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Gullible Adults Share The Dumbest Things They Believed As Children

As we mature and see and learn more of the world around us, we lose our childish understanding of how the universe works. When we look back on the things we used to believe, sometimes it can be a bit embarrassing.

Reddit user xXPlexalXx asked "What is the dumbest thing that you believed as a child?"

Here are people's confessions.

Owning It

If you farted you had to raise your hand. Damn you dad, i did that for far too long.

World Savings Day

We have the "Weltspartag" (World Savings Day) in Germany. As a kid you bring your collected money to the bank.

As a young kid I thought when you take your coins to the bank you are then able as an adult to freely take money from there to live. Made sense when your parents always got "free" money out of a machine there.

I realized it was not the case some years later. Thankfully I never talked to someone about it.

Climate Control

I used to think clouds were made by factories, and that if we would close all factories it would never rain or be cloudy again.

Professionals

When I was a kid, I thought a prostitute was a female robber.

I thought that was cool. My friends and I did too! We all wanted to be prostitutes when we played COPS AND PROSTITUTES.

Not From Potter?

That there are people trapped in paintings and I would wave at them so they know someone knew about it. Thank you Witches movie for this.

Blame Disney

That you grew up, got a job, got married, had kids and lived happily ever after.

Big Boom Theory

I believed the world wars were at the beginning of time.

We lived in the Marshall Islands when I was really young and at some point I viewed footage from a WW2 battle fought on the island and I construed that as the world being created. Don't ask me why.

Ball Control

I unironically thought that pee was stored in the testicles.

Jamping Jack Flash

I thought that past tense of "jump" was, not "jumped", but "jamp". It made sense in my little brain - ya know, run/ran, swim/swam... jump/jamp. I said it until I was 14 before somebody corrected me. Yes, English is my first language.

Pledge

I use to think the Pledge of Allegiance said " for witches stand""instead of for "which it stands. "

I used to think it was invisible instead of indivisible.

Peace & Quiet

I was never allowed to watch soap operas growing up but my parents were always a little vague on the precise reason why, beyond saying that it would rot my brain. In my childish head, I assumed they were forbidden because they must be sinister, violent or scary in some way. Even the silly, tame daytime soaps like Neighbours and stuff like that were off limits.

Years later, when I was in my late 20s, I asked my mum about it and she was like "Oh really? I can't remember that. I must have just wanted you out of the room so I could watch my soaps in peace."

Moo

For some reason in kindergarten we ate grass at one point. Like, pulled it out of the ground and ate it.

One day my best friend came crying and said that his dad told him we would become cows if we kept eating grass.

No Streaming Either

When my parents first got cable when I was a little kid in the early 80's, I was so excited. Then the day finally came and when it was installed, I triumphantly told my parents that the first film I wanted to watch was Empire Strikes Back, to which my mother told me that that film was not on HBO or any of the other movie channels that month, and that's when it dawned on me that "cable TV" didn't mean you can just watch any movie ever made that you want to see, there were only certain films that each channel showed each month. It was 1981 and little kid me thought cable was streaming on-demand, when that wasn't a thing yet.

Reality Check

I could be anything I wanted when I grew up.

Grayscale

I thought everything in the "olden days" was in monochrome because of black and white movies and photos.

Birds & Wedding Bells

That the act of marriage was what caused babies to be born i.e. two people marry, they get a kid in a year. After that, drop rate is random.

Berber Probably

I used to think a carpenter made carpets, I always thought it was a weird job for Jesus to have, considering he lived in the middle east and that it would get covered in sand.

Growth Spurt

I mistakenly swallowed orange seeds once. My cousins made me believe that soon a plant will start to grow in my body and the leaves will come out from nose and ears and mouth. It was damn scary . They told me it's irreversible.

Unplanned

That adults knew what they were doing and there was a plan of sorts in place.

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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