Believing in dub stuff as a kid is par for the course. When we're children, we're just tinier humans with less life experience, right? But let's be real- some of the dumb things we believed were actually really, really dumb.
u/ThePolishPA asked: What's the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
One Florida, two Florida, three Florida...
I'm from Atlanta. I only heard the national anthem at baseball games. I visited my cousin in New York and thought that they'd end the song singing "and the home of the Yankees".
I'm from Mississippi and I thought if you were from another state you used it to count seconds. Example: One Mississippi, two Mississippi and if you were from from Florida, one Florida, two Florida three Florida...
Chicken chops.
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Was a picky eater - parents told me every meat was ham.
Don't know what's worse my dumba** being okay with eating ham everyday, or thinking every type of meat was ham.
My brother didn't like pork so my mom told him that pork chops were chicken chops and then he loved them!
Sunny day, sweepin the clouds away....
That sesame street was an actual street, I begged my mom to take me. She just told me that it was to far away, I cried for an hour. I just wanted to go to sesame street dude.
Can you tell me how to get there?
Confidence is key.
I believed that because my mom knew everything my dad didn't and my dad knew everything my mom didn't, then I must know everything.
I was a confident child.
Logic checks out.
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I thought I was allergic to pepperoni pizza because my mom never let me get It. Turns out I'm just Jewish.
It's a religious allergy.
That isn't what they meant by "every 5th child".
China is very populated and it always has been. I am the 5th child of my family. It was said that Every 5th child is Chinese. I thought I was Chinese when I was little. I am Swedish American.
The things you learn as an adult....
My wife thought that Sloth from The Goonies was a real person with facial deformity that they cast for the role. She only learned last year that it was make-up. She's 38.
The line was busy.
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I used to think praying was akin to using a phone to dial up to heaven. So when I was a kid I'd make the sign of the cross to start my call/prayer to Jesus. I was a super forgetful child though so what ended up happening was this:
"Okay thank you for listening to me God! Bye bye" Makes the sign of the cross. "Sorry Jesus I'm not sure I ended my prayer properly let me try again." Makes the sign of the cross twice. "Can you still hear me?" "No?" "Okay I'm going to go play now" Makes the sign of the cross one last time to be sure.
These are wild.
Ah, let me see, a couple of things:
- I believed I was immortal and would live forever. When I realized people actually died and didn't come back, I freaked out.
- I believed sex worked by a man and a women sleeping in the same bed for a night, and then the women would become pregnant
- I thought the shoulder pads football players wore were their actually muscles. I thought every football player was ripped, lol.
That's called sleep apnea.
My mum told me that all mothers could mind read their kids so me keeping secrets was futile because she'd always know.
I also thought that when you slept, you stopped breathing... of course whenever I pretended to be sleeping, I would end up gasping for breath and giving myself away.
I'm on the fence about high school. I want to hate it, but nostalgia haunts me. I saw a lot of violence, there is that.
We were on CNN.
don lemon nodding GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy"They started charging us for ketchup in the cafeteria. Most of the school boycotted cafeteria lunch and brought all manner of condiments from home. We were on CNN. They eventually caved." ~ Ash3Monti
No one liked him.
"I was big into drama club and musical theatre when I was in high school. There was a girl in the drama club in her freshmen or sophomore year who was super nice and everyone loved her. Her older brother on the the other hand, was a complete and total douchebag. No one liked him."
"He always made inappropriate comments or jokes and no one liked to be around him. One night, he was driving him and his sister back from school when he took a steep curve going around 100 mph. He lost control and hit a telephone pole. His sister died instantly and he was in a coma for a few weeks but ultimately survived."
"Myself and my friends in the drama club were devastated. She was one of the sweetest girls you'll ever met and we all loved her. A year or two later, the brother messages my sister and tries to use his sister's death as leverage to get laid. F**k you, you piece of crap." ~ FearTheKeflex
Bribes
"Guidance counselor was taking bribes to change grades (Both money and sexual favors). Invited one male student over to his house. Had the student tie him up and hang him by chains in his basement "dungeon." Student was homophobic and while the counselor was tied up, bludgeoned him to death." ~ monthos
H2O Issues...
"This is not that extreme, but it's still disgusting. We have drinking water taps instead of fountains. One parent was suspicious of whether they were cleaning the tanks or not. So they made an announcement that the tank was being cleaned every single day."
"A lot of us didn't believe it, so a group of boys decided to see for themselves if it was true or not. So they put a dead frog in the tank when there was no one around. I don't even know where they found the frog but they swear they didn't kill it. Anyway the frog was there for a few weeks. And obviously the water started tasting weird."
"After the teachers got multiple complaints, they opened the tank and found the frog. The boys were punished, but they fired back with the fact that they lied about cleaning the tanks. They were still punished, because they proved it in a disgusting way. They could've put literally anything in the tank, but they chose a dead frog." ~ R00mTemperature
The Quad
Acds2 Look Away GIF by Anime Crimes DivisionGiphy"A worker doing stuff on the roof. He fell off. Landed in the 'quad' at lunch. A large piece of machinery fell and squished his head. Like a cartoon, only funny. Like 150 Kids saw this." ~ LordInventus
Threats
"The Latin kings gang threatened my cousin and his friends and they had 10 squad cars guarding the whole school and dismissed us the same day early." ~ Terrykrinkle
“it’s gonna blow”
"I had just moved in from Egypt to the states in my senior year of high school. A teacher thought it would be funny to fold a bunch of papers and wrap them in duck tape to make it look like a bomb and threw it my direction and went under his desk saying 'it’s gonna blow.' Everybody started laughing and I was so clueless then I just laughed along. It infuriates me to this day that I didn’t call him out on it or report him." ~ ezzabousaif
Go Fish
"Someone somehow made a bomb threat on a Swedish fish candy. Like one single piece. I don’t know how it happened but he got arrested." ~ ts_13_
Masternid
"A couple weeks before graduation, this kid hacked into the school system and put a Hitler quote and a Boston bomber reference in the senior quotes for the yearbook. One of the affected parties was a trans girl, and we're still not sure if it was a targeted act because of that."
"Administration didn't find out until the entire senior class had received their books. Some people turned theirs in to get their pages replaced, but some kept it because it was a 'limited edition item' or some stupid sh*t like that. Kid got arrested and charged with cybercrime, since he hacked everyone in our school system's school passwords."
"He was so close to graduating too, but got expelled like two weeks before he could. Looked like a rat too. It was all over the news, and everyone in the state of CT basically knows about this now. Got out on bail for $5000." ~ kocorpsie
Season 3 What GIF by On My Block"Apparently one student brought drugs to school and was selling it to her friends. A completely unrelated student caught on and stole the drugs while everyone else was in class. She was caught snorting the drugs in the bathroom by the group selling the drugs and got the crap beat out of her."
"We also had a recently graduated student murder his parents for insurance money . He hid the bodies in a chicken coop and told everybody they were on vacation. It wasn't until 7 months later the bodies were found by the landlord because the rent was late." ~ randomgenericcow
Enjoy high school, at least try too. Maybe if more kids do that, it wouldn't be so insane.
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