Men often get the feedback that they are impossible to buy for.
This might be because men are socialized to not reveal the things that make them the most vulnerable--so people have trouble getting to the bottom of what they like.
However, if the right people listen, they can figure it out.
They can also figure it out if they ask.
Here were some of those answers.
I don't celebrate birthdays much, but my girlfriend got me a few pints of berries. She listened when I told her that berries are my favorite food, and brought them to me on my birthday. I nearly cried, because I felt seen and understood. I don't like cake, I don't like praise or attention, and I don't really want any gifts, but goddamn, I do love some good blackberries.
We Remember Experiences
My best birthday present I ever received was more an experience (not sex (well that too)). At the time she didn't have a lot of money
I came home from work and she was wearing a pretty sun dress and holding a cold cider for me (we didn't live together btw).
We went through to the family room where she sat me down with some chips and told me some of the reasons she loved me, and the ways I make her life better.
Then we had a delicious dinner, watched a movie she knew I'd like (Die Hard, how can you go wrong?) and then the aforementioned sex.
Just being told she loves me and having someone compliment who I am as a person was enough to make it the best gift. The rest was icing on cake.
Oh yeah, and an Ice Cream Freddo Cake, the greatest of all the birthday cakes.
Gifts From Thoughts
Actual physical gifts? Just anything we might have mentioned that we liked and thought was cool. The more in passing we mention it, the more attention it shows us we have been paid, which is really what gifts are about after the age of about 10.
Removing An Anxious Event
I am very particular about the stuff I like, and I clothes shopping for myself and don't care for fashion, so my gifts are as follows:
birthday: t shirt and jeans
Anniversary: shirts and pants
If this relationship goes well, I never ever have to go clothes shopping again, and that may be the best gift of all for me.
Some Physical Help
If I had a girlfriend the only thing I would really want is a neck massage, I have a really stiff neck and nobody I know would bother helping out plus a chiropractor or a massage therapist is too expensive for me especially since I'm still really young
Being The Girlfriend
If this is a woman looking for some ideas for a boyfriend, something I've been doing for a while is to keep a running list in my phone of things that he mentions in passing that he would like and then when an occasion hits, I have a huge list of things and can pick what to get him from that. It works really well and he appreciates me remembering things we talked about ages ago.
We Go Together
Invite me to hike a mountain, ride an helicopter or camp somewhere. Buy me some materials and let's try to built something stupid together. Just surprise me, as long as it's a gift for both of us
Not Throwing Away Her Shot
After 4 years of hearing of Hamilton and 2 years of listening to the album, for my birthday in 2019 she got us tickets for Hamilton in Chicago. The best gift, hands down, anyone has ever gotten me. Never had to ask, she just knew. I cried. I cried when she got them, I cried during the show, and I still cry just thinking about how much I wanted to experience something, and she worked so many extra shifts to make it happen.
The year prior she also just gave me a lazy Saturday bbq of chill music, not too much attention, as I don't like being the center of attention, so that lazy Saturday bbq with her family (who I absolutely love and who loves me like a member of the family, her parents signed the card they gave me with "Love, mom and dad".) She and her family are just so loving towards me and I can't believe just how wonderful they all are towards me and how she just knows how to make me feel so special. So yeah, just, something as simple as a lazy Saturday bbq or as grand as Hamilton tickets, just something that says "I know you well, I know what you love what you need. Big or small"
Not Stuff, Anything But Stuff
My wife is really great at coming up with gifts, so she has much better ideas than I do about what I want for my birthday.
If I had to choose though, just a nice day filled with stuff I like. Good beer, good dinner, lazy time, sexy time, maybe a nice hike or something. Except for the improbably good gifts my wife somehow comes up with every time, I generally hate getting gifts because it's awkward having to feign how much I like the gift. I'm a grown man, I just buy stuff I want, and usually if I don't buy it I don't want it.
Teaching Yourself A New Skill
This may seem to be very extra or ridiculous or excessive to some people but for my fiance's birthday this year I am learning his first language, I already know seven others which he found cool but slightly disappointing that none of them were his first.
I know his siblings also have a harder time learning what is my first and his family's second language so I thought it would be something he would appreciate. I am still getting him a physical gift but it will be smaller, (I'm thinking a new set of kitchen knives). The key to gift-giving is giving something with meaning behind it, not just money.
They say a diamond is forever. But is it just a saying or is there a modicum of truth to that?
Gifts are meant to aid or to lift the morale of the receiver, if they're done well. A good gift will completely re-tool the life of the person it's given to and it will stay that way.
But which gifts are the ones that truly last?
Here were some of those answers.
As silly as it may sound (and it needs space): a tree.
We were given a small lemon-tree ages ago, and each year got so many good lemons. A lemon-tree lives for about 50 years, so not necessarily a lifetime, but you get the idea ;-)
Honestly, teaching someone financial responsibility. When I was 18, someone gifted me a class. I thought what a terrible gift. I'm nearing 24 now, and never been more grateful to that person.
Take A Look; It's In A Book
If they're a reader, a good book. They may only read it once, but the lessons and feelings of the journey will stay with them. If they're not a reader, still a good book is a good choice, just try to make it one they have a strong inherent interest in from the get-go.
Debt free education. Was lucky to have a single mom that somehow supported me all the way through college. Cue multiple offers upon graduating, i had the power to walk away from any offer as there was no pressure to repay any loans. It gives you the confidence to play hardball in the interview, which vastly improves your prospects.
Changing Your Story
Love. Especially growing up with it. It really changes the way you see the world and how you treat others. My boyfriend came from a lovely family who care for him (and I) immensely. My family? Talk sh*t all the time, say rude things, and didn't give me all that much affection. He's confident, aware of emotions and them being valid, and lacks anxiety issues. I'm self conscious, feel guilty for showing certain emotions, and have bad anxiety issues. Love really does impact people, and its never to late to show it.
A good knife.
It doesn't matter what type of knife it is or what its intended purpose is, be it a filleting knife for fishing, a blade on an expensive high quality multi-tool, a hunting knife, a (functional) decorative knife, a high quality kitchen knife or whatever else, a good, high quality blade - with proper care and maintenance - will last a lifetime.
How To Feed Myself
Teaching someone the basics of cooking!
Teaching myself to make eggs was the first step in my culinary adventure that started when I was a kid and is still continuing today. I taught my younger siblings how to cook basics like eggs and pasta and they've only improved since. My gf couldn't even turn on the stove when we got together (super spoiled kid growing up) so when she finally learned how, the first thing I taught her was scrambled eggs. She makes full, delicious meals now.
The Thought That Counts
Not very practical, but thoughtfully written cards. I have cards from friends, family, and teachers from years ago that I either keep in my top drawer or tape to my room walls because they're so nice. Whenever I'm feeling down (or at any other time tbh) I can re-read them and think of the good times I've shared with these people I love, some of whom I'll never see again.
Again, The Thoughts
My best friend of 5 years (now boyfriend/baby daddy) made me a bracelet when we first started dating and I haven't taken it off since. Every time I see it I remember him excitedly giving it to me and tying it around my wrist, it's hanging by a thread now and I'm gonna cry when it finally gives out
A Generation Of Food
Heirloom seeds, they can be saved and used to grow food and passed down from generation to generation. It's really sad to see how little variety there is in supermarkets. Tomatoes, and most vegetables in general, come in a variety of colours, sizes, and flavours. Some have been passed down for generations within families or tribes of indigenous people, but many heirlooms are dying out because supermarkets often favour more durable vegetables and fruits that withstand shipping.
A Note From Your Memories
I keep all handwritten cards from birthday/Christmas/ any occasion gifts. I've had a bunch from relatives that have passed away and I always love looking at them.
If they're a photographer, a manual focus lens. Probably a big old heavy FD lens from the 60s. I've got a 55mm f1.2 that's probably 40 years old and it still works great on my a7iii. Just as long as I don't let mold grow in it, it should last ages.
Takin' Pictures Is...
This might not sound as good like the others but if I were to give something that will last a lifetime, it is a photograph. The one taken from our greatest or happiest memories then write a message on the back of it. It could be a short message about that memory or what happened back then.
High quality kitchen knives.
My mother has used the same boning knife for years. She bought it when she started her acf apprenticeship and it's been with her ever since. Part of the Handle is melted but it is still a solid knife. Gotta love german steel. Twin henkels all the way. (Four star line)
I have one that I got when I was about to start culinary school, that I did use on a line for years and I have now retired it to home use only for now but it's still as sharp and is in used but perfect condition otherwise. (Pro s line)
But Only If It's A Hobby...
A nice rifle. If they're into that sort of thing, firearms are incredibly interesting and a very satisfying hobby. My dad bought me a pellet gun when I was 13 and while I don't shoot it anymore it stays on my wall and started me down a very fun rabbit hole of history science and simultaneously relaxing and exciting activity.
Something they can use. I like giving functional gifts. I try for lessons or subscriptions or homemade stuff. I avoid gift cards when I can. I was gifted a knitting subscription and I can now do lace work so I keep in that general theme.
For my fifteenth birthday (which is a pretty big deal for my culture) I got dumped. In the middle of the dance floor at my birthday party. While wearing an enormous white poofy gown. Because he had a baby the whole time and realized he wasn't going to be able to keep lying about it. Oh, and also he thought my mom was hot and it was weird for him.
He sprung this all on me directly after handing me my birthday gift, so it was like a 1-2 combo. Buddy hit me with the ol' 2 piece and a biscuit.
It sucked, and it absolutely caught me off guard - but his gift was a Pearberry set from bath and body works, which was like gold to a 15 year-old in the 90's. So it all worked out.
Recently, a Reddit thread about unexpected (though maybe not as crappy?) birthday gifts popped up. The responses made me feel less alone in sucksville, but also kind of restored my faith in the birthday fairies.
My girlfriend and I started dating freshman year of college and neither of us live in the state we go to school in. Over the summer we went home and did long distance for the three months. My birthday is in the summer and she kept telling me she was gonna send gifts she got for me and kept asking questions like "when does mail usually get to your house?"
She also made up this story about how the kids she babysat liked to take her phone and play with it. She casually mentioned that she was taking them to a pool the next day (day before my birthday).
Her mom texted me that day while I'm at work telling me that one of the kids dropped her phone in the pool. I felt so bad because I was told that she was a wreck about the whole situation because she would be out of communication for my birthday.
I get home from work and I'm sitting on the couch and my mom comes home and tells me the package that my girlfriend sent me was on the porch so I open the front door expecting a big cardboard box but instead I got a short, gorgeous lady who had flown so many miles to spend a week/my birthday with me
Don't Give Up
My husband and I were trying to have a baby, and not having success. For my 34th birthday my mom sent me a sleep giraffe for my future baby nursery. Turns out it was the last birthday gift I would get from her, she died 10 months after that birthday in 2016. I found out I was pregnant in early 2017, and never got to share that news with her. I remember being annoyed when I opened the box, but now I realize it was just a sweet sentiment from her telling me not to give up. After she passed, going through her things, I found a congratulations card meant for me in the event I had a baby, a card she never got to send.
I look at that sleep giraffe every day, it's the first thing I see every morning when I wake up, and she tells me every morning "don't give up."
A Late Meeting
A few days before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) wife told me she had a meeting in the city and would be home late - but she actually drove to the airport and picked up my best friend who had secretly flown in from out of state to surprise me.
The next day she took us to a spot a few hours away where we spent my birthday weekend with a bunch of my other friends. One of the best weekends of my life!
My 13th birthday I got the surprise that our truck broke down.
I lucked out and was able to ride home with the football team. We lived on a farm 13miles out of town. I did all the chores the next two days while my parents stayed in town "working on it." When they finally get home, my birthday was never mentioned. I never got cake or presents. They completely forgot about it. Sucky thing was we were really poor. I looked forward to my birthday because that and Christmas was when I'd get new clothes.
Killed me ever caring about birthdays. Which is sad since my wife really tries to spoil me. I have to put on my fake happy face and act like it's a big deal.
Not even joking, in fourth grade my friend gave me a 3 hour couples massage coupon.
Lost And FoundGiphy
I have an old silver watch that a nun gave me when I was in my teens. I would visit her in the nursing home when I was doing my required service hours for school. She was so sweet and I always looked forward to seeing her every day. My senior year she passed away, but gave me her watch before she did. I wore that watch every day until finally it stopped working.
A couple years after I moved in with my now fiance I accidentally lost it and was really upset for a long time because of that.
For my birthday last year I told my fiance that I didn't want him to spend any money on me so we can save for our wedding. That morning he handed me a small box. Inside was the watch, which he found at the bottom of a box in the basement, and he had cleaned it and fixed it. I still wear that watch everyday and that was honestly the best gift I'd ever received.
A few years ago my siblings and I hosted a 70th birthday party for my dad on my birthday. My birthday is in July, his in February. We had him fooled into thinking the surprise party was for me and he was shocked when he walked in and realized it was his party. Half the fun was watching him almost spoil the surprise about a half a dozen times.
Fast forward to yesterday, I get a package in the mail with a super cozy sweatshirt and note from dad saying is was a birthday gift for me on his birthday. Included in the note, he stated, "I couldn't think of better person I would want to swap birthday's with." I'm not gonna lie, the note was the real gift.
My brother was riding my bike the previous day, and left it at the end of out driveway apparently.
So for my birthday he got me a stolen bike.
My mom's friend told me to not be upset because "we'll just get you another one" but I have never owned a bike since. Her parents had a lot of money, and always bailed her out, so she couldn't relate that not everyone would get bailed out all the time. I haven't had a bike since.
A cousin thought that it was hilarious to get me a 12 pack of condoms at my early 20s, in front of the entire family.
I wanted to die.
Bagels And Love
A Bag of Bagels.
I was at university (UK) and I had been wished happy birthday by my family and a small number of friends (read housemates) but hadn't gotten any gifts, considering I didn't have many good friends at uni and my Family live almost 6 hours up north from me, I wasn't really expecting anything in the form of gifts.
I decided on a whim that I would join up with a society I'm part of for a couple drinks at the local Spoons, but didn't tell anyone and just met em there. When I got there one guy saw me and called me over and gave me the bagels and said that they were really glad I came along cos they weren't sure if I was gonna.
Before he gave me these I had had like 5 conversations with this guy and barely knew him, but he went out of his way to learn my birthday and grab me a bag of bagels knowing it's one of my favourite foods.
Long story short we've now been dating for just under a year.
My cousin gave me electric ear/nose hair clippers. She had apparently just had a first date with a guy and he had really long nose hair and it bothered her so she thought it would be a good gift for me (I don't think she was implying that I had long nose hair, just that it was something I should handle).
My family one time just gave me Snoopy clothes,I don't know why, since I never mentioned Snoopy at that time. And I got a lot of them. Weird, but they're still good.
For my birthday, I was visiting my great aunt in California, my cousins were visiting with us as well. I was so happy, I love these cousins and they are so awesome. We were talking about their plans after they finish their visit, and they said something about ComicCon in San Diego. I told them I would love to go, but I don't think I'd ever go because I live on the east coast and don't have money (college student at the time).
They offered to take me and bought me a ticket! I was so in shock I told them they didn't have to do that and they said 'Its a birthday present.' I was not expecting that and I had so much fun there with them. I was so happy that they loved me so much to take me. I didn't tell them they had to, they offered to and I first felt bad because they had to spend more money on my ticket.
She's Totally Winning
A few years ago my then girlfriend, now wife bought me a PS3 and about fifteen games. Very unexpected, and very appreciated. And last year she bought me tickets to see Train and the Goo Goo Dolls, which was awesome for me (and taking one for the team for her; she's not exactly into either band). Worth noting that she has the same birthday as me, just a year younger; I have yet to give her anything as cool, though not for lack of trying.
A container of ice cream from a fancy ice cream shop a 4hr drive from where I live. Was a coldish soup by the time it got to me 😂 IDK WHY
Not birthday, but one Christmas my mum got me airpods out of the blue. I didn't even ask for them or think about asking for them. Turns out it was the best thing I've ever got and I'm obsessed and they literally don't leave my ears lol.
Back To The Future
I'm a huge Back to the Future (BTTF) fan. I also grew up playing old school video game consoles like the Genesis and Super Nintendo. And as an adult I got back into retro games.
Now when it came to Back to the Future video games back in the day, they never got it right. From the horrible NES games to the horrible Genesis BTTF Part III game to the god awful Universal Theme Park simulator or whatever it was that was on the GameCube. It wasn't until 2010's Back to the Future game from Telltale Games that we finally got a great BTTF game.
But there was one BTTF game from the '90s that actually was good that I didn't know about for a very long time. In Japan they released "Super Back to the Future Part II" for the Super Famicom. It was only released in Japan and I live in the US, so I never heard about it. When I did I watched gameplay footage on YouTube and thought it looked great. But I had no way to play it, so I didn't even try to look for a copy.
Then, a few years ago, my birthday rolled around. My brother came around to my house to hang out and he brought a gift for me. I unwrapped it and there it was: A modified copy of "Super Back to the Future Part II" that worked on US Super Nintendos. And it was in English, too!
I don't know where or how he got it, but, man, I did not expect it and it remains one of my most treasured gifts because he got me something that really rings true to the type of person I am. He knows me extremely well and he used that knowledge to get me something that he knew I would love.
When I was in my last year of high school I really hated both my literature class and the teacher who taught it. I often complained (in a joking manner) to my dad about how much I just wanted to straight up destroy my notebook once I graduated. A couple months after I finished (on my birthday) he took me to a shooting range to teach me how to use my mom's pistol (no big deal, he is a retired firearm instructor and it was something we had previously discussed).
After practicing for a while he went to retrieve something from the car: my notebook. Needless to say, I got the chance to tear it apart just like I always wanted to. The fact that he remembered something so trivial and turned it into an awesome yet unconventional gift made it really meaningful (and fun!).
Three years ago someone at work gave me a cupcake for my birthday. I was the first time in 35 years that I've gotten anything other than a generic card or a facebook message for my birthday. I took the day off and went home and cried.
Getting gifts is supposed to be a fun celebration of the occasion - but we all know that one person who uses gifting as an opportunity to air their beefs.
In the movies it's someone like the catty mother-in-law, but here in the real world this sort of pettiness can come from literally anywhere.
Reddit user itsthedreamteam asked:
Getting gifts is supposed to be a fun celebration of the occasion - but we all know that one person who uses gifting as an opportunity to air their beefs.
In the movies it's someone like the catty mother-in-law, but here in the real world this sort of pettiness can come from literally anywhere.
Reddit user itsthedreamteam asked:
Some people take these insults with a grain of salt, or brush them off as being the other persons issue. But for others, these gifts really hit on insecurities and soft spots and so they found them really hurtful.
How people handle getting awful gifts varies, but one thing is pretty consistent - these gift givers are flagrant petty little monsters. So if you've got one in your life, take comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Here are some of the most insulting gifts people have gotten from their own personal monsters.
"Chubbier Than That"
My mom always buys me clothes, more specifically shirts from target or goodwill, for every gift, even though:
a) I tell her I have too many clothes, I've been trying to get rid of clothes, I don't want or need anymore clothes
b) she always buys me sizes XL and up even though I'm a comfortable S/M, and then when I tell her it's too big, she always says, shocked, "I thought it would fit" , and occasionally even add that she thought I was "chubbier than that"
I have alopecia, which is when your hair falls out in random patches on your body. It got to the point that I had to shave my hair because I had bald spots on the top of my head. Having a bald head as a little girl was tough. I opted out of wearing hats or a bandanna because I felt dumb covering it up when everyone could already tell I was bald.
My grandma though would always force me to wear hats when I came over to her house. She would ALWAYS say stuff like "Little girls aren't supposed to look like that, cover up." It hurt but I ignored it and put the hats on, I was super quiet as a kid and didn't make a fuss.
For my birthday my grandma bought me 3 different kinds of hats. I remember sitting there wanting to cry the whole time after opening her gift but I just sat there quiet. Honestly, those 3 hats ruined my entire 9th birthday, I felt so ugly.
A Decade Of ChickensGiphy
When I was in high school my mom got me a shirt that made fun of my ADD. It referenced chickens. There's this common joke that goes something like "People say I have ADD, but they just don't under- OH LOOK A CHICKEN!"
She then proceeded to buy chicken related things for the next few years and to this day points out anything related to chickens like it's some kind of inside joke.
It didn't really bother me at first but after nearly a decade now it honestly hurts my feelings.
When I hadn't lost all my baby weight 6 months after child birth, my mother- in -law gave me a plastic pig magnet for the refrigerator. It oinked every time you opened the door.
My dad's third wife got me a book about manners. I used it to level her coffee table the same day. She re gifted it to me at least 5 other times, I found a way to put it back in her house every time.
Dark Body Hair
My divorced parents, independently, with no contact with each other, gave me a No-No (a hair removal device) and an offer for laser hair removal... without ever talking to me about my body hair before... and in front of everybody. 😐
I've been made fun of for my dark body hair all my life or dealt with people pointing out that I've 'missed a spot', so it especially was embarrassing when I never asked for either of those things.
Be A "Better" Parent
My very religious ex mother in law gave me a book on better parenting through Christ.
A) I'm not at all religious and she knew it
B) It's rude and presumptuous to give someone a book on how to be a "better" parent.
How They Perceive Me
Size 4XL pants from my aunt. As a 170-pound teenage girl this crushed my spirit. I was only a size large but thought this was how they perceive how big I was...
She Meant Well
7 year old me was super in love with foxes. I made little clay models of fox families, had soft toys, drew pictures, etc.
My Yia Yia (grandma), knowing this, gave me a fox fur coat. It even had little fox tails hanging off it. Gracious little me thanked her with a trembling lip, then went home and sobbed. I remember hugging it as if I could bring it back to life but also being revolted by it. I handed it to mum and told her to burn it. Cried over that for days.
Yia Yia meant well, but man did the intention get corrupted somewhere. She bought me a plush toy fennec fox years later and kinda made up for it.
Embarrass And InsultGiphy
My mom gave me an electronic toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash for my birthday - right in front of my long term girlfriend and family... knowing full well I'm self conscious about my teeth and I already own all those things.
Later, when I very politely asked her to, in the future, do things like that privately she cried about how hard it was for to do that. How hard it was for her to embarrass and insult me on my birthday.
I'm thinking of getting her a self help book entitled "Living with old age" next year.
Towels. While the gift itself doesn't sound bad the reasoning behind it was incredibly insulting. I was 17 years old at the time and a senior in high school. It was a Christmas gift from my step-mother. She gave me a set of towels and told me I would need them when I moved out at 18. The kicker was she gave her son (my step brother) a brand new computer for Christmas. This was in 1992 when personal computers started around $4000.
I was pretty salty about it.
When I graduated college, my parents gave me a card to congratulate me. Inside the envelope, my never-showed-any-real-interest-in-my-life father had included a fridge magnet (and this was not intended to be a joke)... the fridge magnet said:
"Life doesn't come with an instruction book, that's why we have fathers"
This was given to me shortly after he had stormed out of my graduation ceremony early, because apparently he 'doesn't have time for this'.
I had/still have no words for that 'gift'.
Women's clothes and other things, because I'm a trans man and they knew it.
I am too. I've gotten perfume, make up/feminine body washes and stuff, and clothes. I give them to my sister and end up with nothing or not much.
I'm Not Fat
My Gramma once gave me cut out magazine articles about losing weight when I was 14 or 15... I wasn't fat. Also, Gramma, doctors don't prescribe amphetamines anymore! (Or they didn't 25 years ago, maybe they do now, I don't know because I'M NOT FAT!)
I started working evenings so my husband started having to make dinners. My MIL got me a magnet for the fridge that said "I'm too pretty to cook"
It's like cooking dinner is the only way a woman could possibly contribute to a household. And under no circumstances should this task fall on a man. Funny thing is my husband discovered that he truly loves cooking, it's not a chore but a passion.
The magnet was meant to be a jab. She has mastered the art of passive aggressiveness. I get lotions for Christmas that I'm allergic to. Unless I happen to also be pregnant. If I'm pregnant I get lotions I'm not allergic to. Mother's day cards that are simply signed " I know you try". Yeah, she can't stand me.
A book on how to apply makeup, and the best way to get dressed to look pretty, I'm not the best looking girl, and I got it from my mom and grandma, as like, a helpful book, and I felt insulted.
Father who left when my mom got pregnant sent me $10 and a card that said happy 15th birthday for my 16th. I was trying to save cash for a car so I took it, but now that I'm a father I literally can't imagine doing such a thing to my kids.
Christmas In August
I received a CD that has children singing revamped Christmas songs where they change the lyrics. First of all, I hate the sound of children singing. Secondly, Christmas music sucks and everyone knows it. Finally, re-vamped songs where the lyrics have been changed are unartistic, unintelligent pieces of shit. Weird Al Yankovic is a great example of this.
My aunt bought this for me for my birthday. My birthday is in August. I still don't talk to her at family gatherings.
A bible, because I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm not religious but, still, I felt like it was a way of telling me that I wasn't actually depressed, I just needed to pray.
I was raised by Christian parents and stepparent, I used to pray but I still got worse. Not blaming anyone, I just felt as if it didn't work.
This may seem dumb, but it kinda hurt me. So my mom had gotten me this book 2 years ago for/by "Geeky Girls" thinking it was a graphic novel kind of story. She chose that because I can't read well (its true, i struggle). She was sort of right, but I wasn't all that interested in the book - but that's not why it was insulting.
Last year leading up to Christmas, I was talking non-stop about Homestuck and was really hoping I'd get something relating to it. Nope.
Instead, my mom got me the exact same book from the year before. Really hurt.
I have a self-made millionaire uncle who decided to give me free samples from his company as both my birthday and Christmas present since I was born close to the 25th of December. His company sells ingredients to bakeries like Nabisco, so what I got was dried cranberries and chocolate chips, and a shitty golfing shirt with his company's name on it. The same shirts he gave out at his last convention appearance.
Someone To Love You
After I lost a bunch of weight, my grandmother sent me a card saying how I was pretty now "since you lost all that weight" and how I'd be able to find someone to love me. She also ended the card with "Don't eat too much again!" I was turning 17. It was a birthday card.
Apparently, Happy Birthday wasn't enough.
A Shaming Moment
When I was a teen I grew really tall real fast, I outgrew my shirts and they became belly shirts. Being 12 I didn't have any money so my mom started commenting on how much I like to show my stomach off. I told her I just don't have any clothes that fit. She goes and buys large size sweaters and such, everything is too big. "Now you don't have to dress slutty."
That logic never made sense to me. Everything I have is because you gave it to me. I hated that Christmas because when you're 12 -15, you're really insecure about everything and I hate that my mom turned a happy holiday into a shaming moment. She also gifted me a hairbrush when I told her mine broke 2 months prior.
She waited two months to replace an essential item so she could pass it off as a present. I had dreads in my hair that needed to be cut out because I wasn't able to brush my naturally curly hair. My mom is not very thoughtful. But I know she didn't mean to be so cruel.
Dirty And Fat
Last Christmas, my boyfriends family gave me an unwrapped bar of soap and the offer of a gym membership...
That's Not My Name
One relative always forgot how my name was spelled and bought me a misspelled personalized gift almost every single year.
When I was 15 and chubbier than my sister and mother (I was a size 8 compared to their 00 and 2) my grandma gave me a skirt she said she was sure would fit me. It did ... but it also fit my sister and my mom at the same time, and I'm sure if my dad was home, he could've stepped into it as well.
I took a year off of school after I graduated high school to stay home and make extra money, my parents bought me pots, pans, and Tupperware, and then said "We forgot you weren't going to school, but at least we can use them."
I was 8 years old hanging out in San Francisco with my mom and aunt. We stumble upon a toy store and my aunt gets excited and tells me to wait outside while she buys me something. This got me excited. What was she going to get me? Lego? Something that flies? Maybe another train for my Brio set?
She comes out and hands me a little stuffed Curious George toy, and I had never once been into Curious George. I knew about it, but I never expressed interest in it. My aunt on the other hand LOVED Curious George, and already had a bunch of the franchise's stuff at her place, and I never paid much attention to any of it. I take the doll and look at it, my 8 year old face unable to contain the disappointment. After tumbling it in my hands for a few seconds, she snatches it away from me and says, "Fine, if you don't like it, I'll take it!" Which of course makes my juvenile brain want it back and also to not upset her, but she kept it anyways.
Not so much an insulting gift, just an insulting experience from an Aunt who knew what I liked, but decided to get me a toy of something she liked instead.
I Didn't Want To
My college boyfriend's mother got me nothing for Christmas. I had been with him for 3 1/2 years, bought everyone in the family a couple gifts, and I was staying at their house for our entire winter break. I didn't bring it up. I already knew she didn't particularly care for me.
I heard my boyfriend ask her why there weren't any gifts for me and she flat out said "I didn't want to."