You know how when you hear the same thing over and over again, it kind of makes you want to kick someone in the shin? Yeah ... this article is totally about that.
Reddit user _ligaya asked:
LGBTQ+ people, what are you tired of hearing?
And if you, like me, foolishly thought that some of the more awful or annoying stereotypes had gone away, then brace yourself. They're still here in full effect. Here are some of the things that members of LGBTQ+ community are tired of hearing, both from outside and inside of the community.
In the words of Motormouth Maybelle: "Brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid."
LGBTQ+ people, what are you tired of hearing?
And if you, like me, foolishly thought that some of the more awful or annoying stereotypes had gone away, then brace yourself. They're still here in full effect. Here are some of the things that members of LGBTQ+ community are tired of hearing, both from outside and inside of the community.
In the words of Motormouth Maybelle: "Brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid."
Bye Bye Bi
GiphyYou're not part of the LGBT+ community if you're in a "straight" relationship.
But you're not bi anymore, you chose your side -after entering a "hetero" marriage
Bi characters are always considered straight or gay depending on their current partner. Let us have our bi rep! I also find it a little annoying when people try to pin "gay" onto bi people, even though it's not the same thing. So many people and characters have their bi identity forgotten because they're called gay instead. Freddy Mercury (real person) and Rose Quartz (character), for example. Or "gay pride month" even though pride month is for the whole acronym.
LGBT stands for Lesbian, gay... looks at writing on hand ...b-biscotti? Bionicle? Bionicle. And trans.
What's the most frustrating is that I hear it more from lesbians and gays than anyone hetero! A lot of my hetero friends just accept it, sometimes maybe joke that I sure have a lot more options than them, and that's it.
My gay friend flatly asked me why the hell I consider myself a member of LGBT, because of my 4 partners I only had one woman. To him the world consists only of gays & hetero who may "experiment" a bit.
"Not A Threat"
I am not gay but I have had other men mistakenly think I was gay to where they go into a speech of how they are cool with me being gay. I can see how that gets old quick. Like, even if I was gay I don't need your permission for it to be okay.
In response to people thinking it is okay to do because it let's people know you are not a threat just realize it might be better to say nothing. That is how you show acceptance by simply treating them like everyone else. Also if you think that telling people you are not a threat works then go ahead and explain to strangers you're not a murderer, what is the first thought that is gonna pop into their head?
My god, I said "my husband" at work the other day - just started a new job - and immediately got a "Husband? Well just so you know I've never had an issues with gays, it's a free country -"
Like dude can we just get back to discussing anime wtf?
- Caspiir
That's the equivalent of a white person telling every black person they meet "I voted for Obama."
- Wild0ats
You Don't Look Trans...
"You don't look trans!!!!!!!!" Yeah, for me that's the whole point.
I'm a trans woman.
Hearing, "You don't look trans" or variations of that is really kind of gross to hear, it makes it seem like it's inherently bad to be trans and makes it sound like, "You're not like those other trans people! You actually look ok."
In the end, trans people just want to be treated the same way as everyone else. If you're going for a gendered compliment just compliment a trans woman as you would a cis woman, a trans man as you would a cis man, and nonbinary people as you would anyone (just stick to gender neutral for nonbinary people.)
Don't mention the trans thing. I know I pass, but putting that "You don't look really trans!" kind of implies that looking trans is bad.
Compliment my hair or style. Better, compliment my intelligence or nerdiness. Best? Compliment my puns.
Not That Powerful
Giphy"Have you tried the other gender, you might like it." I could ask you the same thing dude
Or "I could turn you straight." Trust me, your dick ain't that powerful.
- ackorna
A Victim
"You're a victim of the gay agenda."
Yeah the homos kidnapped me and forced me to have sex with women until I loved it.
Political
I'm tired of being told my existence is political. Just me existing. That's too political.
Gay person in fiction: exists
A large part of society: "WHY IS THIS BEING POLITICIZED, GOD."
- GabuEx
Feminine Validity
That feminine lesbians are less valid because they are straight passing. Irritates the hell out of me, because our community wants acceptance within the wider community, yet we don't even offer it ourselves. It makes no sense.
Nobody Is Converting Anyone.
Straight men to lesbians, "i can turn you straight." How would you feel if a gay man came up to you and said, " i can turn you gay." Awkward right?
- Sqvip
Also not fun when women do it, drunk cougars are the bane of gay bars. They always get so gropey and rapey, especially in groups like bachelorette parties.
I call that the "Magic Dick Syndrome." Lesbian? It's because you never tried MY dick. Headache? We should have sex so it'll pass. Asexual? I'm sure that I could make you like it.
Some guys just believe their dick is a magic stick that will save the world.
Two Jokes
"I identify as an attack helicopter"
- Kelggg
THIS! also "did you just assume my gender??!??!??!?!?!!!"jokes
Transphobes have exactly two jokes about trans people, both of which have gone unchanged since 2014, and neither of which are funny.
- Bugsecks
Forced
"Don't force that gay stuff on me."
Said to me by someone seeing my rainbow bracelet. I didn't even know who they were.
I hear this stuff all the time about every little gay thing that ever happens, and it's exhausting when we live in a society literally built on catering to the straight experience.
Pedophiles and Veterans
GiphySaying that pedophiles are in the LGBT community - cuz no. And the "Veterans don't have a month they get TWO DAYS!" Well, dumbass, yes they do. The month of May is Military Appreciation Month.
- Becca_tm
People think gay men are more likely to be pedophiles, but it's factually not true. Predominantly, pedophiles are heterosexual. Just like statistically, a child will most likely be murdered by a parent or close friend/relative of the parent, not a stranger.
The things you learn in psychology of murder.
As a veteran, I am tired of non-vets using my "service" as fuel for their bull. Many of us are forced to make a choice between selling my health, safety, and time for 6 years to the government or end up poor with no options. Yeah, having a 'month' will sure help me with my plethora of post-service health conditions.
- Aranoxx
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.