Red Flags Women Cannot Ignore In Men
Looking for love is not easy.
In fact, with each passing day, it seems more and more impossible.
That's when people start to get lazy.
They start to consider just anybody.
Don't drop your guard.
If he seems like a roach.
He's a roach.
And not a hot Jeff Goldblum from "The Fly."
Signs, red flags, gut instincts... they are gifts when it comes to sizing up men.
Don't ignore the signs ladies!
Redditor teckk2003 wanted to discuss the things that women really need to pay attention to when deciding about a guy.
So they asked:
"Ladies on reddit what are red flags you can't ignore in Men?"
I always get weary around someone who can't not talk about themselves. Big flag.
I'm BetterChelsea Peretti Eye Roll GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"When they have to always, always, always one up you."
"Ah I see you’ve met my father."
"Guys that constantly speak over people in conversation. They tend to not be very caring or respectful of others."
"That's my husband (soon to be ex... again). My friend was over the other day to talk about her breakup with her ex girlfriend, and he kept interrupting her, talking over her, trying to give her advice etc. She was clearly frustrated so I walked her back to her house to actually talk about it."
"When I worked at KFC, there was a girl whose boyfriend would stay parked outside the door the during her entire shift. That is not something I've seen commonly and it's a HUGE red flag."
"That happened with a girl I worked with as well. She worked 12 hour shifts and he would sit outside looking in at her for the 12 hours. Then sometimes he'd come in like a sad puppy talking to her. Genuinely pathetic and psycho."
Just Say It...
"Always making excuses rather than just saying ‘I f**ked up. What can I do to rectify this situation? What do you need right now.'"
"I made the mistake of not running the first time my ex wouldn’t apologize for something major. Now I’m in trauma from not only his affair but his inability to just own his sh*t and apologise. I will never let this one slide ever again should I choose to date again."
ListenWill Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
"Ignorant arrogance - doesn’t seem capable of changing his mind or seeing other perspectives."
Ignorance is not only a red flag, it's horrifying life trait.
Crazy!Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"When every single ex they have was 'crazy.' Err."
"I tried to explain to a friend once that maybe all of his ex’s weren’t crazy and he ended up getting blackout drunk and tried to fight me."
“she’s gone again"
"Unhealthy dependency on my replies. Before I met my current SO, I was chatting to a guy who needed replies within minutes. If I didn’t reply in 30 minutes he’d start saying things like 'she’s gone again.' Or 'and I’ve lost her interest again.' It became like a chore to respond. When I said I didn’t feel comfortable continuing the conversation he started talking about 'How women never gave him a chance, and he is a good man.'"
"It might not seem to him he had ill intent but it came across as controlling and pressuring. I had to block him eventually as he kept on messaging even though I had requested to stop the communication. Later he started sending paid likes on a dating platform to get my attention."
"When they cannot discuss sexual health like an adult. If you're having sex you need to discuss birth control, condoms, and STDs."
"Recently had std talk with 48M, he tells me he’s never been tested for anything. Says he’s just choosy about who he sleeps with so he knows he’s never had anything because he would be able to tell if his partners had an STD. This from a sexually active man that doesn’t use condoms often. I was stunned that anyone could still be this ignorant."
He was 26...
"Easily lost patience and out of control temper over minor things. I dated a guy once who had an argument over the phone with a family member, after he got off the phone he picked up a picture frame that was nearby and just smashed it onto the ground, sending glass everywhere."
"The argument was something to do with a book. We had been dating for maybe 2 months. He was 26. MASSIVE red flag that one is was."
HopelessBenedict Cumberbatch Drinking GIFGiphy
"Weaponized incompetence. Making no attempt at doing something effectively in the hopes that they won't be asked to do it again. If you can't put in the effort, then neither can I."
I hope everyone is listening.
Do you have any major red flags to throw down on the dating field? Let us know in the comments below.
Much as we might try to deny it, who hasn't found themselves dealing with one of "those colleagues" at work?
The sort of colleague where work gets done in spite of them, who doesn't seem to possess any of the basic qualifications their position requires, who uses up all their paid sick days at the very beginning of the calendar year.
The kind of employee where we're often left wondering, "how did they get that job?"
Then, when we actually do a little digging, we might learn the answer to that very question.
Often resulting in our making a surprising, if not downright humbling, discovery.
"Why hasn’t that “one guy” at your job been fired yet?"
"He ended up leaving work the day management was going to talk to him about his behavior and got into a severe motorcycle accident."- eatsbrainz
Just Not Possible
"Cuz he’s the boss."- Hotline-Furi
A Little Manipulation Goes A Long Way
"Because his supervisor is in love with him."
"He’s 'charming, charismatic, and everyone loves him'."
"He’s really close to the manager and his mom used to work for the company as well."
"She left a path for him to walk on."
"As my co worker once said, 'he harasses us but gets rewards'.”Happy Penn Badgley GIF by LifetimeGiphy
"If you were ever to meet him, he makes you feel like you’re the king of the world but he’s really scummy."
"He’ll make you believe you’re incredible and valuable but will talk sh*t about you to other people."
"It’s a shame because he’s taken advantage of a lot people and a lot of things at work."
"I thought he was the coolest guy around until I started observe him and his demeanor around others."- Low_Excitement_5339·
A Sign Of The Times
"We are so short-staffed and ratios need to be met in classrooms."
"A body is better than no body, in the eyes of admin at least."
"Some days I'd rather work short-handed than work around a useless/annoying person."
"I end up doing their job anyway."- quietly_anxious
Just The Way Things Are...
'Office politics."- defensiveminded2020Bored Season 3 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
...Rather Not Answer...
"What if that one guy is you?"- dizzyrazor
"Because he goes to my boss's church."
"My boss has somehow hired at least 8 people from his church."- SparklesLuvsScotch
"She’s the boss's daughter."
"In the past 6 months, they have hired over 100 people, 3 of them are still working there."
"Every one of them quit because of her and very outwardly expressed that but no one will fire her."- RedditVeronica Lodge Daddy GIF by Camila MendesGiphy
Do We Really Want Them To Get Fired?
"The one guy at my job just got fired 3 days ago, after years of doing nothing."
"Now I can't use his continued employment as my assurance of job security."- i_make_potholes
"I legitimately don't know."
"I've been sending my bosses emails about her dropping the ball on many things and even causing several catastrophic failures for our customers."
"They promise me they are documenting everything and to be patient but my boss has his head in the sand and is not really doing anything."
"I think it's catching up to him though because corporate is starting to look at this office more closely."- CamStorm
"IDK, he sits and f*cking texts WHEN PEOPLE ARE IN LINE FOR THE REGISTER."
"Pisses me off."- Public_Living_3344Bored Grocery Store GIF by TravisGiphy
Charisma Overshadows Many Flaws
"He’s 'nice' and chatty and gets along really well with our customers."
"He will go into an office, not do anything or make something worse than it was before the repair, bill them hundreds of dollars, someone else will have to go in and fix it right and bill them more, and they’ll still request him."
"They’re actually more likely to complain about the guy who went in and fixed it correctly and would have billed them half as much and been done in trip had they started the job."- makenzie71
Fear Of Feelings Getting Hurt
"Because his boss avoids conflict."
"So we get to deal with the sh*t for brains creeper instead of him being thrown out on his a**."- No-Patient1365
Hopefully, Just A Matter Of Time...
"You don’t get fired for being bad at your job, you get fired for making a scene."- sleekandspicyFed Up Reaction GIFGiphy
Everyone deserves a second chance.
But if people are incapable, or worse unwilling, to learn, is there really any chance their work will improve?
When "that employee" is your boss, then the question is ultimately irrelevant.
Audiences today are too savvy and unforgiving.
There are so many cinematic aspects that leave so many of us irritated.
And one of the big reasons is that they know they can make them better.
Give me a quick million, you won't be disappointed.
Redditor Ecstatictobehere wanted everyone to vent about everything wrong with movies and Hollywood, so they asked:
"What pisses you off about new movies these days?"
I'm exhausted with the lack of originality.
There are too many talented out there for this.
Turn it down...Race Fans GIF by Formula 1Giphy
"The disparity in volume, explosions are so loud that they hurt and conversations are whispers... I stopped going to the cinema and started waiting for them to be available at any streaming service so I can turn it down or up and so I can enjoy it."
"I have a bone to pick with comedy in general. I felt that ever since the Anchorman era, we just decided that comedy movies were in the line of sketch comedy."
"Create funny situation, let a comedian riff for 20 minutes, take the best take and move on to next funny situation. Which is why comedy movie plots have SUCKED since the early 2000s."
"Sure I love Kristen Whiig, Will Ferral, John C Reilly, Mellissa McCarthy, etc, but damn, I can't help but think that some comedies that have come out int the last 20 years would be memorable if they wrote a funny script instead of making a 120 min sketch show."
"Most movies are getting watered down for the sake of mass appeal. I get why, but it just sucks."
"Some say this is a result of streaming platforms. People used to be able to take risks on movie making because if they didn't do well in theatrical release, there was still a chance for it to become a cult classic and make money with DVD sales down the road. That is no longer an option because everything is streamed for free so now making a movie that doesn't immediately appeal to a large audience is a bad investment."
Lost in Translation
"Not just movies but TV shows - they take a book that's got great reviews, make a poor job of translating it on screen and then flip the ending so it's the opposite of what happened in the book. Proceeds to blame the audience when they pan it for being crap."
BlahBored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Lack of originality and a reliance on franchises."
Enough with franchises and reboots. Lord.
Some light please!jerry cant see GIF by HULUGiphy
"How dark they are. Like literally dark. It's difficult to see what's going on, especially for those of us with vision problems."
Break it Down
"For horror and mystery, everything having to be explained."
"A movie like the original Alien would be lambasted by online critics if it were released today, for the simple reason that by the end of it you know next to nothing about what happened. What was the creature? What was the derelict? Why did the company want it, really? The movie has stood the test of time precisely because it avoided answering those and other questions."
Too Much Redo
"The overuse of cover songs. Recently been a lot of classic rock songs covered by an artist who recorded a slowed version of it. Just saw the trailer for the new Ant Man. It also does this."
"This has been bugging me lately. They do it in commercials too. The cover is slowed way down with a melancholic, reverb-heavy voice. Extra points if you take a classic 'happy' song and add minor chords to it so it sounds threatening."
Too Many Cooks
"A lot of movies feel like they were written by a marketing department. It feels like they got 10 execs in a room and everyone wrote down ideas, characters, plot-points, etc that they know will sell - and then tried to organize them into a narrative structure."
"There's no vision. There's no plot progression. Its just one random event next to another random event, and characters delivering sh*tty one-liners. Like writing madlibs. Even B-movies from the 80's and 90's have better narrative structure and story-telling than half the new movies out today."
GiveawaysCybill Shepherd Applause GIF by SHE'S FUNNY THAT WAYGiphy
"Trailers. They're always about 4 minutes long, give away the entire plot, show all the best scenes and jokes and basically ruin the movie before you've even watched it."
Do better filmmakers.
We're watching. Sadly...
There are two groups of people in this world.
Those who believe in monogamy and those who don't.
People cheat. It's just the way some humans work.
If you're an avid soap opera fan, as I am, then you'll understand that infidelity is part of the package.
Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:
"Why did you cheat on your partner?"
I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.
Bad IdeasTom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy
"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"
"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"
"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."
"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."
"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"
"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."
"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."
"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."
"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."
"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"
"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."
"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."
"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."
The Worstmaury GIFGiphy
"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."
Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.
A MessSteve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy
"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."
In the Dark Place
"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."
"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."
"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."
That's messed up...
"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."
"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."
WorthlessWill Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."
"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."
Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Relationships, whether that means dating or being in some form of a long-term relationship, are hard, and that definitely includes sexual intimacy. Whether it's trying to keep things interesting or staying connected after a long time of being together, many people struggle to stay intimate with their partner.
But some may be surprised at just how long some people go without having sex.
Redditor ItsRainingAlberts asked:
"What is the longest you've gone without sex, and why did you go so long?"
"A year. I was shattered from a break-up (two years ago)."
"Now I'm enjoying the dating scene."
"A little over two years. I had no partner and wasn't really interested in finding one at that moment, and casual sex did nothing at all for me anymore. I didn't care about sex much at all during that period of my life."
A Dissolved Marriage
"Over three years. My wife wouldn’t touch me and I remained faithful."
"Now divorced at 40, it’s kind of hard to meet people, so the counter continues to go up."
"I'm doing mostly better since the breakup. I'm still struggling with seeing my daughter less and balancing work life and meager attempts of putting myself out there to meet new people."
"Seven or eight years. Three or four years because my husband wasn't able to anymore, and almost five years since he died."
"I have no interest at all in looking for another life partner but I had tons of sex in my 20s so I'm all good now."
"About a year now since my ex broke up with me. I haven't gotten anything since and probably won't for a while as I'm not very good at socializing, especially with people I'm interested in."
"Since I had sex for the first time at age 16, the longest I have gone without was four years, from 2017 to 2021."
"Why? Because I'm now a single male in my late 40s. I have never had the desire to get married, and I don't do well in relationships."
"Most women in my age group are now married, and the ones who aren't are not interested in FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationships or one-night stands."
"I'm lucky to have found a woman who's interested in FWB, who's 27, and who has an obsession with older men, but women like her don't grow on trees."
"Since my last relationship, all of my sexual encounters have been spontaneous, casual, and overall kind of meh."
"I will never have children or date someone with children and in your 30s that eliminates everyone. I'm at 2 years myself and while it sometimes gets lonely I've learned to like having 100% of my time belong to me."
"Two and a half years... still going strong. I don't want to get with someone again for now due to past experiences."
"I've had my fair share of relationships, and the sex (most of the time) wasn't bad but very good, the relationship though wasn't good a lot of the time, and in a relationship, I look for more than just sex, and I don't look for sex without a relationship."
"So for now, I'm good, and if I never have it again, I won't really cry about it."
The Importance of Intimacy
"A... while. Having sex is an incredibly intimate experience, and it can be hard to recover from bad experiences."
"I feel like a relationship is more than just the physical, the emotional bond and love, and support is what holds a relationship together. If you can't find that mutual love and respect, it doesn't matter how great the sex is."
An Evolving Relationship
"The last four years. Ever since my twins were born, my wife has had zero sex drive."
"We do the deed once, maybe twice, a year. I wish things were different, but I love her and if that’s all I get, then I’m willing to accept that."
The Way It Used to Be
"My husband has the same issue but shows me affection in other ways so I don't want to leave. Just wish that part was still there."
Low Point in Life
"I'm going on almost eight years now. I had a major life event where I lost everything, and the subsequent depression killed any desire to be with another human."
"I don’t even like to be touched now. I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted. I’m not ugly, but I have let myself go to a point where my physical looks match what I think I mentally look like."
"I haven’t had sex in close to five years now, by choice. My antidepressants killed my sex drive so now I have zero interest."
"14 years and counting. I went through some pretty awful medical s**t that year, and one of the side effects is no more sex. This has been, as they said in ancient Babylonia, 'a real bummer.'"
While the reasons for not experiencing sexual intimacy are all across the board, people who are currently missing the experience can at least take some comfort in how common of an issue this seems to be.
Do you have any similar experiences or anything to share? Let us know in the comments below.