It doesn't take a genius to know that women and girls don't get taught everything we need to know at school or by our parents. A lot of us are out here just doing the best we can with what we've got and figuring it out along the way.
Many don't fully understand our own bodies, aren't fully comfortable with the politics of the workforce, and bless your heart if you're in a metropolitan area and nobody has taught you the official (and unofficial) rules of public transportation.
Don't stress. The sisterhood has your back.
Reddit user ej1273 asked:
"Women of Reddit, what’s something every girl should know but is rarely taught?"
Let's get our learning on, shall we?
Menopause?
Tv Land Crying GIF by Teachers on TV LandGiphy"Still waiting for someone to teach me about menopause."
- megablocklego
"Honestly don't know much about it either, but I do know this: If you start menopause and your period suddenly comes back, go see a doctor IMMEDIATELY."
- carinavet
"Going through it now."
"No one told me about the insomnia. The hot flashes drench my head. Oh and brain fog is real."
- tulipz10
"And no one seems to mention that it’s not a few months or maybe a year… I’ve been dealing with it for 4+ years."
"Absolutely ridiculous. I would like to speak to menopause’s manager!"
- megggie
Pockets
"Honestly, sewing and altering clothes- not for gendered reasons, but because our clothes often times fit irregularly."
"A size 12 in one brand will fit completely differently from a size 12 in a different brand."
"Also, you can learn to sew larger pockets into your pants."
- plvmeria
"Say no more. You had me at pockets."
- spamari
Discharge Discourse
"Your vaginal discharge is slightly acidic to help kill off bacteria."
"This is why your underwear may gradually get 'bleach' stains and little holes forming in the gusset."
- tinyspacewolves
"It causes light spots on dark fabric and dark spots on light fabric. Somehow, it knows."
- nameunconnected
"I get vaginal discharge every time my period is about to arrive."
"My ex thought I was unhygienic and went on Reddit about it. It hurt a lot knowing that I, at that time, was in love with him. Glad it’s over."
- craycrayanon
"It is COMPLETELY normal to have discharge."
"I was taught you should have no discharge. Ever. It made me feel disgusting every time I felt my undies get moist."
"I was reading today that some girls have harmed themselves over this because they think it means they are no longer clean or are impure."
"I make sure in all my sex Ed classes with high school girls to stress this fact."
- ShutterbugOwl
"I had no idea as a young teen that discharge was normal."
"So I assumed my underwear should be bone dry and spotless and something must be wrong with me that it wasn’t. This was likely connected to my then-recent discovery of masturbation, which I understood was a terrible sin and a disgusting thing for me to be doing."
"I saw an ad for Monistat that referred to discharge, and I decided I must have a yeast infection."
"So, being probably 12 years old, I shoplifted some home treatment because I assumed if I tried to buy it they’d tell my mom and she’d know why."
"And that’s how a total lack of decent sex ed led me to commit crimes and self-medicate imaginary yeast infections for a couple years."
- okschooner
Negotiation
Pay Me Stephen Colbert GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy"How to negotiate a pay raise, higher salary, etc. Too many of us (girls and boys) are not taught how to advocate for ourselves and know our worth to employers."
- Pepperspray24
"THIS."
"Last time I was offered a promotion at a corporate job they were all 'oh boy! And you’ll get a $2 an hour raise!' ”
"I said I’d call them back shortly. Did the math. With the amount of commissions I got on top of my hourly they’d have to give me a $3 a raise just to match my average pay, not to mention the raise needed to cover my new responsibilities."
"I called back and told them as much, and said I’d take a $6 per hour raise to start and if the store numbers went up in the first month by 10% I’d take another $2 after 30 days, and we could renegotiate after 90 days of the promotion, depending on store numbers."
"They said they couldn’t do that, so I said I’d stay in my current position."
"They called back within five minutes and agreed. I said I’d wait on the paperwork confirming it and wouldn’t ya know it? It worked."
- ShinyTinker
A Second Opinion
"If a doctor quickly dismisses your extreme menstrual pain (or any type of pain for that matter) as being ‘normal’ or that you’re too ‘sensitive’, try to seek a second opinion."
"My ‘normal’ pain turned out to be endometriosis."
- BranwenTheRiveter
"My mom told me to suck it up, everyone hurts during their period. She thought taking ibuprofen kept my body from learning how to deal with discomfort."
"No, mom. It was stage 4 endometriosis. It was so bad my internal organs were fused together."
- reluctantsub
"Way back in dinosaur times, a doctor told my sister that period pain is God's punishment for women committing Original Sin, and there was nothing he could do to help her."
- NeutralFrog
Houseplants
"Thousands of companies exist with the sole purpose of making you feel insecure about some bullsh*t non-issue, then selling you a made-up 'solution'."
"Don't give these people your money. Acquire more houseplants instead."
- Articulated
"This here is solid gold."
"My houseplants make me so much happier than trying to conform to random bullsh*t standards for women ever did."
- Foxclaws42
A Plan, Not A Man
"Financial planning."
"You can’t and shouldn’t depend on Prince Charming to rescue you."
- macaronsforeveryone
"My grandma told me 'You don’t need a man to take care of you. You also don’t need a man you have to take care of.' ”
- erishilton
"As a Father to a daughter, I really tried to encourage my daughter to be financially independent and smart with her money."
- nadvargas
Lumps Aren't Always Cancer
"Lumps in your breasts are not always cancer!"
"Of course get them checked out, but it is COMMON to find cysts in your breasts! Some people also have naturally fibrous and kind of lumpy feeling breast tissue."
"Source: found a lump in my breast, freaked out, searched Google, freaked out more, stewed for months, booked an appointment with my Obgyn only for him to tell me 'yeah its a cyst, stop messing with it. It's common.' "
"Don't do that to yourself. Don't freak out. Don't stew for months."
- Jenyweny09
"It bothers me tons that there is no treatment other than 'live with it' as they become very painful."
"However, I really want to stress here, if you do find lumps in your breasts, go have them checked immediately, but don't freak out about it. It could be something, it could be nothing."
- yourMomDoesTricks
A Watering Can
"Lactating women do not have just one stream of breast milk that comes out of the middle part of the areola."
- Egg_Cellent
"Yup. It all looks a bit more like a watering can. You have multiple ducts where milk is released."
"Adding on to this, people need to understand a bit lore about the basics of human lactation. How it works, what is normal/abnormal, and where to reach out for help, and to do so the second you have questions."
"Lactation issues are much easier to correct the sooner you get help."
- nursepineapple
"I thought this when my son was born."
"He was four weeks premature and I was crying after the birth because my nipples didn’t have their hole yet. I was convinced it was because he was early and I wouldn’t be able to breast feed."
- ComprehensiveFlan638
"What the F!!!! I am 35, no kids (yet) and you are telling me my nipple turns into a WATERING CAN!!!???"
- holdingpotato
Do You Even Lift?
"Weightlifting and strength training is good for you, and more women should lift."
- kschin1
"No one accidentally wins Mr. Universe. The heavy weights aren't going to turn you into a hulk. You're not going to look 'manly' by accident."
- heili
"ADHD lady who loves weight lifting. Can confirm."
"Your brain goes quiet and you have such a sense of accomplishment being able to lift something you never thought was possible."
- infiniteambivalence
"It also won’t make you 'bulky'."
"It’s damn hard to build actual muscle, women don’t build muscle as quickly or as naturally as men do. For a woman to build a large amount of muscle takes time and precision with diet and progressive load training."
- RunRenee
"Exactly!! As a guy I’ve never understood this, women are something like 4 times more likely to develop osteoporosis or something because of bone density."
"So literally women have very good reason to lift more."
- GeneralKenobi4321
Now that you've heard from the lovely ladies of Reddit, it's your turn to talk.
What is something you think younger women and girls need to know as they grow up?
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.