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People Share The Most Insulting Gift They've Ever Received

People Share The Most Insulting Gift They've Ever Received
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Getting gifts is supposed to be a fun celebration of the occasion - but we all know that one person who uses gifting as an opportunity to air their beefs.

In the movies, it's someone like the catty mother-in-law, but here in the real world, this sort of pettiness can come from literally anywhere.


Reddit user itsthedreamteam asked:

What's the most insulting gift you've ever received?


Some people take these insults with a grain of salt, or brush them off as being the other persons issue. But for others, these gifts really hit on insecurities and soft spots and so they found them really hurtful.

How people handle getting awful gifts varies, but one thing is pretty consistent - these gift givers are flagrant petty little monsters. So if you've got one in your life, take comfort in knowing you're not alone.

Here are some of the most insulting gifts people have gotten from their own personal monsters.

"Chubbier Than That" 

My mom always buys me clothes, more specifically shirts from target or goodwill, for every gift, even though:

a) I tell her I have too many clothes, I've been trying to get rid of clothes, I don't want or need anymore clothes

b) she always buys me sizes XL and up even though I'm a comfortable S/M, and then when I tell her it's too big, she always says, shocked, "I thought it would fit" , and occasionally even add that she thought I was "chubbier than that"

- ragenbake

Three Hats

I have alopecia, which is when your hair falls out in random patches on your body. It got to the point that I had to shave my hair because I had bald spots on the top of my head. Having a bald head as a little girl was tough. I opted out of wearing hats or a bandanna because I felt dumb covering it up when everyone could already tell I was bald.

My grandma though would always force me to wear hats when I came over to her house. She would ALWAYS say stuff like "Little girls aren't supposed to look like that, cover up." It hurt but I ignored it and put the hats on, I was super quiet as a kid and didn't make a fuss.

For my birthday my grandma bought me 3 different kinds of hats. I remember sitting there wanting to cry the whole time after opening her gift but I just sat there quiet. Honestly, those 3 hats ruined my entire 9th birthday, I felt so ugly.

- tiltedrides

A Decade Of Chickens

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When I was in high school my mom got me a shirt that made fun of my ADD. It referenced chickens. There's this common joke that goes something like "People say I have ADD, but they just don't under- OH LOOK A CHICKEN!"

She then proceeded to buy chicken related things for the next few years and to this day points out anything related to chickens like it's some kind of inside joke.

It didn't really bother me at first but after nearly a decade now it honestly hurts my feelings.

- EndFace_

Oink

When I hadn't lost all my baby weight 6 months after child birth, my mother- in -law gave me a plastic pig magnet for the refrigerator. It oinked every time you opened the door.

- annehewitt

Manners

My dad's third wife got me a book about manners. I used it to level her coffee table the same day. She re gifted it to me at least 5 other times, I found a way to put it back in her house every time.

- Browncoat_Loyalist

Dark Body Hair

My divorced parents, independently, with no contact with each other, gave me a No-No (a hair removal device) and an offer for laser hair removal... without ever talking to me about my body hair before... and in front of everybody. 😐

I've been made fun of for my dark body hair all my life or dealt with people pointing out that I've 'missed a spot', so it especially was embarrassing when I never asked for either of those things.

- milkdudfanatic

Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Be A "Better" Parent

My very religious ex mother in law gave me a book on better parenting through Christ.

A) I'm not at all religious and she knew it

B) It's rude and presumptuous to give someone a book on how to be a "better" parent.

- MrsSarahMascara

How They Perceive Me

Size 4XL pants from my aunt. As a 170-pound teenage girl this crushed my spirit. I was only a size large but thought this was how they perceive how big I was...

- Batattack_

She Meant Well

7 year old me was super in love with foxes. I made little clay models of fox families, had soft toys, drew pictures, etc.

My Yia Yia (grandma), knowing this, gave me a fox fur coat. It even had little fox tails hanging off it. Gracious little me thanked her with a trembling lip, then went home and sobbed. I remember hugging it as if I could bring it back to life but also being revolted by it. I handed it to mum and told her to burn it. Cried over that for days.

Yia Yia meant well, but man did the intention get corrupted somewhere. She bought me a plush toy fennec fox years later and kinda made up for it.

- miss_kimba

Embarrass And Insult

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My mom gave me an electronic toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash for my birthday - right in front of my long term girlfriend and family... knowing full well I'm self conscious about my teeth and I already own all those things.

Later, when I very politely asked her to, in the future, do things like that privately she cried about how hard it was for to do that. How hard it was for her to embarrass and insult me on my birthday.

I'm thinking of getting her a self help book entitled "Living with old age" next year.

- Douglerful

Towels

Towels. While the gift itself doesn't sound bad the reasoning behind it was incredibly insulting. I was 17 years old at the time and a senior in high school. It was a Christmas gift from my step-mother. She gave me a set of towels and told me I would need them when I moved out at 18. The kicker was she gave her son (my step brother) a brand new computer for Christmas. This was in 1992 when personal computers started around $4000.

I was pretty salty about it.

- TXEsrever

No Words

When I graduated college, my parents gave me a card to congratulate me. Inside the envelope, my never-showed-any-real-interest-in-my-life father had included a fridge magnet (and this was not intended to be a joke)... the fridge magnet said:

"Life doesn't come with an instruction book, that's why we have fathers"

This was given to me shortly after he had stormed out of my graduation ceremony early, because apparently he 'doesn't have time for this'.

I had/still have no words for that 'gift'.

- howtheeffdidigethere

Women's Clothes

Women's clothes and other things, because I'm a trans man and they knew it.

- Summer_1503

I am too. I've gotten perfume, make up/feminine body washes and stuff, and clothes. I give them to my sister and end up with nothing or not much.

- unfortunatereddituse

I'm Not Fat

My Gramma once gave me cut out magazine articles about losing weight when I was 14 or 15... I wasn't fat. Also, Gramma, doctors don't prescribe amphetamines anymore! (Or they didn't 25 years ago, maybe they do now, I don't know because I'M NOT FAT!)

- glitter_is_my_game

Too Pretty

Giphy

I started working evenings so my husband started having to make dinners. My MIL got me a magnet for the fridge that said "I'm too pretty to cook"

It's like cooking dinner is the only way a woman could possibly contribute to a household. And under no circumstances should this task fall on a man. Funny thing is my husband discovered that he truly loves cooking, it's not a chore but a passion.

The magnet was meant to be a jab. She has mastered the art of passive aggressiveness. I get lotions for Christmas that I'm allergic to. Unless I happen to also be pregnant. If I'm pregnant I get lotions I'm not allergic to. Mother's day cards that are simply signed " I know you try". Yeah, she can't stand me.

- beattothepunch

Thanks, Grandma

A book on how to apply makeup, and the best way to get dressed to look pretty, I'm not the best looking girl, and I got it from my mom and grandma, as like, a helpful book, and I felt insulted.

- thenoobster420

Happy 15th

Father who left when my mom got pregnant sent me $10 and a card that said happy 15th birthday for my 16th. I was trying to save cash for a car so I took it, but now that I'm a father I literally can't imagine doing such a thing to my kids.

- ShoeboxJon

Christmas In August

I received a CD that has children singing revamped Christmas songs where they change the lyrics. First of all, I hate the sound of children singing. Secondly, Christmas music sucks and everyone knows it. Finally, re-vamped songs where the lyrics have been changed are unartistic, unintelligent pieces of shit. Weird Al Yankovic is a great example of this.

My aunt bought this for me for my birthday. My birthday is in August. I still don't talk to her at family gatherings.

- stokeszdude

Just Pray

A bible, because I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm not religious but, still, I felt like it was a way of telling me that I wasn't actually depressed, I just needed to pray.

I was raised by Christian parents and stepparent, I used to pray but I still got worse. Not blaming anyone, I just felt as if it didn't work.

- BluuZ3

Geeky Girls

This may seem dumb, but it kinda hurt me. So my mom had gotten me this book 2 years ago for/by "Geeky Girls" thinking it was a graphic novel kind of story. She chose that because I can't read well (its true, i struggle). She was sort of right, but I wasn't all that interested in the book - but that's not why it was insulting.

Last year leading up to Christmas, I was talking non-stop about Homestuck and was really hoping I'd get something relating to it. Nope.

Instead, my mom got me the exact same book from the year before. Really hurt.

- smolgay-birb

Free Samples

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I have a self-made millionaire uncle who decided to give me free samples from his company as both my birthday and Christmas present since I was born close to the 25th of December. His company sells ingredients to bakeries like Nabisco, so what I got was dried cranberries and chocolate chips, and a shitty golfing shirt with his company's name on it. The same shirts he gave out at his last convention appearance.

- Kicksbuttson

Someone To Love You

After I lost a bunch of weight, my grandmother sent me a card saying how I was pretty now "since you lost all that weight" and how I'd be able to find someone to love me. She also ended the card with "Don't eat too much again!" I was turning 17. It was a birthday card.

Apparently, Happy Birthday wasn't enough.

- ard6612

A Shaming Moment

When I was a teen I grew really tall real fast, I outgrew my shirts and they became belly shirts. Being 12 I didn't have any money so my mom started commenting on how much I like to show my stomach off. I told her I just don't have any clothes that fit. She goes and buys large size sweaters and such, everything is too big. "Now you don't have to dress slutty."

WTF?

That logic never made sense to me. Everything I have is because you gave it to me. I hated that Christmas because when you're 12 -15, you're really insecure about everything and I hate that my mom turned a happy holiday into a shaming moment. She also gifted me a hairbrush when I told her mine broke 2 months prior.

She waited two months to replace an essential item so she could pass it off as a present. I had dreads in my hair that needed to be cut out because I wasn't able to brush my naturally curly hair. My mom is not very thoughtful. But I know she didn't mean to be so cruel.

- DilatedPoopil

Dirty And Fat

Last Christmas, my boyfriends family gave me an unwrapped bar of soap and the offer of a gym membership...

- IMainMaine

That's Not My Name

One relative always forgot how my name was spelled and bought me a misspelled personalized gift almost every single year.

- HipsterBiffTannen

Everybody In

When I was 15 and chubbier than my sister and mother (I was a size 8 compared to their 00 and 2) my grandma gave me a skirt she said she was sure would fit me. It did ... but it also fit my sister and my mom at the same time, and I'm sure if my dad was home, he could've stepped into it as well.

- Rose-Bradwardine

We Forgot

I took a year off of school after I graduated high school to stay home and make extra money, my parents bought me pots, pans, and Tupperware, and then said "We forgot you weren't going to school, but at least we can use them."

- [deleted]

Curious

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I was 8 years old hanging out in San Francisco with my mom and aunt. We stumble upon a toy store and my aunt gets excited and tells me to wait outside while she buys me something. This got me excited. What was she going to get me? Lego? Something that flies? Maybe another train for my Brio set?

She comes out and hands me a little stuffed Curious George toy, and I had never once been into Curious George. I knew about it, but I never expressed interest in it. My aunt on the other hand LOVED Curious George, and already had a bunch of the franchise's stuff at her place, and I never paid much attention to any of it. I take the doll and look at it, my 8 year old face unable to contain the disappointment. After tumbling it in my hands for a few seconds, she snatches it away from me and says, "Fine, if you don't like it, I'll take it!" Which of course makes my juvenile brain want it back and also to not upset her, but she kept it anyways.

Not so much an insulting gift, just an insulting experience from an Aunt who knew what I liked, but decided to get me a toy of something she liked instead.

- Subaru2013

I Didn't Want To

Nothing.

My college boyfriend's mother got me nothing for Christmas. I had been with him for 3 1/2 years, bought everyone in the family a couple gifts, and I was staying at their house for our entire winter break. I didn't bring it up. I already knew she didn't particularly care for me.

I heard my boyfriend ask her why there weren't any gifts for me and she flat out said "I didn't want to."

- gore-schach

People Reveal The Most Shocking Secrets Someone's Ever Told Them

One Redditor asked: 'What's the most shocking secret someone has revealed to you?'

Woman shushing camera by putting a finger to her lips
Kristina Flour/Unsplash

CW: addiction, death, abuse.

Everyone has secrets they'll take with them to their graves.

But some clandestine info is so hard to contain, that it can cause stress and anxiety until some of the pressure is alleviated.

You might be the person who was sworn to secrecy to share some of that burden.

But are you to be trusted to aid your secret-sharer in keeping their secrets?

Curious to hear from strangers online who have a tough time keeping some of the most jaw-dropping intel to themselves, Redditor HardDeep69420 asked:

"What's the most shocking secret someone has revealed to you?"

Knowing that a friend or family has suffered has haunted these Redditors.

A Painful Truth

"In the 70’s, my cousin died in a car crash that caught fire. I was very afraid that he was awake and felt the fire. My parents said he died immediately and didn’t suffer. My mother was on hospice at home in 2011. She told me the firemen were trying to open the doors and My cousin and the other teens were screaming for help when the cars caught fire. There were no survivors and my Aunt was never the same. It wasn’t until after his death that the jaws of life were distributed to our rural departments."

– Tkay906363

A Tough Call

"When I was 11 I had a friend reveal that her stepmother was abusing her... she made me promise not to say anything to my mom or any other adult. I agreed, we had weekly therapy sessions with a guidance counselor if you wanted it so it was my day to go and I just felt like I needed to tell… so I did. The counselor ended up reporting it and CPS got involved and my friend was made to live with her mother. She was so angry at me for telling but I felt it in my soul that I should. We are still friends to this day.. both of us 29 years old."

– SubstantialLove8330

"Sometimes you have to decide between your friend and your friendship. It sounds like you made the right choice."

– ALawful_Chaos

The Evil Of Addiction

"That he watched his son die of an overdose and didn’t do anything to help. He told me that his son had battled addictions for many years and that he had called an ambulance in the past when his son had overdosed, but that he thought it was better this time to 'just let him go since he made his choice.'"

– Ok-Associate-7894

The Ex And Her Health Issue

"I had an old girlfriend who was coming to Florida and wanted to hang out with me and my wife, she brought her mom, who I knew pretty well. A great dinner, drinks, fun stories, then when my ex went to the bathroom, the mom told me she (the ex) was dying of cancer. (I had No idea). It was sad, but yet felt so good she wanted to hang out. She died within a year. We were probably 35 years old at the time."

– waistingtoomuchtime

"You know..people will read this and grasp the sadness of the end but, on the other hand, your ex reached out and wanted to share some of her remaining time with you ..and your wife...clearly, your time together was special to her regardless of how it ended. You still had a warm place in her heart for you. That's actually quite awesome. I know you know that. Your wife is very lucky."

– Impressive-Doughnut7

Life will never be the same after Redditors found out about these long-hidden family secrets.

What The Fork?!

"When I was 16, my Mom announced at dinner that her sister was coming for a visit next week. I dropped my fork and said 'YOU HAVE A SISTER?'”

–Initial_lampwick115

"I had this: age 11 driving up to Scotland with my parents and we stopped off at a tiny town, walked into the big hotel, then got introduced to my uncle. My mum's brother. Hadn't existed before then and only came out of the woodwork because my grandpa died shortly before (they didn't get on). It was a weird shock but also an 'OK cool, life goes on' moment."

– slinkychameleon

Extended Family

"I'm 56 now but at some point in my early 40s while driving with my dad he says 'you have a half brother somewhere.'"

– ridobe

"My dad pulled this sh*t on me when I went to my grandfather's celebration of life. Picked me up from the train station, asked me if I knew about his new wife (I did) and their daughter, born six years before my mom died of cancer (they never divorced). Then had the guts to follow it up with a request to FaceTime them that night because they wanted to meet me, because "[he] never kept his family a secret... from them." It took a while for me to get over that."

– toujourspret

Invisible Husband

"I found out my mother and father were not divorced. He never existed. She had a one-night stand, found out she was pregnant, bought a wedding ring, changed her name, and told the family that she had gotten married. She made up excuses every time she went to my grandparent's house as to why her husband couldn’t also be there to meet them. On the 3rd visit, my grandfather told her never to wear that ring in his house again and when is the baby due? I’m 53."

– Traditional_Jicama72

Why The Nun Made Weekly Visits

"I found out my parents weren't married when I was 14, and my parents had a massive row after my dad was caught by the police with a sex worker. My mum blurted it out to me along with the reason why they were arguing. I'm 50. Up til then, they pretended.. when my Catholic secondary school asked for a marriage certificate as part of my screening for the school, they sent a letter to the priest confidentially... I still got in. Explains why from birth until 11, a Catholic nun would visit my parents every weekend, probably to ensure my soul was intact, lol."

– PidginPigeonHole

Things get sinister.

A Murder Confession

"Casually dropped they’d killed someone then got really quiet about it. Like, sad quiet. Sounds like there was a case surrounding the ordeal but could never get them to talk about it more and I didn’t want to push."

– lil-kingtrashm0uth

Dodging A Bullet

"My ex casual dropped he killed someone also. He was a lot more loud about it when he was upset with me though. 'I’ve killed for less'. I know the whole story, or both of them. The one he tells people, and the one he told me. Either way. He’s a scary man, and I would never wish to be near him again."

– Skyecatcher

One of the hardest positions to be in is when a friend tells you that they've cheated on their significant other, whom you also know.

This happened to me.

Keeping the privileged information was agonizing as I feigned ignorance whenever I hung out with the couple or with the person who had been cheated on.

Eventually, the pair broke up as the affair came to light through no involvement by me.

The truth always has a way of surfacing, after all.

Would you rely on that to happen, or would you intervene?

When is it okay to betray the person who entrusted you with their secret?

We all have brands or companies that we might admire from afar (or at the very least via their website or catalog), but know we will likely never shop there ourselves.

For the simple reason that their products and merchandise are simply out of our price range.

As a result, we may find ourselves like Holly Golightly at Tiffany's while window shopping, but never actually making a purchase.

However, there are some brands that are so luxurious, that even catalog or window shopping is out of the question.

As they are not only luxurious but also exclusive, only a certain few even know of their existence.

Redditor Halyycon10 was curious to learn about any and all of the luxury brands that cater exclusively to the wealthiest people on earth, leading them to ask:

"What are the 'quiet' luxury brands that only the super rich know about?"

Allow Me To Take You Upstairs...

"An Italian friend arranged a visit to a Murano glass gallery."

"After the general public cleared out of the public showroom, the gallery's people took us up some stairs to the 'real deal' gallery with shelves full of breathtaking art pieces."

"We admired one vase on a shelf, but were told that it would never be offered for sale -- it was too important as part of the island's legacy & heritage."

"I think that the way we zeroed in on it somehow convinced them that we were top art dealers "'in stealth mode'."

"For the rest of the afternoon, we were treated like VIPs."

"What a day that was...."-- funhousefrankenstein

Uncharted Territory

"I work in the Luxury Travel industry."

"I know quite a few."

"Exclusive Resorts is an invite-only membership club for very high-end travel."

"They don’t post their prices online, but I know people that work there."

"They have personal cell phone numbers for people like Jeff Bezos, Waltons, and people that live at that stratospheric titan of industry level."

"Their cheapest membership package is $100,000 to join, and can run up to $250,000."

"That’s just the price to join the club."

"You have to pay for any travel you want to book on top of that."

"They have a $600M portfolio of properties they own throughout the world, that only their members have access to."

"Want to guarantee availability for a finish-line view villa in Monaco during the Grand Prix?"

"Want to get a ski-in cabin next to the Walton’s cabin in Aspen over Christmas?"

"Want a luxury penthouse in Paris during fashion week?"

"These are your guys."

"They cap their membership at 3,000 people, so you may have to wait for a long time until you can get in."

"Another interesting one: White Desert is your tour operator of choice if you want a private expedition with your buddies to the South Pole."

"Their packages can run $100,000+ per person for a private jet to their base camp on the Antarctica plateau and then another custom-build ski-plane transfer to their camp on the South Pole."- El_mochilero

Giphy

Nothing More Valuable Than A Good Night's Sleep...

"Duxiana."

"For people who can buy a mattress that costs as much as a car."- Hot-Dress-3369

A Perfect Fit...

"Tailors on Saville Row."

"Wealthy people get their clothes custom made."- mecyh

Nothing To Give It Away...

"I had a rich friend once tell me that Gucci is what poor people think rich people wear."

"Since then I noticed that all of her clothes fit perfect, but she never has logos on anything."- hoptownky

gucci GIFGiphy

These Boots Might NOT Be Made For Walking...

"John Lobb bootmaker in St James."

"Make beautiful handmade shoes for royalty, celebrities and rich types."

"They are well known but not a household name."- queenirv

Free For All...

"I used to be of the opinion that really wealthy people wore stuff that you wouldn't really notice, but disappointingly (having spent some time around folks with extreme wealth recently), the true answer is just: whatever the hell they like."

"If someone really liked branded gear before they were wealthy, you'd better believe they're going to be dressed like Ali G once they make it big."- AvaRCordero

Pay Up To Dress Down...

"Jeff Goldblum was on the Conan podcast and talked about where he got his jeans."

"It was from this hard-to-find shop in New York that not many people had heard of.

Come to find out, not surprisingly, their jeans are insanely expensive, and only the very rich could afford them." - Reddit

Jeans Pants GIF by Post MaloneGiphy

For All Your Million Dollar Needs...

"Buy a copy of The Robb Report magazine at a bookstore and marvel at the insane ads in the back for private jets, yacht brokers, military level trained personal protection Belgian Malinois guardian dogs, personal protection security firms staffed by former US Secret Service and retired Tier 1 operators only in their early 40s and fit with 20 years experience, and even crazier stuff."

"Pfft buying a $400 pair of jeans is pedestrian when you have Taylor Swift money and roll in 2 fully armored Escalades and are escorted on errands by a phalanx of guys in black polo shirts and jeans who have been places and done things in sandy countries that are still classified."- scots

Cruisin...

"Amels."

"They are one of the best super yacht manufacturers in the world with over 100 years of experience."- theassassintherapist

Before You Show Off That Logo...

"Almost all of the well known luxury brands have several lines. "

"The ones with logos all over them are typically the cheapest (I’m looking at you LV, Gucci) etc. which is why they’re so common."

"The same companies will have more exclusive lines that are much more expensive, usually more classic in style, and they’re not covered in logos, so you’d never know what brand they are unless you’re really into that kind of thing."

"For example, my wife wanted to buy me a nice wallet, so we went to the LV shop."

"I liked one that had no logo on the exterior of it, just simple grey leather, and it cost twice as much as the ones with 'LV' stamped all over them."- ToothbrushGames

Black Friday Christmas GIF by FOX TVGiphy

People Go Nuts For Interior Design

"Zuber & Co."

"Crazy expensive wallpaper and room dividers/panels."

"I love old rococo and baroque things so happed to walk by their store in NYC."

"Stopped in due to the patterns and quickly realized I do in-fact NOT have thousands of dollars per ft for wallpaper."

"For example $5,000 - $30,000 per panel."- Reddit

It's About Time

"When I met my wife she worked selling high end watches."

"Talking about it on our first date I said ‘oh like Rolex and stuff?’"

"She said ‘Rolex customers are just new money, drug dealers and old men'."

"'If people contact us wanting one we just direct them to a watch shop'."

"Then rattled off a list of about 10 makers I’d never heard of which her international clients would fly here just to try on."

"I was wearing a Luminox at the time which I thought was pretty badass but all of a sudden I felt like a kid running around with that gadget from Ben 10."- StrangledByTheAux

As the saying goes, "if you have to ask, you can't afford it!"

Though it must be said, there is also absolutely NOTHING wrong with shopping for watches at a watch shop.


A cucumber, sits along side measuring tape.
Photo by charlesdeluvio

The human body is an amazing thing.

It is capable of far more than we ever thought possible.

When studying anatomy we really should start doing a deeper dive into all the parts of the body.

Each organ and limb has a story and function that we never really learn about.

Redditor NorthPengyyy wanted to discuss... the penis, so they asked:

"What are some fun facts about the penis?"

Don't Die

"Fun fact - the erection happens when blood enters the penis, the main "structure" of the penis hardens and expands (obviously), but by doing so it presses the Veins and blocks them. Meaning - the blood comes but doesn't go out of the organ, thus keeping it erect for too long. This is why erections over 6 hours are dangerous because the blood blockage is for too long of a time and the penis can die due to lack of oxygen. I hope it was interesting."

SoapBubble3

Outaries

"The seam on your testicle sack is where your proto vagina sealed up while you were in the womb."

melonsquared

"So testicles are just ovaries that are outaries?"

datazulu

"Literally yes. They all start as gonads in your abdomen. Girls’ gonads stay and turn into ovaries. Boy’s gonads descend and become testes. It’s why, when you take a hit to the balls, it hurts all the way back up in your stomach and can make you nauseated. Boys still have innervated back up to where the gonads first developed."

SpartySoup

SNAP!

Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy

"It can break like a glow stick if it slips out while a girl is on top and slams back down on it."

Artistic_Marzipan221

De-boned

"Most animals have a 'penis bone' which allows for instant erections, however, humans do not have this bone. The cause is thought to be because without the bone, courtship, arousal, and mating is a longer affair therefore leading to increased intimacy and pair bonding. The penis is literally made for love."

nailbunny2000

Prehensile

Nat Geo Adventure GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy

"An elephant's penis is prehensile, like its trunk. It can be used to pick up objects."

Sea-Woodpecker-610

How come only elephants were granted this gift?

Frozen

Polar Bears GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy

"Being stressed out, exhausted, and cold makes it smaller. So the smallest penis in the world should belong to a man being chased by a polar bear in the Arctic."

Electrical_Age_336

Wait, what?

"I remember watching a weird YouTube documentary about a spider (in Australia of course) whose bite gives you a forever erection."

JMthought

It Just happens

"Just because it's erect DOES NOT mean the person is horny/aroused."

Spartan0536

"I recently learned that clenching other muscles is a good way to get rid of an erection. The bigger the muscle, the better, so clenching your butt is a good way to go. Apparently, it’s because it causes more blood to go to the clenched muscle. More blood to the muscle = less blood to the penis."

phatcat9000

"I'm quite anxious all the time. When I'm just chilling with nothing else to do, I reach a point of relaxation and I get erections, I'm not aroused or anything, I'm just chilling and it seems that my body approves of my time off I guess."

chifrijoconbirra

Be Smart

"There is a ligament at the base of the penis that causes the penis to rise when it becomes erect. This is what causes a bulge etc."

"Some people have stupidly made the decision to have this ligament cut. This is because it adds a few inches of length to the erect penis. However, it will just hang down. Do. Not. Do. This. It is a stupid thing to do."

phatcat9000

Data Entry

information GIFGiphy

"A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. One ejaculation represents roughly a data transfer of 15,875 GB equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops."

Nijinsky_84

Well, the penis is far more interesting than we thought.

Isn't it?

Do you have any interesting tidbits to add? Let us know in the comments.

man in car holding a lot of American money

Brock Wegner on Unsplash

"I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad?
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad"~ "Money, Money, Money" ABBA

Money is either the root of all evil or the key to happiness, largely depending on whether you have any.

So how do people with money get it? One method is a job that pays the bills.

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