Bodies are beautiful. Everyone's body is a treasure. There is no reason to feel shame. Sure most of us have pounds to lose and other's have the illusion of perfection but every body has value. We are connected to our bodies for life so we might as well find peace with what we've got. Take a chapter from those who work with naked bodies on the regular. It's just another day at the office for them.
Redditor u/merzickel wanted to know how everyone makes it work when you're surrounded by all nudes by asking.... Doctors, massage therapists, and other people who see naked bodies at work: what are most people insecure about when it comes to their bodies that's actually super common and normal?
The Grapefruit.
The only naked person I actually remember was this dude who called due to a hernia. He told us what was going on and we were like okay we trust you get on the stretcher. He said "hell naw y'all need to see this" and stood up and dropped his pants. His scrotum was the size of a grapefruit and his penis slapped his knees.
We told him to put his pants back on so we could get him to the hospital and get him some damn pain meds. Other than that all naked people look the same to me and I really really don't give a crap what you look like cause that's not my concern. Doing that ekg or finding injuries or things like that is my main concern. jesus-christ-of-ems
Pierced.
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Body Piercer here. On average, I pierce a lot of nipples. 90% of women are most uncomfortable showing their stomachs in the case of extra pounds or stretch marks. I explain that I'm not there to see the sights or to judge (I'm a fatty) but to ensure they have a good experience. TheRevSev
Shave Away...
Wife is massage therapist; some women seem to care about if they've shaved their legs or not, which is funny since I massage men's legs that are covered in way more and thicker hair than they will have. That and people are always confused on if they have to remove their underwear or not.
As a therapist it doesn't matter to me, we learn how to work around it and still help you, we just want to make sure that you the client is as comfortable as you can be. Oh, and snoring. People will apologize for snoring a lot but we don't care, honestly. SuicidlMcRib
Don't Apologize.
Women often apologize for having pubic hair which I find kinda sad. Ivehitanewlow
I was in the ER the other day and had to get an ECG. I was so upset because I hadn't shaved in forever. I was covering my armpits as the nurse was putting the "stickers" on. And then she moved to the legs and I couldn't cover them.
She could see I was feeling embarrassed and she looked at me and goes "it's an ER hun, no one comes prepared!"
Made me feel a little better. In retrospect, it was emergency, why did I care?! How bad did society mess me up that when I get injured and need help, I'm worried about my hair?! Real_Space_Captain
the public....
Anything related to the pubic region.
For women, breast exams are common in a primary care setting, and most female patients are pretty chill with it, especially a male physician. Big_Balmer_Brand
Flab.
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Flab right under your armpits on your sides. I'm a bra fitter, and women constantly complain about and apologize for their back fat and fat on their sides right under their armpits. It's really not a big deal. Everyone has it, even that teeny tiny girl that looks like a stick. EleanorRigby96
Noises Off.
Massage therapist here - during abdominal massage, noises happen. Totally normal. We're getting things moving. No need to apologize for being human! courtdork13
I try to warn mine so she doesn't get it in the face. Maggiemayday
The Back Way.
X-Ray tech here, men with hairy backs. I'm looking to make sure your chest is against the plate. Don't care how hairy it is, although one guy did look like he had a fur coat on. psu777
Or woman apologizing for not getting a pedicure while their foot/ankle has been in a cam walker or cast the past 6 weeks. I don't care. I'm there to help you, not judge you. Xray_Abby
Y'all are good.....
Massage therapist here. Most women who are on my table are embarrassed about their leg stubble. Let me reassure you that we don't care if you haven't shaved your legs this week. Forget it, I haven't shaved mine in 12 months. Y'all are good. annacondah
Wash your feet....
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I'm a Podiatrist (foot doctor) and people are always apologizing about their leg hair and their feet in general. Like I've had patients not want to take off their socks and shoes but still want me to help diagnose their foot problems. 90% of the time they're just plain old normal looking feet. That being said, if you haven't washed your feet in the past year...
Maybe do that before you see your Podiatrist. We are happy to help you cut hard thick nails but its the 5 month old toe jam that's the smelliest. Please wash that out before seeing me, no need for a fancy pedicure just soap and water and a good "floss between the toes" with a dry wash cloth is all I'm asking. Unless you're disabled and then of course I understand. doUBleaveNmagic
Don't Look....
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Men are embarrassed of penis size (all sizes) and make it awkward by making weird comments. Women apologize for all body hair. If it's truly an issue, we clip it, if not, it's just hair. LunaLovegood567
Laugh Denied.
Decided to make a joke while getting my physical to lighten the mood, so I asked the doctor if she'd had any prior experience in microbiology while giving me a hernia check. Unfortunately we didn't share the same sense of humor, as she didn't find it as entertaining as I did. RelativelyUselessLad
Shavings....
As a massage therapist I get women that apologize for not shaving their legs that day. I honestly don't care, I didn't shave my legs for the occasion either. _MKUltraViolet
Yep, former massage therapist.
Just come in clean. You're just a slab of meat on my table.
(Unless you have a really crazy tattoo. I'll notice that, lol). helena_handbasketyyc
Pooping......
Pooping. Also farting. Like, hon, I'm here helping you (I'm a CNA) because you literally haven't pooped in like three days. The nurse and I just helped you work out the biggest shit I've ever seen--honestly I'm proud of you, and don't care that you farted for a solid minute afterwards. I'm just glad you feel better.
It's all natural bodily functions man! They made it into a children's book for a reason. And as a person with GI issues, I hate that it's so stigmatized. Even I feel the need to hold in my supremely painful BMs or gas until there's no one around, even though it makes me miserable. muse539
Most. Not All.
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The size of their flaccid penis. First Of all, we don't care. Second, most penises are unimpressive when soft and cold. ArachnaMinax
Stay Calm.
Scars/acne, imperfect teeth, wrinkles everywhere. I didn't see it posted so I just wanted to say I see it all the time. Also, I'm absolutely no case is any staff member ever checking you out in the ER. Seriously, even the most single, lonely person is not judging whether you're attractive or not. We see thousands of people a day. Honestly we forget. Whatever thing you're embarrassed of, we've seen it before. But we do gossip if you're a fool about you throwing a hissy fit. betta_fische
Tummies....
Their stomach. I need to take measurements and people straight up refuse and ramble incoherently as to why their stomach isn't perfectly flat and toned. It's sad it's such a a big deal to some people, I certainly don't judge or care, I just want to do my job. yepdonewiththisshi
Smile!
I'm a dental hygienist and people are very self conscious about their teeth and breath. Honestly we can't really smell your breath at all, we wear masks, if anything we can only smell our own. And teeth are teeth, don't let them keep you from smiling. Mearyballs406
Booby Trap....
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Bra fitter here. Women apologize all the time that their boobs are different sizes, when it's actually pretty rare to have a matched set. They also are ashamed of nearly every single aspect of breast shape, placement, firmness, and texture that you can imagine.
I've been doing this job for nearly a decade, and boobs are genuinely vastly different from person to person. I've probably only ever seen a half dozen pairs that look like boobs in the media, and women really think there must be something freakish about their boobs. hep632
Truth is....
Bodies come in all sizes and shapes. I'm a CNA, and I promise you, the second your clothes are back on, we've forgotten when your junk looks like. The only time we remember what you look like is when there's something unusual about it (and I don't mean size). Yeah, I remember what the guy with cancer of the penis looked like naked (he died). Why? Because his penis was a deformed trainwreck.
The weird thing is, mastectomies are so common in older women that I don't remember what individual women with mastectomies look like. I remember which ladies have one (or zero) boobs, but it's so common I cannot recall what they look like.
Nobody cares if you shave your crotch or your legs or your pits or your face.
Also, really, really fat guys "lose" their penises. Their body fat envelopes their penises and it looks like they have a second belly button. Damn_Dog_Inappropes
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.