Real talk: probably the most horrifying thing we experience individually is facing our own demons. We can be our own worst enemy, and our biggest critic. It's up to us to work on ourselves, and the first thing you need to do is reflect.
Lovie_Aura asked: What scares you the most about yourself?
This is pretty relatable.
"I'm lazy. I have friends, we go out together, I have fun with them. But every time I have to go out it's almost a chore, even though I know I will have fun.
It's as if I live in the moment and don't want to leave what was entertaining me. Be it my PC or phone or whatever, I know it's better for me to go out, but the lazy part of me says "do we really have to go?".
I hate this feeling. I hate being friends with someone I don't feel like going out with, just because of my laziness."
These things can be hard.Giphy
"How little I feel things, especially happy or joyful things. I can't remember the last time I was actually excited about something. I compare it to a really watered down drink. I know there's alcohol in there, but I can barely taste it.
I also don't really get angry and forgive and forget pretty quickly, and I can only be angry or sad if I'm alone and away from other people.
However, I pick up other peoples emotions really easily and their emotions will affect me more than my own.
I often wonder what's wrong with me."
PLEASE get help.
"If I have one drink, I will inevitably lose an indeterminate number of days.
The last time I drank it was six...six days that are just a complete and utter black hole in my memory. I guess it's fortunate that I don't appear to do anything other than lay in bed and drink, rather than, say, driving around and running over kids or something.
But it's still freaking terrifying to start drinking on Friday night and suddenly wake up the following Thursday surrounded by empty bottles. I don't drink anymore."
"I'm an addict. I've been off of opiates for almost three years and have been totally clean for a little over a year.
I haven't had so much consecutive clean time in around 8 years, and I feel amazing! I have absolutely no desire to use or to drink, but I know that I'm by no means out of the woods, and that people relapse even after significant periods of clean time.
I just want to have a successful, sober, amazing life and I'm scared that somewhere down the road I'll relapse."
It happens to a lot of people.Giphy
"Sometimes I am not able to notice things that other people easily can in terms of being socially acceptable.
I can easily be accidentally offensive or insensitive without realizing it, even after I am told what I did wrong. Some things I do that are "wrong" to the majority don't make sense to me. It's definitely gotten me into arguments with my family and my boyfriend."
We're glad you're still here.
"I have a disassociative disorder. While out of it, I could, and have, cause serious or potentially lethal damage to myself, without being cognitively aware.
I have been in therapy for over half my life, but still almost every year or two, one episode gets bad and I land in the ED or ICU. I've been told multiple times by medical staff it's a miracle I'm alive."
Sometimes we find comfort in our depression.
"I miss being depressed and miserable. I miss being self destructive. I have a bunch of things going for me now. A good relationship. Steady okish income. A nice place.
Yet I miss being a lonely loser that just played games all day. Slept during the day and was awake at night took part in various harming habits.
Sometimes I see people having a rough time and I envy them. There is some comfort in that misery. If I feel randomly depressed here and there. I feel like I'm at home.
But it's probably just a side effect of having been depressed for the vast majority of my life. I got so used to it that I feel uncomfortable and unsafe when things are going smoothly. When there's routine. When people want to meet me and so on.
Sometimes I worry that I'll call back into that. Not because of circumstances. But by choice."
That can be a good or bad thing.Giphy
"People say I'm charismatic and I think that might be true. With nothing more than a few polite words, I can make strangers let me off the hook for things others wouldn't normally get away with.
I'm naturally good with persuasion and I'm scared of what I might be capable of if I honed that skill and lost my morals.
For this reason, I've sworn off becoming a politician."
You are NOT your parents.
"I grew up being severely abused by my parents, and that lasted until I cut them off mid-2017. My brothers then took over and I cut THEM off last March.
I'm terrified that if I ever have a kid I'll be abusive to them as well."
Sounds like you need to do some reflecting.
"The fact that I don't miss people when they leave my life even if they were close to me and been peers with me for many years.
I know I could maintain an online relationship but I just don't seem to care enough to do that and I don't mind never seeing them again. I'm able to cut relationships and break bonds with people so easily that it makes me wonder if I've actually had a relationship in which I've valued."