It seems like sex is the ultimate gift when we discuss the ideas of the pleasure principle. But sex is not the end all be all. I know, you're shocked. Don't get me wrong, I like sex, but... I have had better experiences while shopping. Or winning an award.
Sometimes it's all the simple things in life that bring about the most joy.
Redditor u/oooliveoil wanted to hear about how everyone has indulged in G rated joy, by asking:
What was the greatest pleasure you ever felt?
Two names... Madonna and Adele. Have you ever been to either of their concerts? It's life-changing, I promise. The tears, the laughter, the euphoria... the pleasure, it was all there.
Toasted
Happy Jump GIF by notofagus
Giphy
"I had a dream that I was a toaster. I "woke" with a feeling of anticipation. Then I made toast with pure concentration. Afterwards I was entirely fulfilled, having accomplished the ultimate purpose of my existence."
Through the Nose
"This one is kind of gross FYI - I got surgery to fix a broken nose so I could breath better, this involved having my nose packed with packing (essentially tampons) for a few weeks. It wasn't the removal of the packing that was amazing, it was the first time I blew my nose shortly after."
"It felt like a 1/2 cup of mucus was pulled directly from my brain and there was a golf ball sized result in the tissue - the best feeling I ever experienced was directly after that where breathing through my nose was so incredibly easy I felt like a superhuman who conditioned in the Andes for months of something, I laughed with excitement."
Anamolies...
"I have an extremely rare (maybe 100 in the US) genetic anomaly that makes susceptible to growing GI tract and other cancers. I just had my 45th surgery (my younger sister has had 70). It's not the anesthesia I enjoy, but the pre anesthesia drugs they give you in the waiting bed, while under warmed up blankets. Hours of near bliss and conscious to enjoy it. Gotta look at the sunny side, right?"
I'm Wet
"The greatest nonsexual pleasure I've ever felt was 32 years ago. I was swimming with friends in the Pacific Ocean at Balboa Park in California. I got wiped out by a huge wave. My friends helped me out of the water, and I went and laid on the grass underneath palm trees looking up at the clear blue sky. A feeling of peace just washed over my body. I've never felt that kind of thing again."
Unclogged
loop people GIF
Giphy
"Had sinus surgery and removing the internal splints after about a week being clogged up was probably the best thing in the world."
- IrlCakal
Reliving physical pain is an ultimate pleasure. There is nothing like the relieving of a throbbing limb. And clearing up a sinus can be life changing. Tell me more...
Warming...
Happy Socks Coffee GIF by knoopsok
Giphy
"Putting my feet on or near my radiator after coming home from a cold day."
"I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!!"
"I had a small project go wrong. As I went to fix one part, a sub-part messed up. So I had to step back to work on that. Then a sub-sub-part messed up. I took another step back. What I expected to take 20 minutes took 4ish hours. But 3.5 hours in, I thought there was no way it would work out at all. When I got it all fixed, I did the Billy Madison I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!!! I've been riding that high for a few weeks now."
People Explain Which Conspiracy Theories They Believe Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Hey Lobster...
"A pretty rich school mate treated us to a fancy restaurant for their birthday and they served us lobster ravioli for a starter. I can't explain the freaking explosion of joy and palette pleasure as I ate something like that for the first time. I don't know if it was the lobster itself, or the sauce. No meal has ever come close to how good that was. I can still remember it vividly 12 years later. Silly, but that's it."
125 Pages...
"After consulting 3 high powered attorneys about my fiancé's citizenship case, and being told they wouldn't take it bc it was impossible to win, I, a layperson spent a week, night and day, studying the law and putting together 125 pages document, received in the mail that he won the case and got his citizenship in the US."
- psychick
Day Off
Under The Covers Snow GIF by Fleischer Studios
Giphy
"When school's cancelled for the day and you're half-asleep and overhear your mother tell your sister not to wake you up because school's out. Used to leave a smile on my face before snuggling back into my covers."
Best Ever
"Probably when I began to go to the gym. The first day was very rough because I have never went to a gym before, so I was really tired. When I got home I just took a hot shower, I let myself fell into my bed and man... I fell asleep like in 5 seconds, bro I reeeeeally slept well that night. The best sleep I've ever had."
Let it Go
"When a multi-day, vomit-inducing migraine finally lets go. I swear the brain gets flooded with good chemicals after that and you feel better than normal."
- sindk
"This should be the top comment. I lay on the bathroom floor convinced I was going to just... die. The pain just takes you to another place. Waking up the next morning feeling "normal" again was the best."
"flying"
"Wake induced lucid dreaming and flying in said dream. Never felt anything more pleasurable before."
"I used to be a competitive swimmer and was a lifeguard for the better part of 6 years. I used to have dreams of "flying" at the bottom of the crystal clear ocean. I still remember the sensation, the controlled breathing, my arms outstretched just gliding along."
Manga...
"Watching people enjoy food I cooked. It never gets old."
"Oh yeah, as someone who has cooked in fine dining and it turns into an industrial feeling with out any flair or individuality is being put in the dish, when I get the opportunity to cook one of my own dishes were I have experimented and perfected it, this is such a satisfying event. I love doing this for someone, expanding there flavor palate, it's a chef's dream. Our food is our art and self expression."
"And it saved me a lot of money, and created way better experiences when I've cooked for the SO on say their bday or Valentine's day. It always seems to mean a lot to them, a lot more than some over priced dinner where I have 0 control over the outcome of the dish. At least I know when I prepare it they will love it. Because I love them and I show this through food."
Hugs GIF
I Got It!
"Getting a job offer (of your dream job) days after rounds of interview and assessments."
- ermermss
"Try months with several failed assessments, interviews, and majority of your emails being rejection emails. After almost 9 months after graduation and going ham on apps, got 3 all in one day. Biggest relief I've ever had."
"Getting a job after months of unemployment was what pulled me of rock bottom. Helped great with getting over my depression. I'll never forget those days and be grateful for it."
Merry Christmas
"It was Christmas Eve day and I was eating a pomegranate when one of the seeds became firmly lodged between molars. I tried floss and dental picks and toothpicks and the harder I worked to get it out the more firmly lodged it became. I knew I was facing being stuck with that seed between my teeth until after New years if I couldn't find someone to help."
"I called every single dentist in the phone book and finally a receptionist actually answered the phone and said they would be there until 4:00 and yes they could fit me in, and getting that pomegranate out between my molars was the best Christmas present ever."
"Spiritual State"
"This is weird, but the day I decided 100% to quit my toxic, full time job and retake my life even knowing I had no fall back. Driving two hours from my girl's house with the windows down, on a summer night with a warm breeze tussling my hair like getting a headpat by an angel, "Spiritual State" by Nujabes playing."
"This overwhelming feeling of sincerity and resolve took me over. Everything was on point. It wasn't a blast of pleasure you get when you do something cool like jumping off a 15 ft waterfall, but more of a glaze over of goodness and self care. Like my world opening up again."
The Run
Mo Farah Running GIF by Nike
Giphy
"Sitting down for the first time after completing my first Marathon... I swear that feeling was better than any orgasm. It almost made me cry."
- liaotown
Pushed Magic
"I once had a massage where I could feel what I can only describe as strings of stress being pushed out of my back. I could actually feel these things being ungrouped and pushed out of my shoulder blades. I still try and get massages when I can but have never felt that since. It was a magical moment."
That is a good list of fabulousness. Except the gym, I hate the gym. That is not a happy place, for me. Endorphins be damned.
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Ok!
Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Breastfeeding, sure no problem. Changing diapers on the table/booth/chair, no freaking way. There's a reason most bathrooms have a change table."
- LuntiX
Be Clean
"As long as you don't leave your dirty flip-flops on the table that's disgusting."
"Last week I was at a cafe terrace and I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby and afterwards changing the diaper on the table (which was a tad odd since they have a nice changing room there). After she left I noticed she left the dirty diaper on her plate, didn't even bother to close it up."
- domin8r
Silence
"A baby can't scream with a mouthful, so I'd say it's a win-win."
"My son used to do the same. The thing is his twin would get right to feeding and would stimulate the let down on his boob too, so it would be 20 seconds of screaming and 30 seconds of vague drowning noises before he clicked that food was happening."
Who Cares?
"The baby's gotta eat. Plus I don't even pay enough attention to other people to even notice or give a crap either way."
- Jikal
"I agree lol!! I've noticed moms breastfeeding their babies at a restaurant maybe a grand total of TWO times in my whole life, and I go out to eat all the time. However, I ALWAYS notice when a baby is screeching so loud nobody can enjoy their meal."
"I don't even mean just crying, I mean that SCREECH they do sometimes where if you're anywhere close to them you can't even continue talking, you just have to stop and WAIT for the kid to finish. (I promise I don't hate kids LOL this is just my opinion)."
No Adults
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"Acceptable if she's breastfeeding her baby, weird if she's doing so with her husband."
- maajyc
So far, so normal. Stay in your own conversation. If you're that interested about another person, you're sounding like a stalker.
Whateves
Let It Go Whatever GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy"The more it happens the less people will care."
Couple Issues
"I was once breastfeeding my daughter on the beach, aside from my boob being *kind of* out (mostly blocked by the baby) I was wearing shorts and a shirt, more covered than most of the people on the beach. Apparently a dude started watching me that I didn't notice and his girlfriend took offense to it."
"She started to approach me, but my mom was with us and gave her the stink eye to end all stink eyes. I have to think if they had been just a little more exposed to breast feeding this wouldn't have been anything. I'm also 99% sure that incident resulted in the couple fighting."
When in Public
"I walked with my head down the majority of my life because I felt like everyone was staring at me as I'm a very tall female. Started looking up a few years ago and realized how very wrong I was. I cared WAY more about this made up scenario in my head while assuming the worst and causing MYSELF to feel shame over it- than anyone else ever cared about my height. We're all busy doing our own thing and I don't think MOST people care about women breastfeeding in public as people think they do."
In the UK...
"I went to a mall in London, England once with a room dedicated for baby care. There were comfortable chairs and a microwave and sink. There were also little rooms with rocking chairs and low light floor lamps. Now, I would feed my baby wherever the hell I needed to, but this was luxury."
Free!
Mothers Day Mama GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I'd rather a happy baby having a meal than a hungry miserable baby screaming and crying for nourishment. I am however against the restaurant charging an opening fee."
It is what it is. Be free ladies. Whatever keeps the kid quiet, works for most of us. Do as you need.
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Reddit user QadeerRay asked:
What is an item you think should be free?
The responses were honestly a lot more varied than I expected. I was positive I'd see someone mention the places that charge you for using rain water - the literal water that falls freely from the sky - but there's a lot here that I hadn't even thought about and honestly, I'm kind of salty now.
Come, be salty with me.
Notifying People Is Expensive
creepy grim reaper GIFGiphy"Death certificates." - redrivverrunning
"For me they were $16 each - and every single company that the deceased has an account for needs a copy."
"I learned to go in person to places like banks as much as I possibly can. They make a copy and give it back to me, that way I can avoid mailing it for them to keep forever so I have to buy even more official copies." - classic_elle
"In the state where I live, they charge you $20 for the first certificate and $3 for each additional one so the funeral homes generally suggest you go ahead and order 5-6 more than you think you'll need after figuring out their accounts and stuff because it's still cheaper than getting a single extra at a later time." - SilverDarner
"The UK government does have a service where you inform them of a death, provide them with the certificate, and they'll make a best effort to inform all of the person's banks and pension providers. It doesn't have nearly the number of companies being informed that I would've liked, but it's a good start."
"What confuses me is that other companies aren't jumping at the chance to be on the notification list... you'd think it would be in their best interest to be notified if one of their customers died so they can clean stuff up on their end. But oh well." - SweatyOctopussy
"Not really, (at least in the US) they would really only need to stop billing/autopay once they are informed of the death and it is confirmed. The longer they can go without that confirmation, the better it is for their bottom line."
"Source: Work in corporate America" - TheLastFartan
Looking At You, Nestle
3D Loop GIF by Pi-SlicesGiphy"Drinkable water. Looking at you, Nestle. The company has a history of taking over water sources and that whole formula thing was gross." - Whit-Batmobil
"Nestle financially pushed for hospitals in 3rd world countries to start new born babies on 'free trials' of formula feeds so the mother's weren't feeding & their milk would dry up. Essentially forcing them to buy & continue using the formula forever."
"To make matters worse, this was done in areas with no safe drinking water so babies that were only a few days old were giving formula mixed with unsafe water & many got sick/died as a direct result when their mothers could have just breastfed them safely and for free."
"Even when Nestle was alerted to this (as if they didn't already know) they refused to change their tactics. The company is scum." - now_you_see
In Public
bathroom GIFGiphy"Using public toilets in Europe." - pretty_pumpkin
"Personally, here in Germany I find it is counter-intuitive. I think people resent having to pay for a toilet, and treat it like 'Alright, you're going to charge me €.50 for a pee, I'm going to get my money's worth then and just piss everywhere, because f--- you for making me pay to pee.' "
"This I find is especially true with toilets where the cleaning is 'automated.' On the other hand, you go into a lot of department stores, or a mall, etc, the toilets are often attended to by a person sitting just outside the entrance. Payment is usually optional (i.e. there is no turnstyle you have to unlock by putting money in), but it is typical to put €.50 or so in the dish on your way out... and in those cases I find the bathrooms very clean."
"Other bathrooms, particularly those along the autobahn, are actively serviced, but have a payment turnstile thing you have to go through. You can then use the receipt from the turnstile at the fast food and snack shops which are a part of the building, and you'll get the amount you paid at the bathroom deducted from your purchase."
"But overall public bathrooms are just terribly hard to find (paid or otherwise). Public pissing is common and basically unavoidable. You see it and smell it regularly." - Mozambique-Ready
Insulin
michael douglas greed GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Insulin industry is actually hijacked by three companies and they're doing all they can to keep it's price high."
"It's not a luxury. It keeps people alive! Show some humanity."
"• Eli Lilly, Novo Nordisk and Sanofi are the three companies that dominate more than 90% of the world insulin market by value. This means that they can set prices as they wish."
"• Production cost of insulin is about 2% of it's market price."
"• Unlike any other medicine, there is no generic insulin. Insulin is still under patent after 37 years. 'Big three' producers are abusing legal loophole for over 4 decades. (Known as Patent evergreening)."
"• These companies make profit of worth billions. Not to mention they're spending millions on lobbying politicians and donating to other decision makers to keep quiet."
"• They pay another companies not to enter the market. Or they sue them. That's what happened to company called Merck. Sanofi sued them." - DogDisguisedAsHooman
Standard Bathroom Care
tampons ugh men GIF by DiggGiphy"Uhm tampons and pads in public restrooms, schools, etc. Freak I'm a penis carrier and even I think that sh*t should be free."
"You would be mad if you went in to a public restroom and there was a coin slot for the f*cking toilet paper."
"I don't think they should be free off the shelf. Everything requires money to make so in reality nothing is free, but this should be standard care in every bathroom just in case." - TripleThickBacon
We're Not Here For Fun
season 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy"Hospital parking. Oh, dad's dying? Doesn't matter. 5 bucks." - bdd4
"Where I live you go in for free, but they do charge to leave. If you get your parking validated, (pretty much just saying you had a reason to be there as a patient or visitor) you get to leave for free."
"They had a huge issue with people parking there for free, but not even being there for the hospital. Just a place to park as they did business or shopping downtown where the hospital is located." - Howling_Fang
"You're gonna love this. We as hospital staff have to pay to park the hospital as well!"
"I am close to graduating from a medical program and some area hospitals hire from graduates of our school's program over other applicants so they have meetings at our campus about working there and benefits, etc"
"the cheapest parking package they offered, which is still a MASSIVE hike to the door is $50 a week, the most expensive being $100 a week."
"They made it a point to highlight that their staff ride all the city buses for free with our ID cards and they bring you to the front door, so that's something at least." - xBlackx_xDahliax
The Dreaded Paywall
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Scientific articles. They're mostly behind a paywall."
"You can either subscribe to certain journals so that you have access year-round ($ depends on the specific journal), or you can pay for access to one article at a time. The latter is usually about $30-$50."
"As a scientist, this has always irritated me. People on social media everywhere reference blogs and other non-scientific articles, which are, of course, ill-informed and non-scientific."
"We should be linked to science journals when we Google - but then every time we're interested in some topic, pay $50 to read about it?? That's ridiculous."
"Even news media reporting on interesting results from science pubs get the results mucked up. You really can't trust anything but the peer-reviewed paper itself." - BrahmTheImpaler
"I firmly believe this is one (of many!) reasons why the US is full of anti-science/anti-intellectualism rhetoric."
"We keep information locked behind paywalls, creating yet another socioeconomic barrier for attaining knowledge. Even if the desire to learn is there, it means incredibly little without the ability to access the information." - sayhellotojenn
Buying My Info Back
Confused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy"Schufa Auskunft."
"This private company in Germany just collects all your information (like a credit score) without your consent and the you have to buy all that info back from them because otherwise no landlord will ever accept you."
"There is a free Schufa you can request that once a year (so bad luck if your search for a home takes over a month) and it's also not the full one. Some landlords still demand the full one." - GreenKangaroo3
Seeing Is A Luxury?
Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphy"I have insurance and I still have to pay (in my opinion) too much to just be able to see."
"It's not a luxury, it's a basic need. Also, my sight changes all the time so I can't even get a nice pair and be set for the next few years. If I'm lucky I'll get to keep a pair for 1,5 to 2 years before I absolutely need new glasses." - Proper-Literature173
"I think it's weird that vision and dental are separate from health insurance. Like seeing and chewing are just vanity." - FistedTate
"I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this, I passed 3 waters and chicken nuggets. Why does it cost money to see? And I have 20/20 vision so this doesn't affect me." - Tian_Lord23
So tell us, what you YOU make free for everyone if you could?