You probably at some point have made up some story just to move your life along more quickly. But sometimes these lies can snowball--will you still be able to get away with it? Come and meet some of these masters of the craft.
Here were some of the answers.
The Easy Way OutGiphy
Don't think it's the biggest, but a favorite of mine:
7th Grade English, we have a project to pick any long novel, read it and do an oral book report to the class with a Q&A. I pick The Shining, and had I given it a shot I would have realized it's a page turner, but to 7th grade me it just looks like a long a** book that is not as fun as video games.
The Teacher set aside a few minutes of each class for us to just sit and read our book. Leading up to the deadline, she sees that I haven't read very much, and keeps badgering me that I need to be reading more at home. I keep assuring her that I'm a fast reader, I'll catch up quickly, I'll get it done, etc.
Cut to the day before my presentation: I have read jack sh!t. I, of course, rent the movie instead. I watch it TWICE just to be sure.
I do my presentation, being as vague about the plot as I can get away with, and throw in some BS about my opinions on Stephen King's writing style that I looked up on the internet. I take questions from my classmates, no problem.
But Teacher appears skeptical this whole time. I mean, there is a very popular movie based on this book, and I was not on pace to have any chance at finishing this thing...it doesn't take a genius to be suspicious. And I know we have to end by letting HER ask a question, so I'm a little worried. Finally, I ask her for her question.
Teacher: "Yes, Orange_Kid, I was wondering if you could tell us some of the major differences between the book and the movie."
F*CK! My heart sinks for a just a moment, and then I come up with it:
"I'm sorry, I don't know.....I never saw the movie."
I am terrible at thinking on my feet, so I'm proud of that moment.
The War...It Sucks
I was interviewing for a bunch of exclusive private high schools. During one of my interviews, the lady asked what worldly current events I cared about. I f*cking froze and couldn't think of any news story at all lol. I paused and just said "the war," and BURST out crying uncontrollably because I had nothing else to say on the matter except "it sucks." So I am crying and the lady goes "oh no! sweetheart, do you know someone overseas." And I just nodded and she apologized profusely.
When it came time for my parents to join us in the interview, she told my parents she was sorry about our family member fighting in Iraq. They just looked at her and nodded, didn't say anything, had no idea what she was talking about.
Anyways, this woman fell in love with me and said I was such a uniquely compassionate 13-year-old. She ended up calling me the night we were supposed to tell them if we were attending or not. I felt bad but I ended up somewhere else.
This isn't my biggest lie, but for some reason popped in my head.
BA In Lying
I failed my final year at university but couldn't face the shame of telling my parents. So I told them I passed. They wanted to go to my graduation ceremony so I faked an illness and said I wouldn't be able attend. This was so they wouldn't book flights. Then at the last second I told them I was feeling better and would attend. I got my buddys graduation photo and got my face photoshopped in to his. I sent this to my folks, where they framed it. 15 years later its still on their living room wall.
Obviously I had to re-take the final year but couldn't ask my folks for money. So I just said I was going to stay and look for work whilst I plan my career. Worked my *ss off that summer to save every cent I would need for upcoming year. Got a bank loan and max some credit cards. My final year was really really tough as I had to work evenings and weekends to pay rent, food and tuition. I passed though.
I went to my real graduation ceremony and felt really sad I couldn't tell my parents they could attend as I didn't want to tell them I lied.
Not biggest, but most amusing.
My wife and I were in Mexico, stopped at a convenience store to get some snacks and stuff. The clerk told her how much it was, in Spanish. My wife looked confused for a moment, so I repeated the total for her in English.
I could tell it made an impression on her. For a long time after, when talking about foreign language she would tell people how quickly I pick up on it when travelling. I know this was when she first formed that opinion.
I've never told her, I read the number on the cash register.
A 4 Year GapGiphy
There is a social circle I am in that all think I am 4 years older than I am. It originated as a way for underage me to get a drink in a bar, and well I never exposed the truth. So now a couple dozen friends and even a couple short lived girlfriends all think that I am exactly 4 years older than I am.
I have been to birthdays, engagement parties, and even a wedding with these people. I still regularly go out to get drinks with this group. We play some sports together, we watch a lot of movies, we have good times and bad.
But my life has this big 4 year gap in it that, through years of stories and questions, has become a false period. Effectively I took two parts of my life and expanded them to make the dates add up. I lived in Brazil before college, but to this group that was three years instead of one. And I lived in New Zealand after college, but again, one year becomes three. False dates for graduations, and different steps in life have been a little hard to keep track of, but I manage.
Honestly I only don't tell them because of how long it has been. Plenty of these people are younger than I claim to be, but I fear the awkwardness of exposing a lie they have believed for years.
I told my English class in grade 9 or 10 that I had tried out for American Idol, even though i'm Canadian. I was home sick the day of the tryouts, so I had a pretty good set up I thought.
One of the guys called me on my shit, asked me to bring in my "paper number" the thing that the contestants wear on their shirt to give them an "ID number"
My dad used to do bike races, he had a bunch of those things, I cut off the top that said "British Columbia Racing" or something like that and brought that in, the guy was flabbergasted.
My teacher then asked me what song I sung, So I said "I just wanted to get on TV so I sung the Pokemon Theme song!"
Teacher then wanted me to sing it, but I said I was too shy.
No one ever asked me about it again.
Sorry Brian, you got me, you deserve to know.
My best friend has a funny, cool older brother named Jason. We all went to church together and eventually me and my buddy got old enough for youth group where Jason was.
Well the first time I ever met my youth pastor, Jason turns to me and says "hey make up a fake name and just roll with it"... The youth pastor was similar to Jason in that they both were big jokesters so I shook his hand and said "Hi, I'm Derick Johnson" (possibly one of y'alls name out there, but not my real name). He welcomed me and then left to prepare his lesson. Obviously me and my buddies lose it and burst out laughing as soon as he walks away.
Soon enough he starts his lesson and I'm waiting until after to tell him I'm not Derick Johnson. Well as I'm about to break the news, Jason stops me and convinces me to keep it going. Says it'll fade out eventually.
It did not. We got super into it and eventually it became natural. 2 entire years spent of conditioning myself to only respond to "Derick" when called by people at church and my real name everywhere else. We would go on a bunch of field trips to various places including Disney where my ticket even said Derick Johnson on it.
One day we were paint balling and me and my pastor began talking about life. He asked what my dad does for a living and I talked about the software distribution company he works for. Apparently 25 years ago my youth pastor ALSO worked for the same company... and sat next to my dad who he plays golf with regularly.
That was quite a moment to get caught in haha
Secret Self Help
A couple years ago I started seeing a therapist I didn't want my parents to know about. I was 18 so I didn't need them to sign on, and I paid out of pocket with money from a part time job I had. My brother and I shared a car but since he was at college out of town it was effectively mine, and I used it to get to my therapist's office.
I went to my appointments at the same time every week and told my mom that I was going out with some friends for bingo night at a local pizza parlor. Since I actually did have a history of going out to play board games with friends this didn't raise any suspicion.
One day about a month into this I walk out of my appointment to see my mom's car parked next to mine. I think 'fuck it's over now I gotta tell her' and walk over. She's standing by her car when I walk over, I'm not sure if she saw me come out of the building but I think she must have.
She said something to the effect of "what are you doing here?" I said something like "uh" and she goes "did you come out here to be alone?" So I just went with it; put on a sheepish face and said something like "yeah, pretty much". She says "yeah I come out here too when I need to cry sometimes" I didn't know what to say to that so I gave her a hug, drove off to run some other errands, then went home.
She never brought it up again, and I continued seeing that therapist for 7 months with no one the wiser. I have no idea how my mom didn't pick up on it then, writing this I wonder if maybe she did she just didn't want to confront me about it or something. But then again I doubt it, my Mom can be pretty oblivious. Still, for those 8 months no one knew I was seeing anyone or (from what I know) suspected anything.
High School Illuminati
In high school, I convinced some of my younger friends (I was a junior, they were freshmen) that our high school had a secret society/club. I got some of my friends my age in on it too. It started out as a practical joke, but they believed me hook line and sinker so I went further. I created email addresses, a constitution for the club, and a crest. Then we actually started having meetings. Anyways, I'm in college now and my high school now has a secret society that my freshmen (now senior) friends are running.
All For A LieGiphy
My first year walking to school alone was the 7th grade and I was late a lot. It got to a point that the teachers told me I would have to do all the days chores(putting chairs down in the morning, wiping boards clean, cleaning after lunch, putting away chairs and supplies etc), if I was late again.
Well the next day I was running late as usual. Being a lazy SOB that I am, I knew I had to do something to get out of doing the daily chores. So when the teacher asked me why I was late, I thought back on the assembly we had a few weeks prior on school safety. So I told the teacher that a strange man pulled up to me when I was coming into school grounds and asked me to come with him to see some puppies.
I honestly thought that would be a good enough excuse and it would be the end of it. F*cking, NOPE. School was suspended for the rest of the day, police were called, and my parents were called in. I was interviewed for the entire day, Had to describe the man, the car, everything. They ended up hiring a security officer for the grounds because of that incident and put in a few new cameras. We had quarterly school assemblies because of it too.
And it was all for nothing. Because less than a week later I was late again and had to do all the daily chores.
Rules, rules, rules... we all need them yes, but some are just plain ridiculous. Of course life would be chaos without order, well more chaotic but let's not micro-manage every little thing. Of course every once and a while an unintentionally good surprise can spring from nonsense. Rule makers should really think long and hard before they implement anything severe. You never know when it's gonna bite you.Redditor u/TabblespoonFarmer3 wanted to know how we could apply all "the rules" into our own lives by asking... People of Reddit, What stupid rule at your work/school backfired beautifully?
Free Time<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDg5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2ODA5OTcxOX0.jfw8x_eqGqfSjc05ZesI5P-YI9oEhOSB0HVzYBF4PwY/img.gif?width=980" id="2cc53" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b70b5adb3c49f20f40e33de9256120a0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="240" />Michael Jordan Reaction GIFGiphy<p>My boss started putting "all staff required to start 15 mins earlier than indicated" on the roster. I started keeping track of my unpaid overtime and stung her for 3 paid days off. That's not required anymore. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gorkcow?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">muthaclucker</a></p>
The Drive<p>I was working as a medical assistant at a private practice medical clinic. Our clinic manager wouldn't allow the new receptionist to drive to the bank to deposit cash. Made her walk carrying the money bag so that she couldn't "drive away with the money." Bizarre. I know. That went on for a few weeks. Then the receptionist was mugged and over $1000 in cash was stolen. She was allowed to drive after that. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gorftxt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">IndyMazzy</a></p>
Bad Policies<p>Back in the early 00s, my high school implemented a policy that you had to wear your ID tag at all times. If you didn't have it on, you were sent home. So many students "lost" their ID tag to go grab food or skip a class. We were the only graduating class to wear them all four years. The policy ended soon after. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gorcqon?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sushinova</a></p>
Just Google<p>Not mine, but an old roommate of mine was a senior developer for a small company. It was an open secret that one of the other senior devs, a guy who had been there since the beginning, would sometimes spend time looking at plastic surgery photos--before/after shots, photos of active procedures, etc. <span></span></p>
When at Starbucks<p>I worked at Starbucks for like 5+ years before and during undergrad and at one point our district manager thought it was a good idea to implement a "just say yes" policy, where we literally weren't allowed to tell the customer no. Lasted for about 3 months and in that three months our unaccounted product and waste went up over 300% because when the POS didn't have a way to punch in a customer request we had to just do it anyways. </p>
Extra Laps<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDk4OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNDc2MjM3M30.UOoTP4s5njT6fwQpN7YVXhKHJWo2uD_KtN8SXJBfFWw/img.gif?width=980" id="d619f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5801e69bb7989f0ec00f31b7af769440" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />animation swimming GIF by Percolate GalacticGiphy<p>The bottom floor of my secondary school was a square that had corridor all the way around. After some incident where a kid got knocked over, they implemented a one-way system. Unfortunately, they were Very Strict on enforcing it. If you accidentally walked past your class, you couldn't just turn around. They seemed very proud of their new rule... until everyone started showing up late for class because they had to do extra laps of the bottom floor. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gor97o1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FrosnPls</a></p>
Missed Calls<p>I worked on this company that had mandatory 1 hour lunch breaks. Since we ate on the premises, our lunch break was often 15 minutes or so. We tried negotiating having shorter lunch breaks so we could leave earlier and beat traffic. Next day an e-mail was sent from the own stating the fixed work and break hours for the whole team, and they were to be followed no exceptions.</p>
Making Contact<p>A place I used to work had a rule that executive-level staff needed to be contactable when on leave, so they had a section on the leave form for the address of where you'd be staying and a contact number.</p><p>Some knuckle-shuffler in HR decided it applied to all staff and the shenanigans began. People would put down the address and phone number of sex shops, sports grounds, medical clinics. I gave the latitude and longitude of the place I was going camping and the UHF channel my radio would be tuned to. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gorbaea?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Flight_19_Navigator</a></p>
In a Mini...<p>Late 80's high school- rule was no shorts. Classmate came for an exam with basketball shorts on that were below her knees. Teacher made her go home to change. She came back in a micro mini skirt and wrote her exam. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gorb4gr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Spellflinger2019</a></p>
The Good Gang<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDk4NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDM2NTY3NX0.62DhHcplX3z9K2UTQmTu90xAA2FoUz0OEULzJrRRnAo/img.gif?width=980" id="22ea8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="da40850f9943bedaa78f06a42bc404da" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="336" data-height="237" />one piece pink GIFGiphy<p>A long while back, but my school banned the color pink because a bunch of students were wearing it one October and they thought it was a "gang" thing.</p><p>It was for breast cancer awareness month. The rule didn't go well for them. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsdkob/people_of_reddit_what_stupid_rule_at_your/gori911?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaywardWriter</a></p>
The naming process of new life is an enormous responsibility and can be an emotionally exhausting decision. This person is going to be glued to this "title" forever, or until they're tired of being saddled to it so they change it; when they're free of their parent's constant gaze. Thankfully I will never have children but I do have to name pets. And that is taxing as well. Thankfully there are people around who can set us all straight when we're not thinking straight.Redditor u/Kubanochoerus wanted to hear about some of the bad ideas they were able to help avert by asking... Nurses and midwives of Reddit, have you ever tried to talk new parents out of a baby name? What was it?
TINA!!!<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDMwMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzMzMDQ1MH0.tsr7EGvZjNsIJ22F7t7GruJyrRcQfxzwlXNwkCjXfio/img.gif?width=980" id="3f7f5" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9c6a780b51b9cd3888e7e641b0e723ca" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="360" />the best tina GIF by London Theatre DirectGiphy<p>My boyfriend's grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn't allowed because "it wasn't a real name" and his grandmother had no other backup baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming "Tina", she named her daughter Tina because she couldn't think of anything else on the spot.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/goqh9nc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">goddesswithgatos</a></p>
Poor Mo...<p>Boss's friend named their kid Monster Galileo [last name]. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer's name but guy, being a kid named 'monster' has to be rough in school. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/goqh9jz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WeaselBit</a></p>
Be Normal...<p>My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son "Collin" but wanted to give him a "unique" spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn't make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N. <span></span></p>
Listed<p>In France there used to be <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1995/11/11/style/IHT-the-ins-and-outs-of-french-first-names.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">a list of names you had to choose from</a> (mostly based on that day's name saint and 3-4 others). Which is why there were so many Jean / Marc / Louis /Phillipe / Marie / Anne / Valerie, etc in France.</p><p>Now it's a free choice.... but <em>anyone</em> can ask a judge to cancel a name-choice and force the parent(s) to suggest one <em>the judge</em> finds acceptable. So no names like Coca-Cola, Xerox, Nutella, Sex Fruit, Devil, Blue Murder... PLUS the rejected name gets added to a "banned" list to streamline the rejection in the future. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/goqavqf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LozNewman</a></p>
Dirty...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY5Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzODkzNzM2N30.tqMPtERdRpTBQfo738SJ2xd8mWMY8hqx5Z6jQg8aFmQ/img.gif?width=980" id="51b84" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b854372f0e30251184c776d4de3c6366" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Mud Caterpillar GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy<p>Not a nurse, but as a med student a patient wanted to name her child Mudpiles. The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom changed her mind. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/gopcqib?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bigpsych5150</a></p>
Midwife Down<p>I once had a student named Linoleum. Some midwife dropped the ball on that one. My brother wanted to name our soon to be younger brother Corn Peas and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad about asking for his input and then rejecting it. Fortunately, they got over that and passed on the name. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/gops5kf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">BigOrangeBall</a></p>
Hey Vi...<p>And here my mom was talked out of naming me Violet. "Sounds like an old lady" they said. I got one of the most common names of the 80's. When I went to college I lived in a hallway where there were literally 6 of us. My roommate had the same first name too.</p><p>I do like my name because it sounds good with my last name but I have only once met a Violet in 37 years and she's my friend's niece. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/gopey2v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Maleficent_Mink</a></p>
All the Dylans...<p>Not in the medical field, but a teacher. There are certain names that each teacher avoids because we've had a student (or seven) with that name who were difficult in one way or another.</p><p>One year, there were four Dylans in the same cohort and they were all hell on wheels. One of the teachers at that grade level had a baby with his wife that spring, and she named the kid Dylan. The rest of us were like, "didn't you vehemently veto that?" </p>
Oh Katrina<p>I had a coworker named Trina. When she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband had decided to name the baby Latrine. I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers defecate into. She was horrified and changed it to Katrina. Two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/goqkn8n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SpecificMost19</a></p>
Pegged<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY5MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzOTY1NTE0M30.SQZ_yuSv01Fa-4XVp2LM5aF76d34BtyCX3b-We4t3FU/img.gif?width=980" id="7e2ce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="43dd38cdba5c93d0a4e47b395da64b21" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="270" />Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy<p>I have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me 'Peggy' by the midwife. I was born missing a leg. I was given my first physical false leg in a year, but it was always obvious the leg wasn't there! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls5oeh/nurses_and_midwives_of_reddit_have_you_ever_tried/gopsck4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">orangemessy</a></p>
I sometimes marvel at how much society has advanced. Smartphones have only been a part of everyday life for the last decade, but you'd think it was always this way. My mother was a child at the time of the moon landing, which really wasn''t all that long ago, and she recalls watching it take place and thinking she would never see anything grander than that in her lifetime.
After Redditor notokidoki_ks asked the online community, "What is something that seems basic, but that humanity figured out only recently?" people shared their observations.
"That doctors washing their hands..."<p>That doctors washing their hands after going to the toilet increases survival rates significantly during surgical procedures.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp3pfd5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp3pfd5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nbfox3137</a></p>
"We are going back..."<p>Glass. Some cultures have had glassware for a long time while others developed without it. Japan and China are great examples of not having it and it impacts their architecture design as they did not have glass pane windows. China also has had arguably some of the best ceramics artisans because of the need for stone wear where glass cups would have worked.</p><p>We are going back a couple hundred years here but that's still fairly recent in terms of mankind's history.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp4b1zo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">666pool</a></p>
"Two years ago..."<p>Two years ago scientists learned that tongues can smell. They can detect some odors as part of the tasting process.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp40g3b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Cattlenfell</a></p>
"Scientists knew that nutrition deficiencies..."<p>All vitamins were discovered between 1913 and 1948.</p><p>Scientists knew that nutrition deficiencies were causing diseases, but couldn't figure out what was deficient. They fed mice highly purified food, but the mice failed to thrive until milk was added, leading to the theory that there was some life-sustaining, but unidentified, component in milk that was not present in the other food. That led to decades of speculation and research until the first vitamin (A) was discovered in 1913.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp4chtt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Enreni37001</a></p>
"There's a reason..."<p>How to tell if someone is dead.</p><p>There's a reason people used to keep family members who they thought had passed in their home for weeks before burying them.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp3t7tk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ms_khal2</a></p>
But the smell!<p>What about the smell?</p><p>This is how you know my modern sensibilities would doom me if I happened to be a time traveler and got stuck in the past.</p>
"The earliest cutlery..."<p>Cutlery that doesn't make the food taste awful, and isn't ridiculously expensive.</p><p>Gold and silver cutlery were useful to the rich (besides being a display of wealth) because they could eat without affecting the taste of the food. Copper, brass, tin etc. all really strongly affect the flavour of the food.</p><p>The earliest cutlery is some 4,000 years old, but for most of that time, very few people used it; instead they'd eat with their hands.</p><p>Stainless steel was only invented in the 1800s, and its high resistance to acid and no discernible taste made it suitable for cutlery.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp4u2e0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ishmael128</a></p>
"That hitting kids..."<p>That hitting kids is bad, and does not enforce positive behavior. Some knew this instinctively, but mostly, nope.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp3utd2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pearlescence</a></p>
"There simply isn't..."<p>A scientific understanding of what culture is and how it works.</p><p>Before the 1800s or so, people just assumed their culture was the one, single, objectively real and correct way to live, therefore all other cultures were objectively wrong and the people weren't really human.</p><p>It was common for anthropologists to encounter remote societies that insisted "The people in the next valley are monsters, they are not human" - and if you went into that valley, they'd <em>say the same thing</em> about the people you were just talking to.</p><p>That made it pretty easy for actual social scientists to grasp how cultures define reality, but even now the average person has very little social science education and people tend to still believe their cultural norms are 100% real, natural, and objectively correct - i.e., look at how angry people get when you explain that gender isn't biological, it's cultural.</p>
"People commonly think..."<p>How dogs drink water. People commonly think dogs make their tongue into a spoon to lap it up but the tongue curls backward.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp4emag?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inkseep1</a></p>
I took care of a friend's dog very recently...<p>...and now I'm poring over the image in my head of her lapping at the water in her bowl. <em>It's so cool</em>.<span></span></p>
"Pretty much everything used in statistics..."<p>Loads of math that gets used all the time. Pretty much everything used in statistics wasn't known until the 20th century. We had a good grasp of probability theory and a few distributions, but not many statistical tests as we know them today. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_tasting_tea" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The idea of a null hypothesis as it is used today wasn't codified until 1935</a>.</p><p>Same goes for a lot of linear algebra, computers kinda made linear algebra really important, so people are still discovering heaps of useful things about it today.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltz79s/what_is_something_that_seems_basic_but_that/gp5ku4h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Cytokine_storm</a></p>
Now that we've gone through all of these examples,<p>I can't help but think of others, such as the fact that the chocolate chip cookie wasn't invented until the 1930s, and that pockets in clothing didn't become a thing until roughly 500 years ago. I know, right?</p><p>Got some of your own observations to share? Feel free to sound off in the comments below!</p>
If there's one thing I think most of humanity can agree on, it's that people are annoying. People are the worst. You'd think they'd get the simplest concepts into their heads but they don't... and then they have the audacity to fight you on it. Take this pandemic, for example. Why are we still arguing over whether people should wear masks? The fact that so many people refuse to wear a piece of cloth is ridiculous when there's a deadly virus going around. What's up with that?
After Redditor moneybot13 asked the online community, "What are you sick of explaining to other people?" people shared their stories.