Since we grow up in a world where it is assumed that we will be straight, we don't receive a lot of education on the LGBTQ+ community. Most places receive zero education, as decades of homophobia and gay erasure rear their ugly heads even in modern society.
So curiosity from straight people is natural. It's welcome. It only helps break down the walls between our communities.
u/l_a_z_y_b_u_g asked:
Straight people of reddit, what questions do you have for the LGBTQ community?
Here were some of those answers.
The Clever One First
What's on the gay agenda for today?
For the lesbians, today is gardening and obsessing over hot female actresses.
I mean we do that every day but whatever.
After polling my friends the answer seems to be animal crossing
Take Note, Straights!
What are the creepy or offensive things things that well-meaning non-lgbt people say?
The question "so which one is the girl and which one is the guy" is pretty offensive. We are not trying to fit ourselves in a straight mold. Were both girls/ were both guys. It's like the whole point.
Asking whose on top can be pretty intrusive if you don't know them well.
Asking a trans person their birth name or what's in their pants is super rude.
Hetlag
Are there "straight jokes"? Straight people use jokes about being gay all the time, especially guys.
I don't think it's the case for everybody but one of my group of friends is like 80% LGBT+ people and YES. So many jokes and puns about straight/cis people. But none of them are insults and I never heard a violent joke about straight people.
We DEFINILTY have jokes about the straights™ though. Like about heterophobia or straight pride.
This Is A Good Perspective, Listen Up
I'm not straight but I've always wanted to ask a trans person what they mean when they say they "feel like a man/woman". I guess it's probably not entirely tangible but I've always found it intriguing.
Imagine waking up every day of your life feeling like something's wrong. You're perfectly healthy, your life is great, but there's something wrong. You just don't know what.
The feeling gets worse when you look at yourself in a mirror, or see your body. It gets even worse when puberty starts and you watch your body change and you hate it, but you don't know why. There's just something wrong.
The feeling sometimes gets better when you look at people of the opposite sex (for me, girls). Sometimes, it gets worse and you get frustrated for no reason. Maybe you have a crush on one of those girls. Maybe you just want some attention from them. But then, if you had a crush on one of them, there would be some happiness. There just isn't. Never. Your life is great but you're miserable and you can't figure out why.
Then one day a random thought occurs. I wish I were a girl. Then you understand what was wrong with you all your life.
The way I experienced it, it's a mix of discomfort, longing, and envy. I wasn't comfortable with my body (mind you, I had an awful life, which is why I didn't explore these issues until I gained some control over it in my early 20s) because I was male. I was hoping something would change without really knowing what. I envied girls simply for being girls.
This might be controversial, but I wouldn't say I "feel" like a woman. I'm a woman. Just not physically, alas. Even now after successfully transitioning, I'm aware that I'm still biologically male. It still bothers me. But I can live my life as a woman and that's a massive weight off of my shoulders. I can look at my body or into a mirror. I wake up in the morning without that residual feeling that something is wrong. I am no longer miserable.
Identity is a difficult question and everyone has their own perception of it. I don't think you'll ever get a definite answer on your question. The best you can get is a variety of testimonials and personal experiences, few of which you will resonate with.
Moms Trying To Be Better
What do (or did) you need from your mom?
(Mom of a trans teenager. I do my best to support him, and want to learn to do better)
The most important thing is to affirm his identity. Use his new name and pronouns. Making mistakes is okay, but work on it.
Otherwise, help him protect himself. There is a ton of hate directed at transgender teens, and someone of his age isn't going to have the emotional maturity to deal with it all. Whenever someone wants to deny who he is, have his back.
If he hasn't started puberty blockers yet, it's 100% worth it. Puberty blockers now means no mastectomy later. And if he changes his mind later (he probably won't) they're mostly reversible.
It's Common Because Women Are Nice
How come it's common for a gay man to befriend straight women but it's uncommon for a lesbian to befriend straight men?
I'm gay and my sister a lesbian. My female friends have never requested to watch my husband and I have sex. Straight men are always asking my sister if they can watch my sister and her wife have sex. there's your answer.
Your First Gay Movie
I've been fortunate enough to have quite a few close friends who were gay in my lifetime, so I've got no "how do things work" kind of questions that haven't been answered.
However, one of my favorites that I always ask when we're in the process of becoming friends... If you're around my age (mid-30's), and a gay guy, did you first realize you might be gay when watching the volley ball scene in Top Gun? And if not, why are you lying to me about when you first realized you were gay?
I remember a reading an interview with John Cryer about Duckie in Pretty in Pink. And he was saying how people would come up to him and thank him because that's how they realized they were in the closet.
And he said he was kind of shocked because he didn't realize Duckie was closeted, but when he mentioned it to the other cast they all knew.
So, of course, that's when I first realized that Duckie was gay in that movie.
Beep Boop
How does "gaydar" work? How reliable is it?
Gaydar is just that... Recognizing that someone is likely to be LGBTQ. It can be based on any number of things - mannerisms, hair and clothes, subtle references and symbols that might not obvious to people who aren't "in the know," etc.
As to efficacy? Moderate? But there are also some false positives - people who are assumed to be LGBT but aren't.
The Gays. They're Everywhere.
What did you wish you knew as a teenager that you know now?
There are so many more gay people in this world than statistics shows, because may people are either still in the closet or don't come out as gay on any form of census.
Rage Against
As a father of a LGBTQ daughter how do I not rage at people who oppose the fact my daughter exist.
Lesbian here. You can have a little rage. As a treat.
Seriously though this comment made me smile. You seem like a wonderful dad. You don't have to hold in your anger at people who are pissed at your daughter for simply existing. Take the protective father stereotype and use it for good! :)
You know how when you hear the same thing over and over again, it kind of makes you want to kick someone in the shin? Yeah ... this article is totally about that.
Reddit user _ligaya asked:
LGBTQ+ people, what are you tired of hearing?
And if you, like me, foolishly thought that some of the more awful or annoying stereotypes had gone away, then brace yourself. They're still here in full effect. Here are some of the things that members of LGBTQ+ community are tired of hearing, both from outside and inside of the community.
In the words of Motormouth Maybelle: "Brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid."
A Character From NBC's 'Good Girls' Just Came Out As Trans In A Truly Powerful TV Moment
In a wonderful example of how coming out can go right, Good Girls character Sadie (Isaiah Stannard) came out to his mom after finding out his baby brother had been born.
After Sadie's mom Annie (Mae Whitman) assists her ex-husband's new wife, Nancy (Sally Pressman) with delivering her baby, she goes upstairs to check on Sadie.
After uttering the phrase "it's a boy," Annie goes to leave the room to take a shower but Sadie stops her.
After a poignant pause, Sadie says:
"So am I."
Annie's reaction is what has Twitter feeling all emotional. She pauses for a beat and begins to smile, then gives Sadie a hug.
Season 2, Episode 8: Sadie Reveals a Truth to Annie - Good Girls (Sneak Peek) youtu.be
There's no tears, or questions of "are you sure?" or "why would you do this to me?" that are all-too-common in other coming out portrayals. Just unconditional love and acceptance.
Good Girls tells the story of a trio of suburban moms who hold up a local grocery store after life leaves them little other option. The show follows them as they deal with the fallout of their crime, and the effect it has on their relationships.
There was, understandably, quite an emotional response to the episode on Twitter.
S O B B I N G AT SADIE COMING OUT AS TRANS ON GOOD GIRLS. WHAT A GOOD SCENE— sam 🌸⛄❄ (@sam 🌸⛄❄) 1555971517
this last episode of Good Girls made me wanna cry i love sadie sm n want to protecc him— gay barrymore (@gay barrymore) 1555990415
The visible (and oh-so-positive) representation of trans guys on television meant a lot to folks.
@NBCGoodGirls As a trans person who’s been watching the show since day one, this was such a beautiful and important… https://t.co/Fdy9bFtwvF— Juliana Antoninus (@Juliana Antoninus) 1555937154
As GLAAD points out, this is the kind of loving response every child deserves.
Awww… this sweet scene on @NBCGoodGirls ❤️ Every trans child deserves the loving response that Sadie receives fro… https://t.co/m3JZtpf4J2— GLAAD (@GLAAD) 1555947273
This clip from Good Girls shows just how easy it is to show your trans kid you love them. https://t.co/9PBb9B1aQQ— Zack Ford (@Zack Ford) 1556024267
Unfortunately, that isn't the reality for many trans folks.
okay so i was watching good girls and the son just came out as trans (totally called it) and his mom just smiled an… https://t.co/kuPHRM7hDN— grayson (@grayson) 1555901970
Trans representation in media is nearly non-existant, especially for transmasculine folks.
If there is a trans character in a show or film, they are almost always played by a cisgender actor.
Sadie, a transmasculine character, being played by a transmasculine actor, Isaiah Stannard, is an amazing step forward for the entertainment industry.
It's an exciting step for many.
anyways watch Good Girls for a show where a trans actor plays a trans person— tash (@tash) 1556008994
Isaiah posted to Instagram to thank fans for watching, and for their supportive comments.
If you haven't checked out Good Girls yet, you can watch it Sundays at 10 p.m. eastern on NBC.
DC may introduce that character into their canon as early as this coming Friday with the release of Shazam!
Shazam! tells the story of Billy Batson, a young teenager who is given powers spelled out by the acronym Shazam, the same name of the sorcerer who gives Batson the powers in the first place.
Batson has the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles and the speed of Mercury. These powers can be activated by saying the word "Shazam!"
The superpowered version Batson looks like an adult (played by Zachary Levi), though retains the mind of the teenager.
SHAZAM! Trailer (2019) www.youtube.com
Shazam! director David F. Sandberg teased to PinkNews that this Friday's release may include an upcoming and as-of-yet unannounced LGBTQ+ superhero.
Shazam! movie's Zachary Levi and Mark Strong on LGBT superheroes www.youtube.com
"Don't want to put spoilers [out there] or anything … but I think you will see one sooner rather than later," Sandberg says about the possible reveal.
"I think on April 5th it will become clear…"
The DC television universe has a few LGBTQ+ players.
There's, of course, Batwoman.
Ruby Rose, an out queer woman, will be Batwoman on the CW and this is just beyond exciting, I'M SCREAMING. Even t… https://t.co/iCXB2RLLA5— Alex Berg (@Alex Berg) 1533664826
@DoctorRagnarok Batgirl's (Batwoman) show debuts on The CW this fall. Fake outrage crowd needs to do their Googles. https://t.co/yBnUQvHpZq— Mr. Triple Double Kemba Walker🎅🏾😤 (@Mr. Triple Double Kemba Walker🎅🏾😤) 1554311252
John Constantine and Sara Lance from Legends Of Tomorrow:
DC''s Legends of Tomorrow 4x08 Constantine Kiss his Boyfriend and changes back Reality Full HD www.youtube.com
Legends of Tomorrow 3x12 - Sara and Ava scene 4 "first kiss" www.youtube.com
Alex Danvers from Supergirl:
Alex Danvers || 2x06 || "You're Gay Too?" || Alex Coming Out to Kara www.youtube.com
In addition to countless more in the many different "Earths" that the universe contains.
However, the inclusion in the cinematic universe has been extremely lacking, so fans are waiting in serious anticipation.
Marvel : We now have a black superhero so you can relate. Oh look… now we have a female one. Next up, an Asian, and… https://t.co/FmE3FLacn7— ᴊᴏᴇ ʟᴇᴇ (@ᴊᴏᴇ ʟᴇᴇ) 1554201539
#shazam #shazammovie loved it #latino #asian #gay maybe superhero finally a movie my friends and I can see https://t.co/5ZYLhnpMh4— Alex Gonzales (@Alex Gonzales) 1553402948
However, sci-fi and fantasy LGBT representation needs to up its game as a whole.
You know what? I would not say no to a gay Puerto Rican/diasporican superhero who has to try and explain that he's… https://t.co/AeRQ70YE2a— New Year, Same Rage (@New Year, Same Rage) 1554333684
Yesterday at Tampa Pride they had a Star Wars float and it was everything I needed 👏🏽😫 Chewbacca said gAY RIGHTS!!! https://t.co/pN4SKRS3re— Sheri Diabla 🥀 (@Sheri Diabla 🥀) 1554046443
As of May last year, LGBTQ+ people made up an estimated 4.5% of the population of the USA. That means about 1 in every 40 people are gay.
In a universe containing 200 characters, for instance, at least 5 gay characters should statistically be present. But LGBTQ+ stories are often ignored.
Will DC seek to change this with its new superhero?
We'll be looking forward to Friday to find out.
Texas Man's Response To Woman Telling Him She's Trans Honestly Gives Us So Much Hope
We are in the middle of a serious rough patch for trans people in the USA.
After Donald Trump's trans ban in the military and the Supreme Court upholding said ban, 2019 is not off to a good start for trans people. So seeing even one modicum of hope for trans people can help.
Tiffany Monroe, a 22-year-old YouTuber, has been walking us through her journey as a transgender woman.
Q&A; GET TO KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME! www.youtube.com
Trans women often have trouble dating because men are the worst.
But Tiffany shared that she was trans with this one guy and this was what she got back:
"It is the bare minimum but when you are in a society that treats trans women like dirt, we can be happy about the little wins we do get," Monroe said.
Some of the internet was really moved by this:
@tiffanymonroee @choco_flann Girl RIDE HIS FACE INTO THE SUNSET— ✨Miss Big Dick✨ (@✨Miss Big Dick✨) 1551679623
@tiffanymonroee https://t.co/9M6WMMqwfu— RAYE🤍 (@RAYE🤍) 1551672342
@tiffanymonroee A cis king— loverboy LLC. (@loverboy LLC.) 1551641185
Transgender people are often the victims of hate crimes.
In 2018, 26 trans people were murdered.
The government's continued agenda against the transgender community has no doubt contributed to the rise of violence against them.
@tiffanymonroee WHERE ARE THESE GUYS???— 💕Kimbarely💕 (@💕Kimbarely💕) 1551643915
@tiffanymonroee @IWriteAllDay_ LMAO @ “...so what you talking about exactly. It’s 2019” 😂 He legit just looked at y… https://t.co/Wy4HZ074LC— Dr. Erin Corbett, AG of Wakanda (@Dr. Erin Corbett, AG of Wakanda) 1551765331
@tiffanymonroee a MAN— PETTY♡PRINCE$$ (@PETTY♡PRINCE$$) 1551641745
Sadly, even with this, Monroe received hate.
We won't share it here because it's horrendous.
But we will share what she said back to the haters:
We prefer the positive energy because that is where we stand too.
@tiffanymonroee @jinfucc I’m here for this energy. https://t.co/ejMzWDIkjG— Walty Walt (@Walty Walt) 1551719404
@tiffanymonroee I love this sooo much 😭♥️ this genuinely makes me sooo happy for you!— semen demon 👻 (@semen demon 👻) 1551652623
@tiffanymonroee This. Guy. Is. A. Babe. 😍💜— Lucy 🎃 🏳️🌈 ⚢🧜♀️🦋 (@Lucy 🎃 🏳️🌈 ⚢🧜♀️🦋) 1551692701
In 2019 we are only stanning open-minded men.
You got that, male population?
@tiffanymonroee As a person who is working on her transition, I approve these messages!— Ana Eckert (@Ana Eckert) 1551796392
@tiffanymonroee @FeministaJones A big part of me is like "cherish that man!!" and then another part of me is like,… https://t.co/HSwqYSA4R2— Graham Brulee (@Graham Brulee) 1551675912
@tiffanymonroee the king i wanna be 😩😩— ✨LuminatedLune✨ (@✨LuminatedLune✨) 1551670977
But just remember: the goal here is to make this the new LOW.
Not a high. We have a lot of work to do, fellow citizens.