Who you are is enough. What you are capable of is beyond sufficient. You matter and there is no need to be ashamed. If anything comes from reading this piece, let it be the realization that none of us are alone. Even in this time of turmoil, isolation and frightening uncertainty; there are others feeling similar things, and there are people who want to listen. We all hide pieces of ourselves and exposing those pieces to loved ones can be a daunting, harrowing ordeal. But you can do it. You should it. When you're ready. Until then.... we're here.
Redditor u/shunyatleung wanted to know who had some truth they needed to unburden, maybe the audience can work as a test run. They wondered..... What is a secret that you don't mind telling to 29 million anonymous people but not to people you know?Phony.
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I lie to a point that i create memories to the point where it gets hard to know if they were false or not. Sometimes I can call myself out on my own lies and I can remember it, other times i have my siblings or parents call me out because of it never happening. No one else besides them knows that i am lying and i usually tell people that i am a chronic liar. The worst part is when people bring it up and i remember it as a memory only to argue with a person who knows it as a lie
I want to give up.
I have written a book, and I sent query letters and sample chapters to over 100 literary agents in 2019, but none of them were interested. To my friends and family, I'm staying optimistic, and talking about sending it out to 100 more. But in reality, I'm completely discouraged, and even thought I do have a list of agents I haven't tried yet, I can't bring myself to try anymore. I mean, one hundred freakin' agents?
Ugh. That's my secret: I want to give up. I can't drag myself into the line of fire anymore.
'forget it' attitude....
The two years I spent as a semi-professional BDSM Dom. I plan to keep this from my family and take this to my grave. Right time, right place for me. I wasn't actively looking, but I was fresh out of my first marriage, having been cheated on and replaced by a teenager. I was pretty pissed, a bit jaded and oozed a level of apathy that could be mistaken for a level of aloofness.
I guess the 'forget it' attitude, realization of a newly found freedom and the confidence that comes from it (plus being in great shape and aesthetically pleasing) got me noticed by someone. That someone just happened to have been a part of the industry there and thought the madam should meet me.
After that, two years of fun.
Just Fine
Even though I go to therapy and I say I'm doing fine, I'm really struggling more.
As a clinical psychologist, I can tell you that feeling you are struggling more can be related to actually addressing your issues, this happens a lot, its not easy to face your shadows, and when you do, it can feel quite overwhelming, idk if you already do, but don't keep the "I'm doing fine" mask with your therapist, and if you feel like you need to, or don't feel the freedom to open completely, maybe you should try another therapist/method. I wish you the very best!
Not Alone
Sometimes I seriously contemplate just leaving. I would never do it, I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, I'm spoiled beyond belief by my husband but sometimes I feel like I'm choking on my life.
This. I shouldn't complain, really. I do love my wife. She is gorgeous, fit, strong work ethic. I have two teenage kids who outside of the normal teenage rebellion are good kids. Live in a good neighborhood.
Still feels like I am putting on a mask everyday. And not the kind I'm supposed to.
How do I do it?
By the end of high school, everyone liked me. At work everyone likes me. How do I do it? I am terrified of what people think of me so I put on a smile and don't say anything bad, which is also why I haven't cried in over 10 years. I have never gotten into a fight or gotten drunk because Im afraid I will lose control and severely injure someone.
I never get angry for the same reason that I don't wanna be judged. I don't form close relationships easily because I'm afraid of what will happen if they fall apart. Finally there's a good chance I will never get married and have kids because of what me and my siblings went through when my parents separated.
Covid Days
I have an eating disorder. I've never been diagnosed but I've been struggling for 25 years. I was doing ok for the past 2ish but Covid caused me to snap and now I went back to not eating and excessive exercise. I've lost more weight in the last four weeks than i gained in the last 2 years. i finally told my husband about it on Monday, but no one else (family/friends/coworkers) know.
Daddy Issues
I hate being a father.
I know, I know, it's a horrible thing to say but I hate it. Being a father wasn't something I jumped into or was a mistake. I wasn't pressured into it or received an ultimatum to have kids. It was planned between my fiancé and I and it was what I thought I wanted, for years. I've always dreamt of having a family, I watched my own family fall apart when I was young and always knew that was what I wanted or what I thought I wanted.
Now two kids later, I can't help but think that I made a mistake. I love my kids, I treat them well and I'm constantly told how great of a father I am. But I hate being a father. I miss the time had to myself, I miss only having to take myself into consideration. I've realized since having kids that I'm an incredible selfish person at heart and hate having my time be disrupted.
Despite all of that, I'd never leave or abandon my children. I love them and their mother dearly. The smile my youngest gives me when I walk in the door makes me very happy. But I can't help feeling regret, like I'm missing out on things I want to do.
I actually have told my fiancé about this and despite my fear, she's been supportive and is helping me through these feelings. A friend, who is a therapist, said that I'm going through a male version of Post Partum since these feelings started about 2 months ago when my youngest turned 4 months old and my oldest turned 2 years old. None of my other friends or family know about this and never will.
I hope I can work through these feelings. I'm afraid that my boys will think that I don't want them or that I don't love them because of these feelings. This is probably the most conflicted, convoluted emotion I've ever felt. It's irrational and illogical and is throwing me off because I've always been a logical and rational person.
My Sister....
The reason why I'm not going to enter to a very stressful career, I'm taking a better care of myself and trying to get a job it's because I wanna donate my sister a kidney and get money for her meds, but she would hate if I did that and that's why she can't know.
Byeeeee
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Once I get a stable job and move out, I plan on cutting my family off since they're just too toxic. I also plan on getting a protection order against my brother.
Unkind
I am broken from my mom's abuse of me. People who know me in real life say I'm the nicest person they've ever met. I fall over backwards to be nice to everyone. But I really don't like most people I meet. I think a lot of people are A-holes or idiots.
I'm Packing
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I may give up one of my nationalities/citizenships because I do not want to be linked to that place at all.
Fender Benders
I once had a very minor car accident (it wasn't even an accident, I just hit someone's external rearview mirror with mine) and I was coerced into giving up the cash then and there rather than go through the proper procedures of alarming the insurance policy and all that stuff. I will never know if I gave up more than due (apparently the dude had the father working in mechanics and called him to ask for the price of the rearview mirror) or I was half-scammed (half because it was my fault after all) and I simply decided it was a bad dream and that it never, ever happened.
Hanging On
That I'm suicidal.
Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. Thank you for the people trying to help me with this. I'll try to get in touch with another psych soon and try to inquire how i can get subsidized meds. Ive been in therapy for my ptsd for a almost a year before Covid and i also have bipolar disorder, MDD and MAD but i had to fly home due to the pandemic. My home is in another island and is far from any government hospitals.
Appointment here on my country for private hospitals already costs me 3 to 5 days of my salary which i am having a hard time to sustain same with my medications since they cost 8 times for non subsidized pharmacy. Its hard, especially in my country, treatments for mental illnesses are commonly seen are seen as a luxury given they are very expensive. But I'll try my best to hang on. Maybe soon once this pandemic is over, ill be able to go back for therapy. Thank you everyone.
I'm so tired.
The only reason why I haven't straight up killed myself yet is I don't want other people in my life to be sad. I know many other people have it worse as well, so who am I to be so down? I'll just fill up my schedule and put on a mask. I don't want to be a burden. But... yeah... I haven't been living because I genuinely want to for a very long time. I'm so tired.
Humans Out
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A couple years ago, I used to be the most optimistic person you would ever meet.
Now I'm a nihilist that believes humanity was a mistake.
i was ready
I wish my sister had been unsuccessful at breaking in to where I was laying, hours away from death. Every single day the only thing I can remember with certainty (have amnesia from the brain damage) is that I was ready to die and was only upset that it was a shit way to go, I hadn't said my goodbyes, etc.
It wasn't even suicide. I was just sick. It would've been fine.
"well.... I'm bi..."
I am pretty sure I am bisexual even though I never had a sexual experience with an other man.
You don't have to act on anything if you don't want to. I met a greek dude last year who was bicurious and we had fun, but the best moment was right after when he rolled over and stared directly into my soul and went "well.... I'm bi..." and started laughing.
Lower Lows
I struggle with depression and it sucks. Sometimes I struggle to get out of bed. Other days I struggle to get dressed. When you see me in public (which is rarer and rarer these days) you don't see the real me. You see a fake persona.
Same. It's not fake for me but there is a much deeper me at certain times of my night that I'm completely different from who everyone thought I was.
Sorry Pop
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I might possibly have the opportunity to put my dad away in prison for felonies, but I can't bring myself to do it. He deserves to be in prison, but I'm not ready for all the kick back I would get from doing so.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resource
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But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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