Parents lie to their kids constantly - whether it's a purposefully malicious lie or "just messing around" it's a think that happens in almost every family.
Regular readers will know my family had me convinced that I was the "Moon Princess" until I was well older than I'd like to admit. They told me that the moon followed me around because it loved me, so I spent most of my childhood talking to the moon reassuringly, like it was my space-puppy.
I never stopped to think about perspective or celestial distance or the fact that it meant the moon followed everyone. My family never fessed up to the truth. It took a blindsiding realization in sixth grade to crush me and my poor moon-puppy.
I not-so-secretly still talk to the moon and I'm almost 40.
Reddit user lphillips5 asked:
What's something completely false that your parents told you as a child?
One Million Drops
My dad told me that the windshield wipers would count the raindrops on the windshield and when it reached 1 million then they would wipe the rain away. If it was raining harder they went faster because it reached 1 million faster.
- finaldi
The Truth Comes To Light
"TURN OFF THE LIGHTS IN THE BACK SEAT BEFORE WE GET PULLED OVER!"
Wait that's a lie?
- Sp00py_g
My dad always told me this too! It wasn't until a few months ago that my sister and I found out this wasn't true.
My dad would always say this. Funny enough, now that I can drive I can see that I can't look out the rear view mirror properly with the light on, he could have just said that and young me would've went "Oh, ok".
Considering how annoying/difficult it is to drive with the interior lights on, I was surprised when I found out it wasn't outright illegal.
Having a light on means you can't see out your rear view mirror, and it can lessen visibility out your windows. It may not be specifically against the law. But it does fall under other laws like distracted/dangerous driving. I'm sick of how everyone just doesn't question the statement that it's not illegal.
- Zendei
Moo
Giphy
That my mum, who worked in the chilled department of a supermarket, would have to milk the cows at the back of the shop and bottle the milk before taking it to the shop floor. There aren't even any fields at the back of the shop.
Save For Something Special
Birthday and Christmas were only a month apart so I would tend to get some money instead of presents from family and relatives around that time of year. My parents would always tell me I had to learn how to save my money, so I was never really allowed to use it, just save it for something "special".
Usually my money would go missing and I couldn't find where it was, only to find out my father, who smoked a pack a day, took it to buy cigarettes, or also would use it for drinking money. Frustrated by this, me and my brother asked our parents if we could get a bank account, so instead of leaving our money laying around, we would deposit it somewhere where it would be safe and would be able to be saved for a long period of time.
After saving after a year or two, we wanted to get either a new game console or game, and adding up what we knew we had, we determined that together we had enough. We go to the bank.
I had a balance of $0, my brother had a balance of $-10 (yes negative). Appears since parents signed us up for the account, and cause we were children, they had full access to our account. When we confronted our parents about it we got the whole, "You're the child, we're the adult" speech or, "You take money from us everyday just by raising you".
The only lesson we learned was if you save your money you will never get to use it. So we pretty much stopped saving our gift money and tried to spend it asap.
Oranges For Scurvy
I read Treasure Island and asked my older sister what scurvy was. She lied and said it's when pirates and sailors spend too long at sea with no women and become gay. I didn't question it because I was like 10 and apparently dumb.
Then we were watching a TV show about the colonies and how scurvy was rampant and killing people. I was really confused at how scurvy could kill and even more confused when my mom said oranges prevent scurvy.
Suffocated Angel
Mom and I moved in with my (now) dad, I was around 4 years old. Christmas rolls around, he had this light up skeleton tree topper in lieu of an angel. He takes it out of the box, I asked why it was it was a skeleton. He got this horrified, shocked look on his face. "Oh no! We must have forgot to poke holes in the box last year!"
I thought my angel suffocated and we were putting her dead body on the Christmas tree. Cried for hours.
- adawgie
The Japanese Toys
Not a single, but a string of lies.
Lived with the family in Japan for a year at the end of the 80's. Time comes to go back to the home country, and the number of toys I amassed as a kid in Japan was not small. They were also very, very cool toys, them being from Japan and all.
Parents promise we will take them all with us home, all the while putting them in strange big black bags (for garbage?). But since air freight is so expensive, they said, we will simply put them on a ship in order to save some money. There will be home before I know it, they said, but only after we arrive, since ships are much slower than planes.
Got home, and could not stop asking them: when will the toys arrive‽ I want to share them with my new classmates, they were very cool! After a few months of constant nagging, they sit me down and say they have to tell me something.
Proceed to explain that, unfortunately, the ship sank on the way, along with all my toys on it. I was so miserable, and retold the story to all friends, for a couple of years.
Many years later, during a family dinner, I said: do you remember when all my toys from Japan sank? It was so sad and unfortunate! They explained it was a lie all along, and that, yes, those were indeed garbage bags.
Furtles
When I was about 6 years old, my dad convinced me that turtles grow fur under their shells. Fast forward to the 8th grade, I'm in my U.S history class and the topic of turtles comes up, and I explain to my teacher that turtles have fur, he then proceeds to turn on the projector and Google "do turtles have fur" in front of the whole class. They don't... never been so embarrassed in my life. I told my dad this story a couple months ago (I'm 17 now), and he still laughs uncontrollably about it whenever I mention it.
God's Flash Photography
I was scared of lightning. Then my dad told me it's just God taking pictures of me, so don't be scared. So I used to run to a window whenever there's a thunderstorm and pose for my picture.
The McHack
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My mother had a few McDonald's sacks hidden since I was obsessed with them and never wanted to eat anything but McDonald's.
Every day, before my father would be back from work, she would put what she cooked into the sacks and would place it outside the door for my father to pick up. He would walk in the door pretending he brought McDonald's home. I was fooled every time, man. How would I know McDonalds had no soup?
- daelyon
Happy New Year
"HAPPY NEW YEAR ITS 12 WOW YOU STAYED UP"
It was 9. They pulled this every year until I was like... 12 ... They turned the clocks back and put on an east coast channel. No wonder I always watched the ball drop in NYC on TV... Whilst living on the west coast of Canada hmmm.
Crocodiles
That there were crocodiles in the boarded over pond at the bottom of the garden, so I'd stay off the somewhat rotten planks that could break. Instead I ended up dropping all sorts of things in because I thought they might be hungry.
Instant Death
My mother had always told me that since I had asthma, smoking would kill me right away if I tried it. It did work, never smoked anything to this day.
Unrolling The Sidewalks
My great aunt's parents had her believing that sidewalks were only out during the daytime, and if you stayed up late enough or got up early enough you could see the workmen rolling or unrolling the sidewalks.
Crappy Sex Ed
So when I was like 5 I started getting horny sometimes and I was so confused I asked my mom why and she told me there was a mouse stuck in my vagina.
- Ember_tp
Whistling Muscles
That bread crust could make you whistle. I was like heck, if carrots could help my eyes (they don't), and milk could help my bones, why couldn't bread crust help my whistling muscles? So I suffered through many a sandwich crust hoping to finally be able to whistle. It wasn't until junior year of high school as my mind was wondering on the bus did I sit up and have a holy crap my life is a lie moment.
- hrhkatya
Not Normal
Hate to make this depressing but my parents told me that it's normal for couples to fight (They fought regularly). I even stayed in a nasty relationship because I thought that it was normal to fight so often. I didn't realize that it was wrong til years later in high school. I was talking to my English teacher about some parental issues going on and on way or another I had mentioned what my parents told me. She then said, "So, they lied to you?", and the reality hit me. My parents divorced not to long after.
Booger Eating
My parents told me that if I ate my boogers my penis would shrivel up and flake away.
Islamophobic Dogs
That dogs are attracted to the headscarf, and automatically will chase you. I am big animal lover and my mom hated the fact I pet stray dogs. So for the majority of my childhood I thought dogs were Islamophobic.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...