Have you ever watched an ad and thought “wow that's just what I need!"? I have. Show me any type of time-saver, miracle device and I'm ready to give up my money. Unfortunately, none of these uni-taskers hold up in our busy house. Miracle stain remover? Still stained. All in one stick vacuum? Works great except it plugs up at least twice per use requiring full disassembly. Magic skincare? Burned my cheeks red.
Thankfully, it's not just us with bad luck. When Redditor jab116 asked “What is the most overrated product you've purchased?" people were glad to share all the times they'd been duped by clever marketing.
Biggest lie of the millennial childhood...not capitalism, the other one...lil yachty kyle GIF by stalebagel Giphy
Sea Monkeys. When I was little, I ordered some from the back of a comic book. I thought they would look like the picture, a nuclear family who would interact and talk to me. Unfortunately, they were turned out to be very nonsentient brine shrimp. It was very anticlimactic.”
“The caked on makeup just isn't necessary...”
“Jeffery stars liquid lipstick. It dried the sh*t outta my lips and felt Hella uncomfortable. I only wore it once. It was so hyped up a couple years ago. Also tarte eyeshadow pallets are acceptable for the price. I bought a couple and was like....eh. I just buy colourpop now.”
“Also any foundation feels bad on my skin. I have spent hundreds on so many different foundations. Beauty filters on YouTube need to stop.”
“I don't wear foundation now. The caked on makeup just isn't necessary for 90% of people, and is a way to sell way too much makeup by making you feel bad about how your skin looks, with texture etc.”
“...had to nearly rip my nipple off to get the bra off of me.”
“Anyone remember those sticky cup strapless-backless bras? The ads were all over Facebook and Instagram for a while. I eventually gave in and bought one.”
“The whole point of them in the ads was like pull the string in the middle to give yourself instant mega cleavage, and you can wear it under strapless/ backless clothes. Unfortunately, pulling your boobs together into ultra mega cleavage just means it makes the volume of your boobs flatter to pull them closer together, and since all it had was skin to stick to, and nothing but stickiness to hold it up, it was not very supportive.”
“It was sticky enough for one proper use, but even still, the edges peeled away from my skin pretty quickly. There is a little cutout in the middle that's not sticky. That's where the nipple is meant to go.”
“My nipples did not naturally or comfortably line up with those holes, so I had this incredibly sticky bra suction cupped to my tit, and had to nearly rip my nipple off to get the bra off of me.”
“After that, it is impossible to wash and store anywhere. The sticky surface becomes slick when wet, but goes back to sticky when it gets dry (but never as sticky as the first time).”
“It has to air dry because towel fibres will get stuck on it, and it wouldn't survive a trip through the washer and dryer. It cannot be stored in a drawer, or touching any material because fibres will get stuck on it, and it cannot be stored face up with nothing covering it because dust will get stuck on it, thereby rendering it un-sticky until you wash it again, and air dry it again, and store it wrong again, rinse and repeat until you throw it in the garbage.”
It wasn’t any better for the next person...#teamscorpion dancing GIF by CBS Giphy
“I wore one clubbing once and let me tell you, worst decision ever. One minute I'm dancing on a podium with a couple of friends, then I just feel it unstick all at once and drop out the bottom of my dress.”
“I subtly kick it off the podium hoping nobody noticed and then 30 seconds later I turn around to a group of 18 year old guys holding it up to their chests and dancing, absolutely losing it. Thankfully I don't think they knew it was mine.”
Are they still around?
“Sears ‘best"’canister vacuum cleaner. It was expensive, but lasted a few days over one year and quit (with only light household use).”
“Sears wouldn't stand behind it. The cost of parts and repair was greater than the cost of the vacuum cleaner. No wonder Sears is in trouble.”
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
“Your house will smell like sh*t.”
“Cloth diapers. My god some of these parents have to stop raving about how amazing cloth diapers are. They are at best an ok alternative to disposable diapers."
“Things I was told about cloth diapers. Less blowouts, less rashes, better for the environment, cheaper. Most of these just depend on your child. And honestly I found most of these false."
“Things they don't tell you. Your house will smell like sh*t. You will constantly be doing laundry. When you're out of the house you'll be carrying around a dirty diaper. If the baby hates being wet you'll constantly be changing them. Daycares don't take them. Babysitters hate them. Diaper changes take way longer!"
“More power to any parent who uses. Like seriously god bless you. But they have some major downsides and I'll happily take Pampers over cloth."
Kinky.Hose Clog GIF by DrSquatchSoapCo Giphy
“A garden hose that was ‘unkinkable’, I paid extra for the guaranteed kink free feature. It kinked up like a motherfugger.”
Not always a great investment...
“Nearly everything i bought on Kickstarter/Indiegogo. if i got the product at all, they're almost always low quality and don't do what they said they would. some products would ship but the company goes under within a year or two so no more support or replacement parts.“
Nearly finished him!
“When I was around 9, I got really convinced by their $5m marketing campaign with Mortal Kombat that the Aura Interactor was going to be awesome. It was basically a haptic feedback backpack that converted bass sounds to rumbles and was supposed to make video games super immersive.”
“I was actually nervous that it was going to hurt me, like actually feel like I was being punched. I (somehow) convinced my mom to buy it, set the thing up, and ten minutes later I smelled smoke and then saw the smoke coming from the Interactor on my back.”
Why didn't I know this as a broke college student!?GIF by Queen Giphy
“Most of my academic books. All the pdfs are available online“
“Coach refused to fix it...”
“Coach handbag. The strap broke after a few months and Coach refused to fix it (after I brought it back and the receipt to the store where I had purchased it). I bought an inexpensive replacement strap that lasted longer. After less than a year, there was evident wear at the seams. I have not purchased anything from Coach again.“
“ArcheAge. I remember it being marketed as "sandbox MMO with realistic player-driven economy". There was a pack that let you into alpha, a pack that let you into beta, and a pack that let you into few days of early access.”
“All of the packs contained nothing but some cosmetic items irrelevant to the economy. The alpha was good. The beta was good. But with the final release, they fired up the cash store with such extreme pay-to-win...”
You mean infomercials lied to us?
“I bought the slap chop, pure garbage. It literally exploded upon use as directed. No flames or anything, but all the parts came apart and went flying."
“I saw the commercials for it once and got all excited telling my SO about it. She, the person that actually cooks, informed me that you still had to cut everything small enough to fit in the thing plus that you now have a bunch more sh!t to clean after you're done cutting vegetables."
.lAnd now you're telling me there's also shrapnel to worry about. Good thing I didn't buy it."
About the grossest thing on this thread.
“Ear Wax candles. After laying on the floor like an idiot with a flaming burning candle in my ear, I took a minute to actually think about the process...fools gold.”
“I had to return the first one I bought...”
“I bought a platform bed on the recommendation of the Wirecutter. They had this whole big spiel about how they test sh*t, this is the best affordable option, blah blah blah. I had to return the first one I bought because it came scratched up.”
“The second one is just a plain, cheap platform bed. I don't think there's anything about it different from what I could have gotten from just hunting down the cheapest version of the product.”
“An ‘indestructible’ dog bed. Even claimed it could withstand bulldogs. Well, my bulldog tore out the rod that propped it open, which turned out to be flimsy plastic. Within a week, she had torn off a zipper, and ripped the filling out. I was more angry at the company for making such false claims than my under one year old dog.”
“Cable TV. More of a service than a product. Spent the past 5 years without it. Had it for 2 months and there is nothing worth watching.“
“I had cable tv for a couple of years. Then I'd turn on the TV and within 5 seconds I recognize the episode as one I'd already seen which, of course, is followed up over the next few hours with ones I'd already seen. Travel channel isn't even about travel anymore and there are a lot of shows on Animal Planet that aren't even about animals. It is like every channel specialized and then changed direction.”
Should have known not to trust that guy...My Pillow Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy
“My Pillow. It's the worst pillow I've ever used, it is a cotton bag of these foam tetris type blocks, there are 3 levels of firmness based on how many blocks the pillow has. I ordered the firmest level and the pillow was like 1/3 full. It was a totally useless pillow.”
“The return process requires an RMA and they take 20% or something for "restocking". So obviously that's their business plan, sell a cheap overpriced product w heavy advertising, make it hard to return so most people don't bother and charge a restocking fee even if they do return it.”
The most useless of them all...Dumpster Fire GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
“I bought my first planner ever in January 2020. I was going to start school again and thought ‘yea I'll get a planner to really get my life together’. Little did I know the universe had other plans so now it's just a book full of scribbled out meetings and cancelled conferences.”
A great rule of thumb—if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.
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Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.
Sometimes, it becomes extremely clear that it's time to leave.
That goes for short term situations like a bizarre social moment, or longer term commitments like work or relationships.
Whatever the context, there is typically a tipping point moment when all the variables appear to suggest things have become unsafe, wildly uncomfortable, or maybe even a tad illegal.
It's those moments when all you can think about is the door.
Redditor Thotus_Maximus asked:
"What was your biggest 'I'm out' moment?"
Many people talked about the times they went to parties that turned out to be very different from what they had in mind.
"Went to a friend of a friend's 35th birthday party. There were like 3 people there when we showed up. Birthday boy says everyone's in the basement. Okay cool."
"We go down to the basement. Someone's DJing, they've got cool lighting, there's like 30 people dancing. After a minute or 2 we realize everyone in the basement is like 13. Nope Nope Nope."
THAT Kinda Party
"Lived in a hotel for a while when I was 18-19. One day a bunch of people I've met at the pool wanted to go up to this dudes room and party. I thought we were gonna drink, smoke, and have a conversation, but that's not how it went."
"While everyone went up there, I had to go back to my room and change clothes. When I finally went to join them, I walked in and saw this dude injecting hard drugs. I sh** you not, this dude turned completely blue and dropped to the ground like a rock. When I saw that, I just dipped."
"He got picked up by an ambulance and survived. When I saw him in the elevator the next day, he seemed like a completely different person. Seein' stuff like that (that wasn't my first time witnessing od's), I think kept me away from the drugs that can kill you easily."
The Great Escape
"I was at a party when I was a teen. Cops turned up. I was stuck upstairs. But there was a balcony and underneath a pool. And beyond the pool a gate leading to an alley."
"So I jumped in the pool."
"But when I resurfaced there were already two cops standing there looking at me."
Other Redditors recalled the times they encountered strangers that did not appear to have their best interest at heart, to say the least.
"Was approached by someone and we talked about how we went to the same college and I showed him some of my art work, he thought it was pretty cool and offered me an opportunity and wanted to talk more later because I was at work at the time."
"I met up with him and his girlfriend and he told about what he mentioned. As I say there listening, it sounded familiar and BAM! It hit me. It was a pyramid scheme, it had nothing to do with art or any job prospects, I told him I wasn't interested many times in the nicest way possible l, but boy did they look pi**ed."
"I got stuck in an airport overnight as my flight was cancelled due to weather and I was starving because all the stores were closed. Some employee offered to show me where to get food so I followed him."
"He then opened a door to outside in the parking lot and motioned outside. I quickly said 'no thanks' and walked away."
And finally, some talked about when it became very clear that their work situation needed to end, like yesterday.
Quotas Reign Supreme
"I got buried by heavy packages while loading a truck for Fedex. It took 3 people to get me out. I was bloody, bruised, and had trouble lifting my arm."
"My manager came over and chastised me for my package count being too low. Walked out immediately."
Leaving Him a Stressful Day
"I worked in a contact centre several years ago. It was super busy and calls didn't stop coming. For some reason, my stupid boss removed everyone else from the queue for some stupid training, leaving me alone to handle all the calls. I messaged him a few times on Microsoft Teams, asking what was happening with no reply."
"After two hours, I shut down my computer and walked out of the company. I just recently withdrawn my last salary, so no regret whatsoever."
Corruption At Its Finest
"I worked for a blood analysis lab machine company for about 6 months. Hated every minute of it because I was working well over 60 hours a week every week. I wouldn't be leaving some hospitals until after 11pm sometimes. The management would never support the techs, the customer is always right, that BS."
"So one week at during the over the phone team meeting, the manager actually asked on of the younger techs to complete paperwork and submit it. Which is normal, but the manager was having him submit the repair paperwork and schedule the repair when they got around to it. He wanted the tech to pencil whip documentation we submit to the FDA so he could a quarterly bonus."
"Managers who's group hits all the pm's, gets a very nice size check. Had the tech done that and the machine failed before it was serviced, somebody could have died and he might have gone to jail. I left that job the next day."
Out With a Bang
"I walked out of a job two hours into a shift and left them without anyone who could do my job."
"As a parting gift, I threw the manual I'd written in the rubbish and didn't bother removing or giving anyone my passwords to stuff so they couldn't do anything."
Years ago I had a classmate who was a total daredevil... so much so that he would often injure himself. He once drove a bike in the direction of oncoming traffic, just for the hell of it. He got out of that episode unscathed––luckily. By contrast, I prefer keeping all my limbs, and still have them all. I wonder where he is now. Hopefully not too banged up. I did do some stuff unwittingly––like the time I stuck a fork into an electrical socket. I thankfully wasn't shocked too much. I was young and naive.
People told us all about the dangerous things they did when they were younger after Redditor Not-an-Ocelot asked the online community,
"What's the most dangerous thing you did as a kid without realizing?"
"My chore was to wash the floors. I would mix all sorts of chemicals together, not realizing they don't mix. Like bleach and ammonia with other cleaning products."
This is very easy to do––and so dangerous! Thankfully you didn't harm yourself.
"I used to walk..."
"I used to walk on a frozen river when walking home from school. I was about 7 at the time."
Seen too many movies about people stuck under the ice.
"We would sneak up..."
"I used to do parkour. We would sneak up onto the rooftops of condo buildings when they were washing their windows (the staircases leading to the top floor would be unlocked). We would then go roof hopping.
Literal roof hopping like in Grand Theft Auto. We would jump from a 12 storey apartment building's roof to an adjacent 10 storey apartment building's roof, etc."
How are your knees? That's bound to do some damage, no?
"I picked up..."
"I picked up a baby copperhead snake and gave it to my mom as a present when I was 6 or 7."
You must have really hated your mom.
"There was a railway crossing..."
"There was a railway crossing on my walk to school, and the train would often be blocking my path so I would always wait until it stopped moving and then climb on top of it and jump off the other side so I could keep walking and not be late."
"Played inside an old broken refrigerator that was outside….not knowing it could have locked or tipped over."
Yes, it could have! Thankfully it didn't. There's a really frightening scene in The Leftovers involving a character who nearly suffocates in a fridge.
No thank you.
"Like most Florida kids..."
"Like most Florida kids I swam where I shouldn't have and I'm very lucky I didn't get eaten by alligators."
"After seeing videos..."
"Playing with fireworks. After seeing videos of kids blowing their fingers and hands off, I would never let my kids play with them, without lots of supervision."
"We are super lucky..."
"Getting on a boat with my then-boyfriend and not telling our parents where we were going. The boat ended up sinking during a storm and we had life jackets and floated on the ice chest. Only reason we are alive is because a ship that was coming in heard us screaming during the storm and called the coast guard. We were out there for a total of 15 hours and had severe hypothermia. We are super lucky to be alive."
This is pretty terrifying.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.
Yes, thankfully, you're alive.
"When I was about..."
"When I was about 9 or 10 a friend and I rode an air mattress down a river. Neither of us knew how to swim and we didn't tell our parents so when we came back cops were looking for us."
Well... these were a read.
If you'll excuse me, I'll stay indoors and wrap myself in bubble wrap. The outside world is scary.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I hate painting. I swear I'd rather eat uncooked liver or scrub a latrine with a toothbrush before I pick up a rolling pin and start painting walls.
I can never get it right, and the amount of coats you have to put on never seems to end. I cry when I have to do it.
And the stress of it all starts at the paint store. Those Home Depot people act like their artists and I'm an idiot. Ok, maybe they're right.
I can never figure out how to match the color or even get the perfect new color that's in my mind. So I doth my workman's cap to the HP counter crew.
Redditor u/PhantomHeroine wanted all the people with color mixing skills to share some interesting tales by asking:
Home Depot paint mixers of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing you've had to color match?
I've brought in previous paint chips to try and match. That is the extent of my ability in paint coordination... crusty, old, dirty chips. What else is there to bring to the paint counter? Let's find out...
Meow Mixcat turning GIFGiphy
"My manager color matched a cat once. Mostly people just try to have you match splinters or things that have multiple color tones into just a "general vibe."
In the Eyes
"I matched sharpies, microscopic flecks of paint people scraped off their walls, a woman's teal underwear, and more. Maybe the weirdest one was matching a guy's girlfriend's iris color. He wanted to paint something the color of her eyes, so he brought in a close-up photo of her. It was difficult because an iris isn't just one solid colour, but it was fun and he left happy with this kind of smoky blue."
"A guy came in once and wanted Asylum Yellow for his attic room. He said he saw it once and could we find it? Ended-up calling the 1-800 number and the woman said there was no color. After a while, she found it but it was Alyssum Yellow, named after a flower. He took a quart home, but I don't think he ever came back."
"My mom took a can of Campbell's soups to Home Depot to get a color match for the red part. She then painted the kitchen, which was full of Campbell's soup tchotchkes, Campbell's soup red." -
"Andy Warhol would be proud."
Sexy Colorsbabe dancing GIFGiphy
"I used to work at a sex shop. We took a dancer thong into a place to color match the shade of pink for paint for the inside of our store. They ended up naming the color Booty Pants."
If only I wore underwear, I never would've thought to use it though. And my dog and cat are all black, so that would've been simple, had I been painting a cave. But people certainly get creative. I mean, soup for walls? Hungry much?
"Somebody brought in a bar of soap for me to match. I think it was Irish spring."
"We did Coca Cola red, color matched a Coca Cola sign. (My husband only likes Coke, not Pepsi.) We didn't paint the walls red (walls are a soft yellow), but we painted the picture frames in the nearby room, and a clock frame, things like that. Stuff we can take off the walls if we decide to go a different route later, haha."
Never just one chip...
"Tostitos spinach dip. It was odd enough and with a good reward that I haven't forgotten it. A long time ago I worked for one of Home Depot's competitors and a someone came into ask if I'd be able to match the spinach dip that Tostitos was about to roll out. He wanted undercooked, perfectly cooked, and over cooked matched so that they could paint the inside of jars to show the manufacturing teams what each looked like as it all was made."
"The guy showed me a jar of the dip and we talked about how he'd have to remove all the spinach and red stuff (bell peppers, tomatoes?) chunks and have just the actual dip. He left but came in a few days later with just the dips smeared and dried on some little cards or something, then I spent a couple of hours working with him. To get the colors right. In the end he was happy."
"A day after that he came in just to bring me a couple of bags full of Lays (Tostitos parent company) and Tostitos with multiple jars of dips, including the not yet released spinach dip. He told me to share it all but I was in my mid 20s working full time and trying to finish my second college run at the time, so that free food was a godsend. I put those bags in my car instead of the break room and took it all home."
"Older lady comes in with a ziploc bag full of dirt. i figure she wants us to test it's pH or, something. Nope. She has a walkway, and when it rains some of the dirt from her flowerbed runs on to the walkway. she wants to paint the walk way the same color as the dirt so it isn't as noticeable."
"I try to talk her in to using landscape ties or something to prevent the dirt from getting on the the concrete in the first place. Nope, just wants to paint it. Ok. So i asked her if she wanted the paint to match the color of the dirt when it was wet or dry. Blew her mind."
Manual LaborNed Beatty Art GIFGiphy
"Oh, now that's long ago... I used to be very good at manually matching colors (no machines in those days). There was the standard bits of paper and cloth."
"One day someone walks in covered in dried paint, and asks me to match the color on their arm. Someone has spilled the paint all over him and they needed more, but had lost the color identification code somehow. He stood around patiently for an hour until I sorted out an exact match."
Look at that some people are nuttier than me. Retail careers are never easy. Whether you're selling food, cars or paint. The customer is always right and always crazy.
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