Though sexism remains prevalent today, these vintage magazine articles and ads take the cake when it comes to shaming women into behaving certain ways or buying a product. It's hard to believe that these were completely accepted as the norm, and makes you question some of the subtle and not-so-subtle messages in today's content. Enjoy!
Let us begin with some dating tips, published in Parade magazine way back in 1938. Tips from things like "don't have emotions" to "don't sit in awkward positions" leave us wondering can women do anything right? There's a certain quality of, how you say, blatant sexism throughout, and readers of this magazine must have been left with the idea that everything about their dating lives revolves around trying to change themselves for men. Take a peek at some of the most outrageous ones below!
Yeah, because every woman is just dying to cry on a date. And every man is made of stone when it comes to emotions.
I mean, I guess this could be a safety issue, sure, but why, exactly, are we assuming that anyone would just twist the rearview mirror toward them while someone was driving? Besides, most cars have those little flip down mirrors for the passenger anyway.
What even is an awkward position? If you're going to tell women that they shouldn't be sitting in hundreds of different ways, at least don't be shy about explaining what those ways are! Come on, here! If you're going to be sexist, be specific.
Smile, ladies! Ain't nothing better or more re-assuring than knowing that a woman's main objective in a date is to make a man think she's having a grand ol' time, and concern herself with appearing happy. Makes me want to...
I mean, sure, maybe you shouldn't borrow people's personal handkerchiefs and stain them with your lipstick. Yeah, I get that. But what's with all this "make-up in private" junk? Ooooh wait, I get it! Women are just supposed to appear perfect and made up already, not show any sign that they are fallible humans... gosh, how was I so nave? Must be the woman in me.
Oh yeah. If you're dancing with a guy, definitely not an appropriate time to talk. A man needs to have the time to think his own private man thoughts and not listen to the sound of your lady-blabbering. You know what? I think we should take this one step further women should just never talk unless they're asked to. Eh? Anyone in?
Herman H. Rubin's Sex Harmony and Eugenics, published in 1934, claimed that a woman's "false modesty" could ruin a marriage.
If you don't have a spicy sex life, you're to blame for your partner cheating!
To stay married, be good in bed: "A woman may forgive almost any fault in a man, provided only that he is a perfect lover ... In order to be a good husband, learn to become a good lover. The wife on her part should disabuse her mind from any puritanical or prudish ideas, and understand that by cooperating fully with her husband to secure their mutual maximum of joy, she increases immeasurably her own happiness, and insures her status as a loving and well-loved wife."
This was obviously horrible advice for everyone involved. Yet, it's a persistent trope woman doesn't have enough sex with her husband, so he just has to cheat on her because of course he can't help it. Not only does this place the blame on women, but it also makes men seem like dumb idiots who can't think or act rationally, and that's just not true.
Obviously this is just a hunch, but maybe the man that wrote this was trying to get himself off the hook for something?
You know why? Because women are all reverse vampires. That's right instead of sucking your blood, if you touch theirs, you'll almost always die. According to The Curse: A Cultural History of Menstruation, men in the 19th century were terrified about women's periods, and it was said that having sex with a woman during menstruation was not only "corrupt", but it caused a whole gamut of diseases. By the 1930s, it was also believed that for a woman to have sex during her period would make them fall ill and bleed more heavily. If anyone out there is still confused you can have sex during menstruation! Many women have said it's even more enjoyable because a) free lube, and b) the post-orgasm contractions can help relieve cramps.
There are quite a few problems with the ad, but let's start with the most obvious "Every husband wants his wife to be feminine." Huh. Last time I checked, that wasn't necessarily true. Last time I checked, you could also be feminine without spraying a bunch of product up your twat. Not to mention, the vagina is self-cleaning, and although it's perfectly okay to clean it gently, many products can throw off the balance and cause bacterial infections.
Yet, many women were absolutely convinced that in order to make themselves appealing to men, they needed to douche regularly. And it's all thanks to advertisements like this one, with lines like this one: "Demure deodorizes... so pleasantly, you know you're the woman your husband wants you to be."
According to The Science of a New Life, a book published by John Cowan in 1869, "Girls who have followed masturbating habits … show usually strong indications of it in the failure of their glandular development. Such persons are apt to be flat-breasted, or, as we term it, flat-chested."
Leave it to the Victorians to make false connections between masturbation and breast size.
There's absolutely no valid research to back this up, yet somehow, it was published widely and actually used as a way to shame women away from masturbation. As if there wasn't already a heavy dose of stigma surrounding that anyway. Let's be honest, there still kind of is.
Men aren't supposed to be shown love in public! Ew! They have their man thoughts to think. How dare you touch his ear. How dare you smile at him. Do you even know how to be a woman?
Okay, yeah, I get it. This is an important tip to keep in mind for anyone. It's best not to talk about all the fun you had with other people on other dates with the waiter at the restaurant where you apparently go on all your dates. Why isn't this just being marketed as a general rule for both parties?
Woman: Hey, can I tell you about my new gown?
Man: If you must.
Woman: Well, I actually got my mother's old gown and refurbished it for myself. In the shoulders I
Man: I was being sarcastic.
Man: I'm going to tell you about the minute details of my day now. Get ready to nod and smile.
Man: I feel flattered that you're so interested in me. Also why aren't you smiling more?
Woman: Too busy worrying about my possibly awkward sitting position.
Don't you dare even think about having autonomy over your own drinking habits and what you choose to consume. Do as a man expects you to, and you'll be happy forever.
I'm not really sure what to say about this one. There are so many random tips (read: threats) wrapped into one. Don't talk to other men. Don't pass out from too much liquor. You know, if I had to follow all the rules that this woman did, I'd for sure be pounding 'em back, in an attempt to forget where I was. I don't blame her.
Yas, kween! You rock that awkward sitting position but don't expect any men to love you.
Okay, so now I think we're getting to the point in the article where I can introduce creepy underwear advice from men! It turns out, the last century (and more) was full of so much creepy underwear advice for women, it's hard to choose a place to start. But, here's one that really stands out among the rest...
Dr. William Josephus Robinson shared some fantastically creepy underwear advice for women:
"The underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the color should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man."
Pink. Lace. Ruffles. It actually sounds like he's describing children's underwear, no? Anyway, needless to say whether your underwear matches this description or not, Dr. William Josephus Robinson needs to get with it.
Okay, so you know how before I suggested that women just never talk?
Turns out, Edward Podolsky was really behind this idea, too! In his 1943 book, Sex Today in Wedded Life, he dishes out some very salient advice on how to be a good wife: stop your lady chitter chatter and get to listening to your man about his real man problems.
Dont bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work. Be a good listener.
Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business).
Morale is a womans business. Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
Ahh, doesn't that just have such a great little sexist ring to it?
I feel extremely bad for whoever was married to Thomas D. Horton.
According to his book, entitled What Men Don't Like About Women, (wow, what a killer title, eh? Really just conveys a sense of respect and understanding), he tells women:
"Do not show your face until 30 minutes after your man wakes up. Immediately after waking, what a man wants most is not to see or hear his beloved for at least fifteen minutes — preferably a half hour. If more women knew this simple fact, their love life would be happier."
Considering the fact that married people generally live in the same house together, this seems fairly unavoidable. Also, you know, there's that whole thing about this advice being incredibly sexist. I'm really curious to know how he worked this out with his wife (or if he even had a wife). This man sounds incorrigible.
Ahh, yes, the old "tampon makes you lose your virginity" myth.
As little as a couple of decades ago, there used to be such a stigma against tampons (for this very reason) that many ads warned against using them.
However, there are a couple of bizarre things about this myth. First, it's just not true. Making women believe that they can only use pads is cruel punishment for people that already have to bleed out of their vaginas once a month. Second, it doubles down on the stigma for women who have lost their virginity. For many women, there's a sense of complete shame when it comes to losing your virginity, wrapped up in puritan ideas that equate sex with morality. News flash: having sex with people does not make you a bad person.
Sure, it's important to maintain a good body odour for yourself and those around you, which can usually be managed with regular hygiene. However, it was expected of women (and still is, to some degree) that they should smell like a rose garden 'round the clock, which just simply isn't true. On top of that, the rule didn't apply to just wearing perfume no, that would be far too easy! Ad companies targeted women for just about every part of their bodies.
We already covered douching the vagina, but here's an ad that specifically told women that their hair needed to smell good for when their man decided to take a lil' whiff (after 30 minutes of hiding away from him in the morning time or after dinner, when you're allowed to talk). The ominous tone of this ad is enough to leave many people running out to by the newest in "hair perfume".
So, picture this: you've just come out of the Depression. You've been living your worst life for years, and you're finally thinking, Okay, this might get better. You've lost a bunch of weight, due to the fact that you were literally starving.
This ad was released during and after the Depression, and tried to target already-suffering women who had lost weight during that time. Ironized yeast products promised skinny women weight, by which they meant larger hips and breasts, and targeted with language akin to saying:
"Men won't like you if you look like that and obviously that's all you should be concerned about, even though you just went through the Depression and you maybe almost starved to death. Anyway, buy our product to make yourself gain weight so you can start refocusing your attention on the things that really matter - impressing guys!"
Don't have small boobs. Don't have big boobs. Can a woman ever win? Apparently not! This ad for a 19th century device called the "Bust Reducer" promised to shrink women's breasts. Ads of this type have two jobs one, to convince the customer that something is wrong with them; two, to convince them that you have the solution.
This ad not only convinces women that their proportions are definitely wrong, but that they need to fix them with potentially harmful, restrictive devices. Yuck.
"Maybe men respect them but, believe me, they don't admire dishpan hands!"
According to this 1930s ad (and many more), having hands that show signs of wear from the everyday duties of life, like washing dishes, was enough to threaten a marriage. Dishes? You better do 'em. But you should also feel guilty about the way your hands are going to look after, because they're definitely going to be the straw that breaks the camels back in your love life.
Keeping your hands moisturized is an important part of many peoples' routine, but why can't you just sell moisturizer and let people decide when they want to use it, instead of telling people that if they don't buy your product, their marriage is at stake?
Even up until the 1970s, women were being targeted for dreaded "dishpan hands". An ad for Palmolive showed a woman dipping her hands in the dish water, because their soap was supposed to be a beauty treatment at the same time.
In case you can't read the fine print in this ad, here it is:
Shes a girl in a million! Pretty and smart. Dances divinely. Can even cook. But shes ruining her chances by having gap-osis. That is, gaps where her skirt buttons.
Gaps. Where. Her. Skirt. Buttons.
Get ready to ad one of the biggest threats to any woman's dignity (not to mention romantic potential) to the list gap-osis. A made up term for a made up problem that will certainly ruin your life. So you better buy this product now if you want to save yourself. And you better save yourself so you can meet your ultimate goal in life finding a husband.
Just look at that man choking on his sandwich in disgust at this woman's button gaps. Look at all those arrows coming from his eyes, right toward her dreaded gaps. He can barely look past her dreaded button gaps to judge everything else about the way she looks, the way her hair smells, or the smoothness of her hands. That man better get right the heck out of that devil-picnic right now before he gets roped into listening to that woman talk about herself.
When it comes to guilting women into using their products, Lysol took it to a whole new level. Back in the day, Lysol wasn't just a cleaning product. It was marketed to women as a vaginal douche, as a solution for "vaginal odour."
In an interesting turn of events, the product was used by many women as a contraceptive spermicide. Of course, it was horribly unsafe for women to use, because spraying chemicals (especially toxic ones that should only be used as a cleaning agent) up your vagina is obviously bad for you. However, for many women, it was an underground secret that Lysol could be used as a contraceptive. In the days when abortions were illegal, and regular forms of contraceptive were either outlawed or extremely stigmatized, this was seen as a secret trick. I should probably take a moment to say that Lysol is not actually a good contraceptive it doesn't have a great chance of working. However, Lysol began to understand that women were using their product this way, so started marketing it that way, using coded language. In the above ad, you'll note that it refers to "organic matter", which is in reference to sperm.
Thanks for reading!
I don't see the appeal of these rooms.
Why would one enjoy being trapped in a room?
When you watch people trapped in a movie you cheer for their release.
But this activity has gotten super popular.
And people have gotten real creative in their escapes.
Redditor CaptainCatButt wanted to hear confessions from the great escapes. They asked:
"Escape Room employees, what's the weirdest way you've seen customers try and solve an escape room?"
I haven't tried these rooms yet. Not sure I want to. Highly claustrophobic. Convince me...
"I used to work at one. I can’t tell you how many people thought that power outlets were a prop and tried to stick keys into them. Guys. There was a lamp plugged into it and a 'do not touch, not a part of the game' sticker on it. It’s not a trick, don’t do that."
"A friend of mine works for an escape room and he told me one about a puzzle where the key to the next door was shackled to a desk by a combination lock. What you are supposed to do is figure out the combination for the lock from the clues around the room to free the key. What one group decided to do instead was get a guy on each corner and pick up the 150 pound desk and carry it across the room, slide the key into the lock, and then rotate the entire desk to unlock the door."
"I am not an escape room employee but I did a lot of em and talked to the employees often. One of them told me there was a simple lock (opened by a key) that had 'Yale' written on it (the name of the lock company) and a lady (not native English speaker) thought it read 'yell' and legit shouted 'OPEN!!' at it, expecting it to open."
searching the fountain...
"Recently went to an escape room with my co-workers. Before we started, we were explicitly warned not to touch or drink the bright blue water coming out of a fountain because it would turn our skin blue - clearly people had tried searching the fountain as part of the escape room previously and now they have to warn everyone."
Voice of GodWhos That Voice Of God GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
"I was in an escape room once where one puzzle involved some objects that needed to be manipulated inside a structure that made it very awkward."
"We were all looking at it trying to figure out how to proceed when I said 'Well, the bottom is held on with screws and I have a screwdriver in my purse, but that would probably be cheating.' Instantly the Voice of God came over the intercom 'THAT WOULD BE CHEATING!' So we didn't do that..."
Well people really do get creative at this game... don't they?
"Had a group of engineers who were familiar with the style of the lock effectively reverse engineer the lock. They showed us how they did it afterwards."
"When I was in one they told us several times that the fire extinguisher is NOT part of the puzzle. They said it so many times, I'm 98% sure someone once used it lol."
"I always wait to see if they say not to disassemble smoke detectors, if they have that warning, I ask about it, and every time they will always have a story about a dumby who ignored the warning labels and disassembled the smoke detector."
Group of 4
"There was a story on here a while ago about a guy in a group of four who took a broom from the first room because 'it had to be for something.' He said it looked too out of place to not be needed. Well he was half right. It was out of place but that's because it was the broom used by employees to clean the room."
"It was simply forgotten when they cleaned last time. The guys giving hints thought it was hilarious that this guy carried a broom through four rooms expecting it to be the key to their escape at some point. I thought that was funny as hell."
"Take in a screwdriver and dismantling furniture or taking doors off hinges... all the while we specifically tell them not to use force and that furniture is just furniture. Though I don't care cause they gotta pay the damages. Also had some groups press our panic button cause that opens all the doors (for emergency cases)."
"So they can skip puzzles and be faster. Makes zero sense to us cause they are paying for an hour of playtime and to solve puzzles, not like the prize is reduced cause you solved less in fewer minutes. Especially since our prices aren't cheap."
IdiotsIdiot Facepalm GIFGiphy
"Breaking EVERYTHING. Trying to eat or drink things they should totally not be trying to eat or drink."
Even though there are a million ways to escape, I'm still gonna pass. My claustrophobia won't allow it.
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Different cultures are fascinating and add color to our world.
While many cultures should be celebrated, there are some individuals who just can't help but reserve their opinions about those whose behavior and customs differ vastly from their own.
At the risk of coming off as offensive, some might even call these customs, "weird."
European culture got the spotlight when Redditor CoffeeBoy88 asked:
"What is something weird about Europe that Europeans don’t realize is weird?"
Apparently, there's never a dull moment in European nations.
"German tourists are OBSESSED with mooses."
"The UK has 30 accents per square mile. And if a large man calls you duck in Stoke … that’s okay."
"Norwegians don't close their curtains when it gets dark."
"The amount of mosquitos in Finland, Americans go crazy in Spring because of it."
Redditors discuss what it's like traveling around Europe.
Come And Go As You Please
"How incredibly inconsequential it is to cross country borders. Cycled through France - Belgium - Netherlands and there is barely even a sign."
"You drive five hours in the US: you’re basically still in the same place."
"You drive five hours in Europe: everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different."
The Short Commute
"The first time I was in the UK my husband wanted to go to Wales and I looked at the train route from London and was like 'It’s all the way on the other side of the country! We’re only in the UK for a week. We don’t have that kind of time!' And my husband was all, 'you know it’s a 2.5 hour train ride, right?' I thought it would all day."
Germans In Transport
"the absolute lack of air conditioning even at 40°, german transport gets sticky and stinky quite fast and nobody seems to care, many people even shut the windows to avoid the 'annoying breeze.'"
Maintaining distance was a thing long before pandemic measures recommended people to be socially distanced.
All About Respect
"Finnish people are silent, small talk doesn't exist. Their personal space larger than COVID-19 social distancing rules, and it's considered normal. Don't speak unless spoken to, and don't invade other people's personal space - it's seen as a sign of a respect."
"Those Finns, who haven't been to abroad or haven't met too many foreigners, don't often even recognize this behaviour being unusual in the global scale."
The "Safety Coffee Cup"
"I'm from Finland and one European thing that all Finnish people hate is cheek kisses when greeting. Its mostly southern european thing but still. There is this saying in Finland that goes 'Everyone has their own safety coffee cup' meaning the closest distance someone should get to you should not be closer than your coffee cup when you're holding it."
Let Them Shop In Peace
"Weird at first but I appreciate and wish for it. It might be just a Germany thing but from what I’ve been told German Walmart failed because the North American style of customer service was very unliked. From the greeter at the door to clerks asking if you need help unprompted. German shoppers just want to shop and go home as undisturbed as possible."
I remember being weirded out when I went to Paris and asked for some ice at a cafe.
The waiter served me coke by opening the room temperature can and poured some of the contents into an empty glass. With no ice.
When the server came back, he had with him a spoon with one ice cube on it. I thought it was stingy but it got worse.
He poured the rest of the coke over the ice on the spoon he was holding and then walked away with the ice and spoon.
I guess the coke was colder than when I had my first sip, so according to the server, it was viola: mission accomplished!
Do the French not like ice-cold beverages? Weird.
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Just because a therapist is there to expertly evaluate our emotional challenges throughout many of life's adversities and crises, it doesn't mean they always hold it together.
People tend to forget that therapists–the professional we seek for guidance when we're vulnerable–are also human and are just as prone to feeling the feels.
Curious to hear from therapists who've exposed their emotional vulnerabilities in front of their clients opened up when Redditor Unkw0n_pers0n asked:
"Therapist that have cried in a session, why?"
A patient who feels seen and understood reinforces why therapists endeavor to help people in the first place.
It Wasn't Her Fault
"I was working with a deeply depressed client who had a lot of negative self talk about how she was always a failure. We were exploring the origins of this and how young she was the first time she felt self-blame. She told me her earliest story of when she was in 2nd grade."
"Afterwards, as we were processing it, I expressed that 'it wasn't your fault' about the story. She just broke down sobbing and said 'nobody has ever said that to me before' in between sobs. It hit me and I cried a little."
"i cried after i worked with a kid who described an emotionally difficult situation with a sibling. the kid’s experience aligned very similarly to something i went through with my own sibling when i was the kid’s age and i hadn’t realized how much hurt i was carrying from the experience."
"being a therapist sometimes means being confronted with things you didn’t realize had such a strong impact on you. luckily, i have a stellar therapist of my own that i can work through these moments with."
The Patient With A Disorder
"I was doing a cognitive assessment for a girl. We were doing tests and at one point she started crying she was unable to tell me why, she was fine just one moment before. I let her collect her thoughts, then she said softly 'I don't want to be more stupid than my friends'. She wasn't actually, she was very bright, but she didn't know that she has dyslexia, dysorthograpy AND dyscalculia. I realized that she went through THIRTEEN years of school without help. Her parents didn't want to do an assessment as they thought she was just lazy. I told her that she was very brave to decide to get help and things would get better after our assessment and I felt tears in my eyes."
"Edit: first of all, I have great empathy for parents, for most of all is just a matter of ignorance, fear and parenting is hard. If you are a parent and you see your kid struggling, PLEASE listen to professionists, we are here to help, not judge, and we will find ways to help you and your kid. Disorders don't go away, don't underestimate it, the sooner you get help, the better the outcome can be. It's ok to be scared but we're here for you and we understand you."
"Second, I'm really sorry to read so many heartbreaking stories about people that weren't believed and struggled being undiagnosed. I wish you all the best, I hope you are in a better situation and you got or you'll get all the help you deserve, because you do deserve it."
"Third, if you think 'something's wrong with me', get help if you are in a position to do so. Worst case you understand yourself better and have a chance do make peace with parts of yourself."
A patient who has already accepted their heartbreaking fate recalls seeing their therapist getting emotionally involved during a session.
A Mother Who Didn't Want To Let Go
"My therapist cried while 'mediating' a discussion between my mom and I. I have a neurodegenerative disease and she is my full time caregiver. Because of my severe disability, she also has legal guardianship of me, even though I am in my 20’s (this is all fine with me, I need the help, and I agreed in court to all of it. This was the first true 'disagreement' that we ever had.)"
"I am ready to die. I am in pain, unable to do anything for myself, and it’s only getting worse. I asked my mom to sign a DNR, because I have been resuscitated before, it was a mess, and I don’t want it to happen again."
"She refused. She doesn’t want to lose her child and wanted to do everything medically possible to keep me alive."
"The session was essentially me begging her to let me go, while she sobbed and said she could never sign a paper that would lead to my death. It was a terrible situation. No one was 'the bad guy', no one was trying to hurt the other. It was someone wanting their suffering to end, verses a mother not wanting to lose her child."
"My therapist agreed that I should be allowed to make this choice, but certainly didn’t think my mom was manipulative or evil, just already grieving and trying to hold on to me as long as possible. I saw her wipe her eyes several times, and they were red by the time we were done. She actually hugged us both at the end."
"The situation wasn’t resolved during the session, but my mom came around shortly after. She wouldn’t sign the DNR, but gave me legal permission to do so (so, in her mind, it wasn’t her making the final decision.)"
"BTW, my mom and I have a GREAT relationship! This was just one issue that we couldn’t come to an agreement on ourselves. But it worked out, and I’m now in palliative care and have a great team looking after me, INCLUDING my mom!"
The following examples continue to demonstrate how therapists are more emotionally invested in their patients and clients than you think.
Responding To Tragic News
"I cried in a substance treatment group. A client’s mom had reached out via email to me to say that her daughter died from an OD. She called during my group so I chose to take the call and spoke with her briefly. I thought I could continue with the group. Ended up in tears instead."
She Patient Who Felt Unloved
"My patient cried and said 'there's nobody on this planet who loves me anymore.' I cried when I left because I knew she was right. For context: she was 95, her husband and son had died, she had a personality disorder that made her behaviour unbearable for her environment after her husband died and every person still in her life were paid for to be around her. She died a few months after this conversation."
It is unsurprising that therapists are compassionate people.
Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the room to help someone who is struggling internally.
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Much of the nation continues to reel from the news that a leaked draft opinion indicated the Supreme Court's ruling on Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization will move to strike down Roe v. Wade, the 1973 landmark decision that protects a person's right to choose reproductive healthcare without excessive government restriction.
Many people remember what it was like in the days before women could seek an abortion; many innocent women died in the absence of proper medical care or were forced to birth children they could not afford, trapping them in poverty.
But could a ruling overturning Roe v. Wade signal the loss of other rights in the future, especially those decided on the right to privacy, on which Roe was hinged?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor thisiscubes asked the online community,
"Americans of Reddit, what are your thoughts on Roe v. Wade being overturned by SCOTUS as per draft reports?"
"It was the single most traumatizing..."
"I used to be pro-life for the most part but felt abortion was necessary in certain situations (i.e. rape, incest, whatever). I thought I would have never had an abortion myself. I thought I could always give up the baby for adoption."
"Until I gave birth last month. It was the single most traumatizing experience I've ever gone through. I'm healthy and my pregnancy was not complicated but my heart stopped working after getting an epidural. I coded."
"Once they got me stabilized again, my baby then starting decompensating. They literally had to rip him out of me because I was too far along to convert to C-section."
"I still can't control feces leaking out of me, even 6 weeks later. What a quality of life improvement /s."
"I wanted this child so having my body absolutely wrecked for the safety of my child seemed worth it, despite the pain and complications I experienced from it."
"But now, having gone through that, I cannot imagine any woman being FORCED to go through what I went through. Against their will. So I’m pretty pro choice now."
We are so sorry you had to go through that. We agree that giving birth can be harmful and traumatic, even for a wanted child, and no woman should have to go through that.
"I am currently..."
"I am currently in an OB triage hospital room waiting for a shot of methotrexate, which is considered an abortion."
"This pregnancy was so wanted. I had a miscarriage in February. I wanted this baby. But it is ectopic and it will kill me. And I am still crying so hard."
"My doctors have been amazing and caring and made this process so much easier. F*ck anyone who thinks the legal system needs to be involved here."
We are so sorry you have to go through that. It’s none of the government’s business.
"Roe wasn't the start of abortions. It was the end of women dying from abortion."
We can't clap enough for this one.
"Get our your wallets..."
"You think our social services are overwhelmed now. Get out your wallets because there is about to be a generation of babies born where moms won't have the means to feed, clothe, and care for them."
Sadly, this is all too true. It is a crisis in the making.
"My cousin had to terminate..."
"I had an abortion at 21 that saved my life. It was a terrifying and isolating experience, and the best decision I have ever made."
"My cousin had to terminate her pregnancy in the second trimester due to the fact that the fetus developed without a brain. She described the care she received as what kept her alive through her grief."
"If abortion was not an option, she would have had to carry to term."
I’m sick to my stomach over this. Women, especially women of color, are going to die."
Sadly, the statistics are on your side on this. Many women, especially women of color, are going to die, and many children will grow up impoverished.
"Scared. I work with survivors of sexual violence. I am a survivor myself. I, and many other folks, have had our bodily autonomy stolen from us before. To see it on a federal level is horrifying."
It is indeed frightening and survivors of sexual violence no doubt feel victimized alll over again.
"My daughter will never have..."
"As a woman, I will be legally lesser than males because I have a womb. My daughter will never have full autonomy over her body. Intersectionally speaking, women of color and under resourced women will bear the brunt of this. Nothing will change for white women of means."
White women of means can fly wherever they wish and get an abortion there. That will never change.
"The foster care system is proof the government doesn’t care about unwanted children yet want to force more to be born. It’s all politics though guarantee if any of them ever got in a sticky situation illegal or not an abortion will be had available."
The United States' welfare system is also awful and that seems to be by design.
"My wife had a miscarriage last year. Because we were well past the point of most miscarriages (not quite to the stillbirth cutoff, but not far away), we were told the odds of my wife passing the fetus on her own were slim and that surgery was the safest option."
"We were required by law to acknowledge in writing that the procedure would terminate the (dead) fetus and that it came at risk of infertility and death. Our doctor was required to tell us the developmental age of the (dead) fetus and which developmental milestones occur around that time, as well as offer us an ultrasound to see the (dead) fetus."
"We cried the entire time. We desperately wanted this child. Our doctor cried, apologizing every step of the way that we had to go through this insensitive BS on top of losing the pregnancy."
"This fetus was dead in every sense of the word but because the procedure in question is also used for abortions we had to jump through these goddamn hoops to avoid putting my wife's health at risk."
"And it's not like my state doesn't offer alternatives for nonviable fetuses, conception due to rape or incest, or instances where health is at serious risk. This WAS the alternative. If we were actually getting an elective abortion it would have been significantly more time consuming and soul-crushing. You literally have to take an online course."
"Abortion access in this country is already a joke. All this is going to do is get people killed."
This is a heartbreaking story and we are sorry that you and your wife had to go through that.
As you can see, overturning Roe v. Wade has significant consequences. While the actual opinion will not be released until the summer, it's safe to say that the United States is entering a new era and that an entirely new wave of activism has begun.
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
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