You ever just hear someone ask a question and immediately facepalm?
And then you make the grown up choice to take pity on them and explain away exactly what it is that made you facepalm in the first place. What a nice person you are.
Here were some of those answers.
It Don't Take A Jean-iusGiphy
The difference between genes and jeans.
One gets handed down by your parents, the other gets handed down by an older sibling who outgrew them.
Not Understanding Literally Anything
I had to explain to a friend that Amish people know electricity exists, and that they just didn't believe we should use it. I also had to tell her that we generate electricity in power plants, and that it doesn't just float around in the air.
Going After The Ignorance
I used to run a lot of credit checks in my old job. For some reason, people from a specific country failed them about 95% of the time, everyone knew they did. I got really curious one day as to why especially these people are almost always failing the credit checks. i delved deep into google and literally found a published government study, looking into why these specific immigrants were having financial trouble more than any other group.
Turns out, credit, the idea of money other than cash does not exist there. so they have no clue as to how bank credits or credit cards etc work. They don't know about interest etc.
They think someone is just giving them money. And when they come to our country, private moneylenders go after these people specifically, and tell them its almost free money. So they keep getting into huge debt without realising. Government was trying to curb predatory lending and create educational opportunities for these people.
It sounds wild that someone thinks credit cards are free money but apparently there is a whole community out there, completely oblivious and end up getting the worst kind of wake up call after their lives are ruined due to bad credit scores.
...And Sometimes Ignorance Is Bliss
"Why don't, like, North Koreans vote for, like, a better government?"
Back when Kim Jong Il was alive I asked one of more clueless friends if she knew who he was. She responded with "Yeah. He's that asian guy from the Hangover movie." When I bust out laughing she doubled down with "I don't follow pop culture." I had to explain to her that he was the dictator of North Korea which then lead to a follow up explaination that yes, there is a north and a south Korea and no, they are not like north and south Carolina.
We were 25 at the time.
This Is How Keys Work
My company leased a space to a daycare center that came with a storage shed for outdoor toys. One day I got a call from the new manager of the daycare stating that we gave her the wrong keys for the lock on the shed. I was surprised, as we hadn't had any complaints from the previous manager. I told her this and asked her to try them again. She called back the next day and said that the keys weren't correct and she needed a new lock.
At this point I decided to drive across town and check it out. When I got there she was in a bad mood and started complaining about how she shouldn't have to deal with things like this. I apologized for the company and asked her to hand me the key so I could try. She insisted it didn't work, but gave it to me anyway. I walked over to the unit, inserted the key, turned it and the lock sprang open. I actually wasn't expecting this so I just turned to her.
Her response: nobody ever told me that you had to turn the key.
Sloths ARE Real, Brenda
Just because you only have ever seen a duck in the water; doesn't mean that ducks don't fly.
She was 28, and didn't think that sloths were real either.
Angelica, Eliza...And Green Peppers
That the pizza place that I worked at sold pizza... One time a guy was ordering a cheesesteak and said he wanted peppers. I said ok, we have hot, sweet, and green peppers, and asked him which he would like. He responded "angry peppers." I do talk fast so my words tend to blend together sometimes, but it took a good two minutes to explain that there was no such thing as an "angry pepper," and that I was really saying AND GREEN peppers.
Per My Last Email
Me to security guard: "Hi, I am from (Companyname) to do (job). May you contact the Super/Building Manager to let them know I am here?
Security Guard: (Stares blankly for almost 10 seconds.) "Who are you and why are you here?"
Me: (Repeat same greeting word for word.)
Security Guard: (Radios Super/Manager) "(Not the company name I said) is here."
Super/Manager: "Who? I didn't call for them!"
Security Guard to me: "He says you have no business here."
Me: (Internally explodes.)
Some people are just stupid beyond help.
Deleting Major Pieces Of Infrastructure
That you cannot "delete the internet" (I've posted this before.)
Coworker: Can someone come look at my computer? I've deleted the internet.
Me, thinking I'm being trolled: Hur, hur. That's impossible. But nice try.
Coworker throws a fit about how IT people never take him seriously, blah, blah, blah. I go over to check his computer and find he'd deleted the Internet Explorer icon on his desktop.
This Is Why You'll Never Hear The Wolf Cry To The Blue Corn MoonGiphy
Pocahontas wasn't created by Disney. This dude was a history teacher.
Most Disney movies, especially the classics, are kid-friendly retellings of old fairy tales that were super not kid friendly to begin with. Little Mermaid is an excellent example of this. The real ending is horrifying.
Don't Tell Him About Pasta
We have a college intern who apparently never had anyone cook for him, so he was confused when I said I made garlic bread for dinner the night before. I explained that if you buy bread, garlic and butter, you can put them together to make your own garlic bread at home. He was flabbergasted.
That the groundhog doesn't actually make the weather get hot or stay cold.
It was groundhogs day that week. She said "I hope the groundhog doesn't see it's shadow because I'm sick of this cold weather." We had like a 30 minute conversation about how that was just a tradition and didn't actually change the weather. She did not believe me.
I also had to tell this girl (a mother of two who has been pregnant more times than that) about menopause and how you have no choice to go through it. "I'm not doing that." was her response.
Friend of mine started working at a garden center. She said she learned that you water the dirt, and not the leaves, she always thought you had to water the leaves. I said, well yeah, photosynthesis. She replied "well sorry I didnt take photography in school like you did!"
.....we were in our 20s.
It Only Takes A Moment
I once had to show a 23 year old how to use a screwdriver. Not an electric, A normal flat head screw driver to take an outlet cover off.
She didn't understand that you have to keep it straight on...
I was in shock, though I tried to hide it. I got the impression that she grew up in a traditional household, where women cook and clean and men did anything mechanical (mow lawn, fix things, hang pictures etc.)
This, But East
Me, college freshman: "My family is from Eastern Europe."
Partygoer: "where's that?"
Me: gestures with hands "So this is Europe"
Me: gestures with right hand "This is Eastern Europe"
I Wasn't Born Yet, So, No?
My dad died in 1989, when I was seven. He was very old, born in 1920, and had served in WW2, something I was pretty proud of as a kid. Several years go by and I end up with an atrocious fifth grade teacher. I wrote a paper about my dad and had to very slowly explain out to her how it was possible that my father was a World War 2 vet. She ended up calling my mom to confirm and still seemed to have her doubts in the classroom. But this wasn't the stupidest thing. One day, during class, she asked me if my dad had died in the war. The war that ended in 1945, a little over three and a half decades before my birth, that war. I explained to her that he had passed away from cancer a few years ago and gently reminded her of my age. And I silently thanked her for telling a classroom full of vicious children that my father was dead, arming the bullies with some very potent taunts. Great work.
You were the absolute worst, Mrs Glodt.
You work hard for your money, you should be allowed to use it.
What's the most expensive thing you've bought?
Being an adult means sometimes, the most expensive thing you can buy, is something extremely practical and inoffensive.
Aw, That's Nice
"Diamond earrings for my mother. She believes that you can't buy diamonds for yourself, as a tradition, but no one has ever given her diamonds as a gift, so when I grew up and started earning money, I bought her earrings, she cried with happiness."
Should Have Kept It Small
"Small boat w/ trailer. Worst decision ever. I should've just gone with a kayak"
"Mountain bike. It cost more than any car I've ever owned"
"I only slightly regret the price because I should have gone higher. Yeti SB130 if you're wondering."
Treat Your Fingers
"An Ibanez Prestige guitar for 1500$. I've always played on normal priced guitars so wanted to try what the deal is with these higher priced guitars. The thing plays like a dream. Being new to a floyd rose bridge system, it is a pita but I'm sure I'll overcome this hurdle later. In case anyone is wondering, it is a model RG652AHM."
The most expensive thing you buy might not even be something you were expecting to spend a lot of money on. In fact, it might be something you didn't even plan on buying in the first place.
Something To Play On
"A ps4 at a third-world country."
"You think ps5 scalpers that sell the console for thousands of dollars are bad? That's cute. They ain't got shit on legit big stores that import the console legitimately and have to raise the price because of nasty import taxes."
"I bought a Gaming PC and the cost was like buying a Cheap Motorcycle in my country (Mexico)"
"Gaming in 3rd World Countries is hard , no wonder why everyone plays mobile games like Free Fire"
Do They Make Good Pets?
"I got pigeons as pets, 4 in total. My second pigeon I brought him (Pulgas) from a slaughter house cause I was looking for a mate for my first pigeon (Nieves). Well I ended up paying $20 for him and after a month he got really sick and we had to take him to the vet. After treatment and care the total cost was $550. And that's how I ended up with a $570 pigeon named Pulas, the little isopod of the house lol"Bormahu-3-
Buying Something That Might Explode One Day
"A freeze dryer. This thing had an 80 lb vacuum pump that ran on mineral oil and it could drop the air pressure of its chamber to below 300mTorr and the temperature to below -50 F. It would take about 36-48 hours to freeze dry 7 lbs of food. It was an electricity hog and probably could have exploded or caused a fire if operated incorrectly."
"I kept it in my parent's garage."
Looking at all the entries, for the average person, the most valuable thing you own might be the very thing you're living in.
Or clothes. It could be clothes.
"But it was worth it"
"Marriage is grand. Divorce is 5 grand."
Hurts Now. Pays You Back Later.
"Yep! And then all the things you need to work on in the house..."
"The Great thing about a house, though, is that while it is extremely expensive (absolutely the most expensive thing I have ever purchased by far) it is almost guaranteed to make you money over time. Where I live, housing is at a premium. We bought our first home a year and a half ago and it's estimated value has already risen $70 k. It's an investment that you also get to live in and enjoy. That's not something you can say about all expensive purchases."
It's A Storage Unit Full Of Useless Crap
"I'm going to clarify the question by adding "useless" to the sentence. The obvious answers as the question stands are going to be those big ticket items like a house or car, luxury or not."
"So what's the most expensive, useless item I have ever purchased?"
"Well, maybe useless wasn't the best choice but I bought an RV with a payout received from a court case. Should have paid bills or something. I rarely use it."
"I once dropped $3500 on "dress clothes" at Macy's only to never wear them because the office I worked at wasn't business formal."
"I pay monthly for a storage unit full of stuff I don't need or want but can't manage to get rid of."
"When I get a windfall like a bonus or stimulus check, I like to go on AliExpress or Joom and buy $2-300 worth of useless crap."
Don't fret over what you own. Enjoy it. There's no reason no to be thankful you could afford it in the first place.
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Rules are in place to maintain some semblance of order. But that doesn't mean they are always effective.
There are many grammatical rules that are broken, like nouns acting as adjectives, or nouns acting like verbs.
To explore this concept and to hear input from strangers online, Redditor Shabbydarstqc asked:
"What 'exception to the rule' do you live by?"
According to these Redditors, telling the truth doesn't always set them free.
"Being honest. There's times where the truth isn't always for the better."
"You can be honest but you don't have to tell them everything you know."
Feel The Room
"Actually, when you are saying the truth you should consider why you are saying it. If it's to make someone look bad or yourself look good, you should say nothing at all."
Reeling It In
"Everything in moderation, including moderation."
"Basically, exercise restraint and self-control, but not to an extent that it bars me from new experiences, and with the understanding that it's okay to be a complete, sloppy disaster person sometimes."
Generally speaking, we should all treat everyone with kindness.
But, when we're wronged, do we take it lying down?
"Be nice to everyone, you never know what they are dealing with..."
"Except the b*tch that made a huge scene about my disabled son in a packed store at the checkout."
So What Happened Was...
"My son was 5 at the time. He has Septo-optic dysplasia, schizencephaly, and autism. Basically, he's missing two parts of his brain, had brain surgery for a large mass from the schizencephaly, totally blind in one eye and tunnel vision in the other. (It's honestly a miracle he is as functional as he is)."
"Anyway, we were behind the woman currently checking out. There was coloring books at the end of the check out line. He asked if he could look at them and I said that's fine. So he starting flapping his hands while walking that way because he was excited. The side she was standing on was the side he can't see out of. While flapping, his hand grazed her backside and she went off that he groped her. Yelled and pointed in the store that my 5 year old, that you can physically see is disabled- sexually assaulted her by groping her butt. Thankfully he had no idea the scene was about him because he was looking at the coloring books at that point. Im not one to yell, especially in public but I did. Then went to my car and cried wondering how many people like this he's gonna have to deal with in his life. It sucked."
It's all a matter of preference for these Redditors.
Being In Control
"Everyone in the neighborhood hires a lawn service to mow, weed, and trim their properties."
"I do my own - not because I can't afford it, but because I prefer the results when I do it myself."
"100%, same for food."
"$15 at home gets you a family meal and maybe leftovers, tastes good, decently healthy."
"$30 out gets you a family meal that is kind of meh, too salty and probably too greasy."
"Home Ec is a dying art."
"All things sugar free - except my coffee."
"Hah I'm the other way around. I love sugar, but keep it away from my coffee."
A Matter Of Taste
"Vegetarian except for lobster corn chowder."
"In my defense, the haters claim there is no actual lobster in the chowder so that's my excuse for eating it. It's been so long since I've had actual lobster that I forgot what it tastes like."
Going Off The Footpath
"Shoes. I just don't wear them unless I'm snowboarding, my boss is gonna show up to work, or I plan on doing a lot of walking around outside in the snow."
"I don't care about the needing to wear shoes signs at places."
As a general fan of cinema, I am open to watching all genres of film.
I'm also a huge fan of horror, and I can take bloody carnage, and everything having to do with the supernatural.
However, there is ONE film I refuse to watch, and that's Human Centipede.
Seriously, why would anyone ever watch it? I don't have to see it to know it is gratuitous and made for shock value only.
I challenge anyone that might argue it has artistic integrity. And if they try to make me watch it to prove a point, I just might allow them the win if only to spare me from puking my guts out.
Secrets, lies, and betrayal. That is often the foundation of a family. We can go through life thinking our families are perfect and everyone loves one another, that's the training that keeps us from searching for the skeletons in the closets.
But our secrets will always find a way to break free. We may not even be alive to see the outcome, which is anti-climactic, but they will be out of the dark eventually. And once we learn what some loved ones are hiding, life as we know it can be obliterated.
Some secrets may best be buried. So be really sure you want to know everything.
Redditor u/mykirto wanted to hear about all the family drama they've been uncovered, by asking:
What is the most f**ked up thing you found about your family?
My family has a history that includes the mafia, the FBI, murder in an asylum, alcohol, drugs... the list is endless. And I'd rather just watch Days of Our Lives.
Family IssuesStephen Colbert Love GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy
"My mother told me that my dad, wasn't my real dad, drunk one night when I was 16. That was 31 years ago. To this day his side of the family still thinks I'm his."
Show me the $$$
"One of my uncles borrowed $20,000 from my other more successful Uncle to start a business and refuses to pay his more successful brother back because he's "got so much money already". The more successful uncle refuses to sue him because that's not what family does, but they are no longer on speaking terms."
Mum is crazy...
"My great-grandmother helped cover up a murder. Claimed the guy was a psychopath and attacked her daughter and granddaughter for no reason. In actuality, my mum was going through a phase where she would try to get men turned on by rubbing her arse on them. This guy pushed her off and told her to screw off."
"My mum took offence to this and claimed the guy was trying to take her clothes off. My grandmother, who was on all the drugs, came out of her room and stabbed the guy to death to protect her daughter. My mum told the truth after the guy was dead and they came up with a cover up story so that they wouldn't get in trouble."
We were on a BREAK!!!
"My grandpa and grandma broke up for a few weeks in August 1962. In that one week my grandpa got drunk one night and got the woman living across the hall from my grandma pregnant, and my grandma had a fling with a married man while on the late shift as a bartender and got pregnant herself. My grandparents got married and my grandma passed my aunt barb off as my grandpas child."
"The other woman gave my aunt Joyce up for adoption. Both were born exactly a week apart. 30 years later my mom was getting married and visited my Grandmas sister to hand out wedding invitations. My Grandmas sister decided that was the perfect occasion to tell my mother out of nowhere that my Aunt Barb was not my grandpas biological daughter. My mom was shocked and confronted my Grandma after the visit and who denied it."
"My mom then decided stupidly to keep it secret. It was kept a secret from my Aunt Barb for 40 years until my aunt Joyce found my grandpa and looked exactly like him. That is when my aunt Barb had a DNA test done and confirmed she wasn't his daughter. It took my aunt barb 17 years to find her real fathers family and she finally found them last year. They all accepted her into the family."
WTFSteve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy
"My Dad lives in his car and is only given enough money for basic food and is only allowed in the house to clean it. He's more of a household servant than anything."
Yeah, that is a whole lotta mess. That's why sometimes you just have to change your name, or fake your death. These people are crazy.
CaptorFrustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy
"I have done extensive genealogical research and found that my maternal family enslaved over 700 human beings."
"My grandad had sex with everyone of my grandma's 5 sisters, over about 40 years, 3 he had long term affairs with. It all came out at my grandma's 60th birthday party when everyone had too much to drink. Fun times, trying to get between several old women, trying to prevent them from punching one another."
"While cleaning out a relative's house after his funeral, we discovered that the family member was virtually on a first name basis with every major law enforcement department (city, state and federal) within a 100 mile radius. Among other things, he had consulted on FBI cases."
"He wore his disdain for all politicians openly. So, imagine our surprise to discover that he'd been invited to almost every Presidential inauguration within the last forty'ish years. I never had any illusions that I ever truly knew this family member. But if I had, they would've gone away after discovering all that stuff."
"My great grandfather would lock my uncle in one of those big metal toolboxes you sometimes see in the back of trucks for hours as a form of punishment when he was a kid. I can't even imagine how hot it must have been being locked up outside in one of those during the summer. He must have been terrified. I see now why my uncle's a drug addict with a crap ton of mental health issues. And that's not even the worst thing my great grandfather did but that's not my story to tell."
Lord DNA can be messy. And now I want to know even less of my family's past. I'm going to cancel my Ancestry DNA package. Let's be strangers.
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There are some things that society just seems to expect adult humans to be able to do, but it looks like not everyone got the memo.
Whether due to never being taught, or a simple inability to pick up the skill no matter how much you practice, there are some things that some folks just can't do.
I was a teenager before I was finally able to properly ride a bicycle, and even now I'm not a stranger to falling off. Let me tell you: flying over the handle bars of a bike hurt a heck of a lot more at 25 than it did at 15.
Reddit user DeterminedGames asked the folks over on AskReddit:
Whistle While You Work
I can't whistle.
I'm certain it has something to do with the shape of my mouth and tongue. Been trying to whistle for 20 years and all i've managed is a very deep single tone that sounds like wind through an old building lol
Ugh I even watched YouTube tutorials and read a whole wikiHow article and I am still unable to do it.
Sticking With It Is Hard
Long-term passion for an activity.
There are people who remain active in a single hobby or club for decades. I can't do that. I burn out on most things after a couple months max.
I'm the same but I've convinced myself it isn't such a bad thing.
I enjoy trying new things and I'm kind of the 'jack of all trades but master of none' type, which I think is probably more useful in day to day life, rather than being really specialised at something.
I’ve always struggled with that. lately I’ve been trying to wrap new hobbies into my old ones. Oh, you’re tired of woodworking but doing photography? Guess what we’re filming your woodworking now!
Is It Worth It, Though?
Neatly folding the laundry. Usually it looks... acceptable. Unless it's a fitted sheet, then it just looks chaotic.
Shower thought: but is it worth it?
I can’t roll my R’s
So I’ll never be able to properly speak Spanish or impersonate AOSTH Robotnik
Same, my mother tongue has a lot of rolling Rs and I just never clicked it. It's taken me years of practice to even manage to do it properly occasionally, and if there are a lot of consonants around the R, there's no way I'm gonna say it right. People frequently laugh at my pronunciation of certain words in said language bc I sound like a lil kid or that dude in the Princess Bride. Meanwhile my younger brothers, who've lived in the UK all their lives, can speak the language with perfect accents. :/
Words Are Hard
I forget words and end up silent or saying something really stupid and then it's awkward.
I feel that, people always seem to have every word they need ready, and I'm just sitting there thinking of a single world that fits the situation...
I feel you. Sometimes I’m at the end of my sentence and then just forget the last part. I just give up on the sentence when that happens. Sometimes other people finish the sentence for me which is pretty awkward.
As Long As It Works
I can only tie my shoes by doing bunny ears
Yeah same and I don’t give a damn that I can’t do it the ‘adult’ way.
What's That Look For?
When someone gives me 'a look' I have absolutely no idea what they mean
People shouldn't always expect people to pick up on subtle signals, even if they think it's very obvious themselves.
And then they get mad because I couldn’t understand the “weshouldgotalkoutsidewhiletheyaregoingtodancesothatwecanbealoneandeatsomefreepizza” look. what the f**k?
I can't even make straight lines due to my hands being so shaky. Fortunately I can get around this by using art programs with bézier curves and other shaping tools.
Drawing is an unfathomable mystery to me. I just don't understand how people can do it. I've never been able to.
Talking to people randomly. I can carry the conversation for hours with literally anyone, but they have to initiate it
My brother is 48. He mostly has his same friend circle as we did in high school. Other people can be around for years but if they haven't initiated a conversation with him. He doesn't speak to them. People have said they thought he was an arrogant a*s but one day they said something to him directly and he talked their ear off. He's shy, not arrogant.
I Want To Ride My Bicycle
Bike riding. Never learned because I had supposed epilepsy and fainted a lot when younger.
I can't ride either. Tried to learn as a kid but couldn't get the hang of it. Friends tried to teach me as a bigger person. I can go, but can't turn. I'm afraid of getting hit by a car too.
You might get teased for not being good at any one of these skills. But the likelihood is, if you've made it this far without the skill, you're probably fine.