We spend so much of our lives wishing and praying to be anywhere else but where we are in the present. Now, granted, some people are in rough situations and they need to be anywhere else but, more often then not, we're just not appreciating the fact that we are standing on the spot that was meant for us. It's true we may not be where we wanted or have gotten what we thought we wanted but maybe we got exactly what we needed. That is an important distinction we tend to over look.
Redditor u/Jaxerfp wanted to discuss all the times people came to realize how life worked out exactly how it should've by asking everyone to share.... Douglas Adams once wrote, "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be," how might this quote describe an experience in your life?Knowledge by Chance
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While getting my degree, I was just taking classes that interested me that also had to do a little with my major. Turns out I was getting my minor in chemistry without even realizing it.
Trashed
I got home once and absent-mindedly threw away my socks for no reason. I just took them off and put them in the trash. When I realized what I did, I dug through the trash only to find out that both socks had holes in them. Turns out they belonged in the trash anyway. I've never found a quote that described that situation more perfectly than this one.
When in Iraq
I was a certified Ford mechanic, 2008-2009 happened, and no work was coming in. Got a job offer to teach auto mechanics in Iraq to the new Iraqi army. As a result, I learned I have a passion for people trying to better their life. I ended up sponsoring my Iraqi interpreter to come to the US.
Since then I came back and finished my degree, and now am in learning design at an amazing company.
My Iraqi brother is now married here in the states to an amazing wife, and they have a kid. He has a great job and is finishing his degree as well.
Life can be an amazing journey.
Enjoy the ride.
School Ties
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In high school, I went to a college prep catholic school and hated it. All because my parents wanted me to go there. Junior year I decided to stop wrestling after doing it for 2 and a half years (summer and spring wrestling) at this high school.
Coach decided to accuse me and teammates of doing molly although I had never seen it and only ever smoked. The school decided I wasn't a great fit and kicked me out. Ended up at a local public high school where I reconnected with a few friends from middle school. Had extremely helpful teachers and graduated. I realized I should have been at that local public high school from the start but it instantly felt like home.
Springfield MO....
In the 90s I lived in Springfield MO and absolutely loved it there. Never wanted to be anywhere else. My wife finished college and got a job in another state not far away. I didn't want to move there but did reluctantly. Within a couple of years, I absolutely loved it there. Made a ton of friends, had a great job, and couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Lived there 20 years and thought it would be where I die.
Last year we moved to Connecticut, again for my wife's job, and I love it here too and can't really imagine moving back. It turns out, it's not the place I live, but who I live with that matters. My wife is my home, and where she is, is where I need to be.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards and comments. I now understand what people mean when they write "my inbox blew up". I hope you all have a great holiday season and stay safe and healthy.
Leaving Arizona.....
Never planned to divorce, never planned to leave Arizona, never planned to remarry, never planned to leave a career I loved, never planned to be hit by a car. I've done all of that in the last 2 years.
I completely rewrote my entire life and every plan I had in every way imaginable. Would not have it any other way.
My new husband and my new life are a level of happiness I've never known. Seriously even recovering from a serious injury and everything that has gone with that is better than my previous life because of who I have to love me now.
Where you are now....
People seem to think they'll only ever be happy when they reach a certain goal. "When X happens I'll be happy." I try to appreciate what I have right now and the journey I'm on. I may have an average car, rented house and little family but I LOVE all these things. Yes a ton of money would make it easier to buy things but I'm happy where I am right now & loving the journey.
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I slept walked straight to the end of the hall where there were two doors: one to the bathroom and one to my older brother's room. Opened the door, lifted the lid, and peed.
Turns out I had opened the door, lifted my brothers blanket, and peed.
Not where I intended, but I finally got back at that jerk for farting on me for years.
When the time is right....
It took several years to conceive our son. By the time he was 3 year old, we had tried many times with medical assistance for a second. We have up and started an adoption.
Well, after we got all the paperwork together and sent off to China, we found out my wife was expecting. Ok, we can deal with that. As my wife put it, "What's the worst that could happen?"
But the ultrasound showed that it was twins.
So my kids are 18, 14, 14 and 14 now.
It's not what we would have ever planned, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Edit: Ascribing it all to "Stress" seems to be common. That comes across telling them "It's all in your head", and blaming them for the years of infertility and often multiple miscarriages they have suffered. Dealing with infertility itself causes stress far more than Stress causes Infertility.
I love you past me....
I suffered an extreme trauma that took my legs. I also went through a month trapped in my own nightmares while in an induced coma. Needless to say, it is an experience I would never put anyone else through.
I came out the other side of that far more empathetic, patient, and understanding as well. The personality change is so drastic, people that knew me before say I'm an entirely different person. I'm a loving father as this new me. I met the love of my life as this new me. Despite how hard living in this body is, I love life more that ever.
If I could see into the past and alter what happened, I wouldn't. The suffering was horrific, but transformative. To become who I am now, the accident must happen. I'm sorry past me, but if I'm honest, you aren't a good person. I don't miss being you.
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The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.