Newly Responsible Adults Share The Biggest Mistakes People Make In Their 20s
But that's not the case. Your body doesn't forget. You can do so many awful things to yourself--and to others--in your 20s and not even fully understand the problem until much, much later. So we turned to the older crowd for some advice.
xSick asked Reddit:
What are some of the biggest mistakes people can make in their 20s?
Here are some of the cautionary tales.
Simple Change
Not brushing your teeth.
When my father passed away, I slept away each night without taking care of myself. I've had so many root canals, removals, and pain because of it- and it only hurts what little self image I have of myself.
When your teeth go, you smile less and hate yourself a little more every day. It just takes so much away from you.
Please, please take care of those chompers.
Remember Time Is On Your Side
Not taking advantage of your greatest asset, time. When I was talking with an older friend who was very well off, millionaire, I jokingly said, "I'll trade you my age for your money". And his reply has always stuck with me, he said, "I can do more with your time than you can do with my money." I didn't take it as an insult but as motivation to make the most of my time and not waste it.
Debt
Get loans, credit cards that they cant fully pay off.
Spend more money then you truly have or make.
I did all that. Now im punished by my own poor mistakes of trying to spend money with ppl who make way more.
I got 2-3 more yrs and im paid off.
Social Pressure
Heavy drinking. You can waste away years of your life like this, thinking you're just "partying." A good friend of mine recently came to terms with his alcoholism. Getting black-out drunk every week for nearly a decade is not normal.
I'm Doing Everything Wrong
Reading threads like this in my 20s and realizing everything I'm currently doing wrong.
Exercise
Not getting a routine of a healthy lifestyle. When older people say "it gets a lot harder when you're older", they mean it.
Cost Vs. Worth
Confusing being able to make minimum payment with being able to afford something.
Protection
Not wearing sunscreen. Seriously people wear sunscreen. Getting sunburned just once can triple your risk of melanoma later in life. I work with a lot of older hippies, construction workers, landscapers, and arborists and a lot of them have skin cancer and they all really wish they had worn sunscreen. Listen to Baz Luhrmann and wear sunscreen. If you're concerned about certain chemicals in sunscreen there's always alternatives. Also look into Korean sunscreens. They have amazing sunscreens that go on smooth just like lotion and don't leave you sticky or contain some of the harsh chemicals in American sunscreens. Make it a part of your daily routine and you'll appreciate it later in life.
Car Wars
Buying vehicles they can barely afford. Not realizing that the really nice cars also usually have really high insurance rates. I saw this happen to some friends in my late teens/early 20's.
Self Care
Staying in a mediocre/bad relationship because of inertia or because you've already sunk a bunch of time and effort into it.
Dating is hard at any age, but it gets harder as you get older. If you aren't that into your current SO or it feels like the relationship is always a lot of hard work, consider breaking it off. There are worse things than being single.
Can Millennials Do This?
Don't think that there is plenty of time to save for retirement. If it is possible for you to put something away on a regular basis, do it. The best time to start is when you get a job that offers you more pay that what you were getting. Take a percentage of the increase and start savings that right from the beginning. That helps make it such that you never miss it.
More Reflection
Take care of yourself. Your habits now will follow you for a long time. I'm 27 and starting to realize this so I'm trying to turn things around. less drinking, more salads, less carbs, etc
Also don't waste money on stupid sh-t. If you're about to buy something stupid just think "will i get annoyed at having this in 2 years?"
Potential Vs. Kinetic
Coasting on their potential. It's easy to put off actually doing anything while you're still basking in the glory of being the smart kid at school or university, but then all of a sudden you're 29 and there are _celebrities younger than you_and you find yourself wondering where to even get started.
If you want something, the time to start working towards it is while you're young and hungry.
Within Your Means
Living a lifestyle you can't afford.
Balance
Don't waste time being self conscious, don't waste time on negative people/relationships/interpersonal dramas. Use this time for personal development. Get good at things you enjoy. Be friends with people who make you happy. Do interesting shit.
Literally no one, ever, has looked back and been pleased that they spent six months embroiled in roommate drama. You're not going to (hopefully) be regaling the bar with how that bitch Cheryl bleached your towels in six years. It doesn't fucking matter.
No one has ever been super jazzed that they nitpicked their own appearance for seven years and consequently couldn't enjoy themselves because they were pulling at their clothing. (I'm not talking about self improvement, I'm talking about being really unhappy with yourself for the sake of being really unhappy with yourself, stop doing that, you're fine)
If your relationship involves screaming, drunken screaming, the silent treatment, weird subterfuge, or general nastiness, (and I could make an endless list of bullsh-t behavior) leave that relationship.
You are going to outgrow friendships. Other people are going to outgrow your friendship. This is normal. It's not an indictment of you as a person. It can be painful, handle it with grace.
And always, think before you react. Always be your own devil's advocate. Think about others, think about how you sound when dealing with conflict. Being a stable person is partially an acquired skill. Learn it.
Loved Ones
Forgetting about calling and visiting your parents. Seriously. It may sound weird but when I was in my 20's I was so happy to be out of the house that I made the mistake of disconnecting with my mom and dad.
I wish I would have done more.
Credit
Not caring about credit/credit score. Getting credit cards and maxing them out and not being able to keep up with the payments. I'm speaking from personal experience here. I was never taught to be financially responsible and it's been a hard lesson learned. I'm 35 now, my credit score is slowly creeping up, and I have a three year plan/budget for home ownership. I'm literally a decade behind where I wanted to be.
Control
Getting into a relationship with an SO who has control issues.
A lack of respect for personal boundaries is a serious red flag. The risks include depleted savings, ruined credit, damaged a career, frayed ties to family and friends, and ending up with one or more unplanned children.
Serious advice: if a charming person as that red flag but you think you can manage it, don't even try.
Money
Sacrifice learning for earning. Not saying you have to go to college, but you need to learn a marketable skill in a career that has a future. Working as a server/bartender or other similar job for easy money is not a viable long term move. I see many 40 year old servers who look 50 and hate life.
T. R. Y.
Don't be comfortable.
Seriously, be UNCOMFORTABLE. Interview for a job that's out of your league. Ask the girl out that's out of your league. Apply for grad school that's out of your league.
When the worst thing that can happen is the same as if you never tried, TRY.
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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