Teenagers Explain Which Things They Thought Were Puberty Related But Turned Out To Be Something Else
Puberty is a confusing time. SO many things are happening to you on several levels: mental, physical, emotional, hormonal.
And while all that is swirling around you, you are bound to encounter some other life challenges. At the time, you might connect these things to puberty, only to find out later it was something completely different.
Here were some answers.
It's Not Just A Mess Sometimes
When I was a teenager, I always thought that having resentment towards my mom (single parent) was normal for that phase in life. Everyone told me I was just an over-reactive teenager, going through changes, "hypersentitive" and it would pass and one day I'll realize how lucky I am to have her. While I agree, she was a good mom; I still harbor a lot of resentment toward her over a lot of things, and my family was extremely toxic and would consistently diminish my feelings to make themselves feel better.
It wasn't just a teenage mess of emotions; these were real problems that my mom couldn't be bothered with. It was more important for her to be the victim, and that hasn't changed still 20 years later. Most people are on the outside looking in, and don't hear both sides of the story. Sometimes the smallest thing can lead to a life of depression, anxiety and self-deprecating. In other words, you're not just 'finding yourself' as a teenager. Life comes with constant growth and realizations; don't ignore your instinct because everyone is telling you otherwise.
When I was about 14 I started to hear a crazy amount of people yelling at me inside my head. I would just be sitting on my bed or something and it would absolutely overcome me. I heard my parents and siblings and friends all at the same time yell at me things I've actually heard the week before and then everything in real life would be moving super fast and there was no way I could trick my mind into moving slow. I would actually move slowly but it would make it worse and I would just have to lay there and nothing would help... I attribute it to panic attacks but no one has ever been able to help diagnose it.
Ain't Just The Hormones
Insanely heavy, painful period. Massive weight gain. Being uncontrollably mean to my mom and then crying because I didn't know why I was being mean to my mom. My "puberty" was so bad my mom took me to all kinds of doctors. She felt like I was possessed and also dying. I physically could not get out of bed on my period. Turns out I have PMDD, bipolar disorder and an under active thyroid. I went on birth control at 11 to control the bleeding and mood swings. Mood stabilizers around 13 and then thyroid meds at 15 and life was much better.
The Vibrance Goes Down
Losing the vividness and emotion of life. I thought society cherished and glorified childhood so much because everything feels so much more real and vivid back then. Turns out i just have a condition called derealisation lol
Some People Can't Handle The Truth
I get extremely bad pains in my legs - which was suspected to be growth pains.
Multiple doctor visits later, without my mother as she never believed me, and I was told I have very weak tissues in my legs that often tear or get inflammed, and had to start physio to try build them up more.
My mother still thinks I'm lying, even though I have been diagnosed by professionals. It hurts.
Being Isolated Forever
I was feeling a very large disconnect from everyone around me, especially people my age. I constantly visualized being in a bubble separate from everyone else, and I had a hard time having conversations. But I just thought it was puberty, because I didn't want to self diagnose, and I figured everyone else felt the same.
Turns out it was Aspergers.
Though Sometimes These Go Hand In Hand
Being always afraid is to talk to people, planning every word I will say to make sure I will not make any error, looking at every single detail of them to make sure I'm not saying anything wrong. Turns out I have social anxiety
'Twas The Cows
That was when my lactose sensitivity kicked in. Milk always made me feel a little ill as a child but I thought it was normal. Then I started getting really sick and my parents didn't believe me, so I spent several years being forced to drink milk every day and feeling really sick but thinking it was the price of growing up.
The Price Of Identity
The emergence of a deep seated anger towards my parents. Television and media showed me that conflicts between teen and parent was a normal part of growing up and my unidentifiable (at the time) anger was just raging hormones. It didn't help that my family would sigh at me citing my growing up as being the cause of the troubles. In some ways they were right.
Turns out I was just beginning to understand that my parents were controlling bullies and they felt threatened and wanted to knock me down harder the more I tried to have my own identity and boundaries. Teenagehood sucks for so many kids, they're just trying to figure life and themselves out and get stereotyped and invalidated by society at large just because of their age.
Just A Normal Virus
Hi! Mom here, not a teen. My pre-teen had the flu a month or so ago (time means nothing right now). He ran to the bathroom and got sick. I grabbed what I could to comfort him and when he was done he asked me "is this puberty?!" I assured him it was just the flu. Puberty would suck too, but not like this.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
For all the crime or mystery shows people watch perhaps the scariest instances are the tragedies that happen in real life. The most startling thing is while many murderers display red flags, a large amount tend to be seemingly nice people. Criminologists have found that in domestic-violence-related homicide in particular the perpetrator tends to employ an outwardly charming, charisma-filled act as part of their method.
Have you ever met a murderer? It leaves you feeling gross. There was one murderer in our small wooded town that I met a few different times. He was a business owner of a run down pawn shop and the apartments above it since I could remember. Also since I could remember-dude was creepy.
As even teens if mom needed to run in to grab something like a cheap small appliance or movies we had to wait in the car. When older and working teens my sister had to deliver pizza there once. When she walked in the owner and a couple of guys hanging out there just stopped, then went "oh a wo-man!" and blank stared at her until she left.
We always heard the town rumor mill how he would rent to women in exchange for "favors" etc and he was on the state offender registry. You could just tell there was something wrong there. I personally only went inside the shop twice in my life and left quickly because of the odd atmosphere.
Years go by, the now old man is still running his increasingly rundown pawnshop and rentals and then BOOM police tape everywhere, scanners going crazy, his name is all over the news. Apparently after a conflict his older son went and confessed to helping his father clean up the crime scene.
This man had been involved with a woman and she had gone missing in 1998. No leads ever come about and people decided she must have runaway. It turns out that after a conflict the owner had murdered her cold blood. He then called his son to help him. He had dismembered her and burned her body in the furnace of the pawn shop.
He then continued to stay and work right there every day until he was convicted in 2013 of the henious crime.
While many red flags were noticed many of his oddities seemed to get brushed under the rug following the "poor people are crazy but people with money are just eccentric" rule while enjoying the privileges being a business owner in a tiny town offer.
Wanting to hear others encounter with real life monsters Rediitor White-cherries asked the online community:
"People who knew murders before they killed someone, what are some red flags you didn't notice at the time?"
The answers were plentiful and disturbing.
"He never had a sense of right/wrong.”
“My childhood friend killed his parents. His dad was my dad's best friend. Red flags? Drinking at an extremely young age, like 9."
“He never had a sense of right/wrong. Cruelty to animals. It reads like a profile of a future murderer. Heavy drug use did the rest of the work and he killed both of them for oxy."
“Since he was my friend, I guess I missed it all at the time. But my parents got me away from him with a quickness once I mentioned some things to them.“ andrewfnluck
The school bully...
“I went to school with three eventual murderers, but only one showed red flags to me. He was an extremely violent bully. He'd just attack people in the halls.”
“Trying to punch guys in the balls. Grab your nipple and twist. Punch kids in the arm or back. Typical bully stuff except he put everything into it. You wouldn't know he was even around and suddenly he was attacking you.”
“He murdered a classmate of ours who I really liked. It was in 7th grade and he beat him to death over a bag of pot. He was convicted of 2nd degree murder and was released 6 years later and has a long rap sheet.” GrandUnhappy9211
“So I went to a big university that had a weird close knit feel. There was this girl that I knew but I wasn't friends with. She was nice but very over the top bubbly, enthusiastic about EVERYTHING and super extroverted. She was just a little much for me. Good in very, very small doses.”
“She started dating this guy who was the opposite of her, shy, quiet, followed her around like a little puppy. I can't remember now if it was over a holiday break, like thanksgiving or Christmas or if it was just a weekend but we all found out that his parents, younger brother and dog were all killed in a house fire.”
“Everyone felt so bad for him. Her family took him in. Support poured out from everywhere. Then we find out he killed all of them and then set the house on fire to cover it up. Shocked everyone.” Mom-tired_send-wine
“Nothing. I would have told you he was truly one of the nicest, kindest guys I'd ever met. He was a regular customer at a place my SIL bartended at. He was always nice, friendly, funny, a genuinely good guy."
“When the Husband and I would visit SIL at work he'd chat with us like we were old friends. He obviously had a bit of a crush on SIL but she was involved and had a small child and he respected that. Never even hit on her."
“There were many nights he'd stay past close to help her clean up, take trash out, lug kegs for her. Sometimes they'd go over to the after hours bar with a couple other people. They got to know each other quite well over several years (or so we thought)."
“Then one night SIL' s friend was at the bar and had too much so she couldn't drive. He offered to drive her home. SIL would never watch an impaired friend go out alone with just any customer but she never thought twice about this."
“In fact, she even thought it was so like him to offer... Such a nice guy!! She was happy her friend would get home safe ... They found her friend's body the next day."
“She had been strangled to death. He apparently drove around with her body until almost sun up not sure what to do with her when he decided to return to the bar."
“He dumped her body in the back alley next to the dumpster. SIL had to testify against him. In court it was brought to light that he had a history of violence against women (no murders, but several assaults). We were all absolutely shocked. BTW - He got Life." Kteefish
When a dv victim decides to leave they are at the greatest risk of fatal attack.
“My cousin's husband. When they first got married, he was a decent guy though I had only met him after they got married. I thought it was weird that she had a kid that wasn't living with them, but I was young and brushed it off. Over a decade later, I find out he was abusive and she was divorcing him. He shot her outside her workplace. It was on thr news. Thankfully he was caught not long after.” KosherWitch
“I always think about that one interaction.”
“So I worked with a guy, and one day he seemed upset. He got married young and he feared his wife, who separated from him, was starting to date his ex best friend. I said, "that's tough, sorry to hear it, you're young, next…"…..he immediately got this intense look and said he'd kill them.”
“I told him you don't want to say that, and blew it off. It seemed like blowing off steam kind of comment, but I was surprised at the Intensity…normally an extremely laid back guy. However, I felt it strange enough that I wanted to walk away.”
“Six months later he went to his old apartment at 6am, and the two were in bed. He entered their bedroom, put them on their knees and shot each in the head. He then put the gun to his head and ended it. The girl flinched at the shot, and survived a head shot. The new boyfriend died. I always think about that one interaction.” CLO54
“They were just shady a** people...”
“My friends husband killed her after they broke up by bludgeoning her to death and then took the car and her body and burned it in the woods. Big red flags from this guy was, he was still with his ex wife and they were in a polyamorous relationship with extreme jealousy, he was a total douche, didn't work, very possessive and jealous, and had hit her a few times before that I knew of.”
“He killed her because she broke up with them and was taking the house they had bought. He fought chickens and dogs also. He was using her for a free ride for insurance and financial support. His ex wife and son (17) were also in on the murder and helped to plan it.”
“They were just shady a** people and the world would have been a better place if they had never existed and had a child. We reported her missing an hour after she did not show from work and her daughter had found evidence that something had happened at the end of their driveway, she wasn't found for a few weeks but we all knew who was behind it as soon as she went missing.” AeBS1978
Creepy red flags...
“I worked with Edward Paul Morris right up until the point he murdered his pregnant wife and their children. Can't say it was so much missed signs as much as signs that are even more disturbing in hindsight.”
“On the surface he seemed like a polite, friendly guy if a little awkward. He would make small talk with me in the office breakroom, almost always complaining about his wife and stress at home. He treated it like chit-chat but it was clear he couldn't stop thinking about it.”
“When a mutual co-worker and I moved into a rental house together he offered to come mow the lawn (he did some yard maintenence work on the side). We didn't have curtains up yet and I was in my new bedroom putting clothes away when I realized he was outside, lawn mower running but just standing there and staring at me through the window. Creeped me right the f**k out.” serenidade
“A guy I knew from HS stalked an ex GF, ran through her sliding glass door, shot and killed her then killed himself. He had evidently been stalkerish with some other exes as well but because it was in another county it wasn't easy to find. There was a push to create a central register of people with protective orders like they do sex offenders in Texas because of him.”
“He hid it very well. I knew he had some substance abuse issues but he had stopped drinking and started going to church. Turns out that was even BS, he was going to the church his ex went to so he could talk to her. Edit: Monica's Law” TheProle
Remember that if you think you or someone you know is or could be experiencing domestic violence you can get ahold of the National Domestic Violence Hotline anytime by calling 1-800-799-7233(SAFE) or by texting START to 88788. If you see something say something by calling either a hotline to local law enforcement.
Many people would rather focus on the scandals associated with celebrities notorious for bad behavior.
This is a shame since many of their phenomenal talents are overlooked in favor of a juicy tabloid.
But what about the genuinely well-behaved celebrities? Well, they are not without haters too, unfortunately.
For instance, stars like Taylor Swift – who has been a positive role model and ally of the LGBTQ community – still has her share of critics no matter how hard she tries to shake it off.
"Who's that one celebrity that has like no haters?"
These Canadian comics were found to be simply irresistible.
The Actor From 'Honey I Shrunk The Kids"
"Rick Moranis. The guy stopped acting to take care of his kids after his wife's death."
Aspiring Football Player
"My favorite John Candy story: Joe Montana was playing for the 49ers in an important game, may have even been the Super Bowl. His team is down, they've got a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time to do it."
"Montana comes into the huddle and starts calling the play, then stops and points to the stands and says:"
"Hey, isn't that John Candy?"
"Teammates look over, and it is, indeed, John Candy. Turns out he was a big football fan."
"Montana returned his focus to the game and went on to lead a game-winning drive down the field."
These European personalities won the hearts of many people from around the world.
The Dowager Countess of Grantham
"Professor McGonagall is the most underrated Harry Potter character in the series."
"She is so funny, even when she is strictly serious! But I mostly praise Maggie Smith for her line delivery in general."
"I effing LOVE her story about how Walt Disney waited for her to give birth before filming Mary Poppins. Keep in mind at that stage Julie Andrews was nothing more than a mildly successful West End/Broadway actress. The fact that one of the biggest film producers at the time wanted her specifically to play Mary Poppins AND he was happy to wait until after her pregnancy is a true testament to her phenomenal acting and singing ability."
"It paid off too: Julie Andrews won the Oscar for Best Actress for her role as Mary Poppins, her feature film debut too!"
A.K.A. André René Roussimoff
"Andre the Giant."
"i was fortunate enough to catch a screening of The Princess Bride in Nashville a couple years ago; Cary Elwes (who plays the love interest) was there after the show and told some stories about working with different cast members. when he got to Andre, he recounted how he was the 'mood maker' of the cast and always had a smile on his face. he even broke his foot during one of the last scenes but powered through it because the other actors had been filming all day and wanted to go home."
"a real shame that he passed away so prematurely."
These real American idols are truly adored.
The Good Neighbor
Viggo Wherever He Goes
"He once gave my mom some chocolates, she still talks about it haha. In an industry rife with ego and jerks, he's a great guy."
"She had me at, 'It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!' She does plenty of good in this world."
"Google her variety show. A ton of people hated her because she wouldn't fire her black costar. She pretty much told those people to f*** off for lack of a better term and it makes me love her even more!"
I can confidently assume Dick Van Dyke has no haters.
How could he? He's a lovable icon and is a very affable person to work with.
I would know. Although it was a brief blip in my performing career, I had the honor to share the stage with the Disney legend known for playing Bert in Mary Poppins.
He was extremely gracious and he shook hands with all of us in the ensemble of our show while looking at us individually with a glimmer in his eye.
He loves people. You could tell. And we love him.
Everybody loves to hate a villain.
Usually, we think of villains in relation to novels, television shows, comic books, and movies. But history books and popular culture have a knack for drawing lines between good and evil too.
But, as we know, history is full of bias and injected with human emotion. Subtle exaggerations or scapegoating ploys add on to one another over years and years.
And eventually, even good people can be labeled as the scourges of our past.
Redditor blackwraythbutimpink asked:
"Who is seen as a 'bad guy' in history but was actually ok?"
Of course, Hollywood has a lot to do with it. A good script needs conflict and a villain, even if that means stretching the truth a bit.
Full of Heart, In Fact
"More so sports history, but the film Cinderella Man portrayed boxer Max Baer as a murderous psychopath who gladly killed two fighters in the ring."
"In reality, he was personally devastated by these deaths. In the one he was most directly responsible for, he ended up giving his winnings from his next few fights to the fighters family."
"William Murdoch was the guy who shoots two passengers and then himself in 'Titanic.' "
"In reality, while there were reports of an officer shooting two passengers and then committing suicide, there was nothing confirming it to have been Murdoch."
"In fact, Murdoch was in charge of launching life boats on the starboard side and had launched more than half of his fully loaded lifeboats before anyone else launched any. No one knows for sure what happened to him aside that he was lost with the ship."
Not All Rivals Are Evil
"The play Mozart and Salieri (and later the film Amadeus) popularized the idea that Mozart's rival, Antonio Salieri, was a huge jerk who ultimately killed Mozart..."
"...but in reality there's no indication that Mozart was poisoned, or that Salieri had anything to do with his death. Also Salieri was a philanthropist and probably a lot more decent than theater/film made him out to be when they needed an antagonist for Mozart."
An Impressive Navigator
"Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty. Portrayed as a monster in novels and films. He was actually a well thought of Naval Officer who when forced off his ship sailed a small craft 4000 miles with minimal provisions."
"When there was no suitable craft available he and his crew then built their own and sailed from East Timor back to England. He was exonerated by the courts, and had a successful career as Governor of New South Wales."
Other people set their sights on the historical figures who were cast in the wrong light by the inaccurate, prevailing narratives about them.
"Khrushchev was actually the bigger man during the Cuban missile crisis. He initiated the negotiations and even let Kennedy look like the hero by keeping America's side of the bargain secret."
"Not to mention all the measures he took afterwards to prevent something like it from happening again."
A Man of Principles
"Brutus. He's gone down as committing one of history's greatest betrayals, but what he actually did was choose his Republican ideals over a man he personally loved (who had sparked a civil war with an illegal invasion of Italy, and was unquestionably acting like an autocrat)."
Ousted, But a Good Leader
"Thomas Sankara. When he lead Burkina Faso it was probably the most progressive African nation at the time, and even by todays standards it would be up there when compared to them."
"He was also responsible for not only making it less reliant on France, but also it's name (which used to be 'Upper Volta'), and interestingly since he was a guitarist he also wrote the new national anthem."
"He was assassinated in 1987 after a coup."
And others set their sights on the figures who found themselves in the tabloids and discussions of popular culture.
It Was Actually Terrible
"The lady who sued McDonald's for giving her third degree burns." -- skittlkiller57
"Dude, yes. She got fucking third degree burns."
"She was burned so badly it fused her labia. All she wanted was for them to pay for her medical bills due to their obscenely hot flesh searing coffee, which had already been the subject of numerous complaints." -- ARabidDingo
"Monica Lewinski. Gonna leave it at that." -- PetiteSymphony
"Pretty fu**ed up how the world blamed the young intern for the sex scandal instead of the powerful, much older president..." -- AkechiJubeiMitsuhide
Smearing Pee Wee
"Paul Reubens. For decades of my life I was under the impression that Pee Wee Herman was guilty of some child-predator sh**."
"But no, dude was just spotted in a porn theater. I don't think the masturbation claims were ever even substantiated. Meaning he lost his career because he legally watched porn in his personal free time."
It's a list that may drive you to check twice when you hear everyone bashing a historical figure. Perhaps some enemy of theirs began all that bashing.
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People can't function sometimes without being a magnet for drama. The good thing is, these people are also usually extremely bad at hiding their propensity for being involved in said drama.
People who put things on their social media like "I probably hate you," or something of the kind. You know immediately to run in the other direction.
Here were some of those answers.
Soyyy Drama Free
"'Drama free!! F**k the haters! I'm so real everyone else just can't handle it, people are just soooo fake.'"
"Usually embroiled in drama nonstop and their personality is about as deep as an inflatable toddler pool."-inducedjoy
Def The Kid Who Said "DIDNT WE HAVE HOMEWORK?!"
"Calls all mandatory meetings at 4:30 on Fridays."
"She will also push those meetings last minute to 5:30 because she's on client calls and regularly schedules stuff at noon because 'that's when everyone is available, you can just have lunch later.'"
"No, we can't... The one hour we're all available is lunch is because we're busy the other working hours of the day. The lack of respect for the team's time is wild."
"When we suggested maybe noon and 5:30 weren't great times for all hands meetings that should have been an email, she started scheduling them for 7:30am to respect our time. So considerate."-A_giant_dog
This Is Just Rude
"I was hanging out with the cute co-worker in the dining room between service. I guess the sunlight was shining on me, and she says, 'Y'know Bokb, I really love how you have such bright blue eyes and brown hair!'"
"I simply nodded and smiled really big, and she continues: 'I bet you were really handsome when you were younger.'"
"Yeah, big oof."-Bokb3o
Like, when someone does or says these things, you can't help but think about how much you'd rather they just sink into the void of oblivion.
Not Worthy Of Accolades
"If a person makes a big deal out of doing something that they should be doing anyway."
"EG: 'I take care of my kids,' 'I always tell the truth,' 'I'm always on time for work,' 'I shower regularly' etc etc that person is best avoided. They're usually anything but what they claim to be."-Johhnymaddog316
Run Away! Run Far Far Away!
"I have a co-worker that will cut your story off mid sentence to one up you with their own story that's barely even related to the topic at hand."
"They are so self involved (and long winded) that people will see him in the break room, and decide to take the elevator to one of the other break rooms on another floor. Lmao..."
"To clarify; Most of his stories are about how awesome New Jersey/New York is and how stupid Washington Staters are."
"After a while of being made fun of by him, I just wanna scream 'If you love Jersey so much, then MOVE BACK TO JERSEY!'"-conflictmuffin
Yeah, Don't Be A Jerk To Retail Workers
"Yelling at a checkout clerk at Walmart."
"I mean like seriously what could they have done to you to make you that upset. Maybe you need some anger management training."
"This happened at the self check out lane so I don't know what the Walmart check out clerk could have even done. I was in the next lane and my back was to this woman so I didn't see what happened."
"But this women kept yelling at the clerk 'I want to talk to your manager right now !!!'"
"Eventually they both walked up to the service desk together to get a manager. I felt sorry for the clerk ( and the manager !)"-Tuesday2017
You Really Need A New Outlet, Bro
"I know a guy that radiates insecurity about his masculinity."
"Any times he sees a person park slightly too close to his car, he starts going off about hypotheticals where if they scratched his paint, he'd slash their tires or he'd pull out his collapsible baton from his trunk and beat them up."
"He generally lies about anything and wants everyone to know that he is the strongest person in the room. He once told us that he did 100 lb arm curls with his shoulder dislocated."
"And how he has to constantly fight his sister every time he goes home because she is always trying to stab him, and that's how he learned hot to knife fight."
"Of course he also get really angry any time you even hint that he is exaggerating. He no kidding once punched himself in the face 5 times and spent the rest of the day pouting when someone told him that they didn't believe his stories.
Needless to say, no one enjoys talking to him."-ExplosiveMel
A moment around these people is enough to want to spend a lifetime avoiding them.
Just The Worst Person Ever
"Overly competitive for no reason, even on co-op games. If you win they get butthurt, if they win they throw it in your face. Makes jokes at other people's expense. Also can't ever take a joke back."
"Never grew out of the middle school days of bulling (wet willies, bean dips, wedgies, etc). Yells in arguments of any sort in order to 'win' the argument or not letting the other person talk."
"Pretends like they have never done anything wrong, even if they just did 10 mins beforehand. Finds the most low self esteem person in a group and puts them down to make themselves feel better about themselves."
"Will literally say something along the lines of: 'Yeah I know I'm an a**hole, you can ask any of my friends.'"-AskinggAlesana
Always The Victim, Never The Perpetrator
"Had a boyfriend for years who's ex wife was constantly making 'new best friends' with everyone. I finally met her, she seemed nice enough. Next thing you know she's inviting me over, wants me to do all kinds of stuff with her."
"My bfs mom called me and said don't trust her. His brother said don't trust her. My stupid self trusted her."
"Our 'friendship' posted about two weeks before she called CPS on my kid for mooning her kid. They were both 7. She said 'What about the trauma my child and I suffered because of you and your child?'"
Leave It In High School Bub
"There was a guy I went to school with up until the end of high school, and everyone (even teachers) hated him. He would constantly annoy everyone."
"He'd start sh*t with people for absolutely no reason. He'd interrupt the class regularly. He tried to act tough but when someone stepped up to him, he'd run away. He was nearly universally disliked everywhere he went."
"I had the misfortune of running into him a few months ago and he's still the same sh*t disturber he always was."
"He hasn't grown up, and he tried dragging me into petty drama that I frankly don't have the time nor patience for anymore. I told him not to speak to me again, and blocked him on everything I could think of."-yeetgodmcnechass
These people are peppered throughout the world and thankfully, are walking red flags that people can spot from miles away. However, that doesn't mean you can't start with caution in case one of them is hiding amongst the "normal" people.
The victims, the drama stirrers, the jerks, the bullies-they aren't worth your time or space. Don't give it to them.