"Let Men Do The Talking": Ridiculously Sexist Tips For Women From Vintage Magazines.
Though sexism remains prevalent today, these vintage magazine articles and ads take the cake when it comes to shaming women into behaving certain ways or buying a product. It's hard to believe that these were completely accepted as the norm, and makes you question some of the subtle and not-so-subtle messages in today's content. Enjoy!
Let us begin with some dating tips, published in Parade magazine way back in 1938. Tips from things like "don't have emotions" to "don't sit in awkward positions" leave us wondering can women do anything right? There's a certain quality of, how you say, blatant sexism throughout, and readers of this magazine must have been left with the idea that everything about their dating lives revolves around trying to change themselves for men. Take a peek at some of the most outrageous ones below!

Yeah, because every woman is just dying to cry on a date. And every man is made of stone when it comes to emotions.Â

I mean, I guess this could be a safety issue, sure, but why, exactly, are we assuming that anyone would just twist the rearview mirror toward them while someone was driving? Besides, most cars have those little flip down mirrors for the passenger anyway.Â

What even is an awkward position? If you're going to tell women that they shouldn't be sitting in hundreds of different ways, at least don't be shy about explaining what those ways are! Come on, here! If you're going to be sexist, be specific.Â

Smile, ladies! Ain't nothing better or more re-assuring than knowing that a woman's main objective in a date is to make a man think she's having a grand ol' time, and concern herself with appearing happy. Makes me want to...

I mean, sure, maybe you shouldn't borrow people's personal handkerchiefs and stain them with your lipstick. Yeah, I get that. But what's with all this "make-up in private" junk? Ooooh wait, I get it! Women are just supposed to appear perfect and made up already, not show any sign that they are fallible humans... gosh, how was I so nave? Must be the woman in me.Â

Oh yeah. If you're dancing with a guy, definitely not an appropriate time to talk. A man needs to have the time to think his own private man thoughts and not listen to the sound of your lady-blabbering. You know what? I think we should take this one step further women should just never talk unless they're asked to. Eh? Anyone in?

Herman H. Rubin's Sex Harmony and Eugenics, published in 1934, claimed that a woman's "false modesty" could ruin a marriage.Â
If you don't have a spicy sex life, you're to blame for your partner cheating!Â
To stay married, be good in bed: "A woman may forgive almost any fault in a man, provided only that he is a perfect lover ... In order to be a good husband, learn to become a good lover. The wife on her part should disabuse her mind from any puritanical or prudish ideas, and understand that by cooperating fully with her husband to secure their mutual maximum of joy, she increases immeasurably her own happiness, and insures her status as a loving and well-loved wife."
This was obviously horrible advice for everyone involved. Yet, it's a persistent trope woman doesn't have enough sex with her husband, so he just has to cheat on her because of course he can't help it. Not only does this place the blame on women, but it also makes men seem like dumb idiots who can't think or act rationally, and that's just not true.Â
Obviously this is just a hunch, but maybe the man that wrote this was trying to get himself off the hook for something?

You know why? Because women are all reverse vampires. That's right instead of sucking your blood, if you touch theirs, you'll almost always die. According to The Curse: A Cultural History of Menstruation, men in the 19th century were terrified about women's periods, and it was said that having sex with a woman during menstruation was not only "corrupt", but it caused a whole gamut of diseases. By the 1930s, it was also believed that for a woman to have sex during her period would make them fall ill and bleed more heavily. If anyone out there is still confused you can have sex during menstruation! Many women have said it's even more enjoyable because a) free lube, and b) the post-orgasm contractions can help relieve cramps.Â

There are quite a few problems with the ad, but let's start with the most obvious "Every husband wants his wife to be feminine." Huh. Last time I checked, that wasn't necessarily true. Last time I checked, you could also be feminine without spraying a bunch of product up your twat. Not to mention, the vagina is self-cleaning, and although it's perfectly okay to clean it gently, many products can throw off the balance and cause bacterial infections.Â
Yet, many women were absolutely convinced that in order to make themselves appealing to men, they needed to douche regularly. And it's all thanks to advertisements like this one, with lines like this one: "Demure deodorizes... so pleasantly, you know you're the woman your husband wants you to be."Â

According to The Science of a New Life, a book published by John Cowan in 1869, "Girls who have followed masturbating habits … show usually strong indications of it in the failure of their glandular development. Such persons are apt to be flat-breasted, or, as we term it, flat-chested."
Leave it to the Victorians to make false connections between masturbation and breast size.Â
There's absolutely no valid research to back this up, yet somehow, it was published widely and actually used as a way to shame women away from masturbation. As if there wasn't already a heavy dose of stigma surrounding that anyway. Let's be honest, there still kind of is.Â

Men aren't supposed to be shown love in public! Ew! They have their man thoughts to think. How dare you touch his ear. How dare you smile at him. Do you even know how to be a woman?Â

Okay, yeah, I get it. This is an important tip to keep in mind for anyone. It's best not to talk about all the fun you had with other people on other dates with the waiter at the restaurant where you apparently go on all your dates. Why isn't this just being marketed as a general rule for both parties?Â
Woman: Hey, can I tell you about my new gown?Â
Man: If you must.Â
Woman: Well, I actually got my mother's old gown and refurbished it for myself. In the shoulders I
Man: I was being sarcastic.Â
Woman: Oh.Â
Man: I'm going to tell you about the minute details of my day now. Get ready to nod and smile.Â
Woman: Okay.Â
Man: I feel flattered that you're so interested in me. Also why aren't you smiling more?
Woman: Too busy worrying about my possibly awkward sitting position.

Don't you dare even think about having autonomy over your own drinking habits and what you choose to consume. Do as a man expects you to, and you'll be happy forever.Â

I'm not really sure what to say about this one. There are so many random tips (read: threats) wrapped into one. Don't talk to other men. Don't pass out from too much liquor. You know, if I had to follow all the rules that this woman did, I'd for sure be pounding 'em back, in an attempt to forget where I was. I don't blame her.Â

Yas, kween! You rock that awkward sitting position but don't expect any men to love you.Â

Okay, so now I think we're getting to the point in the article where I can introduce creepy underwear advice from men! It turns out, the last century (and more) was full of so much creepy underwear advice for women, it's hard to choose a place to start. But, here's one that really stands out among the rest...
Dr. William Josephus Robinson shared some fantastically creepy underwear advice for women:Â
"The underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the color should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man."
Pink. Lace. Ruffles. It actually sounds like he's describing children's underwear, no? Anyway, needless to say whether your underwear matches this description or not, Dr. William Josephus Robinson needs to get with it.Â

Okay, so you know how before I suggested that women just never talk?Â
Turns out, Edward Podolsky was really behind this idea, too! In his 1943 book, Sex Today in Wedded Life, he dishes out some very salient advice on how to be a good wife: stop your lady chitter chatter and get to listening to your man about his real man problems.
Dont bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work. Be a good listener.Â
Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business).Â
Morale is a womans business. Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
Ahh, doesn't that just have such a great little sexist ring to it?

I feel extremely bad for whoever was married to Thomas D. Horton.Â
According to his book, entitled What Men Don't Like About Women, (wow, what a killer title, eh? Really just conveys a sense of respect and understanding), he tells women:Â
"Do not show your face until 30 minutes after your man wakes up. Immediately after waking, what a man wants most is not to see or hear his beloved for at least fifteen minutes — preferably a half hour. If more women knew this simple fact, their love life would be happier."
Considering the fact that married people generally live in the same house together, this seems fairly unavoidable. Also, you know, there's that whole thing about this advice being incredibly sexist. I'm really curious to know how he worked this out with his wife (or if he even had a wife). This man sounds incorrigible.Â

Ahh, yes, the old "tampon makes you lose your virginity" myth.Â
As little as a couple of decades ago, there used to be such a stigma against tampons (for this very reason) that many ads warned against using them.Â
However, there are a couple of bizarre things about this myth. First, it's just not true. Making women believe that they can only use pads is cruel punishment for people that already have to bleed out of their vaginas once a month. Second, it doubles down on the stigma for women who have lost their virginity. For many women, there's a sense of complete shame when it comes to losing your virginity, wrapped up in puritan ideas that equate sex with morality. News flash: having sex with people does not make you a bad person.Â

Sure, it's important to maintain a good body odour for yourself and those around you, which can usually be managed with regular hygiene. However, it was expected of women (and still is, to some degree) that they should smell like a rose garden 'round the clock, which just simply isn't true. On top of that, the rule didn't apply to just wearing perfume no, that would be far too easy! Ad companies targeted women for just about every part of their bodies.Â
We already covered douching the vagina, but here's an ad that specifically told women that their hair needed to smell good for when their man decided to take a lil' whiff (after 30 minutes of hiding away from him in the morning time or after dinner, when you're allowed to talk). The ominous tone of this ad is enough to leave many people running out to by the newest in "hair perfume".Â

So, picture this: you've just come out of the Depression. You've been living your worst life for years, and you're finally thinking, Okay, this might get better. You've lost a bunch of weight, due to the fact that you were literally starving.
This ad was released during and after the Depression, and tried to target already-suffering women who had lost weight during that time. Ironized yeast products promised skinny women weight, by which they meant larger hips and breasts, and targeted with language akin to saying:Â
"Men won't like you if you look like that and obviously that's all you should be concerned about, even though you just went through the Depression and you maybe almost starved to death. Anyway, buy our product to make yourself gain weight so you can start refocusing your attention on the things that really matter - impressing guys!"

Don't have small boobs. Don't have big boobs. Can a woman ever win? Apparently not! This ad for a 19th century device called the "Bust Reducer" promised to shrink women's breasts. Ads of this type have two jobs one, to convince the customer that something is wrong with them; two, to convince them that you have the solution.Â
This ad not only convinces women that their proportions are definitely wrong, but that they need to fix them with potentially harmful, restrictive devices. Yuck.

"Maybe men respect them but, believe me, they don't admire dishpan hands!"
According to this 1930s ad (and many more), having hands that show signs of wear from the everyday duties of life, like washing dishes, was enough to threaten a marriage. Dishes? You better do 'em. But you should also feel guilty about the way your hands are going to look after, because they're definitely going to be the straw that breaks the camels back in your love life.Â
Keeping your hands moisturized is an important part of many peoples' routine, but why can't you just sell moisturizer and let people decide when they want to use it, instead of telling people that if they don't buy your product, their marriage is at stake?Â
Even up until the 1970s, women were being targeted for dreaded "dishpan hands". An ad for Palmolive showed a woman dipping her hands in the dish water, because their soap was supposed to be a beauty treatment at the same time.Â

In case you can't read the fine print in this ad, here it is:Â
Shes a girl in a million! Pretty and smart. Dances divinely. Can even cook. But shes ruining her chances by having gap-osis. That is, gaps where her skirt buttons.
Gaps. Where. Her. Skirt. Buttons.Â
Get ready to ad one of the biggest threats to any woman's dignity (not to mention romantic potential) to the list gap-osis. A made up term for a made up problem that will certainly ruin your life. So you better buy this product now if you want to save yourself. And you better save yourself so you can meet your ultimate goal in life finding a husband.Â
Just look at that man choking on his sandwich in disgust at this woman's button gaps. Look at all those arrows coming from his eyes, right toward her dreaded gaps. He can barely look past her dreaded button gaps to judge everything else about the way she looks, the way her hair smells, or the smoothness of her hands. That man better get right the heck out of that devil-picnic right now before he gets roped into listening to that woman talk about herself.

When it comes to guilting women into using their products, Lysol took it to a whole new level. Back in the day, Lysol wasn't just a cleaning product. It was marketed to women as a vaginal douche, as a solution for "vaginal odour."Â

In an interesting turn of events, the product was used by many women as a contraceptive spermicide. Of course, it was horribly unsafe for women to use, because spraying chemicals (especially toxic ones that should only be used as a cleaning agent) up your vagina is obviously bad for you. However, for many women, it was an underground secret that Lysol could be used as a contraceptive. In the days when abortions were illegal, and regular forms of contraceptive were either outlawed or extremely stigmatized, this was seen as a secret trick. I should probably take a moment to say that Lysol is not actually a good contraceptive it doesn't have a great chance of working. However, Lysol began to understand that women were using their product this way, so started marketing it that way, using coded language. In the above ad, you'll note that it refers to "organic matter", which is in reference to sperm.Â
Thanks for reading!
There's something seeing a person litter that drives me up the wall. I remember being a kid and being explicitly told to hold on to my trash and not just throw it in the street. As a kid, I distinctly remember being made fun of for not just throwing the bag of chips I'd just eaten or an empty soda bottle into the gutter.
I can't imagine doing that. Why?! We truly treat this planet as if we have somewhere else to go.
After Redditor pnrddt asked the online community, "What small action immediately makes you dislike a stranger?" people shared their observations.
"Playing music..."
<p>Playing music or having a 'private' conversation via speaker phone in a public place.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginci58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LLCoolBrap</a></p>"When they exhibit..."
<p><strong></strong>When they exhibit a personality trait that I also have, and don't like about myself. Every time I find myself being dismissive or judgemental of somebody, it's just my own insecurity.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">iotangle42</a></p>"When I'm talking..."
<p>When I'm talking and they are not listening. Like they are not even trying to pretend that they are listening.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gincjto?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">eat-the-rich-07</a></p>"Because one of these days..."
<p>A person can treat me like a princess but as soon as I see them mistreating either animals or people, I am out of there. Because one of these days, you'll be on that receiving end.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginpr97?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">starlightradio</a></p>"It just screams..."
<p>Telling people to smile. It just screams condescending and a lack of emotional intelligence.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">3FoolsinaTrenchcoat</a></p>"When I hear that..."
<p>Grown ups using "baby talk" to try to get what they want. I'm not talking about when people goo-goo at babies, but when they use a silly whiney voice to try to persuade people or make people do them a favour.</p><p>"Aww, pwease hewp me wiv dis wittle pwoject."</p><p>When I hear that I instantly lose respect for that person, be it a stranger or someone I know.</p><p>Pet peeve.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginbwb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">handsahwill</a></p>"Okay, we get it..."
<p>One-upping people. "Yeah, that's pretty good, but one time I..." Okay, we get it, your life is more amazing than everyone else's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginhrkd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">well-uh-yeah</a></p>"When out driving..."
<p><strong></strong><strong></strong>When out driving, someone who pulls out in front of you, then proceeds to go 5-10+ mph under the speed limit.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuzzMcBeefy84</a></p>"If you don't..."
<p>Talking negatively about anyone who's just trying to have a good time in a fun setting. If you don't have nice to say shut the hell up.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio4vf5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">intergLACTIC</a></p>"When people..."
<p>When people put other people down to try and make themselves look better. "Oh I'm just playing around with them we're friends." I don't care quit being an @ss you know what you're doing and you should be able to tell you're making them feel bad.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio9p3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inf303</a></p>"If it's into a drain..."
<p>Spitting on the pavement.</p><p>If it's into a drain, that's fair enough, sometimes you get phlegm and you need to get rid of it. Going for a drain shows you're at least considerate of other, imo. But on the floor where anyone can step in it (or if you're in a wheelchair, get it all over your hands from pushing the wheels) is just gross.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginojq3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ghostmadlittlemiss</a></p>When you're in the market for a slew of very specific facts that all fall under the same general theme, the internet really delivers.
Forget streamlined public health capabilities and revolutionized human communication, the true beauty of the internet is all the random, barely useful information you can find when a bunch odd people decide to assemble and swap info.
Homemade TarantulaÂ
<p>"Dental student here. Black hairy tongue is a common condition and it's exactly what it sounds like." </p><p>"It's just caused by buildup of dead skin that becomes hair like because of tobacco use or antibiotic use. Usually combined with lack of frictional forces from brushing"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu9tdq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Alarm-Potential</a></p>Load Em UpÂ
<p>"When a patient gets a kidney transplant, they usually leave the old 2 behind unless there's a significant problem with them."</p><p>"The extra kidney is just tucked in the peritoneum leaving the patient with 3 kidneys."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu6qjd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MedicalJargon-itis</a></p>Come On Mutations!
<p>"Every single melanocyte on your skin (you know, the ones that give your hairs color, and your skin its skin color) is connected to your sympathetic nervous system via modified synapses."</p><p>"No-one knows why they're connected that way - but we do know that under stress, those nerves nuke the pool of stem cells that create hair pigment, which is why it makes you go grey."</p><p>"A few mutations and you could theoretically be able to control them and change color like a chameleon."</p><p>"So in many ways, we're basically walking cuttlefish."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuyo29?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PavlovaPalava</a></p>Play the Long Game, PeopleÂ
<p>"Humans can outpace any animal on the planet."</p><p>"No, we're not the fastest, but if we were chasing the fastest animal (cheetah) we would catch it and be able to keep going."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisujdr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bout3Fidy</a></p>Little Helpful CrittersÂ
<p>"There are little microscopic organisms living in your eyebrows, eating away at the dead skin."</p><p>"Don't freak out, they are very helpful and completely harmless, just a little gross"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giud33u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vid-Me-BossCheesburg</a></p>Thankfully That Filter is a Pretty Good OneÂ
<p>"Saliva is filtered blood. Your tears are too. And if you're too stressed out you can cry blood."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitshe5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>Imagine It All in a BottleÂ
<p>"I know that the average human churns out between 1 and 2 liters of saliva every day.... oh and we have parasites who are embedded in our hair follicles, and they eat away at our skin, thus causing Dandruff :,)"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisrxcc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Throwawayyy123451</a></p>So HotÂ
<p>"Humans give off so much body heat that in 30 min we can boil a gallon of water" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Financial-Ad-6050</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Rookie numbers" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuvqqt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nopenothappening</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Pshh I can get a gallon of water boiling in like 10 minutes tops" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuhji3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ridiculouslygay</a></p>Oh DearÂ
<p>"Old ladies often have prolapse of their pelvic organs. This means their vaginal walls got so weak that it can no longer support their bladder or uterus."</p><p> -Nurse practitioner"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitopxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">vespertinas</a></p>Working in a doctor's office means helping people when they're at their lowest. Sometimes, that leads to wonderful moments when the patient is thankful for all the advice and care you provided. Other times, it means taking something out of someone's bum.
Turns out, that second one happens a lot more than you might think.
For Fashion And Protection
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMwOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjkwNTU2OX0.6D-LIQ26JXH0-7OtPpG93HOtt41wAv62bGHMVvuAYpk/img.gif?width=980" id="7ff06" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6109fb5baf04f17deade8b58695881d1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />wound up season 3 GIFGiphy<p>I had a patient come in with lacerations to her fingers. Her blender got clogged and she stuck her hand inside to clear it. She cleared it and the blender resumed....um blending. Luckily, she had long acrylic nails. This helped lessen the impact.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitz5l4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Bornagainchola</a></p>I'd Rather Go To Sleep
<p>Guy came in after being concerned the bed sheet had stuck to his lower leg. Turns out hed been using a petrol mower the evening before and it had exploded. Full thickness burn to his calf. No pain. He wanted to go home to feed his cows instead of being transferred to burns and plastics. Man it looked like white leather.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitkqf9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DamaskRoses</a></p>Why Play Typical Catch?
<p>Guy was camping with his frat buddies and they were firing air rifles at each other with a baseball glove on.</p><p>The pellet was lodged well into his hand. Like, how did you think this was going to end?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitq7lt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Milesofstyle</a></p>Close Eyes Off From The World
<p>I was in the ER as a patient next to a guy who was brought in via ambulance because he super glued his eye lids shut.</p><p>He was high as a kite, but so was I from the pain meds I'd been given for my own injury. Whatever meds I was given made me think everything was hilarious. I got yelled at by the nurses for laughing hysterically in the next room. He was being a pain in the a--, ER was on diversion already, and they were not amused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/githxnc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">brubarbal</a></p>That's Why It's Called A "Dog" Toy
<p>A few stand out. Person somehow swallowed a spiked dog toy.</p><p>Someone tried to reverse his circumcision by cutting more of his d-ck off with a pair of scissors.</p><p>About every object known to man up the bum. 🎵 if you like it then you shoulda put a string on it." 🎵</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitnt24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bsn2fnp1</a></p>Yeah, But, How?
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjAyNTM0OX0.Esaobyl7Yq7QltSxli0ZwjggE7j8A4gu0uNRnn1ZwUc/img.gif?width=980" id="95a28" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f4eb7f0131c0d79db2de93fd2bbdc0af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>I've seen an internal vaginal laceration from someone climbing a fence while trying to see something happening down the street.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss2id?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">midturbinate</a></p>Again With The Butt...
<p>ER Nurse here</p><p>-We had a girl come in and who knows what she was doing but she had one of the thin glow sticks in her bladder, maybe some fun finger/glow play during a concert? I don't know but pretty wild.</p><ul><li>Also I had a Spanish speaking only gentleman explain why a shoe polish bottle was in his bum, we had to use a video interpreter due to the language barrier but it's was pretty wild to hear the interpreter say "I have a bottle of polish in my anus" after expecting him to just explain why he had belly pain. We also proceeded to print out multiple pictures of common types of shoe polish he used to ask him if it was "this one or that one". It was hilarious when he identified what one it was based on the picture, he had to go to the OR</li></ul><div><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AirFryersRule</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></div>Sounds Like A College Guy Thing To Do
<p>Had a university student who ignited a firework in his anus while drunk for the amusement of his buddies. It exploded, causing full thickness burns of his rectum, resulting in him needing a colostomy</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss6l1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ArcofRiolan</a></p>Wow...
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDI4OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDMyMzMyMn0.b42VhIpJrAsaFR19Cf55ZVkWnby5yTIrMhI73HVAImk/img.gif?width=980" id="3ccdf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50847094a4e17c16febbb35d2146f14f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />scared homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>Operating theatre - this woman came in with a frozen chicken stuck inside her lady parts. Apparently she had a habit of buying them, inserting them and then pulling them out, as she really had a thing for going through childbirth, but on this occasion, she hadn't allowed time for it to defrost properly /adequately.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mike_OxonFaier/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mike_OxonFaier</a></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>I love movies. The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations. But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic. I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials. The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.
Redditor u/fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking.... What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?