Men, women, gender fluid... we all have secrets to tell. When in the search for the love we will ALL play any game, choose any pawn. Bros put on a good facade of "I'm not hiding anything," but that's a secret as well. If only we could unleash our secrets, and just be honest. Gentlemen... you first.
Redditor u/mustafarangoon52 wanted the men out there to fess on a few things.... What are some "guy secrets" girls don't know about?
How do I look?
GiphyIf you compliment my appearance I will probably remember forever. I still remember when a girl in college told me I look nice with my beard when I first grew it out. I've had a beard ever since... Reddit
Straight Talk....
Your chances of getting what you want out of us are infinitely higher if you tell us directly. DepressedBard
I can vouch for this. I was upset with my SO for not picking up what I thought were clear hints, when he responded frustrated with, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HINTS JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WOMAN!" He really helped me communicate better. I don't know why we grow up thinking we can't directly ask for things. Kris10tx
I'm Listening....
When people come crying to us, our first inclination is to fix the problem.
Since this is (often) not possible, lead with something along the lines of "Can I vent for a minute?" Or anything that signals to us this is just a time for active listening, rather than a problem solving session. realbadaccountant
Let me Breathe!
When we want to be alone, it's not that we don't want to be around you, it's that we don't want to be around anyone for a bit. aestusveritas
I get this one way too well, I go through bouts where I just don't want to talk to anyone regardless of how close we are. Chimonakimi
Be You!
GiphyWe don't care how popular (or unpopular) you are with other women. So it shouldn't factor into how you value yourself when dating. Mongo0se
Discuss he Weave!
We really do think your hair is good. It looked good before and after you got a hair cut. If looked good curly and it looked good straight. It looked good when you woke up and when you made it. As long as its shaped like the hair we gave girls on stick figures when we were 5 years old, we think it looks good. banjohusky95
Beauty is Subjective...
As an older man, we don't expect you to look like a supermodel as we age together. Yes, at times I do see you as I did 30 years ago and every wrinkle and flaw disappears. Yes, there are times I see every wrinkle and flaw, and know how you got every one of them. They are beautiful too. Duesizzle
Gotta Eat!
Often times, we genuinely don't care where we go to eat because we're just hungry and want food. Any food. As long as you eat some too.
I'm glad someone liked my toilet comment enough to give me gold. i promise to use this responsibly. Rabidrabitz
Stand Up Straight....
If we tie down anything in the back of a pickup truck or trailer it's physically impossible for us not to stand back and say "that's not going anywhere." Johnchuk
This is shockingly accurate. Might even be accompanied by shaking the object a bit, and looking at your friend for confirmation that he also saw how much it's not going anywhere. Komfortable
Oh the Pee...
GiphyAt the urinals we typically pee on soap bars, ice or plastic mats to reduce splash damage and smell. GuessImAUofTKidNow
Do you mean bar soap or a urinal cake? Because I've had the pleasure of never having to pee on soap or ice yet in my life. RaleighRedd
Just Ask...
Guys also like to be walked up to and asked out. IAmMohit
My current girlfriend, soon to be fiancée, asked me out. We worked at the same company, and she just came up to me and said "hey justyburger, I think you and I should go get dinner tonight." I asked her who else was going, and she said "I think it'd be nice if it was just you and me." So yea, that was pretty cool. REDDIT
Aren't We All?
I'm secretly an emotional wreck, I just hide it. ShakaWTWF
Big hugs big fella. We have emotions too.
How ya doing buddy? spiegro
Show me the flaws...
As an older man, we don't expect you to look like a supermodel as we age together. Yes, at times I do see you as I did 30 years ago and every wrinkle and flaw disappears. Yes, there are times I see every wrinkle and flaw, and know how you got every one of them. They are beautiful too. Duesizzle
TRUTH FIRST!
Your chances of getting what you want out of us are infinitely higher if you tell us directly. DepressedBard
I can vouch for this. I was upset with my SO for not picking up what I thought were clear hints, when he responded frustrated with, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HINTS JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WOMAN!" He really helped me communicate better. I don't know why we grow up thinking we can't directly ask for things. Kris10tx
The Nothing Box!
Men have a box that our minds go into. It's called the "Nothing Box."
So next time you ask a man what he's thinking about and he answers with "nothing." There is a good chance he's telling you the truth. AmericanPixel
I hurt too...
idk if other guys feel this too, but I'm always afraid of accidentally making women feel uncomfortable in my presence, for example when i happen to walk in the same direction as a woman in front of me for a while. And I'm not even interested in women in the first place. juicydaddy69
Let me Speak!
When people come crying to us, our first inclination is to fix the problem.
Since this is (often) not possible, lead with something along the lines of "Can I vent for a minute?" Or anything that signals to us this is just a time for active listening, rather than a problem solving session. realbadaccountant
It's just flesh...
After a shower, we have no problem drying our balls and face with the same towel. Most of the time we try to dry the face first, then the sack. But sometimes we have to go back to the face. We just hope we use an uncontaminated part of the towel. prospecthummmer
Let me Be!
When we want to be alone, it's not that we don't want to be around you, it's that we don't want to be around anyone for a bit. aestusveritas
I get this one way too well, I go through bouts where I just don't want to talk to anyone regardless of how close we are. Chimonakimi
You Look GOOD.. Always!!
We really do think your hair is good. It looked good before and after you got a hair cut. If looked good curly and it looked good straight. It looked good when you woke up and when you made it. As long as its shaped like the hair we gave girls on stick figures when we were 5 years old, we think it looks good. banjohusky95
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.