Who you are is enough. What you are capable of is beyond sufficient. You matter and there is no need to be ashamed. If anything comes from reading this piece, let it be the realization that none of us are alone. Even in this time of turmoil, isolation and frightening uncertainty; there are others feeling similar things, and there are people who want to listen. We all hide pieces of ourselves and exposing those pieces to loved ones can be a daunting, harrowing ordeal. But you can do it. You should it. When you're ready. Until then.... we're here.
Redditor u/shunyatleung wanted to know who had some truth they needed to unburden, maybe the audience can work as a test run. They wondered..... What is a secret that you don't mind telling to 29 million anonymous people but not to people you know?Phony.
jim carrey truth GIFGiphyI lie to a point that i create memories to the point where it gets hard to know if they were false or not. Sometimes I can call myself out on my own lies and I can remember it, other times i have my siblings or parents call me out because of it never happening. No one else besides them knows that i am lying and i usually tell people that i am a chronic liar. The worst part is when people bring it up and i remember it as a memory only to argue with a person who knows it as a lie
I want to give up.
I have written a book, and I sent query letters and sample chapters to over 100 literary agents in 2019, but none of them were interested. To my friends and family, I'm staying optimistic, and talking about sending it out to 100 more. But in reality, I'm completely discouraged, and even thought I do have a list of agents I haven't tried yet, I can't bring myself to try anymore. I mean, one hundred freakin' agents?
Ugh. That's my secret: I want to give up. I can't drag myself into the line of fire anymore.
'forget it' attitude....
The two years I spent as a semi-professional BDSM Dom. I plan to keep this from my family and take this to my grave. Right time, right place for me. I wasn't actively looking, but I was fresh out of my first marriage, having been cheated on and replaced by a teenager. I was pretty pissed, a bit jaded and oozed a level of apathy that could be mistaken for a level of aloofness.
I guess the 'forget it' attitude, realization of a newly found freedom and the confidence that comes from it (plus being in great shape and aesthetically pleasing) got me noticed by someone. That someone just happened to have been a part of the industry there and thought the madam should meet me.
After that, two years of fun.
Just Fine
Even though I go to therapy and I say I'm doing fine, I'm really struggling more.
As a clinical psychologist, I can tell you that feeling you are struggling more can be related to actually addressing your issues, this happens a lot, its not easy to face your shadows, and when you do, it can feel quite overwhelming, idk if you already do, but don't keep the "I'm doing fine" mask with your therapist, and if you feel like you need to, or don't feel the freedom to open completely, maybe you should try another therapist/method. I wish you the very best!
Not Alone
Sometimes I seriously contemplate just leaving. I would never do it, I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, I'm spoiled beyond belief by my husband but sometimes I feel like I'm choking on my life.
This. I shouldn't complain, really. I do love my wife. She is gorgeous, fit, strong work ethic. I have two teenage kids who outside of the normal teenage rebellion are good kids. Live in a good neighborhood.
Still feels like I am putting on a mask everyday. And not the kind I'm supposed to.
How do I do it?
By the end of high school, everyone liked me. At work everyone likes me. How do I do it? I am terrified of what people think of me so I put on a smile and don't say anything bad, which is also why I haven't cried in over 10 years. I have never gotten into a fight or gotten drunk because Im afraid I will lose control and severely injure someone.
I never get angry for the same reason that I don't wanna be judged. I don't form close relationships easily because I'm afraid of what will happen if they fall apart. Finally there's a good chance I will never get married and have kids because of what me and my siblings went through when my parents separated.
Covid Days
I have an eating disorder. I've never been diagnosed but I've been struggling for 25 years. I was doing ok for the past 2ish but Covid caused me to snap and now I went back to not eating and excessive exercise. I've lost more weight in the last four weeks than i gained in the last 2 years. i finally told my husband about it on Monday, but no one else (family/friends/coworkers) know.
Daddy Issues
I hate being a father.
I know, I know, it's a horrible thing to say but I hate it. Being a father wasn't something I jumped into or was a mistake. I wasn't pressured into it or received an ultimatum to have kids. It was planned between my fiancé and I and it was what I thought I wanted, for years. I've always dreamt of having a family, I watched my own family fall apart when I was young and always knew that was what I wanted or what I thought I wanted.
Now two kids later, I can't help but think that I made a mistake. I love my kids, I treat them well and I'm constantly told how great of a father I am. But I hate being a father. I miss the time had to myself, I miss only having to take myself into consideration. I've realized since having kids that I'm an incredible selfish person at heart and hate having my time be disrupted.
Despite all of that, I'd never leave or abandon my children. I love them and their mother dearly. The smile my youngest gives me when I walk in the door makes me very happy. But I can't help feeling regret, like I'm missing out on things I want to do.
I actually have told my fiancé about this and despite my fear, she's been supportive and is helping me through these feelings. A friend, who is a therapist, said that I'm going through a male version of Post Partum since these feelings started about 2 months ago when my youngest turned 4 months old and my oldest turned 2 years old. None of my other friends or family know about this and never will.
I hope I can work through these feelings. I'm afraid that my boys will think that I don't want them or that I don't love them because of these feelings. This is probably the most conflicted, convoluted emotion I've ever felt. It's irrational and illogical and is throwing me off because I've always been a logical and rational person.
My Sister....
The reason why I'm not going to enter to a very stressful career, I'm taking a better care of myself and trying to get a job it's because I wanna donate my sister a kidney and get money for her meds, but she would hate if I did that and that's why she can't know.
Byeeeee
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphyOnce I get a stable job and move out, I plan on cutting my family off since they're just too toxic. I also plan on getting a protection order against my brother.
Unkind
I am broken from my mom's abuse of me. People who know me in real life say I'm the nicest person they've ever met. I fall over backwards to be nice to everyone. But I really don't like most people I meet. I think a lot of people are A-holes or idiots.
I'm Packing
carry on luggage GIF by HULUGiphyI may give up one of my nationalities/citizenships because I do not want to be linked to that place at all.
Fender Benders
I once had a very minor car accident (it wasn't even an accident, I just hit someone's external rearview mirror with mine) and I was coerced into giving up the cash then and there rather than go through the proper procedures of alarming the insurance policy and all that stuff. I will never know if I gave up more than due (apparently the dude had the father working in mechanics and called him to ask for the price of the rearview mirror) or I was half-scammed (half because it was my fault after all) and I simply decided it was a bad dream and that it never, ever happened.
Hanging On
That I'm suicidal.
Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. Thank you for the people trying to help me with this. I'll try to get in touch with another psych soon and try to inquire how i can get subsidized meds. Ive been in therapy for my ptsd for a almost a year before Covid and i also have bipolar disorder, MDD and MAD but i had to fly home due to the pandemic. My home is in another island and is far from any government hospitals.
Appointment here on my country for private hospitals already costs me 3 to 5 days of my salary which i am having a hard time to sustain same with my medications since they cost 8 times for non subsidized pharmacy. Its hard, especially in my country, treatments for mental illnesses are commonly seen are seen as a luxury given they are very expensive. But I'll try my best to hang on. Maybe soon once this pandemic is over, ill be able to go back for therapy. Thank you everyone.
I'm so tired.
The only reason why I haven't straight up killed myself yet is I don't want other people in my life to be sad. I know many other people have it worse as well, so who am I to be so down? I'll just fill up my schedule and put on a mask. I don't want to be a burden. But... yeah... I haven't been living because I genuinely want to for a very long time. I'm so tired.
Humans Out
Duck Reaction GIFGiphyA couple years ago, I used to be the most optimistic person you would ever meet.
Now I'm a nihilist that believes humanity was a mistake.
i was ready
I wish my sister had been unsuccessful at breaking in to where I was laying, hours away from death. Every single day the only thing I can remember with certainty (have amnesia from the brain damage) is that I was ready to die and was only upset that it was a shit way to go, I hadn't said my goodbyes, etc.
It wasn't even suicide. I was just sick. It would've been fine.
"well.... I'm bi..."
I am pretty sure I am bisexual even though I never had a sexual experience with an other man.
You don't have to act on anything if you don't want to. I met a greek dude last year who was bicurious and we had fun, but the best moment was right after when he rolled over and stared directly into my soul and went "well.... I'm bi..." and started laughing.
Lower Lows
I struggle with depression and it sucks. Sometimes I struggle to get out of bed. Other days I struggle to get dressed. When you see me in public (which is rarer and rarer these days) you don't see the real me. You see a fake persona.
Same. It's not fake for me but there is a much deeper me at certain times of my night that I'm completely different from who everyone thought I was.
Sorry Pop
Sad Pikachu GIFGiphyI might possibly have the opportunity to put my dad away in prison for felonies, but I can't bring myself to do it. He deserves to be in prison, but I'm not ready for all the kick back I would get from doing so.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resource
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Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History Help
Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
Ramon80589
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
Satmatzi
Years Later
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
hannlouiseols
Size Issues
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
bewarethes0ckm0nster
In San Diego
No Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
BigFatPapaBear
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The Reward
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
No_External7289
Dedicated...
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
pelo_ensortijado
I'm Out
Chris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
euesquecimeunome
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
Vacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
delete black and white GIFGiphy"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
