According to Psychology Today, "Addiction is a condition in which a person engages in the use of a substance or in a behavior for which the rewarding effects provide a compelling incentive to repeatedly pursue the behavior despite detrimental consequences." When you hear this, thoughts of drugs and gambling might fill your mind. That's not always the case, as evidenced by these people's stories.
Reddit user, u/redrockz98, wanted to hear about what addiction is plaguing your life that doesn't involve drugs when they asked:
What are you addicted to?
Loneliness Makes The Heart Okay
For me solitude. I can't wait to get off work, go home, lock the door and see no one. The twenty beers is part of it I guess.
Gotta Get That Caffeine Rush
GiphyIf we're talking physical addiction then coffee, definitely coffee. I can go without alcohol or weed or video games or reddit for a few days and it's not a big deal, but even if I sleep in and don't need the coffee to wake up, I still will feel like sh-t if I don't have some.
The Hotta' The Betta'
Hot showers.
There is no greater pleasure. I don't CARE if hot showers age my skin. Melt that shit right off.
It's A Never-Ending Cycle
Chapstick - I carry one with me always, and have never been without one on me since I was a kid. If I don't use it, my lips feel dry as a desert, but using it daily actually makes your lips more chapped. It's a vicious cycle.
The Candy Man Can
GiphySugary foods. F-ck, I never grew up.
I got hit with Type 2 diabetes for my sugar addiction. Im in good range now since I cut carbs to 20 per meal. However, my my feet hurt and buzz around the clock since I let it go uncontrolled so long. Neuropathy sucks. Dont be like me. Go to the dock and get your A1C checked. Pre diabetes to diabetes doesnt take long to develop. Might be a wake up call that helps you make the decision.
The Father Of Them All
Cigarettes... I really wish it wasn't cigarettes.
I'm not trying to be a buzz kill but I quit 20 years ago and I still think about having a smoke.....almost every day.
[usernameredacted]
Break The Cycle
I'm a sex addict.
I've spent almost $11,000 on hookers in the past 9 months since I started. I was a virgin before.
When It's The Nothing Of It All
Nothing. Not that I have no addictions, but god, I cannot stop doing nothing. I race home after work to sit in my apartment. I have plenty I could do. I'm a musician, I do graphic design, I love video games, but more often than not, I'm just sitting here in my apartment by myself bouncing between Reddit and Imgur chasing a dopamine hit so that I don't feel so empty. I'm fine though. Really.
It's What It's All About, Isn't It?
Short term pleasure.
Edit: Lots of messages are "I didn't know how to describe this, this is me." We're biologically wired this way - to seek out short term boosts like fats and sweets from a time when we didnt have domesticated civilizations. There is nothing wrong with you. That's why JP's rule 7 is seek out whats meaningful, not expedient. Denying short-term satisfaction is what introduces you to discipline. Doesn't make it any less easy.
IMHO everyone is an addict for something. It may not have the repercussions of heroin or gambling addiction, but everyone seeks out SOMETHING.
Redditor AWESOMEKITTY7364 wanted to discuss the school system's biggest entrepeneurs, so they asked:
"What 'black market' did kids at your school run?"
I know a friend who sold pickles laced with vodka in high school.
She made a killing.
Mixtures
Mix Lab GIF by BrownSugarAppGiphy"Used to crush up warheads and mix them with sugar. Sold them by the straw with the ends melted. .50 a piece."
timelydemise13
'you got the goods?'
"I used to deal in whiteboard markers for teachers in high school. One teacher had a tendency to hoard them, leaving none for other teachers. I would take markers from him and provide them to other teachers in need."
"While there was no formal payment, I was given a little bit more leniency at times (e. g. Requests to leave the classroom for a moment etc)."
"Once the marker would start squealing on the whiteboard because it was almost empty, I'd get teachers giving me a nod as if to say 'you got the goods?' I'd then supply them with the marker color of their choosing (usually black)."
"It was actually a lot of fun, and I never heard teachers talk about my systems or chastise me for taking markers."
stoic4somethings
An Unfair Edge
"I was in elementary school when pogs were big. Everyone had cool slammers and stuff but I didn't have money for good ones. My dad made one out of 1/2' mild steel for me and used an engraving pen to make a simple pattern. Everyone was asking me where I got them from."
"I didn't wanna lose my unfair edge but i also knew i could make money. My dad had a big sheet of this 1/2' steel. I told them I was the only one who could get them. I sold them for 15 bucks a pop. My dad kept 10 I got 5. And thats when I learned what overhead was."
FNC1A1
Dress Code
"I went to a private high school with a strict dress code, ties, belt, etc. So I bought a bunch of ties and belts from a thrift store and ran a lucrative rental business out of my locker."
ccrawsh
"If you forgot your gym uniform more than once, you would get fined $5 to rent a uniform from the teacher or serve a detention. I would buy an extra set in the beginning of the school year of each size, and then rent them out/wash them myself undercutting the teachers 'fine' at a cost of $3. Very lucrative over my middle and high school years."
exorthderp
Got Pepsi?
Fail Diet Coke GIF by MOODMANGiphy"I used to sell coke (the drink) because they didn't allow fizzy drinks to be brought in."
Seventy0
Everyone loves a good fizz...
Copy-Sell
King Yes GIFGiphy"The only guy in the school who's family had proper TV channels used to tape wrestling events and rent them out."
221
Knock-Offs
"I have family in NY and would go visit a couple times a year back in high school. Every once in a while we'd visit Chinatown in NYC and I'd end up buying $100s worth of fake watches (Rolex, Tag, Gucci, etc) return to school and sell them for double than what I paid for them."
firkin_slang_whanger
"A lot of people still do this. They fly off to China, buy cheap knock-offs and sell them for a huge mark-up wherever they’re from. It’s big business here in the Philippines."
Mist3rTryHard
Currency
"My school used the metallic ends of pencils as a currency. Bronze was rarest, so it was the most expensive. Green was most common, so it was the least. We traded for erasers or pencil cases or a spot up in the four square line. Eventually got banned but we still operated with people acting as banks to keep the currency hidden and to keep transactions hidden."
Flavory_Boat50
Deals
"Pokemon cards we would hide under playground equipment and trade them because the teachers would take them if they saw them. So we always set up 'deals' in class and created a whole Pokemon card trading network."
immapengoon
"We did something similar in my school. We also bet cards on matches. That got shut down pretty quick. We didn't see anything wrong with it at the time. Ahhh, those were the days."
an_elaborate_prank
Bag Full
Black Friday Christmas GIF by TargetGiphy"At my school they too all sweets out of the vending machines and replaced them with healthy snacks."
"In the local town there was a sweet shop where you could buy a kilo of mixed sweets for £5, so every week I would go there and buy £1 of small paper bags and spend the Sunday night before school repackaging them all ready for the week ahead."
"Come Monday I would go into school and load my bag up every day selling the bags for 50p."
HeisenbergCooks
Kids are shady, yet diligent.
What kind of sneaky operations did your school have? Let us know in the comment below.
Redditor Artistic_Pop_3323 asked:
"On the first date, what were some immediate red flags that made you not go on a second date?"
On a first date years ago the man I met was easily twenty years older.
Found out he used his son's photo. Whacko.
Sales Pitch
"Dude spent the whole date talking about how he used to sell drugs."
bluecrowned
"I had a first date like this, too! Guy admitted when we first met years before, he was selling drugs and was also still in a relationship with a girl while trying to go out with me."
ultravioletblueberry
That Guy
"On our first date, he told me he was in med school, at the University in the town we lived in. I knew immediately there was no med school, but thought perhaps he was taken his pre-med classes or something, so went on a second date. He had spent an hour telling me how when he got done with his military service he had worked as a military contractor doing 'spy' work in Iraq and 'if I only knew the things he’d done!'"
"We stopped by his apartment to pick something up and while there I noticed all his mail was in a different name than he had given me. I 'magically' got a text from my work, told him I had an emergency and had to go immediately into work and handle it."
"After I told him there wouldn’t be a 3rd date, he got spooky angry and I caught him in the bushes outside my apartment, late at night, several times. I eventually had to get a restraining order - in the name he gave me. After that, I never saw him again! Thank God!"
PracticeLeading2814
worst date ever...
"She was still married and said she just wanted to know if she’d 'be able to still get dates if they split up'… worst date ever."
ohmybaddudeI
"Was hit on by a married woman, not my wife though. We talked for about an hour because I wanted to see what her game was. After telling her that I was married, she got really angry at me. I thought, WTF? Is there some kind of weird double standard going on here? She got really pissed off when I asked her why it was OK that she was married but not OK if I am married."
SpecialpOps
Need to make an order...
"Few years ago met up with a guy at a bar and like the entire time he would not stop talking about how he couldn’t wait to go to Russia and get a mail-order-bride."
rainbowcanoe
"Maybe he was trying to make you jealous. Like, 'Oh no, I might lose out on this prime life partner opportunity, better make my move posthaste!'"
maygpie
Twitcher
eye twitch GIFGiphy"He was about 10 years older than his pictures, he didn't stop twitching the entire time, and he kept pressuring me to go back to his place. I noped the f**k outta there."
SandMost7515
Umm... maybe get through the first course before offering your place?
By the Knife
Mad Addams Family GIFGiphy"She pulled out a switchblade mid conversation to slice up a passing ant."
OffWhiteDevil
For My Own Good
"I was planning a first date with this guy years ago and he suggested bowling. I said it was fine, but I've done it once a few years prior and I was legitimately terrible at it. The group I was with at the time made it fun regardless of me being totally uncoordinated."
"He offered to teach me, but I said another time- I just wanted to get to know him in a relaxed environment. He suggested we still bowl, minus the lessons and he could also share in the hilarity of my lack of skill. I was down. The night came and the lessons started almost immediately."
"How to stand, where to stand, everything I'm doing wrong, I'm not taking it seriously, he's trying to teach me 'For my own good.' He became mean. Not one smile except when he saw me at the start. I told him this was not the fun/chill night I said I was looking for and he told me it would be if I took the game more seriously. He was actually angry about the whole night."
Kihana82
Order Again
"He tried to change my order with the waitress because I didn’t order what he’d recommended."
MaggieLuisa
"Oh my God, I came here to say this exact same thing! He suggested something, but I wasn't feeling it. I ordered, and he grabbed the waitress as she tried to walk away, and said 'No, she'll have [xyz] instead, thanks.' And let her go, and that was that. It didn't even occur to him that she wouldn't listen or that I'd be pissed. Walked right out of the restaurant."
starlightsmiles31
Comparisons
"I once went on a first date with a guy who was clearly not over his ex. He spent the entire time talking about her, comparing me to her, and even showing me pictures of them together. It was a huge red flag for me and made it clear that he wasn't ready for a new relationship. Needless to say, I didn't go on a second date with him."
selective_girlfriend
Slug
wrestlemania 22 eating worms GIF by WWEGiphy"He told me he had worms. Not in a casting, fishing, or terrarium kind of way. Full on internal parasites."
verite_404
"Hahaha, I once had a date graphically describe the time he had to remove a tapeworm from his own butt.. while I was trying to eat spaghetti at an expensive Italian restaurant."
Enceladus89
Oof... this is why I'll never date again. #Singleforlife
Do you have any other singles stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor red_darrow99 sought answers from strangers online and asked:
"People with sex drives way higher than their partners…How do you handle it?"
Like with many issues in a relationship, it all starts with being communicative to resolve them.
Let's Talk
"I have a relatively high sex drive, but my new partner has a lot more than I do, so for the first time I've had to say sorry, not feeling it, I felt like I failed her."
"But I communicated it to her and she understood and I think that's as healthy as it gets."
– Elijah_Wouldnt
Identifying The Conflict
"We talk about it and don’t play games about it. Neither one of us are embarrassed. I (f) have the higher drive than he does and he is very physically affectionate and lovey but there’s no mixed signals. I admit when we were first together, rejection didn’t feel great but I find that really talking with him openly and looking at this from an 'us vs the problem' instead of a 'me vs him' problem is something we are strong with."
":It’s easy to feel like it’s you versus your partner, especially with a bit of a bruised ego (which is fair to have). I learned to enjoy the cuddling and touching and kissing but really pay attention to the signs he gives. There are some things he will only do if he seems like there could be a chance for him to get into the mood."
– pwrflwor
Full Transparency
"Absolutely this. It's all about transparency, but I think you need to have this level of transparency very early on in the relationship, otherwise these kind of future problems can be very difficult to navigate. Talk to your partner. Be open and honest early on in any relationship."
– Digitek50
Some Redditors found a solution.
Relieving The Tension
"I’ve read that some people use sex to ease tensions in their life (me). Other people need to have tensions eased BEFORE having sex (my wife). So what I have been doing is easing those tensions for my wife before initiating such as cleaning, laundry, dishes, bills, etc. It eases her mind and makes it easier for her to get in the mood. Also, its good for our relationship anyway. That’s my advice. No guarantee that it will work, but it helps in my case!"
– nimrod823
There's Always The Consolation Prize
"You take matters into your own hands."
– sm12511
Reading Erotica
"If she likes to read tell her to start reading smutty novels. Holy f'king sh*t."
"My wife and I have been together 20+ years. Super high sex drives for first 15 years for both of us, basically until kids."
"Then her drive just dipped pretty low. Then she started reading these books and sometimes I can't even keep up."
"I read one of them and it's ridiculous. I don't get it, story sucked, writing sucked, but it definitely put me in the mood. And her too."
"She doesn't like to watch porn and life as a mom / worker / wife is just stressful. Reading is relaxing. Reading puts her in the mood while relaxing. Win win."
– bNoaht
Understanding His Perspective
"I never try to force my boyfriend or beg him to have sex. We just chill, and he initiates if he is actually in the mood cause lord knows I am always ready LOL. Otherwise, I take care of myself."
"It definitely hasn't been easy. I am like a once everyday kind of person minimum. My boyfriend is a once every couple of months, maybe. If he's really stressed out at work it can be a while. I felt very rejected at first and unattractive. But I had to understand it from his perspective. To him, it's not important and when you're stressed unimportant things go on the back burner. For me, it's a stress reliever so the more stressed I am the more I want it. Just like when someone people are depressed they eat, but when other people are depressed they'll starve themselves. Everyone is different."
– BysshePls
People continued sharing their experiences.
Check The Testosterone Level
"My wife has had the same issue. She wants to be more intimate, but it doesn’t come naturally, and I’m very sensitive to her feelings. One thing to check is her testosterone level. Women actually need a healthy testosterone level for procreation, and it can be suppressed by a number of reasons. For us, it was breastfeeding."
– brentnic
It's Not Personal...Sometimes
"It's frustrating and disheartening. I have to work really hard not to take it personally or as a sign that he's not attracted to me. I don't initiate at all anymore because the rejection really hurts."
– placentacasserole
Long Drought
"The beginning of our relationship was filled daily with it. 7 years later and we go 10+months between each time. I'm not handling it I'm slowly breaking.."
– CyberMech96
Marriage Might Not Be The Right Answer
"I have a high sex drive, I am very affectionate, and I create opportunities for intimacy. My fiancé is now the exact opposite, coming up on a year of communicating my needs and feelings with no feedback other than 'just not interested or not feeling it' then she goes back to her phone (little world). It’s clearly depression. A year of pecks on the cheek for kisses, and that’s it."
"I’ve asked, pleaded, and begged for her to call a Dr. To seek some help. But it’s just been excuse after excuse."
"I do love her. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me. I can’t force her to seek help when she doesn’t feel there’s an issue."
"I can feel resentment growing as I debate whether I’d be happier just with a dog in my life. At least then I’d have another being wanting to go for a walk with me and spend time with me."
– ohp250
Ignoring the problem won't make it go away.
Have those hard conversations and find solutions or make compromises together.
That's if the relationship is important to you.
