You ever have those moments where you realize you've been doing something the hardest way possible or for no reason at all? Like the dude in this article who ate oranges wrong his whole life? Yeah, that's a thing.
So, not everyone has a moment as bad as realizing you've eaten oranges all wrong or that you've been sorting your trash by color like Michael Scott from the Office? One Reddit user asked:
And yeah, I've seen the episode. I know the incredible disappointment. I was in those comments SO FAST - because everyone loves a good fail whale moment when it's not in their life. No need to hide it. I know my audience.
Here are some of the more popular and more face-palmy replies.
A New Stick
I spent probably the first 20 years of my deodorant wearing life struggling to get that little plastic cover thing off the top of a new stick of deodorant. I'd pry it off with my nails, even go so far as to use my teeth on a particularly stubborn one. Then at like age 32 (married with a child I was responsible for keeping alive) I realized all I needed to do was turn the dial on the bottom, extending the stick slightly, and the plastic cover thingy popped right off. I'm utterly ashamed to have just admitted that, but I feel such a weight off my chest. I am not a smart man.
What's My Password?
Not me but a buddy of mine - he wanted to check his bank balance from my computer one night so I said sure. So he loads up the bank website and tries typing in his password. At that point he notices that the password dialogue will only accept the first 6 characters. His password was 8 characters long. So he's like WTF? So I also use this bank and was like, dude, it has only ever let you do a max of 6 characters. He said no, he's always had an 8 character password for this bank site which he's used for years. So I said, why don't you try just typing in the first 6 characters of your password anyway and... it logged him in. So for years he was typing an 8 character password on this site, not realizing that it would stop at 6 every time. Now maybe because we'd had a few beers at this point but we had a good laugh over this one...
Six Gas Cans
Giphy
When I was 16 and had just learned how to drive I got distracted and ran out of gas about 2 miles up the road from the gas station. I called my best friend and she came and got me and we drove to the gas station to get a gas can and fill it to take it to the car. But all the gas cans only held 2 gallons each, and I had a 12 gallon tank! So *naturally,* we bought 6, filled them up, used them to fill up my car, and then handed out the remaining gas cans as gifts to family members. I will NEVER forget the look on my stepdad's face when I explained why I was giving him a gas can.
It didn't even occur to either of us that the function of the gas can was just to get you back to the gas station. I was on my way to the beach about an hour away, so I drove the whole way down there with 6 empty gas cans in my car. And never once thought to question my excellent decision. :)
That's Not How Internet Works
Not me, but years ago in one of my classes "Technology and Society" or something.
I watched the professor bring up Yahoo search, search for Google, click the link to go to Google search, and then type the exact URL of the website he wanted to go to into the search bar.
- Studlum
The Safety Evaluations
Bullshit paperwork. Apparently, I was the only person including an equipment checklist and safety evaluation in my post job paperwork packet for a whole fucking year before someone told me we didn't have to anymore. Corporate was just throwing those in the trash.
They'll shit their pants demanding certain things but just let you flap in the wind doing menial tasks if it is of no consequence to them.
15 Hours And Damaged Knees
I used to be a lighting technician in an office high rise. I swapped out all the florescent tubes on a floor for LED tubes. We're talking like 350 bulbs and 2 days work. I would go up the ladder, take off a lens, swap the bulb and then reach to do the same thing on another light (if the layout allowed it). Then come down, move the ladder and repeat, hell on my knees and a real pain in the ass. I managed to develop a grinding in my knee due to a condition I was unaware I had and ended up in physio because of this. On top of that. I had to keep the area spic and span in case someone wanted to look at the space to lease it, which meant I'd have to walk the cases of old bulbs to the area where I was to keep them and then take them to the recycling area when I got too many.
Anyways... I get the floor done and I am eating lunch with some of the office folk, someone asks where I have been because they haven't seen much of me, so I explain. The head of tenant construction stops me and says "Why the hell did they make you do that? We're tearing the walls out and changing the lighting layout." Apparently leasing knew all about this but my department manager neglected to check in with them before starting a retrofit on what they assumed was an empty floor.
Close to 15 hours of work and damaged knees, for nothing.
One Spoonful
Another guy's moment:
Worked in a kitchen and saw a guy scooping new, solid fryer oil into the cleaned, empty deep fryer with a spoon.
The block of oil was large and the process would take ages.
I grabbed the box of oil, flipped it over and placed it on top of the deep fryer, pulled off the cardboard and the plastic and walked away. The pilot light would melt the solid block, eventually, and it could be left unattended.
The look on that guy's face was priceless. He had been scooping it in, one spoonful at a time, for years.
It's A Fake
My wife has a notoriously black thumb, she cant even keep the weeds alive. So I bought her a nice plastic succulent arrangement for her desk rather than getting her a real plant. The other day she said to me "I'm so proud of myself, I've been watering that plant and moving it daily so it gets enough sun, and I've kept it alive for a year!" She was not pleased when I told her you don't need to water fake plants. Slept on the couch that night but I had a great laugh.
How To Eat An Orange
Giphy
About two years ago I was having breakfast with my landlady and her son (I used to work with him), and she gave me an orange. I started eating it the same way I've been eating oranges for my entire life (I was 25 years old at the time), but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.
I kept catching them looking at me out of the corners of their eyes as we talked and ate. It really messed with my head and made me think that there was something wrong with me. They kept sneakily looking at me, then at my orange, then at each other, then back at me, and when our eyes would meet they would quickly look away. "What are they looking at?!" I thought. "What am I doing wrong?!"
I figured it had to do with the orange, so... after breakfast I went home and tried to look up "how to eat an orange." Man oh man...
Apparently the flesh of an orange is edible?!
I had always thought that only the juice was edible, and the flesh and skin were not, so for YEARS, for my ENTIRE LIFE, I would get an orange slice, chew it until I'd squeezed all the juice out of it, and then spit it out and place it on a napkin before moving on to the next slice. I "ate" oranges like pieces of gum. Chew until flavorless, spit out, repeat. Like chewing tobacco!
To this day I am still so embarrassed by the fact that these people were looking at me create this disgusting tower of chewed up, spit out, mushy orange flesh on their dining room table, and they must've found my behavior to be so odd and unsettling that they just couldn't bring themselves to say anything!
- rubcar91
The Neighbor Is Dead
I used to pick up my elderly neighbors mail from the lobby in our apartment block every day and post it into her flat for 3 years. Turns out she died 6 months after we moved in.
- mattkem8
Go ahead, share your shame. What's your worst "all for nothing" moment?
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
