Sexual fantasies are hot because we don't have a prior memory of experiencing them to compare them with.
Redditor OperaGhostAD asked:
"What’s a sexual experience you thought you wanted but realized during or after that you really didn’t?"
These erotic activities didn't pan out as expected.
Unsolicited Cosplay
"I was seeing this girl for a short amount of time I am talking 3 dates. She asked me to come hangout at her place. We were in her room and start making out and then she got my clothes off and said she would be right back. I figured okay she might have to pee no big deal. She comes back in a panda onesie."
"She is giggling then climbs on top of me. She just keep giggling needless to say I was not really turned on and then she undoes a front flap and climbs on top. I am guy and I finish but I felt very awkward about the whole situation that I didn't want to continue with the relationship."
"I think I would have felt better if we had discussed that first but to spring it on me was weird."
"Yes, I had thought dressing up in costumes might be fun in my head but to see it in real life just didn't do it for me."
– Kthak_Back
Poor Gag Relfex
"Honestly… getting a blowjob from a specific ex"
"She always claimed her gag reflex was insane poor. Like unable to eat certain foods impossible to do."
"I didn’t believe her, and she challenged me, I had to clean the sheets but I’ll get a BJ, obviously I agree"
"Not even 5 seconds, she projectile vomits all over me and my dick, promptly with an 'I told you so' lol"
"We both laugh, and I never asked a BJ from her again"
– Philaharmic
Amateur Pornography
"Filming it. Those actors in the movies deserve some respect. We looked like two sea lions jumping on top of each other."
– Imarayofsunshinethx
Hitting Balls-Eye
"That thing where you hang backwards off of the bed and give head. Sounded super hot to me, so we decided to give it a go."
"About three seconds in I realized my mistake and that there was absolutely nothing sexy about his balls smacking me in the eyes."
– Pollowollo
Questionable Scenario
"Decided to try the whole... 'consensual non-consent' thing with an ex girlfriend of mine."
"Didn't really work. She just kept kicking and pushing me away and I found it extremely difficult to even get to her and keep her still, so eventually we just decided 'yeah... this isn't working' and did the deed normally haha."
– flameylamey
When it comes to sex, there can be a fine line between pleasure and pain. For these Redditors, it was the latter.
Ouch!
"Hot wax. I thought I could take the pain cause I like other kind of stuff."
"However it burned like a bitch, and ended up spilling all over my bed."
"0/10"
– Sanchezzy123
Size Matters
"I saw a gif of a girl f'king a bed post. I have bed posts. Tried, failed, scarred for life. Bed posts are way bigger than they seem."
– ciupiciu
Scratch That Itch
"I asked my ex to scratch my back once. She clawed the sh*t out of me and I was like, 'Actually, never do that again.'”
–EnshaednCosplay
Trying Out Bondage
"This woman wanted to restrain me. I thought why not, could be hot, she seems to know what she’s doing. As soon as the handcuffs went on I flipped the f'k out like a wild animal. It all surprised me. I was on a wooden chair and it got all smashed up. She unlocked me and it was instant relief. Now I know."
– TeamTigerFreedom
Olfactory Assault
"Eating a girl out from behind. She had an amazing body (still does) and it was awesome. Then without saying anything, she starts pushing my face away. I am very paranoid/worried about doing anything to make my partner uncomfortable, so I just pulled a few inches away from her butt and started to ask 'Are you ok?'"
"But then she let out a huge fart right as I was inhaling to speak. My nasal passages were open and this fart was forceful enough that I felt the hot, heavy gas hit the back of my throat and sink down. Then a few microseconds later, the smell hit me; full-on sh*t grade, permeating my sinuses. I starting choking and gagging and dry heaved a bunch."
"My girlfriend was so horrified she started crying. This was like 2 months into our relationship so she thought I was going to leave her, but as soon as the nausea wore off, I just started laughing because the situation was so funny. We bring it up all the time now and still laugh."
– RightToConversation
A couple and a plus one isn't an ideal scenario for everyone.
Three's A Crowd
"Threesome in college. Everyone said: 'We won’t get weird about it.'”
"THEY GOT WEIRD."
– FlamingTrollz
Chivalry Is Not Dead
"Almost w two dudes on a wild spring break trip in Florida. It was hot up until they got their condoms on and reality of what was happening hit. And then I freaked out a bit because I realized I didn’t want to go further. But I don’t think I even said stop, I think I just kind of froze and looked freaked out."
"I’ll never forget the gentle reassurance of the one young man. He quickly stopped, told the other dude 'hey man it’s off' and I wasn’t shamed or made to feel stupid or anything. We actually kept partying and partied the rest of the week together and had a great time."
"That guy was a stand up young man. Peak era of bro culture way before me too movement and he had full awareness of consent. 20 years later and I remember him!"
– merrythoughts
The Horrific Violation
"I worked with a girl and her husband would come in all the time. We worked at a restaurant so we were always drinking after. He told me he wanted me to f'k his wife while he watched. I thought it was a joke. He brought his wife over and she confirmed it. He was asking her to pick someone for a while, she picked me so I said sure. A couple weeks pass and they invite me over. They made dinner, fed me and gave me drinks. We go over any boundaries. Basically don't cum in her or on her. Ok whatever."
"I'm having sex with her and everything is good. It's weird because he's just sitting there jerking off and talking to himself about how he deserves this and it hurts to see his wife with another man. Every so often he'd tell us to switch positions and he'd go back to wallowing to himself. He'd say he can't watch, but he would watch. Anyway, I was going to cum so I pulled out and stopped and she grabbed me and finished me with her hand. I ended up cumming on her stomach a bit and the dude lost it. He ran over so fast and punched me so f'kin hard I collapsed. I was in a daze."
"I was already in cum euphoria and then almost knocked unconscious within 10 seconds. She starts screaming at him, he tries to drag me out of the room but I managed to get composed and handle myself. I'm f'kin naked with cum dripping out of me, lump on my head, ready to scrap. He starts yelling 'I said no cum!' She says it was her fault. He tells me to leave, so I get dressed real quick and head out."
"She calls me an hour later and apologizes. Says it won't be like that next time. Lmao next time? Nah. Guy has a nasty overhand right and was trying to drag my cummy, naked a** by the ankles like he was going to bury me. No next time. No more couples."
– Hocktober
Erotic engagement in public can be a huge adrenaline rush. Until it isn't.
What's The Buzz, Tell Me Where It's Happening
"Going out in public with one of those remote controled vibrators. The vibrating part kept shifting from where it should be while I was walking and I was SO paranoid about it slipping out and falling out my pants leg for me to enjoy how it felt."
– soup54461
Sex On The Wall
"Had sex on the Great Wall of China, at night under the stars. Was pretty romantic until we finished and realized there were workers cleaning the wall less than 20 ft from us who definitely saw and heard us and were politely waiting for us to finish so they could do their jobs."
– working_joe
Consequences Of The Mile-High Club
"Sex on a plane - Air NZ in the middle of the night. Both snuck to the washroom. Apparently the 'clapping noise' was very audible and not as quiet at we both thought. $1500 fine each and a one year ban from Air NZ."
"Edit: We we’re coming back from a month of backpacking and landed in Vancouver (on route to Manitoba) . The police didn’t seem to care at all but the TSA person seemed to take it personally so I believe that’s what the fine was so large."
– Greenleeman
These people came but didn't conquer, so to speak.
Oh well. You've got to give them points for at least trying to live out their sexual curiosities.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.