It's a lurking question.[rebelmouse-image 18347036 is_animated_gif=
It's something that's coming up more and more in modern relationships. How does Polygamy affect kids? Does it, at all? In theory there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it unless there's a lack of consent or communication.
u/Jaizoo asked Reddit:
Children of polyamorous/polygamist parents, how was your childhood and when did you understand? Did it affect your idea of love?
Here were some of the answers.
Jealousy[rebelmouse-image 18347037 is_animated_gif=
My parents were in an open relationship until around the time I was 17. I didn't know what an "open" relationship was until I was 8, but people in my life would keep making jokes about it that I suddenly understood once I got it.
To be honest, it was really rough. Not only did my parents pursue people that I had already known (such as my classmates' parents), but from time to time they would get very serious with one of their other partners. My mom in particular was in a secondary relationship with another woman from the time I was 3 until I was 14 years old. She was basically like a second mother to me, and when it finally all "blew up", I never saw her again and began to feel like it was a problem with me and not my parents.
I also felt insanely jealous of the other partners when I was younger. I felt like my parents cared about them more than me and that they would leave me to go and start a new family with them.
I didn't mean to paint the whole experience as negative! There were a few positives, and I feel like because of how open my parents were about their situation dating was a lot easier for me than other people. Plus the extra Christmas presents were always a bonus.
Afterthought[rebelmouse-image 18346705 is_animated_gif=
My observations are that a lot of kids who grow up in what the adults considered to be poly households just thought of it as "dad is banging the babysitter" "mom has a special friend." Not everybody, obviously, but I think a lot of what goes on in sex positive circles, and has gone on since the 70s, is fundamentally about adults. Children are an afterthought. Not everyone, not always, but the Heinleinian fantasy of sexually liberated emotionally stable adults raising children together? I've never seen it and I have seen a LOT of poly.
I've also seen a lot of het poly situations break up over paternity concerns.
Generally, the kids I know who grew up with any kind of poly around them overwhelmingly decline to repeat the experiment themselves. There are very prominent exceptions, like Sugar Baranco, but generally speaking I observe children of any kind of poly situation, no matter how stable, grow up to seek monogamous partnering.
Moira Greyland's book is the really the only book I've read that gives a sense of what growing up around this all was like, although it's politically problematic for a lot of people and badly needed better editing.
A Whole Different Issue[rebelmouse-image 18347038 is_animated_gif=
I found out a few months ago that my parents apparently had an open relationship when I was a kid.
It didn't affect me at all. They had an adult life which I didn't know about. They were very open about sexuality, but they also recognized the line between healthy discussions of sex and oversharing.
My childhood was sh-t, but that had nothing to do with their polyamorous life choices.
A New Perspective[rebelmouse-image 18347040 is_animated_gif=
I grew up with lesbian parents who were not polyamorous, but my biological father (sperm donor) has always played a big role in my life and he's been happily in a three person relationship with two other guys for the past 25(?) years. I grew up in New Zealand and they lived on the other island to mine, so as a kid/teenager I regularly (once or twice a year) went up to stay with them as a mini holiday. Think of my dad and his partners as uncle-type figures in my life, which was super important for me as a growing boy given that I come from a family of mostly women.
I honestly respect their relationship so much more than anyone else I can think of. Its open, and entirely based on the love they have for each other (and others). In my dad's view, if you really love somebody then you want what's best for them, you don't want to put restrictions on their freedom to do things in their life. If someone does feel the need to put restrictions on the freedom of their partner, he thinks that it may be rooted in the insecurities they have about themselves, which is their own problem to be fixed within themselves. Mostly, he just believes in love; sexual, romantic, familial, or anything in between - which I totally respect and am open to.
There are so many other things about their relationship that I value, but that's the gist of it. One of my siblings doesn't get on that well with my dad due to personality clashes but I like to look for the best in people, and I think that he has a lot going on for him in his ability to live his life the way HE wants to. Growing up in a relatively conservative family I feel very proud of him to be at this point in his life where he's able to truly express himself.
Meh[rebelmouse-image 18347041 is_animated_gif=
I grew up with a dad who had 3 wives. My mum was the second wife before divorcing him. He replaced her about two years later. This may have contributed to how 'meh' I am about relationships, I have never felt the need to be in one because mainly, I never saw the benefit of being in one as a woman. Every woman was just... 'one of' as opposed to having her own identity.
Swingas[rebelmouse-image 18347042 is_animated_gif=
Do swingers count? My parents do freaky things, that is their bag. It's still them the two of them at the end for nearly 40 years.
I had a lovely childhood with loving parents, who behind closed doors did big ol freaky.
Edit: my parents had a really open and liberal attitude to sex and relationships. They never minded about my clothes or boy friends. They were more concerned about underage drinking and unsupervised underage parties. (18 is the drinking age)
In early uni I was friends with some diverse people. One of them saw an ad in a swingers magazine that sounded like them, showed me, I asked them. Mum and Dad responded by doing their embarrassment lies. I mean I would do the clothes washing twice a week, I knew they had some odd night clothes.
It was a bit of a meh response from me. I can't really judge them. They never judge me.
Now I'm in my 30s I just give them light hearted shit about their retiree swinger parties and hip replacements whenever they ask me about grandkids.
Don't Be Selfish[rebelmouse-image 18347045 is_animated_gif=
I grew up in an "extended family"
It wasn't until I was about 15 that I learned what that meant.
I had several half-siblings, and several "aunts and uncles" that were just around and part of our life. (In a good way)
When my younger siblings and I learned the truth, it was all at the same time. I count myself lucky that I was 'old enough' to rationalize it; by my two younger siblings were not. (11 and 13 respectively when we learned)
My next youngest sibling has only just held down his first serious relationship and they're getting on 30 yrs old. Everything up to that was casual encounters and pushing away anyone who got too close.
My youngest sibling was 11 when they found out; and it wrecked them as well. They developed an "ultra cling, then ultra dump" cycle - fall madly in love for 4 weeks, then distance.
I think that as long as parents' choices on their personal life are kept away from the children, and that _most importantly _the primary parents / care givers of the children are able to role model a healthy and loving relationship; then it doesn't matter.
But the warning I'd give, is that if that blows up and become an issue while the children are still maturing and creating their own identities, it can have a big impact.
Resentment[rebelmouse-image 18347046 is_animated_gif=
I grew up in a Mormon family that practiced polygamy. My father had three wives, my mom being the last and youngest. Things were pretty okay as a child - it was pretty neat having three moms. If I couldn't get something from one of them I'd ask another. Seriously. Having lots of brothers and sisters was pretty chill, too. Although, in retrospect I probably didn't get the individualized attention I may have needed as a child. My dad and I both agree on this point nowadays.
Anyway, my blissful existence changed around the time I was 14/15. We woke up to find that wife #2 had moved herself and her children out in the middle of the night. These were my sisters and brothers, we were devestated. My parents tried to protect us from a lot of the fallout, but it was pretty inevitable.
I'm 30 now, and don't really have any relationships with my half brothers and sisters from either wife. My mom and dad remain happily married in a mongoamus relationship, and I have my two full siblings to love on. As I've gotten older though, i've learned that the houshold was not as happy as I may have thought it was. There was a lot of resentment to go around but no one was forced into anything either. Everyone went into it as consenting adults.
I don't know if it's effected my view of love. Polygamy would never be for me, I'm far too selfish for that. So long as there is consent among ALL parties, and open communication if someone wants to do it I really don't care. A lot of my extended family is still FLDS and I love them.
Love Don't Cost A Thing[rebelmouse-image 18347048 is_animated_gif=
Well this is something I can actually answer. My childhood was mostly normal with the exception of more parental figures. It is hard to get away with childish hijinks when you have 8 or so parents, and I suppose you react to that situation in two ways. Like my sister, in which you get really good at hiding your really bad stuff behind a smoke screen of constant misbehavior, or like me in which is mostly don't do anything. I understood that my family was different pretty late in life. I didn't even really figure out that god parents were much closely involved with my actual parents, or that the "friends" that stayed over sometimes were actually their boyfriend/girlfriends until probably middle school. I didn't really care though, they were as much family to me after I figured it out as before.
As for if it affected my idea of love is hard to say because my ideas about love are non-standard, both to societies and my parents. I'm much more open to open relationships that most people and find monogamy stifling even though I don't date much. But unlike my parents I find the very concept of marriage to be abhorrent. The idea that people need a contract to show someone that they love that they love them is so ridiculous to me that I can't fathom why anyone would bother outside of tax benefits. But my parents were married, and my god parents were legally married, and they were all handfasted. I honestly thing all things being the same if my parents were monogamous, I think my ideas would still be similar to what they are now but it is impossible to test.
The Lies[rebelmouse-image 18347049 is_animated_gif=
I'm a teenager but not living with my polyamorous dad but this is still happening.
My father impregnated a woman, and she gave birth to a girl. They weren't married and my half sister grew up relatively estranged with her mother. Then he met my mother, got her pregnant (with me) and married her right after. He then had three more kids with her, two girls and another son. Then they broke up (messily) and my dad ran away to be with his best friend who is a lesbian. I don't understand all of it since I mostly grew up with my mom but my dad now has three wives including the lesbian woman. He also has 7 children with those three women.
I hate my father. He's evil and manipulated all of us to believe everything he says. He's really good at making friends, and he has this reputation of being 'Jesus like.' He even plays into the image by having long hair and a really long beard. My dad calls himself a Christian but he's a cheat. He claimed to be a contractor (he's not) and cheated his church into paying for really bad construction work. He's the definition of a narcissist, he has claimed all of these crazy things. He said he broke his hand but his wives (by the way, he's in his late 30's, two of his wives are in their early 20's) healed it by praying. He said that he has synesthesia (a form of autism according to him) which allows him to detect personality types. He lies so much, he told all of us that he has a liver condition that is treatable by some expensive drug or some bacteria in hops. In normal people language, that means he's an alcoholic.
I know that turned into a rant about hating my dad but there's little to like about him. And it's sad knowing that almost 10 of my other siblings have been conditioned into seeing him as some great man other than the crazy hack he really is. My eldest half sister and my full siblings are the only ones who are old enough to understand this. And we have the advantage of growing up somewhat detached from him. Although I admit I used to be underneath his spell, he used to tell us to report our mother to the police for being abusive and stuff like that.
I've anonymously tipped off CPS a few times about my young half siblings' living situation to no avail. They live in a really cramped house with no heating, a barely functional kitchen and not enough hot water to clean everyone. My dad doesn't use protection, if the 12 kids wasn't evidence of it enough already.
Oh also, I really like how I'm named after him, and the other 11 of us have names that start with the same initial as him. I'm changing my name as soon as I turn 18.
My mother's family has always been against my dad's living situation. But my dad always said that it's because they were ignorant and didn't understand love. My dad and his three wives are God's will according to him. I always ignored my family. I had cancer when I was a kid and I didn't have a lot of time to develop mentally. So I think that's why it took a long time for me to understand how messed up things were. I always felt a connection to my dad since we share the same name and he made me feel special by saying stuff like it's God's will for me to have cancer. And how it inspired him to start a charity to help kids like me who have cancer. The charity hasn't done anything in several years by the way, but someone who said they worked for him messaged me saying he uses his charity to write off things as tax free.
Cool[rebelmouse-image 18347050 is_animated_gif=
So I'm seeing quite a few negative experiences on here. I feel bad for the people who did because as a child you don't have control over your upbringing or how you feel/process what's going on. As for me it was a very neutral/positive upbringing.
For starters, I grew up with a dad and two mom's. Myself and my friends growing up all thought it was different but cool. There's always someone home when I got home from school. Always someone to talk when I had problems. It was nice.
First time I realized my parents were swingers was when we'd visit other families for major holidays like Halloween parties and things like that. It was a yearly tradition and it was great to see all the other kids around my brother and I age. Wed hang out and do kid stuff while the adults talked and sh-t.
As we got a bit older we started noticing little things. Like why is "Mr. Smith giving Mrs. Johnson a foot massage? Mr. Johnson might get mad..oh wait he doesn't care?? They're just chatting it up like its all good. Whelp okay then."
But to be fair to my family and their friends they were always great to us kids. Never felt neglected or like we were weird or anything. My family was always very sex positive but also taught me that sex is a private thing. So we were never exposed to anything other seeing adult humans being a bit more affectionate to each other then you'd expect. But I always thought that was kind of sweet, even as a kid. Like why aren't more people like that? I was always told growing up that whatever your preferences are, however you swing, as long as it's safe and consensual it's okay. Nobody needs to know your business though and it's nobody's fucking business either. Be yourself and be happy.
Though reading through these posts again I feel like I mightve gotten a lucky draw being born into a swinger "community" of sorts (I guess?) and living in a very liberal area.
Mormon Or Polygamy Is The Issue?[rebelmouse-image 18346913 is_animated_gif=
Obligatory not me, but my wife. Her dad was a polygamist and it gets weird. He was with a woman, J, and had about 5 kids with her. While with J he got with L, and L convinced her sister S to get with him. He had 5 kids with S of which my wife is one of them. The entire relationship ended because he legally married L which was a deal breaker for J & S. My wife and her siblings are pretty open about their dad being an idiot, and I dont think it effected her idea of love nearly as much as being Mormon did.
Baby Sitter[rebelmouse-image 18347051 is_animated_gif=
My childhood was okay as far as a loving family is concerned. All of the bad things didn't have to do with my parent's choice of relationship style, just life happening to people.
Anyway, I was thoroughly loved and raised around many people that cared about me. I had many "babysitters" that were more likely my parent's girlfriends. I was always around an open attitude towards sex, relationships, and towards the "outsiders" of society. My parents spoke about minorities (racial, sex, gender, class, etc) as if there was nothing different from them, so in my eyes, there never has been any differences.
I didn't really understand that my parents lived "differently" until I was an adult, maybe 23-25yo. Everything just kind of made sense all of a sudden.
I've become that which I never understood. I'm happily married and I've been with my wife for 14.5 years now. We have dated women together for about 7 years. We have a girlfriend right now and she's very lovely. I hope that she's in my life for a very long time and my wife feels the same towards her. I'm a very lucky man. They're both so amazing.
Social Safety Net[rebelmouse-image 18347052 is_animated_gif=
I'm a little late to this but my parents are polygamous. My dad has 3 wives. I'd say my childhood was pretty good. I especially loved growing up with lots of siblings. They've always been like a social safety net. To this day my siblings are my best friends. We all grew up together in one house as a family so I always knew the other two wives as my mom's. It wasn't until I started school that I realized it wasn't normal. As far as my idea of love? I think it gave me a more liberal view. I grew up seeing people attack or judge my parents for loving each other and their kids while hurting nobody. It made me think everybody should just mind their own business about who somebody loves as long as all parties are consenting adults. And on a more personal level, seeing my parents interact with each other and overcome their jealousies taught me that love is more than just an emotion. It's a commitment. That being said, I don't think I could ever commit to more than one person. I'm not that selfless????.
Mental Health[rebelmouse-image 18347053 is_animated_gif=
Reading this post over my wife's shoulder encouraged me to finally join reddit. So you could say this is an important topic to me.
My parents were monogamous until I was about 13 and my older siblings had moved out. They were pretty much done with parenting and decided to develop their relationship "to its next stage". The process wasn't always mutual, and there were a lot of power plays. That meant an open marriage for a few years, a second wife for about a year, and then a marriage with another couple. It was all happening as I was a young teenager, and it was pretty F'ing intense. Try to imagine the emotional brinkmanship that goes into changing a relationship that drastically in just a few years. The second husband couldn't handle it, tried to take his insecurities out on me and then left. They were very honest and open, we had emotional processing discussions all together in the living room, and no one wore clothes in the jacuzzi, but I sure as hell didn't share any of this with my friends. I lied my way through high school.
Many of you have said not to bring kids up in this environment. I'm not certain that's a hard and fast rule IF the relationship is polygamous BEFORE they're born, because some people here have been fine with that when that's how life started. But I definitely agree that you should not turn a kid's world upside down while they're in the house. If my parents would have listened, I would have told them to wait until after I moved out.
Also, side effect, it pisses me off that when occasionally I have gone to a counselor ('cause mental health is a thing, you know) like when my parents got sick, then passed away, combined with career change or parenting stress, the counselors always want to talk about this for like 3 sessions. It's just too titillating for them to ignore. Moths to the flame. I'm like, "I came to you with a problem about grief. Don't get off on how my parents hopped from bed to bed while you're billing me." I'm serious, but it's also funny.
How has it affected my relationships? I went on exactly one date during all of high school, and was invited to one party that wasn't a friend's birthday party. As soon as I moved out and went away to college, I found a girl within a week and dated her happily for a few years. Never had a problem finding a good woman to be with, and never wanted to be with more than one. It has probably also made me much more aware of emotional communication and how important it is to avoid playing games with other people's feelings. I've been married for 20 years now and have no intention of opening my marriage.
Reading about some of the kids currently in this situation, especially where there is dishonesty or games being played, is very upsetting to me. I wish them all strength, and the clarity to know that their parents' crap belongs to their parents and not them. Don't let anyone else judge you based on what your parents do.
Need A Functioning Unit[rebelmouse-image 18347054 is_animated_gif=
My story is essentially biology becoming destiny. My dad was profoundly catholic, he later became a theologian. I was raised in mostly traditional values with the exception of birth-control, they were all for it. I went on to become fairly traditionally minded myself, peaking at around 21 years old. Just a catholic boy from catholic parents.
Then I had a terrible crisis of faith and started questioning everything. I came to realize that I didn't relate to monogamy and exclusivity at all, and that the only reason I was "faithful" even to my f-ckbuddies, was because I wanted to protect their feelings even if it was a pain. I wasn't jealous at all myself, so I started to pursue a serious open relationship because I honestly thought it was the perfect match for my temperament and my emotional style.
The time came when I disclosed to my mother that I wasn't monogamous, and she replied "You are just like your father". I thought she joked for a second. Apparently he had persuaded her to try swinging in the early years of their relationship, but she was never really into it. Most of the tension in their relationship came from that. It completely shattered the image I had of my parents.
I had been watching some lectures about sexual behaviour in humans and other animal species, and how the tendency towards promiscuity it was highly inheritable. It also came associated with a lot of other psychological and physical traits, and my father happened to tick most of the boxes. Surprise, surprise, so did I.
So I was raised to be exclusively monogamous, rebelled against it, embraced polyamory, realized I had been following in my father's footsteps the whole time. It's like he had built this traditional framework around me to guide me away from his own slutty lifestyle, but couldn't fight the slut within me.
That said, most of the poly people I've met are quite weird in some way, and I wonder if I really want to date people like them. I'm really starving for a healthy, functional, well-adjusted example of an open couple in my social circle.
Re-Closed[rebelmouse-image 18347055 is_animated_gif=
My parents were swingers. I didn't know until I was older. I got to hangout with some of my friends more than others because their parents would swing with mine, lol. It made for a lot of sleepovers which I thought was rad at the time.
Ultimately, I found out that my mom did not want to swing so she closed the relationship back up. My dad just kept cheating. They got divorced when I was 12.
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I cannot be trusted with chocolate marshmallow cookies.
I don't even like marshmallows, but something happens in my brain when I bite into it and I no longer have an ability to say no. It doesn't even matter what brand - could be Mallomars, or pinwheels, or whatever your local store brand is.
Doesn't matter, just put it in the freezer and walk away. It's best you forget about it, because you'll never see the box again.
Reddit user ts_13_ asked:
"What’s a food you can’t buy because you will literally eat the entire thing in one sitting?"
Never. See. The. Cookies. Again.
But I don't feel bad about it, cause I'm absolutely not the only one out here with self control issues. Here are Reddit's snack confessions.
Serving SizeTortilla Chips GIF by Salsarita's Fresh Mexican GrillGiphy
"The larger size bags are a better value, but I almost always get a small bag. Why? Self-preservation."
"Regardless of how big the bag is, for me the serving size for chips is one bag."
"Same, can’t open a bag of chips/chip-like things (Doritos, Cheetos, etc.) without it being gone and me being full of shame."
"Crunchy, salty, and savory is a deadly combo for me."
"The routine is eat half the bag, lie to myself and save the other half for another day…an hour later eat the rest of the bag."
"Fresh warm French bread that just came out of the bakery"
"Dude fresh bread straight out the oven is literally heaven. I will eat an entire loaf, I’ve done it before and I'll do it again."
"I bought a breadmaker at the beginning of the pandemic and man it is dangerous."
"The loaves aren't huge so you can just... eat one. Like a snack loaf."
"Literally anything I slightly like"
"Yes, if I think 'damn these pickles are pretty good' there goes the whole jar PoP jut like that."
"Same with cookies, chips, anything."
"This is me too."
"Not just cookies and chips and treats, but regular meals too. It's gotten to the point where I only cook bland things because if I make something that tastes good I'll want to eat 3 or 4 helpings that night."
"Most snacks really. I don't have a sensible relationship with food."
The Brown DragonHappy Get Down GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Cereal! Omg it’s bad. Specifically Cinnamon Toast Crunch (regular or the churro kind)"
"Someone brought in popcorn at work the other day. All sorts of 'gourmet' versions. One was Cinnamon and Sugar."
"It tasted EXACTLY like Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
"I killed the whole bag. Now I'm shaking. I need more. I'm chasing the brown dragon."
"Omg here in Texas, HEB sells horchata-flavored Rice Krispies. First it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch then it was the churros...now it's these."
"Canela es vida"
A Fascination With The Frozen
"Not the fancy ones, that 3 dollar bag of 24 twin pops. Had my girlfriend come home and see the side table by the couch full of sticks and just shake her head in disappointment at me."
"It's a childhood addiction I'll never shake, I guess."
"One day an old roommate bought a 48 box of ice cream sandwiches then went to the gym."
"By the time he got home I only managed to save him two."
"I like to eat all the colors and leave the grape ones , then eat the grape ones repeatedly until my entire mouth has frost bite."
"I've had to go to ER three times because of it and have given myself nerve damage."
"White cheddar popcorn... I turn into an animal"
"Same. My sister has a video tucked away of me emptying a bag of white cheddar popcorn into my mouth at a stop light while driving. She made sure my husband saw it before we got married."
"The amount of SmartFood family-sized bags that I have singlehandedly torn to shreds…"
More AnimalsHungry John Krasinski GIF by The Animal Crackers MovieGiphy
"Circus Animal cookies with the pink and white frosting."
"If surveyed, I wouldn't even say I liked them and it never occurs to me to buy them. But if they're around, get out of my way!"
"Have you tried them frozen? Discovered it by accident when I was staying in a place with no AC, and haven’t looked back since"
"Anything I like. I have ADHD and no self control"
"I have ADHD and I obsess over food too! Will eat the same thing for days until I don't like it anymore."
"The lack of self control is actually the worst."
"I binge food, alcohol, people, until I’ve f*cked up my body, my relationship, my job, or whatever else."
Hidden In The Toilet
"If it's in the house, it CALLS to me, and I am drawn to it like a Siren from Greek mythology."
"When my partner wants to have PB in the house, she literally has to hide it from me. And I've found it a few times, so she has to get REALLY CLEVER every time she gets a new container."
"Last time she hid it in the toilet tank, and I found it because I had to repair the flapper device and found it in there."
"I found my people. Can’t have it in the house. I will throw it away to save myself from myself."
"Everyone close to me knows it too, cuz I’ll announce it."
"No, no, no, get it out. I won’t stop eating it until it’s gone."
Easter Emergenciescrab GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I made myself sick on Easter because I ate what turned out to be 11 crab rangoons in one sitting."
"I'm lactose intolerant. They're full of cream cheese."
"I'm allergic to seafood and I am addicted to them. Luckily they're usually made with fake crab..."
Alright foodies, you're up.
Go ahead and confess your snack sins. You're clearly among friends here.
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We all did wild things when we were young. Many of us still do wild things now.
Some of these actions were against the rules. Other actions weren't exactly banned but were frowned upon. And some actions were so crazy, no one thought about having a rule against them at first.
Sometimes, we do something so out of the ordinary that a rule is created so it won't happen again. These are often the best stories.
That's probably why Redditor TheBlackTemplar125 asked:
"What rules were put in place because of you?"
As expected, the answers held some great stories.
Making A Career Out Of It
"In middle school i would use sharpies to tattoo myself, other kids thought it was cool so i started charging $1 per drawing wherever they wanted. Principal found out and after i wouldn’t stop, she put a ban on sharpies for the entire school. even the teachers couldn’t bring them in. i’m a tattoo artist now."
Reversing The Joke
"In history class in high school, there was about 10 of us really close friends. We would take every opportunity to make “your mom” jokes. A couple months into class the teacher made us sign a “treaty” promising to stop making fun of each other’s moms. We signed it, and started making fun of each other’s dads."
Dads Change Diapers Too
"I got the Ryan’s Steak House buffets in Louisville, KY to put baby changing stations in the men’s bathrooms back in the 90’s."
"I did the same with a large craft supply store in Canada called Michaels after my first daughter was born and I had to change her diaper in the womens washroom. One message and they were installed within a week or two. I was really impressed with how quickly they took action."
"My daughter is almost 8 and I just told her last week that the change table in the mens room was because of her while we were shopping to make a mother's day present."
Get Out Of School For Free
"My elementary school was located in the center of the neighborhood, and my 5th grade class was the first to get outdoor trailers for classrooms. We'd ask for bathroom passes and then walk home. Next year they built a fence around the school"
Fire In A Crowded Hotel
"I put a croissant in one of those hotel toasters. It soon became engulfed in flames and needed extinguishing. Next day at breakfast they made a sign that said “if you’d like your croissant toasted, please ask a member of staff”"
One Evil Over The Other
"No typewriters in class."
"I was kind of a shit kid and while my school allowed us to use laptops, I would play videogames. Primarily Warcraft 3. In class. No sound or anything so I wasn't being a complete nuisance, but I wasn't doing my work."
"A teacher told me I couldn't use my laptop."
"I happened to have a 1950's Remington Quiet-Riter portable, all-mechanical typewriter. It was anything but quiet, with all of the TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA... DING! you'd expect from a typewriter."
"After one full day of studiously taking notes and doing my assignments via typewriter, my teacher said I could use my laptop as long as I didn't bring the typewriter to class."
The Chicken On Fire
"Military school I went to. After me, an adult is required to check the parade cannon to ensure it is clear, and closely monitor the students as they load it."
"There is to never be another flaming rubber chicken flying over the parade grounds ever again. Circa 1989."
Changing The Curriculum
"English Media class in Highschool. End of year project was to film a movie. Me and 3 other guys decided to film a “gangster movie”. Long story short, while filming the final shoot out scene behind a local post office, we were swarmed by police and almost got shot. One of the guys got arrested and my teacher almost got fired."
"The following year, the curriculum was changed and the final project was now an essay to be completed on a popular movie."
Only Certain Gods Allowed
"freshman year of high school, I had to give an oral presentation on a random Greek god. this was at a Christian school, for context. I got Dionysus, so naturally I spent many hours researching on YouTube how to act drunk (wasn't much of a partier, so I didn't know) and pretended to be absolutely wasted for my presentation. it was a great success but my teacher unsurprisingly banned Dionysus for the following years. it didn't help that Dionysus was basically the god of orgies and bestiality too, if I remember correctly"
"Oh man, that teacher f@#$&?d up. How does a teacher assign a project on Dionysus without realizing what the material would be like? The dude was basically the Greek god of crazy parties."
Road Deaf Traveled
"Finally I get to add a personal story to Reddit. When I was walking home from school, I had to walk next to the road to get to my house. I decided to see if I could walk with my eyes closed."
"I didn’t feel the transition from gravel to road, and the cars didn’t honk at me (as they made a line), because they thought I was deaf. I heard a noise, looked back, and ran off the street into an orchard."
"Two weeks later, they put up Deaf Child Area signs on both sides of the road I live on."
"Why would they have thought you were deaf if your eyes were closed…?"
"This is my favorite because your eyes were closed and they put up deaf child signs. There goes a goofy but regular child, the cause of all this."
That last one was too funny!
Rules are created for various reasons, but sometimes they lead to some great memories.
When I was a kid, I decided to learn to be ambidextrous. I either handed in papers that were illegible or took forever to finish an assignment trying to write neatly with my left hand that my teacher eventually made a rule that only kids who are left-handed could write with their left hand!
It made me angry back then, but now, just like these other Redditors, I have a good story to tell!
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Have you ever been arrested for something and thought... "well this is just silly?"
Yes we need laws and rules, but let's be honest a lot of "crimes" need to be re-examined.
Or maybe I just want to be naughty.
All kidding aside, too many people are sitting in jails for crimes that make no sense.
It's not right.
One Redditor wanted to hear about what illegal activities we'd love to indulge in. They asked:
"If you had to legalize a crime, what would it be?"
Shoplifting and weed. Let's start there.
FishyBig Fish GIF by PBS KIDSGiphy
"Being able to walk with a salmon suspiciously."
"The Salmon Act of 1986 made it illegal in England, Wales, and Scotland to 'handle salmon in suspicious circumstances.'”
"I’d legalize putting bikes in pools in California."
"Honestly, water biking is a great exercise and should totally be legal everywhere."
"Ding ding ding! you win!"
"Selling Unlicensed potatoes."
"As a potato myself, I agree."
"The UK government has effectively banned protests so I'm gonna go for that."
"here’s an article that explains it a bit. basically over here the police will now have more power to control protests. they can impose more measures, make sure people are ‘not being loud’ etc."
"Yeah super glad America doesn't have that. Right to protest is in our DNA. No matter how annoying, it’s necessary."
by deathdeath GIFGiphy
"Executing politicians for treason for any crimes or abuses of power while in office. Iirc treason and sabotage are both punishable by death according to the constitution."
Salmon? Really? Can I carry tuna or a nice cut of mahi?
Cheers all DayHappy Hour Reaction GIF by New GirlGiphy
"The ability to purchase alcohol at any hour of day, on any day of the week. How many of you have gone out late at night to buy beer only to be turned away because the alcohol section is closed, or not being able to buy any at all on Sunday? (in some places)."
"Feeding homeless people."
"I am guessing it is to discourage some psychos from feeding them sh*t (both metaphorical and literal). Reddit taught me about a cop, who gave a homeless guy a literal crap sandwich."
"It keeps people from poisoning them."
"I was enrolled in a clinical trial using psilocybin as a treatment for depression. After decades of treatment resistant depression, I'm depression-free. Even if it's temporary, I'm so grateful and I can't wait until everyone has access to this incredible drug."
"I am hoping that weed legalization can open the doors for mushrooms."
Bringing the End
"I know it's controversial, but I would say Euthanasia (for very bad illnesses and elderly, if they're miserable and don't want to go on anymore). Afaik it is legal in some countries, such as Switzerland. Just wanted to add I'm not American and therefore can't relate to all the comments telling me about situations in US states, but don't get me wrong, it's interesting nonetheless. :) "
SexJulia Roberts GIFGiphy
"Sex work. I'm not interested in it, but it appears to be an arbitrary law that would be a waste of time to enforce."
"Adults can have sex for money in front of the camera for all to see, but once the camera is removed, it becomes illegal? It doesn't make much sense. The only reason it's illegal, I believe, is that the government hasn't found a method to tax it."
Sex work is real work. Let these people be.
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It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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