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Wouldn't it be nice to re-experience being a kid, when the world was full of wonder and the darknesses of life were totally unknown?

faguetteuse asked: What's the most innocent question a child has ever asked you?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


10. Seems reasonable.

My five-year-old sister ran up to my very stern, stiff upper lip Baptist preacher grandpa and asked really loudly 'Grandpa do YOU have a penis?'

His response was 'Yes I do and it's mine and I don't want to talk about it.'

I asked him about it 30 years later, thinking he'd laugh at the silliness of it all. His response was 'I still don't want to talk about it.'

Annieisabitch

That's.....honestly probably the best answer to the question. Affirms curiosity and honesty, while also setting up boundaries of appropriate social interaction.

Terribleattitude

9. We have a word for it.

Daughter: Why do I have two butts?

Me: Two butts? What are you talking about?

Daughter: Why do I have a back butt and a front butt?

d0gf15h

8. Only kids have siblings.

I was working at a daycare and was waiting for my sister to come pick me up and one of the kids asked me "you have a sister? I thought you were a grownup."

gobypoem

I feel like I thought the same thing when I first met my aunts.

rahws

It took me until I was 10 to find out my grandma was my mother's mother.

I didn't know what else it would've been, I just didn't put 2 and 2 together until my mom addressed my grandma as "mom."

PM_ME_UR_GALLADE

7. Awww... unless...

I was staying with my sister and in the morning my 3-year-old niece crawls into bed with me, just chilling. Out of nowhere, she tells me, "Nana [her father's mother] is in heaven." I agree, yes she is. Then she says that her and mom are going to see her one day. Again, I agree, I'm sure you will. Then she asks me, "Do you want to come with us?"

EverybodysSatellite

Be careful it may be a threat.

Nathanma67

6. 

From my four year old niece: "Daddy, where's my f*cking bah yoon"(balloon) My brother: "what did you just say?" 4yo: where is my f*cking bah yoon?" Bro: "you can't say that word!" 4yo: "bah yoon?" Bro: "no that words fine, you can't say the other one."

She was so sweet and genuine when this happened it was adorable. I love that for a moment the thought "balloon" was that bad word here.

throwaway61419

Well she heard it from SOMEWHERE...

theimage1028

Oh definitely from my brothers mouth. :)

throwaway61419

5. Not a bad guess...

When I was 22 I had surgery done to my leg. In the days that followed I stayed at my mom's house. One day I was changing the bandages to keep the stitches clean and dry, my sister, then 3.5 years, sat and watched. She did not say a word but was without a doubt fascinated by the wound. I suppose no one had bothered to tell her about the operation, cause out of no where she asked me "Did you hit yourself on the bookcase?" She probably thought that in order to get such a large wound, one had to really get hurt, and to colide with the bookshelf in the living room was probably the worst pain she had experienced in her whole life. It was the most adorable thing I had ever heard.

tofubeken

4. Ooof.

With wonder and admiration in her eyes, a 5yo girl asked me: "How did you get those pink spots on your face?"

I was a teen with acne.

MuseHill

3. This heroic kid.

"Daddy, what would happen if I come home and find Mommy dead?" My youngest boy asked this a couple years ago about his epileptic mom. He volunteered to be home schooled to be able to babysit her, and has called me to come home during a seizure four times since, very possibly saving her life.

loonidood

That child is an angel, I hope he understands the impact he has had on his mother

urmomgay9966

As the son of a mother who had many epileptic seizures as I was growing up, I think you're doing the right thing. My parents always made sure to explain to me what was going on and the reasons why it was happening to her (I still imagine "brainstorms" as epileptic seizures sometimes and laugh when I do this).

My father had to work out of state for a couple of years and was only home on weekends and I was given the same responsibility of being the "adult" in case of a seizure scenario. It helped me feel like I had more control of the situation if I was able to help and be given the responsibility of taking care of her. I'd hope your son feels the same way.

I won't dare say it wasn't frightening the first time, but honestly has allowed me to handle extremely stressful situations as an adult without becoming emotional or panicking.

homepup

2. Manners still exist.

Kid came into the engraving shop I worked at in a mall. He was about 4 and was enamored with the book of fonts we have. He read them aloud and asked me if this was a giant book of the alphabet. I said yes and he sat in the floor reading quietly while his mom shopped. Few minutes later he asks me "Ma'am? What is this letter, it looks like a T, is it?" and he was so cute and polite I almost melted and then I gave him a mini lesson on the Greek alphabet.

Best part was his mom saying his name when I was speaking to him and he goes "Thank you for teaching me ma'am, I have to go, goodbye!"

I have never seen such a nice and well behaved, intelligent child.

goldxoc

1. What a sad rule.

One of my students (a female) that attend the preschool that I teach at once asked "Why am I allowed to hug my girl friends and not by boy friends?" This came from a two year old, in my one year old classroom. Our policy is to prevent opposite gendered children to exhibit physical communication. Hugging included. The rule still shocks me, and disappoints me.

PurpleDragon1319

It's sad when kids are right but we can't tell them.

Leeiteee

That rule strengthens the divide between the sexes thats already there. Instead of people learning it through implication, they're actively indoctrinated into the poisonous school of thought from the start of their education.

onfire9123

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