Real talk: probably the most horrifying thing we experience individually is facing our own demons. We can be our own worst enemy, and our biggest critic. It's up to us to work on ourselves, and the first thing you need to do is reflect.
Lovie_Aura asked: What scares you the most about yourself?
This is pretty relatable.
"I'm lazy. I have friends, we go out together, I have fun with them. But every time I have to go out it's almost a chore, even though I know I will have fun.
It's as if I live in the moment and don't want to leave what was entertaining me. Be it my PC or phone or whatever, I know it's better for me to go out, but the lazy part of me says "do we really have to go?".
I hate this feeling. I hate being friends with someone I don't feel like going out with, just because of my laziness."
These things can be hard.
Giphy"How little I feel things, especially happy or joyful things. I can't remember the last time I was actually excited about something. I compare it to a really watered down drink. I know there's alcohol in there, but I can barely taste it.
I also don't really get angry and forgive and forget pretty quickly, and I can only be angry or sad if I'm alone and away from other people.
However, I pick up other peoples emotions really easily and their emotions will affect me more than my own.
I often wonder what's wrong with me."
PLEASE get help.
"If I have one drink, I will inevitably lose an indeterminate number of days.
The last time I drank it was six...six days that are just a complete and utter black hole in my memory. I guess it's fortunate that I don't appear to do anything other than lay in bed and drink, rather than, say, driving around and running over kids or something.
But it's still freaking terrifying to start drinking on Friday night and suddenly wake up the following Thursday surrounded by empty bottles. I don't drink anymore."
Stay strong.
"I'm an addict. I've been off of opiates for almost three years and have been totally clean for a little over a year.
I haven't had so much consecutive clean time in around 8 years, and I feel amazing! I have absolutely no desire to use or to drink, but I know that I'm by no means out of the woods, and that people relapse even after significant periods of clean time.
I just want to have a successful, sober, amazing life and I'm scared that somewhere down the road I'll relapse."
It happens to a lot of people.
Giphy"Sometimes I am not able to notice things that other people easily can in terms of being socially acceptable.
I can easily be accidentally offensive or insensitive without realizing it, even after I am told what I did wrong. Some things I do that are "wrong" to the majority don't make sense to me. It's definitely gotten me into arguments with my family and my boyfriend."
We're glad you're still here.
"I have a disassociative disorder. While out of it, I could, and have, cause serious or potentially lethal damage to myself, without being cognitively aware.
I have been in therapy for over half my life, but still almost every year or two, one episode gets bad and I land in the ED or ICU. I've been told multiple times by medical staff it's a miracle I'm alive."
Sometimes we find comfort in our depression.
"I miss being depressed and miserable. I miss being self destructive. I have a bunch of things going for me now. A good relationship. Steady okish income. A nice place.
Yet I miss being a lonely loser that just played games all day. Slept during the day and was awake at night took part in various harming habits.
Sometimes I see people having a rough time and I envy them. There is some comfort in that misery. If I feel randomly depressed here and there. I feel like I'm at home.
But it's probably just a side effect of having been depressed for the vast majority of my life. I got so used to it that I feel uncomfortable and unsafe when things are going smoothly. When there's routine. When people want to meet me and so on.
Sometimes I worry that I'll call back into that. Not because of circumstances. But by choice."
That can be a good or bad thing.
Giphy"People say I'm charismatic and I think that might be true. With nothing more than a few polite words, I can make strangers let me off the hook for things others wouldn't normally get away with.
I'm naturally good with persuasion and I'm scared of what I might be capable of if I honed that skill and lost my morals.
For this reason, I've sworn off becoming a politician."
You are NOT your parents.
"I grew up being severely abused by my parents, and that lasted until I cut them off mid-2017. My brothers then took over and I cut THEM off last March.
I'm terrified that if I ever have a kid I'll be abusive to them as well."
Sounds like you need to do some reflecting.
"The fact that I don't miss people when they leave my life even if they were close to me and been peers with me for many years.
I know I could maintain an online relationship but I just don't seem to care enough to do that and I don't mind never seeing them again. I'm able to cut relationships and break bonds with people so easily that it makes me wonder if I've actually had a relationship in which I've valued."
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.
