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Parenting was just never going to be my thing. I just never had a yearning for. And that was just based on the basics of parenting.

Now when I hear tales about children and their disturbing behavior, I'm even more appreciative of my decision.

I've watched enough Dateline NBC to spot the red flags of a budding serial killer. No thank you, I already spend a fair share of time dodging adult psychos running around the streets.

I don't to sleep with one eye open because of a three year old.

Redditor u/Jayhawk_00 wanted to hear about the kids that maybe are just a little less perfect and little more creepy by asking:

Parents of Reddit, what is the most disturbing thing your child has done?

Chucky had to based on a real life kid. Don't you think so? Every character ever written has a muse. And it's not always Child's Play. I have seen with my own eyes children who you can sense are slightly... off.

"sleep walking"

"My 12 year old will occasionally scream while sleeping. It makes your hair stand up when you get woke from a deep sleep. I have also woken up in the middle of the night to see him standing right next to my bed. Sometimes just facing the wall or staring at me. He is always "sleep walking" and I can escort him back to bed. Trouble is, I never know how long he has been up. He never remembers any of it."

- Niteryder007

Crazy Repeat

Giphy

"Put a very hot pepper in his mouth. Cry. Wheeze. Cry again. Exclaim that he hates it. Then proceed to do it again. Didn't cry the second time. The hell?!"

- Forced_Introduction

Knives Out

"Woke up to my Mom's house mates kid (5 years old?) Sneaking through the house with a 10" chef knife at like 2am. He gave me the knife and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was afraid of "the man who walks around in the yard at night" and said he was out there now."

"I hyped up both my dogs and we searched EVERYWHERE. Yard, shed, barn, under the house, etc. Didn't find anyone. Super worrisome. The next morning I told his mom and she was like "oh yeah, he just does that sometimes. It's like his monster under the bed or whatever." She just put the knives on a shelf he couldn't reach."

- unknownsliver

Velcro Scares

"Perhaps not disturbing, but terrifying as a parent. We were on a vacation in Chicago staying at a random Fairfield Inn or something downtown. Our bed was separated by a divider in the room and two of our kids were sleeping in a pull out couch on the other side. Around 3am awoke to sounds of velcro and it sounded like my kid was putting his shoes on (he was)."

"Next thing I know I hear the hotel room door opening. I leaped further than I thought possible across the entire suite and was able to grab him just as the door was about to close and pulled him back into the room. He was sleepwalking, but I shudder to think what might've happened if I wasn't roused by the sound of him putting on shoes."

- Mike_ZzZzZ

Sicko

puke GIF Giphy

Puked on the stairs "go back to bed I'll sort it out" Sob "I can't, I was sick in my bed" "OK, well, you can get into mum and dad bed while I sort that out as well" Sob sob "I was sick in there as well."

- Savings-Lemon5901

Yeah, now I'm never even going to babysit. I'm not putting my life on the line by watching little Johnny for the evening while you run out to see a Marvel movie. And drink bad wine.

DYE!

Easter Bunny GIF by Omer Gal Giphy

"When my daughter was about 4 and it was approaching Easter, she said "I want to kill all the Easter eggs."

"My wife and I were, like, "uh... what?"

"She said "I want to kill all the Easter eggs."

I said "What do you mean?"

"She replied "You know, dip them and make them all different colors."

"I said "You mean DYE the Easter eggs."

"She shrugged and looked at me like "Yeah, duh ya moron."

- StillN0tATony

People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

"Oh no, he's here! Run!"

"Was having a house party a few months ago. My friends came over and brought their kids. My wife got a bouncy house for them to play on. All the adults were inside eating food and chatting. Some of the kids were outside playing on the bouncy house. I realized that at least one adult should be out there with them, so I left the adults and wandered outside."

"As I was getting closer to where the kids were playing, I started hearing some rhythmic chanting coming from their direction. I got suspicious, so I decided to sneak up on them and see what they were doing. Four of the children were holding hands and bouncing in a circle in the middle of the bouncy house chanting "Evil rules! Evil rules! Evil rules!"

"I stood there in amazement for a minute trying to figure out what game they were playing. One of the girls in the group suddenly looked in my direction and screamed "Oh no, he's here! Run!" All the children scattered and ran away. To this day, my son still won't tell me what they were doing."

- ToyDingo

Bad Brother

"3.5 year old threw literal rocks at his helpless newborn sister in her car seat because he was mad that we were leaving the park. Kids do some messed up stuff. She had a couple of small scratches and was crying but nothing serious. Stuff like this happens so quickly that it's unavoidable when you need to do things like go to the bathroom or put a bag in the trunk of the car."

"Young kids usually just really don't understand the consequences of actions like these and it's impossible to foresee every weird impulse they will get to say a preemptive no. Like maybe your sister saw your mom cracking eggs earlier that day and thought the baby's head look like an egg or some other random whatever. Parenting often feels like a series of near misses and choosing the least bad of many not good options."

- Representative_Bad57

a demon circle...

"The other day, my 6 year old daughter and I were sitting on a bench and she started drawing shapes in the air with her fingers. I guessed the shapes and we laughed. Then she got serious and drew: a circle, a triangle, and a ???? I laughed and asked what they were and she responded, "it was a circle with a triangle and eye inside... it's a demon circle." Then she laughed maniacally. I was a little creeped out by the randomness, but I love my demon-summoning monster."

- DeadUnicorn0229

Hitch

season 3 thumbs up GIF by Portlandia Giphy

"My 3 year old stuck her thumb out on the main road as if to hitchhike I was shocked and I asked where she learnt that from, she said she used to do that to get around when she was a big girl. That was creepy well for me anyway."

- Any-Difficulty-8694

The Grinch

"I came here in hopes of feeling better about myself and my son (4yrs)... But here we go. My son, for over a year has been afraid of something green in the same spot on the ceiling. He continues to tell me, "shh, don't wake the Grinch." At day care, he has face stomped a kid at nap time, because he took a toy horse from my son on day one at the day care."

"Used a toy stethoscope to choke a kid ( because he wanted the toy) when I tried to explain how it hurt the kid, my son told me, well he didn't say anything. No child, he didn't say anything because he couldn't breathe. Yes, we are in therapy."

- sunshine11187

"Who told you that?"

"Back at the turn of the century my wife and I were sitting downstairs watching a movie. Our daughter who was about 4 was playing upstairs. We hear her come down stairs and she walks up to the couch and tells us something weird. I don't remember what she said but it made one of us ask "Who told you that?" She replies with "The little boy up in my room." She is an only child and there was no friends visiting."

- MrJim911

Flames...

scary movie burn GIF by Us Giphy

"I'm not a parent. But when I was younger I set my room on fire and tried to get my grandparents to lie."

- Sebastianmichaelis16

A Touch Off...

"I'm thirteen years older than my sister, so I basically functioned as a third parent, and I've always thought she was a touch off. When she was about four or five, she had a phase where she kept tying her toys together. I'd come in a room she had been playing in, and she'd have a string wrapped around a toy horse's neck, then wrapped around a lamp, then wrapped around a doll's neck, then wrapped around a chair leg--and there'd be several strings and ropes tied in this way."

"Literally the entire room would be a web of toys and strings. It looked like a child's version of a SAW movie, and it was a pain in the butt to help her clean up. One day when I was watching her I told her not to do it, she agreed, and then I came back in not too long after and she had somehow done it anyway."

"She was sitting in a chair looking at me indirectly, like she was nervous. I was irritated and asked her why she did it after she said she wouldn't, and she said the most future-serial-killer sentence I have ever heard: "Sometimes I just do things and I don't really understand why I'm doing them."

- zanmato1109

"Among us"

"My kids all talk in their sleep. One of them (14) can be pretty distressing because it almost always sounds like he's crying. Recently though, for some reason him and his brother (13) just go around saying "Among us" for no reason… constantly. One night last week, the 14 year old and my 6 year old talked in their sleep and just simply said "among us" and nothing else. I guess that's progress though."

- Fiftywords4murder

Below...

"My son used to sleepwalk occasionally when he was little (6-8). One night he came over while his dad and I were sitting on the couch and told us "I dont like the people in the basement. They're too loud." Good thing the couch was brown because someone may have pooped in my pants right then."

- Waterproof_soap

Let's Streak?

"Not a parent. Older cousin who lives with younger cousin. He's a sweetheart and lovely. He was 4 at the time, he's now 5. He said at breakfast, out of the blue, "Today is a good day to go on a murder streak." No one here is allowed to watch that stuff."

"He showed me a drawing of him looking in a mirror and in the reflection a demon was there. He pointed to the demon and said "That's me." He ended up getting a mental evaluation. He's fine, just creepy. I don't have a picture. I can redraw it and post it if you wanna see it."

- Suspicious_redditor_

Asleep...

"My daughter has what I can only assume are nightmares. She doesn't recall them at all, and is still sound asleep when it's happening, but when it started I would hear her little voice getting louder and louder "no... No! Help [mom or dad]" Daddy rolled in hot the first time it happened, I was ready to ventilate someone. She was sound asleep."

- WoWLaw

Poor Bob

"My son 4 yrs. Old loved watching the price is right, this was when Bob Barker was the host, anyway my son would clap, yell with excitement along with the audience. When someone would lose he would be so disappointed for them. Until one day he got so pissed off, I was in another room, he's yelling throw the old man in the dryer. I came out asking what wrong. The lady didn't win the washer and dryer, my son is mad and wants to burn poor Bob in the dryer."

- shell1212

Mr. Howdy?

The Exorcist GIF by filmeditor Giphy

"My son makes this funny noise with his voice every once in awhile. When my daughter tries to imitate the noise she sounds like Reagan from "The Exorcist." The creepy part is she does it when she's in her crib, talking herself to sleep at night. 😳"

- robarian1

Demon circles? What is this "The Exorcist?" How much you want to bet the little girl in that movie was in on it with the devil? Now I'll be side eyeing and ready to mace any kid that even sneezes in my direction. Trust no one.

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