Everyday we live, is another day we've survived, and death isn't the only thing we frequently sidestep.
I have lost track of the amount of times my heart has almost gotten me into trouble.
If I had been able to be with the people I thought I wanted in the past, I'd be in a mental ward right about now.
Dodging a bullet doesn't even begin to cover it.
Redditor Not-an-Ocelot wanted to hear about the times that have made people give some extra thanks by asking:
"What's the biggest bullet you've ever dodged?"
Life is a field of landmines and we're just whimsically shuffling along. We have to be really. There is no way to always be prepared for everything at every second.
That's why we should always do the simple part well... pay attention. Heed the red flags, throw down the white when necessary.
Allow some folks to explain.
Pay Attention
I was a teen driver not paying attention at an intersection at the crest of a hill with low visibility when the light turned green.
GiphyThe car behind me honked and just as I was about to go a truck barrelled through the red light on the perpendicular road at decidedly ludicrous speed. If I had been paying attention and gone when the light turned green, I very likely would have been T-boned to death. Closest call I've ever had.
A Passed Mandate
This one just materialized yesterday, actually.
About a year ago at my job I was offered to switch from my current team where I was established for a few years, had seniority, etc. for a new department that just started to kick it off, write processes, basically start from square 1.
A lot more work for the same amount of pay. I figured forget it and went.
Yesterday they announced that they just closed the physical HQ office for my old department, and everyone in that entire part of the company would have to either move to one of 14 random states (that we cant pick, its chosen basically by a roulette wheel for where you're going) to a local office, or they're going to be fired on June 22.
Thankfully since I'm part of the new department, I wasn't included in that mandate. Phew.
Too Many Idiots
I took my wife to an indoor shooting range in 2014. I had been at this range many times, and safety was always their top priority.
They made you sit through a safety video, take a quiz, and get a temporary certification before they allowed you onto the range.
Place got really busy and their safety policy became less stringent as time went on.
I noticed that the lane next to us had 3 people in it (already a violation).
Two big guys and one tiny woman probably her in 20's. They were handing her various firearms and laughing when she couldn't handle the recoil (big violation there, and incredibly irresponsible).
This girl was muzzle-sweeping everyone (another huge violation).
I got a bad feeling, told my wife to pack it up because we were leaving.
As soon as we started walking away, BANG, that girl had fired a round right where my wife was standing just a few seconds prior
I told the range officers that they needed to get in there and do something about those idiots, and that we weren't coming back
I have only been to a range a few times since that happened, and now I don't even go at all. Too many idiots.
buzz CRACK buzz...
I was out kayaking on a lake and several bullets whizzed by me. There was a distinct buzz CRACK buzz sound as it went by. I think some people were just out plinking in their back yard, adjacent to the lake, and didn't think a backstop was necessary.
This also happened to me a few weeks later when I was paddling on a small stream. Bullets whizzed by above the bank, just over my head.
I don't think anyone knew I was there either time. Regardless, when you go out and shoot stuff, make sure there's a backstop, ffs. Also, I don't know how big the bullets were, so I'm unsure which was the biggest bullet dodged.
Well that was a lot to digest and ponder. And also... I may need a Xanax.
But we can stay positive, everyone of those people lived to tell the tale.
Personally, I don't think there is a number high enough to count how many car accidents I and many others have avoided.
Thank you Jesus. Prayer seems to have gone a long way for these people.
Flight 103
I was booked on Pan Am flight 103 which went down over Locherbie Scotland. I didn't have a premonition or anything supernatural. I just decided to cancel my seat.
Didn't think anything of it until the plane went down and my mother had written down my flight plan and reminded me. This was back in the day when you could cancel without a penalty up to a couple of days in advance.
On any given day, we make decisions (for no concrete reason really, like... I just chose not to go that day) and we come to learn it was a good decision.
I try not to evaluate my decision because I don't want to affect my future decisions by second guessing or trying to 'work the odds'. This is only one example of times that I dodged a significant bullet. (I wrote a different post, but erased it before I hit save).
Zapped
I was subletting an apartment in college and got zapped by the electric stove.
Gave notice immediately and moved out with very clear reasons why I was moving out.
The building burnt a few weeks later.
GiphyKatrina
2005, my friend and I evacuated New Orleans 2 days before Hurricane Katrina and drove to Mississippi with the little money we had. We were trying to decided on where to stay for the night and it was between a mid range hotel or the really cheap motel.
Decided to spend a little more for the hotel. During the night the eye of the storm came through Mississippi and flattened the roof of the motel we decided against.
Delete Tinder
I matched with a guy on Tinder who played for the Atlanta Falcons.
He was really charming and seemed nice. He asked me to fly down to Atlantic City for Memorial Day weekend, said he would pay for everything (airfare, hotel, food, etc.) but I had never met him before and he refused to give me his phone number.
I was uncomfortable flying to meet a stranger so I told him no. Two weeks later he was on the news for kicking (and killing) his girlfriend's dog.
Life lesson #3005... try not to become an episode of Dateline NBC.
And being on local news isn't always fun either.
Granted disaster and horror is going to happen but let's do all the avoiding possible.
Being the one to walk away is always best—take it from experience.
A Yamaha Pancake
Physically? A bus. I grew up in Bermuda, and since it is such a small island cars are limited to one per family, and everyone drives mopeds. I was driving into town, and came up to a red light behind a bus.
As is tradition, I scooted around the bus to be in the front of the line of traffic. Literally 2 seconds later a second bus smashed into the back of the first bus at like 30 mph.
I would have been pancaked. Without question, 100% dead. I just sat on the side of the road for a bit and thought about my mortality.
My only other Bermuda bus based encounter was driving home from my first job in the rain. An oncoming bus in the opposite lane went through a massive puddle and sent what looked like a tidal wave of water right at me. It literally picked me and my little yamaha v 50 right up and swept us off the road onto some grass.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
My ex.
He got engaged right after me and proceeded to cheat on her the entire time until she broke up with him.
GiphyOh man, after reading all of that it's a wonder anyone lives to be a senior citizen and now we've got Covid.
Be careful out there my peeps.
Stay vigilant and wash your hands.
Just don't wash them in a shady gas station restroom in darkly lit areas.
A little red flag to think about.
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Mothers Explain How They'd Feel If The Father Asked For A Paternity Test
In every relationship, there are bound to be some tough conversations, like how to budget and deciding whether to move somewhere new.
But there are other conversations, like getting a paternity test or going through someone's phone, that potentially imply a lack of trust.
Redditor BlueSharker asked:
"Women, would you care if your husband wanted to do a quick, basic, cheap DNA test to make sure the kids are 100% his? And why?"
Healthy Relationship
"I love the wording of a 'quick basic cheap' test, like hey, it's no big deal, this is a totally normal quick little thing healthy strong couples do!"
"Like, Baby, it's no big deal. I just want to test the kids' DNA to make sure I can trust you."
- kaksereciklira
Feeling Insulted
"I just asked my wife this, and she said, 'I will rip your nads off and feed them to you if you want that d**n test.'"
"So yeah, they care."
- exportz
Holy Insinuation, Batman
"Asking for this test either means:"
"1. You think I cheated on you but don't want to actually accuse me directly of it and deal with the fallout of being wrong which is both cowardly and insulting and also didn't work."
"2. You have been spending time on unsavory red pill internet sites and are dumber and more gullible than I thought when I married you and I've now lost all respect for your critical thinking skills."
"3. You don't want to be married or be a father to our kids anymore and are looking or an excuse to leave. Perhaps you are yourself cheating, or you are hiding some other secret or opinion from me and have been for a while."
"None of these scenarios are good. I would 100% be rethinking the whole marriage at this point. What else are you going to blindside me with and when? Probably better to just leave on my own terms than wake up one day and find you gone and all the accounts drained."
- Fantastic_Poet4800
Lack of Trust
"I wouldn't be opposed to the actual request because I have nothing to hide."
"But the fact that he felt the need to ask 100% indicates his lack of trust in the marriage and that is the bigger issue that I would be seriously concerned about."
"That would generally be my same response to any hypothetical requests for my husband to look through my phone. Like superficially, I don't care. It's just memes and pics of our kids. But the inevitable longer form conversation that gets triggered by that is why is the trust gone."
- golemsheppard2
Quiet the Haters
"I’ve offered it to my boyfriend for our one and only child to shut up all the naysayers in his family who were telling him it wasn’t his."
"And he said my offering is even more suspicious than not offering."
"Which, I don't know how the f**k that makes any sense, but whatever dude. The kid is yours. Do it or don’t. I don't care."
- linkxlink
The Terrible Mother-in-Law
"My ex-husband’s mom was really weird about our firstborn not looking like him."
"He and I are very different in looks, where he’s black hair, and tan skin, and I’m strawberry blonde, and very fair."
"The son was born with brown hair and blue eyes."
"He tans a bit but definitely doesn’t look like his dad... because he looks like a darker-haired version of MY dad."
"The crazy s**t was, my ex was cheating on ME for most of the marriage and both kids are absolutely his because I don’t play stupid games."
- Dorkadoodle
Child Support Conspiracy
"My father tried telling everyone I wasn't his kid (I was conceived maybe a week or two before he got caught cheating on my mum)."
"My nan took one look at me and laughed in his face. She eventually convinced him to acknowledge me and pay his child support. I love my nan."
- maybebabyg
Going No Contact
"When my parents’ divorce started getting nasty, my father accused my mother of cheating, and that I was the result of it."
"He asked me over and over again to get a test and sure enough, I’m his biological son. He didn’t believe the result and kept asking me to do more tests."
"Among other reasons, I don’t speak to him anymore."
- Loopnova_
Taking the Estate
"I got my revenge on my dad's family who never believed I was his (my parents were together for 30 years but never married)."
"He passed away without signing his will. At his funeral, his sisters poked at my nose and pulled on my ears, questioning whether I was really their niece."
"So I got a posthumous paternity test done. The entire estate went to me and I didn’t give them a dime."
- qiwizzle
Empathetic Testing
"I would not care. My husband found out late in life that he has a different biological father due to DNA testing and it crushed him. I would understand that the test has more to do with that circumstance than his trust in me."
"That being said, even after going through everything with his dad, he never tested our kids, but I told him multiple times to go for it and I’d be totally fine!"
- CharacterLoquat6950
Accidental Discoveries
"One of my best friend's dads bought her and her two sisters Ancestry.com tests only for her older sister to get a 'Congrats! You have a half-sister!' email after my friend’s results were submitted."
"Obviously, she called her dad like 'What the f**k is this,' and he had them retest the results twice."
"He had to be the one to break the news to my friend. He absolutely had no clue before this happened, and he broke down crying and told her that she was still his daughter regardless."
"We were 24 at the time, and I genuinely can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to be either of them receiving that news."
"Her mom even tried to deny it at first before finally coming clean."
- ElysianReverie21
Grocery Store Antics
"'Here's a picture of my kid' … 'and here is the DNA test proving it!'
"'Can I leave now, officer? He just likes to scream kidnap for fun…'"
"Sigh. I love taking them to the grocery store with me."
- drewbreeeezy
Dad Jokes Galore
"I recently discovered that none of our three children are mine biologically."
"I feel so stupid, I should have known something was up when they all existed before I met my wife."
"All kidding aside, as a stepdad, I do find it genuinely tragic when dudes completely abandon kids and withdraw all love because it's not theirs, not their problem. I understand complex emotions surrounding the marital betrayal, but I can't imagine just peacing out on a kid whose fault it categorically isn't."
- Overthinks_Questions
What's the Point?
"Our kid looks so similar to my husband that her face unlocks his phone."
"Sure, do the test."
- noopibean
Not the Mother
"As a child, I overheard my Mom say to my Dad, referring to me: 'She is nothing like me. Are you sure you didn't cheat on me?'"
"I really never had much in common with my Mom, and at that age, I didn't know anything about how babies are made, so I thought she was serious and lived with that doubt for a few years."
- MsMaggieMcGill
While some people were able to make jokes or could otherwise point out why paternity testing had been helpful in their own lives, most were concerned about the lack of trust asking for a test implied.
Even in our progressive society, there are still far too many people with antiquated, mostly ludicrous, opinions of what it is to be a woman.
These are primarily from men in powerful positions.
However, some women also tend to look down on those who believe they are giving their gender a bad name.
This ignorant behavior is most commonly known as "toxic femininity".
"What are examples of toxic femininity?"
Caring About Your Image More Than Other People
"Girls who only support other girls when it’s convenient for their image."- flowerchild_3
Worry About Your Own Children, Not Other Moms
"Moms bullying other moms."- LollipopDreamscape
Men Are Parents Too...
"Dad of a 5 year old girl here."
"When my daughter was a couple of months old my wife discovered a nearby play group and was planning on taking her there for a session."
"I decided to take her myself as it landed on one of my days off and I wanted to spend some real time with my little girl and my wife deserved a break."
"The play group is taking place in a large community hall and there's quite a few people there with kids ranging from newborns to around 4 or 5."
"However I quickly noticed that out of about 30ish parents I'm the only man there and everyone stares at me."
"I think nothing of it and proceed to the soft play section for the babies to play with my daughter."
"Not 10 minutes pass however and I notice mums and even nans pretending not to stare at me and talk under their breath."
"At first I thought I was being paranoid because I was nervous being the only dude there but then I noticed it was several groups doing it.'
'I then overheard one of the mums in the baby section with us say to her friend/sister/who cares that I must be dodgy or on the offenders register."
'Yes."
"THAT register.'
"All because I happened to be the only dad there.'
"I picked my daughter up, told the women where she could stuff her opinions and promptly left."
'I told my wife what had happened and then she went back by herself and had a somewhat heated exchange with the organisers."
"Sometimes I think I married a dragon because she returned with a face so red with rage you'd think she just breathed fire."
"Play group mums can be sexist as hell."- LostMercenary99
Never Pass Judgement Without Knowing The Details
"Mothers shaming C-Section moms saying they didn’t give birth because the child was surgically removed."- Sufficient-Voice-210
"My wife could not produce enough milk for our children."
"When our first was born she tried and tried."
"I woke up in the middle of the night to her crying."
"She felt like she was a horrible mom to even bring up formula."
"There is so much pressure on moms, and it is incredibly stupid."
"Our kids are very well adjusted and were on formula the entire time.'
"I tell anyone who is expecting their first that the only 'right' way is the 'right way for that child'.”
"Damn everyone else’s opinions; do what is best for your family; not the mommy bloggers."
"My oldest is 10 years old and my wife is at peace with it; she worked through her guilt, which I totally agree she should not have any guilt: she is an excellent mother."
"The statistics on breastfed vs. bottle fed have other correlations which I don’t want to take the time to defend, anyone can read the studies, but adding other factors like home life and atomic households, the delta between the two are not as big as the breastfeeding fanatics point out."
"Lastly, anecdotally and take this as a a claim from a dad.'
"My kids are healthy and hyper-intelligent."
"My oldest has been consistently tested through school as top 2% composite intelligence, and she is thriving in advanced classes."
"I say this because there are people who say that IQ is impacted by breastfeeding."
"It just isn’t true, my children thrive, they are healthy and they know they are loved."- Lokitusaborg
If You Can't Take The Heat...
"Being verbally abusive and then playing victim the second the other person argues back or raises their voice."- No-Bumblebee4615
A "Real Woman" Would Probably Never Say This...
"Pulling the 'if you're a real man' card whenever they need something."- Reddit
Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A Parent
"Mothers telling women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love."- DontShowMomMemes
No Man Is Worth The Trouble
"Women who throw other women under the bus for a man, or the attention of a man etc."- KekeSmall
Happily Ever After Has Many Different Meanings
"That single women should be sad."- hallelujasuzanne
Being Self-Serving Ultimately Serves No One
"Women that only want traditional values when it benefits them."- SnooCakes653
Just because someone, no matter their gender, lives their life differently than you do doesn't mean they are deserving of your judgment.
Especially if they are happy with the life they are living, and aren't bringing harm to anyone else.
Anyone believing others aren't fitting their expectations of what it is to be a "real woman" or a "real man" might want to stop and re-examine their standards.
No matter how old we get, we still find ourselves keeping up with the latest trends.
Binging the show everyone's talking about, downloading the newest app, and partaking in the latest social media craze, all in an effort to appear cool to our friends and colleagues.
Of course, not all of these trends are "cool" to us.
In fact, sometimes we grudgingly partake in these trends, no matter how idiotic they seem to us.
While others have no concerns about being cool, and won't even think about joining in with everyone else, choosing instead to gleefully look down on them.
"What's something extremely popular but you just can't give a f*ck about it?"
What Exactly Are They Trying To Influence?
"Influencers."
"They have a different vibe than I have/aspire to have, different ways of expressing themselves, different values, different beauty standards, etc."- smieklinsh
"So-called influencers."
'My personal opinion."
"If you like them, cool."
'No harm done."- queen_tabby
"Elon Musk.'
"Isn't aren’t part of my life, so why should I take time from my life to think about the crap they’re doing?"- attention21
Elon Musk Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyIsn't It Good News Either Way?
"Gender reveal parties."- Back2Bach
Just Another Distraction
"TikTok never got into it."- thneakythnake660
How Many Strangers Are Looking At Your Pictures?
"Followers on social media."- Single_Goat3138
Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy"Figure" Heads being the operative word
"The Royal Family."- Natasha_JB
Comfort Over Quality
"Sneakers."
"Like, I’ll indulge and buy a pair I think are really cool."
"But other than that, why tf would you spend $2000+ on a pair of shoes that actually cost less than $10."- eggtada
Fame Is Seldom The Same As Qualified
"I’d say entertainers who are so wealthy and think they are the voices of normal people."-mayoinstrumentalz
Or Anything Else About Him?
"Ye's Opinion."- SlimePrice
Just How Real Was It?
"Reality TV."- brycebrycehayeshayes
Phaedra Parks Reality Tv GIF by Real housewives of AtlantaGiphyCan It Even Be Considered A Chat?
"SnapChat Streaks."
"Since when was a fire emoji and a number a symbol of popularity and friendship?"
"I just don't have the time for this sh*t."- Yes-I-Have-Arrived
Quality Over Quantity
"Starbucks."- Maleficent_Insect71
The best thing about opinions and personal taste is that they are unique to every individual.
No two people have to like the same thing, nor should we judge those who dislike something we like and vice-versa.
Even if it's hard to say it's unreasonable that not even two people should give Elon Musk or Ye any time of day.
Though again, that's just an opinion...
Meal times are meant to be fun. It's a time where you can take break from work and your problems, be with your friends or family, and most importantly, enjoy some good food.
Of course, good food is subjective.
There are plenty of popular foods and dishes out there that everyone loves.
However, sometimes people love a food so much that it loses it's luster and becomes overrated.
Redditors were only too happy to share which popular dishes they find overrated.
It all started when a Redditor asked:
"What food do you think is overrated?"
No Need For Synthetic Clay
"Fondant, if that counts. I see all these fancy cakes in bakeries and on tv shows and my first thought is "90% of that is just sugary Play-Doh.""
– AsleepInstruction737
"It is gorgeous, but tastes like, well you said it."
– AmIADelusionalArtist
But We All Need Coffee
"Anything at Starbucks"
– OverSuspendedMC
"Starbucks entirely."
– reyrey_007
"Starbucks? More like Starsucks!"
– ebichusan
Presentation Is Only Half The Battle
"Macarons. They never taste as good as they look"
"I would have to agree with this! I’ve had macarons from regular stores, always thought they tasted “blah”. Then I was in France a few months ago, and someone swore by Laduree ones. They said “you have to try it, it will change your life”. Waited in line for 40 min so I could “have my life changed”! Well, I still thought they tasted “blah”"
– lagcastello
"Yes! They are so pretty but I feel like I’m eating chalk."
– I_carried_a_H2Omelon
Can't Go With Everything
"Bacon. Dont get me wrong I love it but people wrap everything in it , cover it with chocolate ect."
– TigMac
"Bacon should be a side dish. Adding it to anything else sullies the bacon."
– 2meterrichard
More Money Does Not Mean Better
"caviar"
– hilellasry
"Right? Give me some salmon roe and we're good. It's like fish boba, yummy."
Not The Highest Form Of Flattery
"California roll w imitation crab"
– 1olaMas
"Imitation crab is heinous"
Pure And Simple Is The Best
"Things made of Mac and Cheese, like Mac and cheese balls"
"Just give me some good, gourmet mac. Usually the stuff in mac and cheese balls is Kraft Easy Mac grade stuff."
– BOOOATS
Too Sweet
"nutella"
– everevstan
"Yes, yes, yes, i thought i was the only one who doesn"t understand the Nutella lovers."
– Thinkdeeperaboutit
"Brown fatty stuff in sugar. Gag"
– Loose_Sun_169
Last Meal Doesn't Mean Best Meal
"Lobster"
– Fukitol-Yessir
"I’d prefer shrimp/crab/crawfish over lobster any day of the week."
Too Much Of A Good Thing
"Avocado. there is such a thing as too much"
– Diabolik77
"Just give me a fine spread, I don't need an avacado staircase on my toast"
– OmarGuard
Just A Bandaid Food
"Cheese is at the top of my list. Didn't really notice too much till the lactose intolerance set in but they put it on everything. I believe it's to cover up for really poor quality food. Have a sh*tty entrae? Cover it in cheese and people can't get enough. I never aye a lot of cheese before but it seems out of control the past few years"
– Realistic_Ad_165
Make It Yourselves
"Chocolate dipped strawberries. I can't believe people pay that much money for something that can be made so easily and cheaply and probably better at home."
– Warm-Replacement1839
Best Cookie In The World?
"Oreos."
– EnvironmentalBee5232
"Stopped eating them when I had braces because they gunked them up one time, and then I realized I didn’t like them a lot in the first place lol"
– Scrabulon
America's Favorite Food
"Bad pizza."
"People who say "Bad pizza is still pizza" aren't actually eating BAD pizza."
"Truly abominable pizza is heartbreaking, infuriating and bewildering."
– revjor
"7/11 is the only place i've ever had truly bad pizza from. i was shocked. how do you mess up pizza??!?"
– Nanakatl
"There are two instances where I've had actual bad pizza, not "bad pizza but it's still pizza.""
"The first was my college cafeteria. You go in thinking that it's awesome to have all you can eat pizza nightly...problem is, the pans weren't rinsed properly and every bite tasted faintly of dish soap. Pretty gross."
"The second (the worst of the two) was at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica I stayed at for my brother's wedding. The only option for late night food within the resort was a shack that served pizza, burgers, nachos, fries, that sort of thing. I asked for a cheese pizza, but they didn't have an oven, just a flat top. They pulled out some dough, stretched it out a bit (but not nearly thin enough to cook evenly) and slathered some tomato paste on it, then topped it with slices of american cheese. It was raw in the middle and didn't taste right at all."
– xMCioffi1986x
I never want to learn what truly bad pizza is!
Do you have anything to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.