.
And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.
Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:
"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.
Caveat Emptor
"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."
– throwmeawaypoopy
"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"
– MrsMalvora
"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"
– opheliainwaders
Value Of Friendships
"That some friends were never really your friend."
– Kangaroowrangler_02
"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."
– ScienceUnicorn
"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."
"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"
– VoxClarus
"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."
– tomdelfino
"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."
– immorjoe
The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?
Who's Parenting Who
"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."
– Smile_Terrible
"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
About Grieving
"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."
– i_spock
Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In
"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."
– HaloTightens
"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."
– deathschemist
We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.
Aimlessness
"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."
– Borsti17
"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."
– BeautifulMidnight-
Misconception Behind Work Integrity
"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."
– DorianOrosco
And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."
– Puzzleheaded-Job6147
We Are Our Parents
"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."
– tamammothchuk
"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."
– daggerxdarling
Living On Borrowed Time
"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."
"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."
"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."
"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."
"But the meter is running."
– Boudyro
I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.
When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.
As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.
Aging is a reminder that the end is near.
But life is constantly finding ways to expedite the aging process.
So many variables contribute to our looks... it's almost shocking.
Redditor sabletoothtiger_ wanted to hear about the things that can cause us to age rapidly, so they asked:
"What instantly ages someone?"
Weight.
My flipping and flopping with my weight has aged me.
It never gets easier to lose too.
Lack of Sleep
Wide Awake Insomnia GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Lack of sleep."
Yasmin947
"Can confirm. I have an aunt who looks older than my grandmother because she regularly gets 3 hours of sleep a night while my grandmother will fall asleep anywhere."
SCG414
Farewells
"Grief, nothing ages you like Grief."
TheGreatGrappaApe
"My brother died 2 years ago, I aged so much since and now look older than some friends of mine who are 15 years older than me. On top of not sleeping well due to autoimmune issues, I notice new grey hairs every day. Grief, lack of sleep, stress. I have the trio and it's just awful. Losing a sibling is a nightmare, especially at a young age. My deepest sympathies."
ScissorsOfJealousy
Flare-Ups
"Back pain. You can't move like a young person if your back hurts."
AdWonderful5920
"I went from being active and spry to barely able to move and in constant pain. It changed so much about my personality as being active and sporty was a huge part of who I was. I also gained some weight."
"I’m way better now and not in constant pain, but there is always a risk of flare-ups now so while I can exercise and be active, it’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t do it with the carefree attitude I once did."
"I also believe it makes me susceptible to other aches and pains as the nerves all connect so sometimes a flare-up sends pains to other extremities such as my hips or shoulders. If there was one thing I could go back and change in my life, it would be to prevent the back injury."
nononanana
Seemingly Healthy...
"F**king cancer. Have watched my brother-in-law age 30 years in a month."
imapassenger1
"I have been a witness to this many times. '30 years in a month' is an accurate measurement."
WimpyZombie
"This hits close to home. My (seemingly healthy) uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. Within the last two weeks, his body has completely broken down. So sorry for everyone here who has had to see loved ones go through this."
JosjeAB
"My mom had breast cancer (in her 50’s) like 7 years ago. All her hair turned gray and she looked frail and old for a couple of years through treatment. After the cancer was gone, her hair all grew back brown again and she looked like she did before. It was really weird."
a-ohhh
From the Top
American Horror Story Fx GIF by AHSGiphy"Hair loss. Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who I swore was like 35, and he was 19. Poor kid."
Kaiserhawk
"When I have an interview, I let my baldness show a little bit. I look older, and I'm taken more seriously by recruiters that way."
lord_machin
Keep It
Nft Child GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy"Buccal fat removal."
arieljoc
"Surprised this wasn't higher up. People with baby cheeks don't realize how well they will serve them thirty years down the line when their buddies who teased them for it look like Skeletor."
Burly_Bara_Bottoms
Deep Breaths
"Stress."
gablamegla
"When I was younger and first entered the real world I remember working with a white-haired woman that had an always tired look about her. She had a picture of her daughter on her desk, young, blonde, that looked so incredibly much like her I mentioned it once. Turned out that wasn’t her daughter, but was her prior to her going through the FBI academy."
F_is_for_Ducking
Work of the Devil
"Troubleshooting printer problems. I swear these devilish machines only exist to trigger me to smithereens."
Philitt
"A couple years ago I decided to officially give up on having a personal printer and only use the one at the library because when it f**ks up, it's someone else's problem. I still have my old printer and I've considered dropping it off my roof for fun."
Painting_GatoI
"Had the opportunity to throw one out of a third-story window. The absolute joy I felt watching that a**hole machine soar through the air and smash to smithereens was the best kind of natural high. It's been 15 years, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it."
Natural_Garbage7674
Bad Relations
My Big Fat Fabulous Life Kiss GIF by TLCGiphy"Having a spouse that contributes nothing to your relationship and allows your family to slip further and further into debt without caring that you're all only a couple of bills away from bankruptcy."
Xmenenslaver
Life is just an endless well of aging.
No cream is coming to save us.
Redditor h-gotfred wanted to hear from the over 50 crowd, so they asked:
"To you Redditors aged 50+, what's something you genuinely believe young people haven't realized yet, but could enrich their lives or positively impact their outlook on life?"
There is so much to know about life.
And we have to age to learn it.
So let's chat...
Be Happy
just married love GIFGiphy"Marriage/relationships should be fun, and happy. Life is hard, things get tough. Find someone that makes the tough times easier, not harder."
Inevitable-Mine6466
"Piggybacking off this and saying, even the happiest marriages get into arguments. It's not a reason to leave."
J3sush8sm3
Battles...
"Not everything that you disagree with deserves an argument. Pick your battles and let trivial things slide."
hail2theKingbabee
"To echo this: Not everyone you disagree with is 'wrong.' They are simply operating with different information. You can disagree with someone on an issue and still value the person. Don't let one issue define your entire relationship with another person."
A_Socratic_Argument
The End
"If you die, your employer will have your job posted before you are buried. Remember that when making work/life choices."
Justin9314
"I started my career at corporate headquarters for a large insurance company. I was doing GREAT, but I just didn’t like the industry. I applied for a job at a major university and someone took a chance on me and gave me the position (transitioning from for-profit to non-profit is notoriously hard)."
"I made less money over the course of my career certainly but I wasn’t on poverty wages by any means. But I remember about 5 years in, one of my old VPs was in town and we got together. His comment was 'We miss you, but you look so much happier, the psychic income is showing.' Insightful guy."
Reynyan
The Truth
"2 things I will be eternally grateful to my grandfather for instilling in me..."
"Failure is not an end state unless it is where you choose to stop. He loved to quote that line by Churchill whenever something didn't work out for me, Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
"Honesty is the most powerful tool you can use to define yourself. Admit your mistake, frankly and honestly. The truth always comes out in the end no matter how big or small and it doesn't get better with age. You can give back something you steal, and you can help those you hurt but once they brand you a liar, it's all you will ever be."
iskandar-
Be Quiet
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"Unless you don't mind hearing EEEEEEEEEEEE like all the time day and night, use hearing protection in loud situations. Tinnitus is a bi*ch."
revnhoj
Take care of your ears.
One of life's greatest lessons!!!
Live by the Moon
bart simpson maggie GIFGiphy"Wear sunscreen."
nilecrane
"I just had a quick look at my 50-year-old upper chest, frequently exposed to the sun in my youth, and compared it to my 50-year-old belly, which has always been clothed and covered (I have never liked two-piece swimsuits). What a difference!"
HootieRocker59
Passions
"Take a genuine interest in what other people have to say, ask them follow-up questions about their passions in life. Don’t just talk about yourself, or wait for your turn to talk. That’s how you have a conversation, and build a relationship."
MayIServeYouWell
"Sometimes you gotta be careful with that. Pay attention if the other person is doing that too, it's important for you to share about your life. It can be kind of lonely when you know so much about your friends, but they don't know about you."
jacarelunar
Practice makes Perfect
"Every skill takes determined practice to master. I see my young friends/relatives try and give up on so many things because 'they weren't very good at it.' If you keep doing that, you'll never be very good at anything."
EarhornJonesI
"I love cooking - and find it easy and relaxing. I have hit a point where I can make several dishes that I can honestly say are far superior to what I could get at a restaurant. I love delighting my family and friends with what I cook."
"But the truth is - I've prepared thousands of dishes. I've practiced for 40+ years. I have f**ked up every single type of food there is at least once. I've burnt things. I've undercooked chicken. I failed to emulsify things that should have been emulsified. I forgot to set the timer. I've added too much salt. I chopped when I should have torn. I did all of the wrong things at some point. And because of all of these things, I can walk into any kitchen and make something delicious."
NewSummerOrange
63
"I’d say invest in your health by regularly exercising. My wife got me into running when we were in our twenties, and it has been a big part of our lives ever since (I’m 63). Nothing crazy, no marathons, we don’t time ourselves or follow a strict training plan, we just pick a route, go at our own pace, and have fun. We still go 3-4 miles, 3-4x per week."
"I also started working out at the gym 3x a week with free weights in my 30s, and have been doing it ever since. I’m no Schwarzenegger, believe me, but I can still work around the house, move furniture, shovel snow and have fun tossing a ball around with the kids without injuring or exhausting myself. Between aerobic fitness and weights, I’ve been able to stay remarkably healthy my entire adult life, knock on wood. It’s also been great for my mental health and managing stress."
"You don’t have to go nuts and set unreasonably strict requirements for exercise goals or diet that a normal person can’t possibly maintain - just do the best you can, make exercising a few times per week a habit, eat a reasonable diet (avoid fried stuff, eat fruit and veggies, lay off the sweets), and 40 years later you’ll really thank yourself, believe me!"
lanky_planky
Plan Ahead
Make It Rain Money GIF by yvngswagGiphy"Debt can really ruin your life. If you want to take on a lot of it, make sure you have a good plan and run it by a lot of smart people first."
vanityklaw
Debt. Everyone should learn about avoiding debt as early as possible.
This whole list should be taught in Universities.
Redditor Cyber_Optics05 wanted to discuss all the reasons friends tend to go their separate ways, so they asked:
"What kicked off the end of a friend group?"
Just life.
That's how my groups have disbanded.
It happens.
Vanished
GIF by VPROGiphy"Two of us got in relationships and just... vanished. I get it, the honeymoon period is a hell of a drug, but it hurts to know that some people are one good date away from forgetting they have friends."
Schroedingersrabbit
Goodbyes
"They all died, within a month. To be clear, they were all older guys, 68, 74, and 89 (I was about 50). Group of friends I had in my building, we'd have coffee every day and watch a few sitcoms, and chat."
"Fred died first, which was sad, but the dude was nearly 90. Then Terry died, he had a couple of chronic conditions, and a chemo treatment messed everything up. And then a couple weeks Dave died, from complications caused by Complex Regional Pain Disorder. For him, death was a mercy."
Squigglepig52
Pasted
"The friend who was the 'glue' of the group moved to the other coast and one of the couples broke up the same weekend. I tried to invite the old gang to a birthday party and the only one who showed up was the one who moved."
Evening-Ambition-406
"That’s similar to what’s happening with my friend group. I was the glue, but now I’ve gotten too busy to be able to hang out, so it all kind of just fell apart. The few times I show up to lunch no one says anything."
Dry_Cell560
Being Fair
"In the middle of that right now. Used to play video games several nights a week, DND every other week, and meet up to hang out on a regular basis. Then he met someone, and he just started bailing on everything and has now moved in with them after 4 months. Never even made an effort to introduce us to the new person. I've just got to accept that he's happy, and I'm glad for that, but I'm also not willing to put in the effort for no return, and that's also fair."
karnim
New Chapters
Jump Yes GIF by Valparaiso UniversityGiphy"Grad school finished and we all scattered."
whywasthatagoodidea
"Grad school was the last time it was easy to make friends. Now in the adulting world and it all sucks. Especially if you don't have kids and that's the main way adults seem to pair up is having kids involved in things where you meet other parents."
growling_owl
The school days are over.
Then so is the love.
Drama
joan collins march GIFGiphy"One of us broke up my sister's marriage and started immediately dating her after she kicked her husband out. And they tried to act like nothing happened."
darthurface
Money Changes Everything
"They all got rich. I did not."
Dudian613
"I remember as a kid version I very specifically drifted away from my high school friend group because all my friends at the time were super smart and successful and I was on a straight shot to community college (loved community college no hate just as a teenager at the time it's hard to see the value over the flashier universities)."
Sad_Quote1522
Blown Apart
"One friend started dating one of the other friend's ex. Blew apart a 35+ year friendship we had between four of us since grade school. We all live within 2 miles of each other, but none of us have talked to any of the others in over 25 years."
wyoflyboy68
"I need to point out that the only person to ruin anything is the friend whose ex started dating one of the group. they were not together and you can't fault love. because they got all up in their feelings doesn't mean the other person did something wrong."
glucoseintolerant
The Great Upheaval
"COVID wrecked a lot of my social life. We had a weekly game night and weekly trivia night and a few other semi-regular events and none of them have come back."
"A lot of my friends have gotten married or started families over the pandemic so it's possible that maybe this was going to happen anyway, but it sucks to go from a pretty thriving social routine to nothing. I still have friends and we still do things together but I miss the regularity we used to have."
Badloss
The Next Generation
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Kids. One of the couples got pregnant and within a couple of months, it basically went from 12-15 of us down to 4. Can’t complain though. The 4 of us are living much better lives now."
BigOgre2010
Kids ruin everything.
Get a dog.
They adapt to friends better.
Kidding, of course!
Have you ever experienced a friend group falling apart? Let us know in the comments.