Who you are is enough. What you are capable of is beyond sufficient. You matter and there is no need to be ashamed. If anything comes from reading this piece, let it be the realization that none of us are alone. Even in this time of turmoil, isolation and frightening uncertainty; there are others feeling similar things, and there are people who want to listen. We all hide pieces of ourselves and exposing those pieces to loved ones can be a daunting, harrowing ordeal. But you can do it. You should it. When you're ready. Until then.... we're here.
Redditor u/shunyatleung wanted to know who had some truth they needed to unburden, maybe the audience can work as a test run. They wondered..... What is a secret that you don't mind telling to 29 million anonymous people but not to people you know?Phony.
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I lie to a point that i create memories to the point where it gets hard to know if they were false or not. Sometimes I can call myself out on my own lies and I can remember it, other times i have my siblings or parents call me out because of it never happening. No one else besides them knows that i am lying and i usually tell people that i am a chronic liar. The worst part is when people bring it up and i remember it as a memory only to argue with a person who knows it as a lie
I want to give up.
I have written a book, and I sent query letters and sample chapters to over 100 literary agents in 2019, but none of them were interested. To my friends and family, I'm staying optimistic, and talking about sending it out to 100 more. But in reality, I'm completely discouraged, and even thought I do have a list of agents I haven't tried yet, I can't bring myself to try anymore. I mean, one hundred freakin' agents?
Ugh. That's my secret: I want to give up. I can't drag myself into the line of fire anymore.
'forget it' attitude....
The two years I spent as a semi-professional BDSM Dom. I plan to keep this from my family and take this to my grave. Right time, right place for me. I wasn't actively looking, but I was fresh out of my first marriage, having been cheated on and replaced by a teenager. I was pretty pissed, a bit jaded and oozed a level of apathy that could be mistaken for a level of aloofness.
I guess the 'forget it' attitude, realization of a newly found freedom and the confidence that comes from it (plus being in great shape and aesthetically pleasing) got me noticed by someone. That someone just happened to have been a part of the industry there and thought the madam should meet me.
After that, two years of fun.
Just Fine
Even though I go to therapy and I say I'm doing fine, I'm really struggling more.
As a clinical psychologist, I can tell you that feeling you are struggling more can be related to actually addressing your issues, this happens a lot, its not easy to face your shadows, and when you do, it can feel quite overwhelming, idk if you already do, but don't keep the "I'm doing fine" mask with your therapist, and if you feel like you need to, or don't feel the freedom to open completely, maybe you should try another therapist/method. I wish you the very best!
Not Alone
Sometimes I seriously contemplate just leaving. I would never do it, I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, I'm spoiled beyond belief by my husband but sometimes I feel like I'm choking on my life.
This. I shouldn't complain, really. I do love my wife. She is gorgeous, fit, strong work ethic. I have two teenage kids who outside of the normal teenage rebellion are good kids. Live in a good neighborhood.
Still feels like I am putting on a mask everyday. And not the kind I'm supposed to.
How do I do it?
By the end of high school, everyone liked me. At work everyone likes me. How do I do it? I am terrified of what people think of me so I put on a smile and don't say anything bad, which is also why I haven't cried in over 10 years. I have never gotten into a fight or gotten drunk because Im afraid I will lose control and severely injure someone.
I never get angry for the same reason that I don't wanna be judged. I don't form close relationships easily because I'm afraid of what will happen if they fall apart. Finally there's a good chance I will never get married and have kids because of what me and my siblings went through when my parents separated.
Covid Days
I have an eating disorder. I've never been diagnosed but I've been struggling for 25 years. I was doing ok for the past 2ish but Covid caused me to snap and now I went back to not eating and excessive exercise. I've lost more weight in the last four weeks than i gained in the last 2 years. i finally told my husband about it on Monday, but no one else (family/friends/coworkers) know.
Daddy Issues
I hate being a father.
I know, I know, it's a horrible thing to say but I hate it. Being a father wasn't something I jumped into or was a mistake. I wasn't pressured into it or received an ultimatum to have kids. It was planned between my fiancé and I and it was what I thought I wanted, for years. I've always dreamt of having a family, I watched my own family fall apart when I was young and always knew that was what I wanted or what I thought I wanted.
Now two kids later, I can't help but think that I made a mistake. I love my kids, I treat them well and I'm constantly told how great of a father I am. But I hate being a father. I miss the time had to myself, I miss only having to take myself into consideration. I've realized since having kids that I'm an incredible selfish person at heart and hate having my time be disrupted.
Despite all of that, I'd never leave or abandon my children. I love them and their mother dearly. The smile my youngest gives me when I walk in the door makes me very happy. But I can't help feeling regret, like I'm missing out on things I want to do.
I actually have told my fiancé about this and despite my fear, she's been supportive and is helping me through these feelings. A friend, who is a therapist, said that I'm going through a male version of Post Partum since these feelings started about 2 months ago when my youngest turned 4 months old and my oldest turned 2 years old. None of my other friends or family know about this and never will.
I hope I can work through these feelings. I'm afraid that my boys will think that I don't want them or that I don't love them because of these feelings. This is probably the most conflicted, convoluted emotion I've ever felt. It's irrational and illogical and is throwing me off because I've always been a logical and rational person.
My Sister....
The reason why I'm not going to enter to a very stressful career, I'm taking a better care of myself and trying to get a job it's because I wanna donate my sister a kidney and get money for her meds, but she would hate if I did that and that's why she can't know.
Byeeeee
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Once I get a stable job and move out, I plan on cutting my family off since they're just too toxic. I also plan on getting a protection order against my brother.
Unkind
I am broken from my mom's abuse of me. People who know me in real life say I'm the nicest person they've ever met. I fall over backwards to be nice to everyone. But I really don't like most people I meet. I think a lot of people are A-holes or idiots.
I'm Packing
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I may give up one of my nationalities/citizenships because I do not want to be linked to that place at all.
Fender Benders
I once had a very minor car accident (it wasn't even an accident, I just hit someone's external rearview mirror with mine) and I was coerced into giving up the cash then and there rather than go through the proper procedures of alarming the insurance policy and all that stuff. I will never know if I gave up more than due (apparently the dude had the father working in mechanics and called him to ask for the price of the rearview mirror) or I was half-scammed (half because it was my fault after all) and I simply decided it was a bad dream and that it never, ever happened.
Hanging On
That I'm suicidal.
Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. Thank you for the people trying to help me with this. I'll try to get in touch with another psych soon and try to inquire how i can get subsidized meds. Ive been in therapy for my ptsd for a almost a year before Covid and i also have bipolar disorder, MDD and MAD but i had to fly home due to the pandemic. My home is in another island and is far from any government hospitals.
Appointment here on my country for private hospitals already costs me 3 to 5 days of my salary which i am having a hard time to sustain same with my medications since they cost 8 times for non subsidized pharmacy. Its hard, especially in my country, treatments for mental illnesses are commonly seen are seen as a luxury given they are very expensive. But I'll try my best to hang on. Maybe soon once this pandemic is over, ill be able to go back for therapy. Thank you everyone.
I'm so tired.
The only reason why I haven't straight up killed myself yet is I don't want other people in my life to be sad. I know many other people have it worse as well, so who am I to be so down? I'll just fill up my schedule and put on a mask. I don't want to be a burden. But... yeah... I haven't been living because I genuinely want to for a very long time. I'm so tired.
Humans Out
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A couple years ago, I used to be the most optimistic person you would ever meet.
Now I'm a nihilist that believes humanity was a mistake.
i was ready
I wish my sister had been unsuccessful at breaking in to where I was laying, hours away from death. Every single day the only thing I can remember with certainty (have amnesia from the brain damage) is that I was ready to die and was only upset that it was a shit way to go, I hadn't said my goodbyes, etc.
It wasn't even suicide. I was just sick. It would've been fine.
"well.... I'm bi..."
I am pretty sure I am bisexual even though I never had a sexual experience with an other man.
You don't have to act on anything if you don't want to. I met a greek dude last year who was bicurious and we had fun, but the best moment was right after when he rolled over and stared directly into my soul and went "well.... I'm bi..." and started laughing.
Lower Lows
I struggle with depression and it sucks. Sometimes I struggle to get out of bed. Other days I struggle to get dressed. When you see me in public (which is rarer and rarer these days) you don't see the real me. You see a fake persona.
Same. It's not fake for me but there is a much deeper me at certain times of my night that I'm completely different from who everyone thought I was.
Sorry Pop
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I might possibly have the opportunity to put my dad away in prison for felonies, but I can't bring myself to do it. He deserves to be in prison, but I'm not ready for all the kick back I would get from doing so.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resource
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"What is a subtle sign that someone is really intelligent?"
The minds of really smart individuals never stop working.
Resourcefulness
"They draw wisdom from multiple sources. Wait but that might be more wise than intelligent... But I guess those two tend to be seen together a lot."
– Puzzlehead-Engineer
Inquisitive Minds
"They are curious about everything."
"To be intelligent you need to be knowledgeable and you cant be knowledgeable if you are never curious."
– soup54461
The way highly intelligent people interact with others is slightly different.
Social Adaptability
"They can switch up the way they talk to match the person they're talking to without sounding condescending. They listen to how others learn and explain it in that person's language of understanding."
– Wynonna99
Talking On Level Ground
"Talking to people as if they're intelligent at their level and without being condescending or even letting on that it's lower than their level."
"I used to work with a doctor - Tom Howard - and the day I realized he was a genius was the time he guessed every single condition a patient of mine had based on minute pieces of information about him."
– Yoodei_Mon
The Humble Professor
"No joke. The smartest professor I had in engineering school was also the most humble. She was an astounding human being. By week 2, she knew everyone's names by heart in the intro engineering course. In College. With like 180 students. Later, in upper division classes, people would occasionally ask some really stupid questions."
"Like, it happens... you get so deep into some fluid mechanics derivation or something you forget something really basic. People would ask a question like this and everyone would be thinking like; 'Wow, how did you even make it this far?' but then... it's like she would spot the flaw in their understanding so perfectly, and then respond with such clarity and wisdom that the person asking the question would look less stupid and the whole class would be enlightened."
"And here's the thing... I pride myself on being really good at that exact skill. I tutored a lot of people. I was easily one of the brightest amongst my peers. But that woman was on another level. It was mind-blowing."
"And it wasn't just her intelligence, but her organizational skills, discipline, consistency.... And yet... she was so humble. She was quiet and physically quite small. But she just exuded competence and immediately commanded every room she walked into. I've never seen anything quite like it."
– EngineeringNeverEnds
A Positive Effect
"When they explain something they make you feel intelligent."
– gwoshmi
When In Doubt
"They know when their knowledge ends and say something to the extent of 'I don't know and anything else i say on this topic is ignorant speculation.'"
–blutoboy
Some with impressive IQs may deal with questions in the following ways.
Reaction To Delayed Responses
"'You really think about everything don't you?' - a doctor, to me, after he asked me a question and I took longer than 2 seconds to answer it."
"No, I just pull something out of my ass every time and those extra seconds you waited for me to answer were purely to irritate you for my own enjoyment."
– Imakegoatnoises
The Really Good Questions
"They can ask really good questions."
"Edit: to anyone not understanding what mean, I’m talking about people who ask 'really good questions,' not just any questions, really good ones. I don’t know how one would achieve this skill(I know I haven’t)."
– milkmanbran
Taking Pause
"They spend time thinking before asking a question."
– ParkMan73
"Some of the smartest people don’t comment at all."
– metric-poet
I agree with many of the comments saying a really intelligent person knows how to cater the conversation towards another person's level of understanding.
They do have the impressive skill to convey something in a way that can easily be understood. Some of the most venerated professors at my university were like this, and their classes were always the hardest to get in to.
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I'm on the fence about high school. I want to hate it, but nostalgia haunts me. I saw a lot of violence, there is that.
We were on CNN.
don lemon nodding GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy"They started charging us for ketchup in the cafeteria. Most of the school boycotted cafeteria lunch and brought all manner of condiments from home. We were on CNN. They eventually caved." ~ Ash3Monti
No one liked him.
"I was big into drama club and musical theatre when I was in high school. There was a girl in the drama club in her freshmen or sophomore year who was super nice and everyone loved her. Her older brother on the the other hand, was a complete and total douchebag. No one liked him."
"He always made inappropriate comments or jokes and no one liked to be around him. One night, he was driving him and his sister back from school when he took a steep curve going around 100 mph. He lost control and hit a telephone pole. His sister died instantly and he was in a coma for a few weeks but ultimately survived."
"Myself and my friends in the drama club were devastated. She was one of the sweetest girls you'll ever met and we all loved her. A year or two later, the brother messages my sister and tries to use his sister's death as leverage to get laid. F**k you, you piece of crap." ~ FearTheKeflex
Bribes
"Guidance counselor was taking bribes to change grades (Both money and sexual favors). Invited one male student over to his house. Had the student tie him up and hang him by chains in his basement "dungeon." Student was homophobic and while the counselor was tied up, bludgeoned him to death." ~ monthos
H2O Issues...
"This is not that extreme, but it's still disgusting. We have drinking water taps instead of fountains. One parent was suspicious of whether they were cleaning the tanks or not. So they made an announcement that the tank was being cleaned every single day."
"A lot of us didn't believe it, so a group of boys decided to see for themselves if it was true or not. So they put a dead frog in the tank when there was no one around. I don't even know where they found the frog but they swear they didn't kill it. Anyway the frog was there for a few weeks. And obviously the water started tasting weird."
"After the teachers got multiple complaints, they opened the tank and found the frog. The boys were punished, but they fired back with the fact that they lied about cleaning the tanks. They were still punished, because they proved it in a disgusting way. They could've put literally anything in the tank, but they chose a dead frog." ~ R00mTemperature
The Quad
Acds2 Look Away GIF by Anime Crimes DivisionGiphy"A worker doing stuff on the roof. He fell off. Landed in the 'quad' at lunch. A large piece of machinery fell and squished his head. Like a cartoon, only funny. Like 150 Kids saw this." ~ LordInventus
Threats
"The Latin kings gang threatened my cousin and his friends and they had 10 squad cars guarding the whole school and dismissed us the same day early." ~ Terrykrinkle
“it’s gonna blow”
"I had just moved in from Egypt to the states in my senior year of high school. A teacher thought it would be funny to fold a bunch of papers and wrap them in duck tape to make it look like a bomb and threw it my direction and went under his desk saying 'it’s gonna blow.' Everybody started laughing and I was so clueless then I just laughed along. It infuriates me to this day that I didn’t call him out on it or report him." ~ ezzabousaif
Go Fish
"Someone somehow made a bomb threat on a Swedish fish candy. Like one single piece. I don’t know how it happened but he got arrested." ~ ts_13_
Masternid
"A couple weeks before graduation, this kid hacked into the school system and put a Hitler quote and a Boston bomber reference in the senior quotes for the yearbook. One of the affected parties was a trans girl, and we're still not sure if it was a targeted act because of that."
"Administration didn't find out until the entire senior class had received their books. Some people turned theirs in to get their pages replaced, but some kept it because it was a 'limited edition item' or some stupid sh*t like that. Kid got arrested and charged with cybercrime, since he hacked everyone in our school system's school passwords."
"He was so close to graduating too, but got expelled like two weeks before he could. Looked like a rat too. It was all over the news, and everyone in the state of CT basically knows about this now. Got out on bail for $5000." ~ kocorpsie
Season 3 What GIF by On My Block
"Apparently one student brought drugs to school and was selling it to her friends. A completely unrelated student caught on and stole the drugs while everyone else was in class. She was caught snorting the drugs in the bathroom by the group selling the drugs and got the crap beat out of her."
"We also had a recently graduated student murder his parents for insurance money . He hid the bodies in a chicken coop and told everybody they were on vacation. It wasn't until 7 months later the bodies were found by the landlord because the rent was late." ~ randomgenericcow
Enjoy high school, at least try too. Maybe if more kids do that, it wouldn't be so insane.
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