Anonymous IKEA Employees Share The Wildest Meltdowns They've Experienced

Anonymous IKEA Employees Share The Wildest Meltdowns They've Experienced
[rebelmouse-image 18345722 is_animated_gif=IKEA has been the world's largest furniture retailer since at least 2008. The company's name consists of the initials of Ingvar Kamprad (company founder), Elmtaryd (the farm where he grew up), and Agunnaryd (his hometown in Småland, southern Sweden).
IKEA owns and operates about 411 stores in 49 countries. That's a lot of shoppers.
Reddit user shroudedlynx asked "Employees of IKEA, what are some of the worst meltdowns you have seen?"
Here's the inside scoop.
Svart Fredag
[rebelmouse-image 18345723 is_animated_gif=Two words. Black Friday. It was 9:55, we open at 10. We were almost done, all that we had left to do was put out some children's kitchen set. What we didn't realize was that it was 50% off. I only had two pallets left to put out when the store opens and the horde came.
They were crazy. Sprinting, pushing and shoving. They fought to get to these kitchens and when they noticed my pallets, they tore them open and took it. Eventually one woman started screaming and attacked the guy who took the last one off of the pallet, not noticing the the two full pallets. I had to pull her off him and security came. After about 10 minutes the chaos ended, and I cleaned up.
At that point an elderly couple came and asked if there were any kitchens left and I put one in their cart as my coworkers laughed at what had just occurred.
Utanför Målet
[rebelmouse-image 18345724 is_animated_gif=I work at a massive IKEA store in Australia. For a lot of people it's their first time in IKEA, so by the time they get to my section they start to panic because they aren't used to the maze-like layout. There are a lot of breakdowns. Usually small children who want to go home (seriously theres so many parent wondering around with their 5 year olds at 9pm on a school night)
Anyway, the most memorable breakdown I dealt with was when I was working in Home Organisation. This man marched up to me, phone in hand and family in tow.
He wants to buy a certain clothes rack but he can't find it ANYWHERE in this STUPID STORE. Alright mate, I'm happy to help you out. (although I'm not liking the attitude) he shows me a picture on his phone. A screenshot from a website with no context. I haven't seen that clothes rack before. Either it's very new, very old, or not something that we stock.
I ask if he knows the name of it.
"no that's YOUR job."
He's getting even more worked up now. But I can't search with just an image. I check our store's website and I can't find the damn clothes rack anywhere. I ask if he was sure he looked at (store location) 's website specifically (not all IKEA's stock the same stuff. Shocking I know.) immediately I can tell he feels insulted. OF COURSE HE LOOKED AT THE RIGHT WEBSITE. I activate dumb salesgirl mode and ask him to show me.
He pulls up the website, and there is the clothes rack. Quite clearly on Target.com.au. He notices and storms off wordlessly.
I got immense pleasure watching him get lost and do a couple loops through the store before finding the exit.
Handla Buss
[rebelmouse-image 18345725 is_animated_gif=I used to work in IKEA in my student days, the Glasgow, Scotland store.
When it was newly opened an elderly Irish guy and his wife stopped me and asked where IKEA was, I explained that they were in IKEA and they couldn't understand. They had arrived at the ferry port in Ireland that morning and decided that they'd go on a day trip to somewhere they hadn't been before. When they arrived at the port in Scotland there was a dedicated 'IKEA' bus. They thought IKEA was an actual place in Scotland and didn't realize it was a shop.
Ko
[rebelmouse-image 18345726 is_animated_gif=I used to work at IKEA. It was 2 women fighting over my service. I was helping one customer and it was a super busy weekend, so I'm sure all the employees were pretty busy. As I was helping her, another woman came up and interrupted us. They started arguing and one of them called the other woman a cow.
Leveranskostnad
[rebelmouse-image 18345727 is_animated_gif=We needed a new mattress. My now wife insisted that we pay the $99 for delivery. I was adamant that I could get it home on the roof rack.
I strapped the mattress to the roof of the car, ratchet straps across all four corners. Motherf'er wasn't going anywhere.
We get in the car and opt to take surface streets home instead of taking the highway.
Everything's going great, but there is one stretch where the speed limit is 50mph.
We're driving along and a big truck flies by and immediately after it passes us, I see the mattress fly off the car in the rearview mirror.
"HOLY F'ING SHIT"
I'm backing up on the road and come to the mattress.
I did do a fantastic job strapping it to the roof rack. Problem is that the mattress took the roof rack with it. It's still tied to the mattress.
We hoist it back on the roof and take it slow to a gas station. Re strap the mattress (straps going through the car this time) and get it home.
There's a small cut on the underside of the mattress and some gravel in the protective plastic cover. Otherwise, no real harm done.
My wife still brings it up every time we go to IKEA.
"So... we're paying for delivery, right?"
Tjejer Och Killar
[rebelmouse-image 18345729 is_animated_gif=My now-husband and I were driving to Ikea (about 3 hours away), and this was at a point in dating when we were starting to get serious. On the trip, I found out his middle name was Riley, and I mentioned how it could make a very cute girl name. He was completely aghast and was very firm in stating that Riley is a BOY'S name, and had been handed down in his family for over 5 generations. I tried telling him that it was starting to change over to be a girls name now, much like "Ashley" or "Quinn". He thought I was crazy and was adamant that people do not name little girls Riley. We lightheartedly argued the point for a good 15 minutes.
We finally get to IKEA, park, and walk in the front door. Five feet in front of us a little girl of about 2 goes running by and her mother is chasing after her, saying "Riley! Get back here!!" My husband just looked at me defeated and said "...shut up".
(Our firstborn girl was named Riley. We carried on the family tradition, just in a slightly different way!)
Det Finns Ingen Vi
[rebelmouse-image 18345730 is_animated_gif=My boyfriend and I overheard while browsing in IKEA a couple having some sort of miscommunication in their "relationship".
I guess they were deciding on things to buy. The girl says "we should get that rug" to which the guy replies to her super loud "there is NO we, you don't live with me!"
Fåne
[rebelmouse-image 18345731 is_animated_gif=Seen a dude in the car park of the Newcastle IKEA cram a load of furniture into his Ford Focus, wife stood next to him SCREAMING at how much of an idiot he is for buying so much, how they aren't going to fit in the car now, and how he is putting all this furniture together alone because it's his "f'ing stupid s*** we don't need"
Husband replies, "no you won't fit in the car now" and drives off.
Gaffeltruck
[rebelmouse-image 18345732 is_animated_gif=A guy came in and wanted something that we only had "in the air" so it would require a forklift to get the product down, which we don't do with people in the store for fairly obvious safety reasons. I told him we could get it down right after the store closed for him but that was not an acceptable answer. He proceeded to lose his S#!+ on me demanding I bring out a forklift and take it down now. As this is happening, his wife and two small children walk up. I say, "well sir, just imagine that your children are in the aisle when the forklift comes out and an accident occurs, your children could be crushed by a falling pallet, the arms of the lift, or any other number of possibly fatal incidents." His response, "I don't give a s#!+ about that, I just want you to get my f'ing table." I didn't have to continue the conversation. His wife took care of it.
Kasta Kuddar
[rebelmouse-image 18345734 is_animated_gif=In soft furnishing/textiles, he was 'playfully' throwing pillows at her to get her attention. She turned around and said (scarily calmly) 'I know that you think you're being funny, but you're not. So if you're going to act like a child I will treat you like a child. Start behaving like an adult or we'll leave now and I'll take away your X-Box for a week.' He pouted and marched off, muttering under his breath.
Köp Din Egen Tårta
[rebelmouse-image 18345735 is_animated_gif=In IKEA making the most of my complimentary cups of tea. The couple at the next table over just had a brilliant argument about whether or not they could put a TV in their bathroom. He thinks it will fit, wife/girlfriend thinks it's the stupidest f'ing idea ever, they don't need it, it won't fit and if he wants to do that then he can move back in with his mother. And he keeps asking her to give him half of her Daim cake. After about five minutes of whining she told him if wanted some he should have bought one because apparently he always does this.
Toalettrum
[rebelmouse-image 18345736 is_animated_gif=I saw a mother let her child go to the bathroom in the display toilet in one of the display washrooms.
Fuskare
[rebelmouse-image 18345737 is_animated_gif=I was once shopping at Ikea and noticed a couple with the guy just having the complete look of apathy and distraction while being berated by his wife.
The volume was fairly low until they got to the bedroom department and she specifically said,
'I'm thinking of buying new sheets but I might as well not cause I don't wanna buy sheets just so you can f*** that HR b***** in them. I hope you realize I'm just staying with your cheating ass until the kids are grown up.'
I was so distraught I went for Köttbullar to calm myself.
Bortskämd
[rebelmouse-image 18345738 is_animated_gif=I'm a cashier!
There was a bratty teenager and her mom about to pay for their over $1000 transaction and the mom suddenly said "You know what? This girl here doesn't deserve any of this. Put it all back." I've never seen a teenager completely lose it until that shift. I feel bad for my co worker who had to do my go backs.
Billiga Matar
[rebelmouse-image 18345740 is_animated_gif=I work in IKEA food. I had one guy claim that he was a "big guy" and wanted me to put extra food on his plate after I made the plate. I explained that I can't as we have to stick to a portion size and that he could add a side plate for 1.99. He then yelled that we are all cheapskates, stormed off to his family, brought all the plates of food that we made for them and told us that he is going to bring his family somewhere good.
Plattor för Sniglar
[rebelmouse-image 18345741 is_animated_gif=I was on my third day working at IKEA, still wearing the "I'm new here" badge and this lady asks me where do we keep the plates for slugs (Escargot plates). It was my third day but I already knew we don't carry that and said I don't even think I saw one before in my life. She goes "If I was your boss I'd fire you on the spot!" and stomps away.
What did I do lady?
Vita Tallrikar
[rebelmouse-image 18345742 is_animated_gif=I was working in the kitchen accessories department and this middle aged guy asked me where the cheap white plates are. So these are the lowest price plates that come in one color and are sold straight off the pallet. But they changed the color from white to light beige a month ago.
I explain this and this guy starts raising his voice at me, telling me he owns a restaurant and that I go back there and bring him more white plates. At this point I know I'm not dealing with a rational person here, but I go to the computer and check if there isn't in fact a pallet of the stuff just so he sees I've tried helping him. Even shown him the big fat zero on the screen. He gets red in the face and starts telling me how I'm personally responsible for the gas he spent driving here on his Audi A8. Asked me if I know how much gas an Audi A8 burns. He's yelling now, the whole floor is looking our way and I'm doing my best to not laugh but I realized I'm already smiling and that pissed him off even more. The convo went something like this:
"You're gonna pay for the gas I spent driving here."
"I doubt that sir."
"LISTEN HERE KID! I'M GONNA DRIVE BACK HOME, LOAD UP ALL THE F***ING WHITE PLATES INTO MY CAR AND DUMP THEM ALL IN FRONT OF YOUR F***ING STORE AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY ME EVERY LAST CENT FOR THE DAMAGES"
"That's a good idea."
I wasn't even trying to be rude I just really wanted this guy to do this, but then he asked for my manager, yelled at him basically repeating everything including his Audi A8 gas mileage, everything. He ended up buying the light beige plates.
Posttraumatisk Stressyndrom
[rebelmouse-image 18345743 is_animated_gif=I was in the Vancouver IKEA, and they have a children's play area that was packed. There must have been 100 kids in there, some being watched from outside and some completely unattended.
Without warning, the power went out. There were emergency lights but the play area was still quite dark. The kids all started shrieking and crying and running around in the darkness.
The power probably only out for 2 minutes, but the chaos was spectacular. When the lights came back on, it looked like a battleground. Some kids were bruised and bloodied, some had the 1000-yard stare of a war veteran. There were a few who had bonded together in the tunnels and refused to leave. Some were missing entirely - they must have escaped in the shadows into the well-furnished maze that is IKEA.
Fängelsetabell
[rebelmouse-image 18345744 is_animated_gif=Overheard two young women trying to agree on a dining table. One of them said, "This table screams, 'I just got out of prison and I need a table.'"
Skräck av Engagemang
[rebelmouse-image 18345745 is_animated_gif=This was my Ikea family meltdown. My then boyfriend and I were getting our own place just after college. Until then, we had both been using twin beds thanks to student living spaces and sharing a single twin was proving uncomfortable for two adult humans subjected to California summer temperatures. To fix this issue, off to Ikea we went.
Things start off ok. We start with lunch, admire the living room couches, move into kitchen wares. All so far enjoyable fantasy. And then we reach our destination, bedrooms. A sea of beds in a variety of price points greet us with brightly colored duvets. An experienced furniture purchaser I start scanning the price tags to narrow the options. I bring him to an attractive affordable model I think matches some of our bookcases. And this is where the trouble starts.
See up until now, I didn't realize exactly how bad this man's fear of decision making was. He stares at the bed incomprehensibly for literal minutes, refusing to talk about it. Eventually it is discovered that buying a bed means committing to delaying graduate school, never moving to the east coast, and having children with me. I don't understand that logic and request explanation which is slowly and tearfully given.
We spent three hours in that Ikea and left with nothing. About a month later we went back and again after several hours bought that exact bed. He never went to grad school or moved to the east coast. We also did not have children and broke up a few years later. He took the bed.
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The most surefire way of hurting someone is not by physically attacking them but rather by using words.
Indeed, saying something to someone you know will deliberately hurt them will leave a far more lasting impact than any scar or wound.
Petty name-calling or completely false accusations are fairly easily brushed off.
Then there are the things people say to others which can simply never be forgotten, and no amount of forgiveness will ever make them forget.
Words that are so harmful, or information so traumatizing, that the only way to describe it is "f*cked up".
"What was the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
Love Is Stronger Than Blood
"I've shared this one before."
"I was adopted when I was three."
"My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a sh*tty person."
"When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to 'finally have his own and first son'."
"There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk."
"I love my brother to death and hold no ill will, but our father should have been better."- CT3993
Someone Will Always Remember
"My mom told me that she wishes I was never born."
"I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a 'surprise'."
"One day when my mom drank a little more than usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said 'I don't love you, f*ck I wish you were never born'."
"I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it."
"It scared me and I don't think I will forget it."- Commercial_Sea_8817
People Grieve In Their Own Time
"My husband died suddenly when I was 35."
"There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brother's arm around my shoulders while I cried."
"My friend said 'I love that picture of your brother supporting you'."
"I said 'Yeah'."
"That's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."- DevonHexe
All Children Want Is Their Parent's Support
"'I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister'."
"Honorable mentions: "
"'I hope you never make it into college'."
"'I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life'."
"Thanks dad."- lcssa
Apparently, So Could Her Husband...
"I had a very complicated pregnancy."
"I found out at 4 months (crazy, I know)."
"I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby."
"Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with 'Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother'."
"I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE."
"Husband lost it."- NickiP5150
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"To me and my wife."
"We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up."
"He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no."
"My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby."
"We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad."
"A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events."
"My mom looked straight at my wife and said 'all the problems in this family are because of you'.”
"My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that 'to-to-today' mock."
"Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house."- Myworkaccountbrah
So Good To Know They Had Their Support
"I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain."
"My ex screamed in my face to 'just die already'."
"But apparently I'm remembering it wrong and it wasn't that big of a deal."- moxley-me
No Need To Hold Her Feelings Back
"My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it."
"When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do."
"He whined and b*tched about everything he has to do the entire time."
"I told my stepdad's mother about him 'not being too excited' about it."
"Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday," She'd said.
"I'm seven. I don't know how sh*t works, so I ask, 'So I'll be working for Brad here someday?'"
"'No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children,' Was her answer."- wjescott
Children Can Be Cruelest Of All
"In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me."
"Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later?"
"Still me, but f*ck you Aubrey."- itsTonic_
Not Everyone is Meant To Be A Parent
"'My life would have been so much better if you had just died too'."
"My twin died at birth."
"It may be true, but no kid needs to hear that."- bonjelascott
"My dad's speech at my mom's funeral:"
” <mom> and <son> had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter'.“
"Not sure how that's relevant for the occasion but ok."
"Either that or the: 'Your mom wanted you, not me'.“
"Many years before that."- Remk0h
Placing Blame Will Never Change Anything
‘"It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother."
"He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him."
"I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday."
"That was our last contact."
"I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital."
"I still carry that guilt."
"Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh."- FrozenBluebell
Some Things Are Out Of Everyone's Control
"'It shouldn't have been your dad'."
"'It should've been you'."
"'It should've been you'."
"Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death."
"I think I looked too much like him for her."- berripluscream
Just Plain Cruel
"My ex-husband while we were still married:"
"'I don't find you sexually attractive anymore'."
"I was eight months pregnant with our second child."
"We were in the middle of making love."
'My ex-husband again: Fast forward a year."
"I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me,
"'Lose weight or I want a divorce'."
"I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day."- mom_with_an_attitude
They say actions speak louder than words.
But some words leave a much more lasting scar.
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments.
People are attracted to who they're attracted to.
We really can't control what revs our engines.
Everybody has a type of what they like in another person and what they don't.
Well, most people do.
There are a rare few who like anyone and anything.
One big attraction issue is height, particularly when it comes to dating apps where people can exclude certain heights.
Redditor xanzznax wanted to hear from all the guys who have been unceremoniously turned away because of height, so they asked:
"What is the best response to 'I don't date short guys?'"
I just like to be the shorter one. Sorry.
But... I'm the small spoon.
Nibbles
"Bite her knees."
sudomatrix
"Couldn't reach, went for the ankle instead."
Weaselot_III
No Hard Feelings
"When on Tinder I wrote my height because I know women have preferences (and some dudes will ridicule the tall woman, short man relationship)."
"When I matched with taller women who also wrote their heights, I would always ask if they where ready for this kind of long distance relationship. They always responded with a laugh, and if they didn't want to date, no hard feelings, they don't owe me anything."
Dudelison
LOL
"Adding in a non self-deprecating joke is helpful because it implies you know your height & that some women have preferences but you're still confident and you haven't made it your identity. It shows you have a sense of humor which is very attractive."
"Some shorter people have an insecurity complex and this is what gets in their way of dating compared to the actual height, and when they're like this they're typically unaware that it's their personality that's doing them in but blame it on the numbers."
Liberty53000
Is what it is...
"If a woman says I don’t date short guys it’s understandable, a man might feel a bit insecure. I’m not short but I’m skinny and I’ve had many women say things about my size and I’m still a bit insecure about it. I don’t let that insecurity become a problem anymore. I’m of the mindset that I can’t control how I feel, but I can control how I react to my feelings."
jwright24153
If we could all just "Poof" away in difficult situations.
Warning
""Hang a 'you must be this tall to ride' sign around her neck."
Umbrella_merc
Anyways
“Okay.'"
Prfsnlclckclackr
"Exactly, if that's their preference, move on."
"Ironically, I've never been 'rejected' in this way by a woman I asked out. Only women I haven't asked out. I have had women tell me they only date tall men or they couldn't date me because I'm short, but it was seemingly random. Like, I hadn't asked them out or shown interest. It's actually kind of hilarious."
StopThinkingJustPick
Cool Beans
"Short guy here, I'm 5'4, I used to get rejected by taller girls a lot, my favorite way to deal with it was just to say thanks for being honest. For some reason they would later introduce me to their friends who were maybe my height or something. A lot of them said that when you handle it like an adult its very attractive, and while they might not like short dudes, they def have a few friends who do."
buttdocs
Move On...
"Because disliking short guys, tall girls, skinny guys, fat girls etc... is at the end of the day a matter of personal preferences. No matter how much you cry, scream and sh*t yourself about how unfair it is, it won't make you attractive to that person. Just move on with your life and find someone who'll love you for who you are."
Makalockheart
Leave it...
"I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that HE kept BRINGING IT UPPPP!!!"
halej69848
Rock It!
"All you short guys out there, I always found it EXTREMELY attractive. There are plenty of women who do. So rock the shortness, someone out there is admiring the cut of your gib!"
Hobbsy1978
Be calm in who you are.
Do you have any similar experiences? We'd love to hear about them in the comments.
Everybody needs a job.
But some colleagues can be an issue.
And some careers and jobs bring about those that have work ethic issues.
So what do we do?
We make it work, of course.
We pray and hope everyone will do their best.
Redditor Glaurung1536 wanted to discuss the people we all work with, so they asked:
"Which profession attracts the worst kinds of people?"
Some jobs are the worst. So maybe it's not always the people.
Bad Influence
"Ok so not really a profession but… there is a certain subset of musicians who are also wannabe influencers… particular people who are very on twitter. so back-stabby and clout hungry."
curoku
The Worst
"I’m a casino dealer. People losing money brings out the worst qualities in them. Especially when I deal high limit games. Plus the pit boss/supervisors won’t throw a person out who is literally spending thousands. Doesn’t matter what they do or say. The casino doesn’t want to lose those kinds of patrons."
"They’re catered to. They can be so awful to the dealers. The job has made me look at humanity in a completely different light lol."
"Pro relationship tip: Bring a date to the casino and see how they treat the dealer if they’re losing. You’ll see what kind of person they really are. I have about 10 years of experience in the industry."
kaioina
Crazy Eyes
"Stockbrokers. I have some friends who are stockbrokers. I love them, but man, they are some bullsh*t artists. And not like, 'Oh, they're a good salesman, and could sell you anything,' No, it's like they make sh*t up as they go along and try to sound confident in what they say."
LawnGuyLand94
"I have met a couple people who were successful, lifelong stockbrokers. To be a successful, lifelong stockbroker, you actually have to like what you do. They all had crazy eyes. Each and every one."
RoofClinger
Drive On
"Tow truck drivers. At least 80% of all the tow truck drivers I've met have been felons, and about 98% have been shady d**kheads."
Blue8Delta
Tow truck drivers are definitely gruff.
Bounced
"Bouncers. I swear those people are always looking to create trouble so they can exercise their right to kick a**."
hatredwithpassion
"Former bouncer in my youth, and I can 100% confirm that most of the drama we were in was caused by the two biggest guys that just wanted to f**k with people and brag about it while we were having our after-shift drinks."
nifaryus
Lifeless Humans
"Paparazzi."
SuvenPan
"Absolutely lifeless humans. Audio-visual bottom feeders with a camera, searching for scraps and the next payment. Not only does their profession provide something that is arguably valueless, but the means to produce it is abominable. Predatory mannequins that need removal."
ByTheCreed
Sell. Sell. Sell.
"Pyramid scheme. Property agents."
polymathicus
"I have had a few friends that have become realtors later in life. The ones that stayed with it, it totally changed who they are. After a few years they are hardly recognizable as the same people. Vein, shallow, and 100% of the time they are in character and trying to sell."
StrayMoggie
Big Impacts
"I thought I wanted to be an architect… but then I met a bunch of architects. And architecture students. And architecture professors. And they were pretty much all A-holes. It was weird. I mean… how could it be so consistent? But there ya have it."
oferchrissake
"I used to teach in a program that often fed students into the world of architecture."
"Every semester I would orchestrate one charette where I would bring in architects to critique student work. No matter how much coaching I did (to both visiting architects and students) students would feel crushed by the feedback. There were almost always tears."
"I often hear back from students that it was the most impactful part of our work together."
Str8intothestorm
Hands Up
"Law enforcement - double-edged sword, because it attracts the best and the worst."
"The best in people who want to help, protect, and do good. The WORST in people who want to exact authority over people. Power-hungry a**holes who are insecure and have short fuses and low tolerance for defiance. If you can't handle someone defying you without losing your sh*t, you shouldn't be a cop."
bluepillblues69
So many jobs full of questionable people.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments.
We can't all know and be experts in everything, but there are some things that are vital for us to know, like the basics of keeping a clean home and cooking simple, healthy meals.
But a lot of us were raised in households that taught us a lot of those vital basics, leaving us to have to figure them out on our own.
Redditor Wehause asked:
"People who love to cook, what tips and tricks do you have for beginners?"
Key Rules in the Kitchen
"Prepare everything before you start cooking. Cooking can be so stressful if you ignore this step."
"Clean as you cook. Waiting 20 minutes for that soup to simmer? Take that moment to clean."
"You don't always have to every the recipe down to a tee. Sometimes improvisations can work just fine."
"Food tastes a bit bland? Add more salt. Does the food taste like it just needs something? Add an acid (vinegar, lemon juice, tomatoes, etc)."
"Taste. Your. Food. Don't be like me, the id**t who used precise measuring spoons for his first two years in the kitchen. Add a little bit of salt/spice. Taste it. If it's a bit under-seasoned, add some more. Doing this is how you build up intuition in the kitchen, and it's how you learn how to season things intuitively."
- Distinct_Water_5075
Clean as You Cook
"To kinda go along with the 'Clean as you cook', keep your work area clean, too."
"Set aside something that is your designated trash collector on your counter, so as you're chopping or whatever, all the onion papers, garlic skins, and carrot ends have a place to go."
"I like using paper plates or the meat tray so once I'm done, I can just pick up the whole thing and throw it all away at once."
- iluvhalo
Prep Ahead of Time
"Prepare everything before you start cooking. Cooking can be so stressful if you ignore this step."
"AKA 'Mise en place,' or for us casuals, 'get your s**t together.' Truly makes everything go much smoother."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is continually horrified at using 'so many bowls and cups.' Dang lady, I’m running the dishwasher anyway, so why does it matter? Even if hand washing a prep bowl is like a ten-second cleanup."
- AtlEngr
Go with Medium Heat
"The only time I ever go higher than exact medium heat (aside from boiling something) is to do a quick sear. Always medium or lower."
- ConsiderationWise205
Seriously, Medium Heat!
"I can’t even say this loud enough or repeat it enough. Medium heat!"
"In college I had a friend ask how I made grilled cheese both melty and without burning. He was just putting it on high and sticking the sandwich on the pan."
- luvitis
Intuitive Spicing
"Taste everything as you cook and do it often. All cooks should be doing that but if you are a new cook it's even more important. Not tasting as you cook is like covering your eyes as you paint or plugging your ears as you play music."
- bajesus
Learn from the Recipe
"What you want to do is cook a recipe as is exactly the first time you make it. Otherwise, you really can't properly evaluate it. Halving the sugar since you want less can drastically impact the target flavor. So make it according to the directions once and then rate it."
"You'll end up with a library of actual good recipes (seems rare in this click-views blogging age, unfortunately). Then you can adjust the next time you remake it if you think it should be altered. Or since you now know what it should taste like, measure by feel until you perfect making it again and again without measuring."
"Now you're a chef and creative modifications will soon follow. But doing it properly first will teach you more than just winging everything."
- 7ht4tguy
Take a Note from 'Pirates of the Caribbean'
"If you're cooking recipes are more like guidelines than rules. If you're baking, a recipe is a doctrine."
- NGC_1277
Know the Basics and Go Wild
"If you understand the basics of baking, you can go wild. But it's the 'understand the basics' part that stumps people."
"People hear that baking soda can't be substituted for baking powder (which is true) and then they're terrified to alter a baking recipe."
"There's a book called 'Cooking for Geeks' that's a good read. It gets into the chemistry of acid-base rises, the Maillard reaction, and other underlying principles."
"The trick is to understand what's going on, to learn the savvy to grab vinegar so beaten eggs hold their shape when you don't have the cream of tartar."
- doublestitch
That Steak, Tho.
"Clean up as you cook. If you’re not using a utensil or strainer or whatever you use anymore, clean it while you wait. I’ve kind of made it a game to see how efficient I can be while cooking. It’s kind of fun."
"If you want to make a steak delicious baste it in minced garlic and butter. Then after you’re done basting it, drop your veggies or whatever side in the pan, and shake it around. I’ll do this if I’m trying to wow someone with a good meal. Not the healthiest but is the tastiest."
- Ac997
Start Simple and Grow
"Choose simple recipes, follow each step, and consider why they might be important."
"Give it time, don’t try to rush things through, most food takes time to let the flavors combine."
"Look at cooking videos or read cookbooks, even if you have no intention of making that specific recipe it might give useful information you could have used in other recipes."
"I can recommend looking into authentic Italian cuisine, often simple recipes with few ingredients but the techniques to each step can be crucial to the finished product."
- Daddebuff
Know the Textures
"Not something that will apply to everyone's style of learning, but when I was learning to bake and cook I did a lot of things by hand the first few times and then used a mixer or other tools later. For me, it helped to understand the different possible feelings and textures."
"I knew what to look for when I introduced more appliances and tools because I knew how it felt and how it needed to look from doing it more slowly first (dough is the best example, but there were many other things too)."
- goanaog
Be Careful with the Cookware
"I learned that lesson in my early 20s. You don't have to spend 100s of dollars on good cookware but 50 to 90 dollar set works well."
- geri73
A Hot Pan is Your Friend
"Make sure you let the pan heat up before putting food in it."
- JustDave62
A Necessary Companion
"Get a knife sharpener. I paid like $12 for mine, on clearance, and the difference after sharpening is night and day."
- 314159265358979326
None of these tips are particularly complicated or groundbreaking on their own for someone who frequents the kitchen, but each of these will make a new cook's experience that much sweeter and more savory.
Did we miss any pearls of wisdom? Let us know in the comments below.