LGBTQ students in sex ed class be like, "Uhhhh, I think you forgot about me."
1. I wish I was taught that there is a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, and that having a crush on someone does not equal wanting to have sex with them. Really, if I knew Asexuality was a thing back then, my life would have been so much easier. I found out I was Asexual from the internet, and everything suddenly made sense.
2. Never got told that girls could masturbate, or one might go about sexual pleasure with anything other than a penis. And that was in a liberal country this side of the millennium.
3. I went to school in a small, mostly conservative town in the bible belt. I just wish we weren't told "abstinence was the only thing we needed to know," or that people in the LGBT community were "living in sin", even though I went to a public school.
I was terrified of going straight to hell just for existing most of my middle school and early high school years, I'm trans and I didn't have someone tell me that God made me the way I am for a reason and to be myself until I was 15.
4. Just that it exists. At all. That would've been great. Also, that it's not one or the other (gay or straight). Because if you fall under the B, like me, it's confusing and lonely.
5. I wish I was taught that Lesbian/Queer women can contract venereal diseases from having sex with other women. Even now, education about STDs even in LGBTQ communities seem to be geared towards queer men.
6. Orgasms are complicated and different women reach them in different ways. Straight people need to know (Continued)
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Straight people need to know this as well, but honestly as a lesbian I really wish I had been told this earlier in my life.
7. I wish someone had taught us kids-with-vaginas that losing your virginity 1) doesn't have to involve a penis, and 2) isn't supposed to hurt.
8. 1) That whatever is sex to you is sex. There doesn't have to be a penis and a vagina. There doesn't even have to be penetration.
2) That it's not wrong, or gross, or sinful. These are all things I was told by teachers and administrators I trusted.
3) That nonconsensual sex doesn't exist. Nonconsensual sex is rape.
9. The fact that women are able to orgasm without vaginal penetration probably would have been good to cover. Not exclusively an LGBT sex-ed issue, but I mostly pondered over it in the context of how I (a pansexual cis-woman) would be able to bang someone else with a vagina without a dildo or something.
10. Bisexuality exists, and that there isn't an either/or realm to box one's self into. I would have had more fun early on.
11. I went to a religious school where I was taught gay sex is a sin. Most of my friends turned out to be gay...
12. Heteroflexibility! I'm a straight man who had only ever dated women, and only really found myself attracted to women, until I met one man who I fell for real hard. I kept assuming I was gay or bisexual or something, but when we broke up I (Continued)
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I kept assuming I was gay or bisexual or something, but when we broke up I never met another man who I fell for again. The language around labels made me feel like a fraud, or that the whole thing was just a phase, but then I learned what heteroflexibility is. That's me! I'm a straight man who fell for another man one time because we had irresistible chemistry.
Donald
13. That lady-on-lady sex isnt about substituting a penis.
14. Learn that you dont always have to be a straight/cisgender person, that the sexualities are not just straight, gay and bisexual and that a person doesnt always have to be male or female. And how to protect ourselves during sex if, for us, sex doesnt mean penis entering a vagina.
15. I wish I was told that Im not weird or broken because I dont want to have sex.
16. That there is a spectrum to sexuality and that you dont have to know just yet because figuring out your desire can be a long process for some. Also to not assume, but ask other people how they feel or want to be addressed.
17. How do you prepare yourself for anal sex?
How does lesbian sex work?
Can I have sex with myself if I am asexual?
How much should you wait between pooping and anal?
18. As a young bisexual male, Ive always wondered why (Continued)
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Ive always wondered why some people (mostly straight guys) instantly assume you like men. Did they not hear the bi part? It always gets on my nerves!
19. I wish I knew about anal douches (that cleans out the anus to prevent poop on your shaft) and also that you need to use lube Lots of lube.
20. That sometimes the equipment wont work, or your body isnt cooperating in that moment, especially if you arent used to an exit being used as an entrance. That it may take you a couple (painful) tries to make it happen. And that that is okay.
21. Im not a girl but I dont think Im a guy either. I wish I had known that it was a possibility.
-Anonymous
22. I just wish our teachers were allowed to answer questions about other sexualities. I knew a girl who was in a class where a boy asked how gay men fit a penis inside of another penis and the teacher was not legally allowed to tell him that it wasnt possible because that was talking about gay sex, which isn't legal where I go to school. I just wish questions were encouraged. I didnt need a formal education I just needed to know I was allowed to explore and learn.
23. That lesbian portrayals of sex in porn and in most media are completely false.
-Anonymous
24. Honestly I just wished they had taught us more about different sexualities. I always thought my only two options were straight or gay, so I (Continued)
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I always thought my only two options were straight or gay, so I figured the girls I thought were pretty were just people I wanted to be friends with, because I definitely liked men as well. Up until my senior year my concept of bisexuality was college girls making out with each other to impress boys.
25. That you can define what sex is for yourself, to be gay is not all about 'dat ass' (though if it is for you that is cool)
26. What some common signs were of same gender attraction.
27. Especially from a health perspective gay teens are one of the most at risk groups for getting std's (especially aids). LGBT youth need to be educated on safe sex practices, many of them are coming from straight parents, who might not have the right answers when it comes to sex and gender questions.
28. Dental dams exist.
29. There's this kind of perception that sexual abuse / rape doesn't really happen in the LGBTQ community, mostly because people think male / female means a natural power imbalance that cannot translate to the queer community in the same way. Believe me, a woman can be abusive to another woman, and a man can abuse another man. It took me far too long to learn that the hard way.
Anonymous
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30. I am conflicted on this. On one hand, I want people to learn as much as they can. On the other hand, I don't trust lower level educators to be qualified in this matter. Heck, most aren't even that knowledgeable about their respective fields. I think they should though if they are properly trained. I wouldn't want a repeat of when I was a kid and our health teacher (an assistant football coach) just bashed suicidal people as selfish and tried to guilt trip anyone out of potentially doing it. As a severely bullied kid and suicidal at the time, this sure as hell did not help and only made me feel worse.
[deleted]
31. If you are a woman dating women and you buy a dildo with your partner, it's not just because you want to have a penis or you "miss a penis". Honestly, I wish someone had told me that it was just about pleasure and happens to be phallic shaped because that's the shape that fits. Duh! I felt so weird about it until one of my partners explained it to me.
Cara
32. HIV isn't a death sentence. I know this is a straight issue, too. Every time I learned about other gay people, I learned it in connection with disease, specifically HIV and AIDS. And when either were mentioned, it was nearly immediately connected to death. There is so much more to it than that.
Colby
33. I wish they taught that just because you're gay doesn't mean you automatically want to bang every person of that gender in the room. It would have helped, I think, in terms of not having every dude in my class assume I'm hitting on them after I came out. Like, just because I like men doesn't make you any more attractive to me than you are to all the straight girls who aren't hitting on you either.
Randomdude
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.