Typically, there is no excuse for cheating on your partner. A relationship should be built on trust, and if you don't have that, it's best to not be in a relationship at all. But what about the rare occasion where it's actually justified?
streethunte asked: Cheaters of reddit. Why did you do it?
That's a tough one.
"Gonna break the theme and give a real answer of the one time I did cheat on someone.
Wasn't happy, was only in the relationship because of threats of self harm and not having the understanding and maturity to deal with it. Cared enough to say "okay okay we'll work it out" and go with whatever she wanted, but the relationship itself was hell. Was asked over by another girl, and thought to myself in that moment "I don't care, I've already tried to break up like half a dozen times" and went on over.
She found out, of course, and cut herself badly enough to get hospitalized. I told a nurse about our relationship and how I've been trying to end it but caving to her threats of self harm.
Her parents were there too, though they were of the opinion I should just stick with her to get her through life. Nurse told me that she was only going to end up killing herself and to leave her, and honestly that get-out-of-guilt-free-card was all I needed.
She died a few years later. Suicide.
I go back and forth on if the right thing to do was to stick with her and try to be her support. Don't set yourself on fire, and yet... I dunno."
GET WRECKED.
Giphy"She chipped away at my self esteem and confidence for over a year. We did the thing where we would be good for a few months and then she would break up with me for a week or two, presumably to get with some guy she liked, I knew it was the case at least one of the times.
She would always make the comment, when we would be having make up sex, "I bet this is better than pleasurin yourself." So basically she was saying I wasn't attractive enough to have sex with anyone else. So I proved her wrong, also got some of my self esteem and confidence back, as pathetic as it sounds.
I had finally had enough when she was getting ready and casually said "I think I am too pretty for you." Kicked her out and declined any further attempts at reconciliation."
At least they grew from it.
"I was stupid. Only time I did it I was on the way out with my current gf. Girl that I had mutual feelings for was on the outs with her bf. Too many drinks later and we are going at it against a wall. Woke up the next day, broke up with my gf. Girl didn't leave her bf. Moved on.
Have an amazing wife and life now, but this mistake will be with me forever. I was the guy who said I would never cheat and now I am not that guy.
TLDR: Don't get drunk around people you have complex feelings about."
Regret indeed.
"No sex for a year. When we did have sex, she'd just lay there. She started going out all the time without telling me who/what/when/where. Always unhappy. Night of main event, other girl starts making major passes, I try to leave and call gf in my car. Rings and rings. More passes from other girl. Call gf again, she clearly hangs up/declines my call....
Go back inside to other girl.
Eternal regret."
This one has a happy ending.
Giphy"I was in a relationship with a man who was 8 years older than me and who started grooming me when I was 13.
The person I cheated with made me feel genuinely cared for and appreciated. It was something I'd never felt before. I felt safe. It was the first time I slept with someone because I actually wanted to, instead of doing it out of fear."
Not the best way to handle that.
"Because she cheated first, and lied to me about it. I then met a willing and sexually adventurous woman, and things happened.
I do have to thank my ex-girlfriend, because I would never have gone through it if she had not motivated me to do so.
The real answer: I was too much of a p***y to admit that the relationship had failed. I was determined to make it work, and I thought if I cheated we would be equal then I could move past her infidelity. I was wrong, SHE broke up with me not long thereafter."
A complicated situation.
"My first relationship lasted 3 years. This was all in high school.
It should have lasted 2. He was very mean to me and every time I tried to break it off, things only got worse. So I lied to him said I was staying home and then hung out with this guy who wasn't really my type but he was nice and followed me around like a puppy dog, obsessed with me, it made me feel special. I kissed him.
He found out I lied about staying home. Next time we met up I seriously feared for my life. He kept a closer watch on me, suspecting (but not knowing) I had a "thing" for this other guy.
Bf 1 and I planned to have sex after my birthday (we started dating when I was 15, this was almost 3 years later). I couldn't explain it to him, but after bad encounters early in life I wanted to be 18 before having consensual sex. I wanted to be an official adult first, as though waiting would stretch out my stolen childhood more. He thought it was stupid. It was, I still can't explain it."
"A few months before my birthday, my first bf moved to another state. We tried to long distance (his desire, not mine) but eventually things just fell apart slowly.
By then the other guy had lost interest and I was telling him I loved him, I just said it to get him to follow me around like an obsessed idiot like he used to because it made me feel better about myself. We ended up having sex a few days after my birthday (my first time) while I was technically still long-distance dating bf 1. I was not sexually attracted to this second guy, I only had sex with him because I thought it would make him value me more. I knew he'd had sex before and he claimed to be someone's first time as well.
Eventually bf 1 and I connected again and he told me he had his first time with someone else so I told him about my experience also. His was not great either. He was finally going to therapy and being medicated so I felt we could finally talk as adults. He's improved a lot, I'm very happy for him, but I told him we could not ever date again. He was still living far away and was much more meek and agreeable over text than in person.
Sorry that was so long and sad, but it has a happy ending. I've been in an actual healthy relationship for a year and a half now after learning to be comfortable on my own being single, but this guy really supports me and improves my life and brings me up when I'm down so that's why I'm dating him. I tell him all the time how grateful I am to have him in my life."
Good moral.
Giphy"I got caught up in a perfect storm of relationship struggles, low self esteem from loose skin after weight loss, extreme stress from school (and the resulting sleep deprivation), being manipulated by the guy I cheated with, and it being what I thought I needed to get my sex drive back. It was not. I told my boyfriend of 3 years about everything, and despite my best efforts, in all likelihood it'll be what ends our relationship.
Don't cheat, kids. You'll be full of self-hatred and hurt a person who you love. It's not worth it."
Short but intense.
"Boyfriend told me to quit my stressful job and find something else. Rent time comes around and he takes back his promise to cover me- says he doesn't care how I get the money.
Turns out he did care."
Oof.
"S- my ex, B- my cheating accomplice
Was in a long distance relationship and S had been ignoring or cutting short calls for a few weeks. The last time we saw each other (about 6 weeks prior) S made comments that I didn't look as good since getting really into fitness/gym life and didn't feel like having sex with me.
I was out clubbing with my sports team and B (who had chatted me up a week before but I blew him off) started dancing with me and told me how good I looked. My drunk self just thought about how unhappy I had been and I decided I wanted to be single.
So I went back to B's place and slept with them. I did it purely because I wanted to and it was nice that someone thought I was hot.
Broke up with S the next day in case you were wondering. Turns out S had slept with 7+ other people and never told me."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.