When my brother was about 10, he almost killed himself trying to act out a fight sequence from the Mortal Kombat movie. I laughed (which I got grounded for) - but in my defense he totally yelled "GET OVER HERE!" before he fell.
So we were leaving the movie theater and my brother is about as hyped as you'd expect a sugar-high child who just saw a cartoonishly violent martial arts film to be. He spots a railing and decides he is going to try to reenact the Johnny Cage/Scorpion fight scene - but he's gonna be all the characters because I'm a lame sister who doesn't want to play. (see also: get punched repeatedly)
He climbs the railing, makes it to the top and shouts out Scorpion's tag line, "Get over here!" Which ensures a whole parking lot full of recent movie-goers turns to face him.
It's important to note that my brother had been training in martial arts for several years at that point and his form was impeccable. So he pulled back his arm and threw a proper punch, pivoting on the ball of his foot and rotating at the hips to throw his body weight into it.
get over here mortal kombat GIF Giphy
Except he was standing on top of wet railing - round wet railing. The hip twist flung his feet out from under him with enough force to flip him into the air like a pancake and send him slamming to the ground.
I swear y'all I saw him falling in slow-mo like with dramatic classical music and everything; the crowd slowly gasping, reaching out in vain, trying to warn him to just not be so dangerously awesome.
But it was too late. His rat-tail flapped in the wind as he plummeted.
One Reddit user asked:
And so now you have a whole article full of ... this stuff. Enjoy the laughs. You probably won't get grounded, but if you do it'll be totally worth it. Take it from me.
Bugs Are Yucky
My dumbest was when I was trimming trees. I saw a nasty looking bug on my left arm and tried to swat it off with my right hand while still holding the saw... there was a lot of blood.
Okay this happened when I was 17. Me and my boyfriend were hanging out at the time and it was really late and I was searching for something to eat. I found a bun and needed to cut it open. I looked around and could only find the biggest knife in the kitchen.
So I decided to hold the bread with one hand and use the knife with the other kinda holding both in the air ( why idk why) and sliced right through the bun straight into my hand. I was in so much shock I could only call for my boyfriend just holding my now gushing bleeding hand. He came in freaking out and I had to stay calm even though I just sliced straight through my hand.
My parents were wasted and my dad tried to tie a fluffy sock around my hand. When he did that I tried screaming but nothing came out it was terrible. In the end I somehow got to the doctors and I got a burger after so hey I'm an idiot.
I was trying to film myself bench pressing to check my form, but from a bird's eye view. So I put my iPhone hanging off the edge of a bar directly above where I was laying and started recording.
Forgot to take into consideration, that when I re-rack the bar, it's going to shake the home gym setup I have. Well it did, and the phone came down directly onto the bridge of my nose. It was the corner of the phone that hit me and opened up a small gash but it was deep, and bled A LOT.
The video was me benching, the phone crashing into my face and then onto the ground, then a very audible "AH FCK!".. I deleted it out of embarrassment right after and I really wish I kept it.
I still have a small scar there years later, derp.
Back in High School, I used to bear crawl around the track for a workout. This lead to a seriously gnarly blister that covered my entire palm.
I went to a friend's place and we were trying to play Xbox, but I couldn't grip the controller. So I ripped the blister completely off, leaving a completely raw palm, and washed all the liquid away. I asked him he if had any antibiotics spray to clean it.
We checked, and the closest thing he had was leather cleaner that said "kills 99.99% of germs!"
So I'm like, yeah that seems legit. Sprayed it on my hand, and all's I remember is hearing the hiss it made on my skin before I blacked out and hit my head off the table. Didn't have a concussion or anything, but had a headache for a few hours.
I worked as a loader for UPS in the late 1990, the semi trucks, not the brown trucks. We had little "Safety Phrases" we were supposed to follow, courtesy of OSHA. One was, "do not lift packages by straps or bands."
Who follows the safety phrases?
I lifted a heavy package by the plastic straps. Both straps simultaneously snapped. I punched myself in the nose with all my strength. My nose exploded with blood. Of course, my load partner nearly injured himself laughing his @ss off.
Scarred By Chef
Ravioli can. It was the pull tab type but it wouldn't come off easily and I gripped it near the top to hold it down. Finally the lid released but it did so quickly and ended up slicing my left index finger/knuckle open. What had happened is the metal lid had extra ridges in the front, so it wasn't properly cut at the factory, and those little teeth tore into my hand.
I have about an inch long scar over my knuckle, it's faded over the years but Chef Boyardee has branded me for life.
Coffee In The MorningGiphy
Came out to make coffee in the morning. Thought I could feel heat coming from the stove. Touched the hotplate with the back of my hand to see what was going on. Second degree burn. Yep! Left it on the night before.
9 year-old EMT's
I got a cut on my leg from furniture and my 9 year old friend decided the best way was to hot-glue it shut. 9 year olds should never do first aid.
Was taking a shower at a hotel. Tried to squeeze conditioner out of the little travel bottles they give you. But it wasn't a squeeze bottle, it was one of the ones you just have to bang against your hand until the conditioner comes out. Lo and behold, I try to squeeze the bottle with soapy hands. It shoots out and hits me in the eye. Literally knocked myself out. My eye swelled shut. Good times.
Not A Heart Attack
I over work myself. I ripped the cartilage lining in my chest from moving to many heavy drums. I moved around 300x50lbs drums. Pulling them off pallets and restacking them. Next day my chest was sore. Didn't think about it. Went and moved a bunch of 125lb drums. Again next day chest really hurt. Next day filled a 20 yard dumpster with pallets. Next day massive sharp pains in my chest.
Thought I was having heart problems. Went to the doctor. Heart checked out fine. I try doing certain movement. Agonizing pain. Tells me it'll take 3-6 months to heal.
Me being stupid, I kept working plus doing things in the weekend. Took over 2 years to heal.
Kneeled on a broken biscuit that was hidden in the carpet, 3 stitches in the knee. It had probably been sitting on the floor for a month. That sht is sharper than it looks when they're broken up.
When I was 12 my dad got me a brand new katana. It was just steel and cost maybe a hundred bucks. My dad said to only take it out when he's supervising. He handed it to me and my dumb ass head decided to press my thumb on the blade and slide it across. The scream was ear rape.
When I was like 3 or 4, my dad was mopping the floor in the living room, and I was sitting on the couch and mt dad told me not to walk on the floor because it was wet. At the time of this, I had a buzz lightyear doll that had those attachable wings, and I had left it on the ground.
I went to pick it up off the floor, and surprisingly it wasn't too slippery, so I attached the wings to buzz, then the stupid 3 year old in me kicked in and I started running around the living room with buzz in my hand (like he was flying). That's when I slipped in an almost cartoon like fashion onto my leg. I thought I was ok, because at the time I didn't feel any pain, so everything was fine.
Well, a couple days later whilst at my baby sitter's, she reported to my parents that I was limping. Long story short, they took me to the hospital for an x-ray, and it turns out I had a hairline fracture in my right leg. They put a cast on me and sent us off.
A Painful Lesson Not Learned
At the age of ten I was in a playground and wanted to go down the slide. To get faster I put sand under my butt. I got so fast that I flew out of the slide, landed on the concrete floor and broke my coccyx.
The worst thing was that I tried it again a year later and broke my coccyx for the second time.
15 years old, decided that it was a good idea to bike as fast as I could after a deer. Long story short I rode the edge of the sidewalk, and caught my tires, flopping myself face first into the sidewalk.
Stood up and said "I'm fine" but my friends were all looking at me weird. Turns out I absolutely tore my chin in half and bled all over the sidewalk. Got 16 stitches in my chin, still a nice scar that gives me a good laugh whenever I look at it.
Had a nightmare in which i was being chased by a dog. So just before it bit me I threw a punch which woke me up ... because I had hit the wall next to my bed so hard i cut my knuckles' skin open with the rough texture of the wall's plaster.
I bled quite a lot and almost broke my fingers.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
I love characters I love to hate.
Even when I hate them I can always find the reason they're involved in the story, so I find it difficult to want them to be erased.
Certain characters flaws and the most heinous decisions are written to further story and bolster the audience's love for the heroes.
So as much as we loathe them, we need them; much like our enemies in real life. That is what makes compelling drama.
Redditor u/nekoandCJ wanted to spill the tea on the characters we could do without in our favorite stories by asking:
People of reddit, what fictional character do you hate with a passion?
The list is long for me. It all starts with the guy who shot Bambi's mom. Lord, to this day that is still traumatizing. But she had to go to give Bambi a story. And Michael Douglas's character in "Fatal Attraction," what a putz. He got what he deserved. But how else would we be able to sympathize with Glenn Close? Even though... well y'all get it.
Family FailHome Alone Christmas GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Kevin McCallister's uncle… "look what you did you little JERK!"
"Percy from the green mile, that freak can DIE IN THE MENTAL WARD!!"
"That was what was so good, there is a Percy in every large group and more that one in any team where failure isn't punished, like a government job working at a prison. He was a great comment on humanity."
Love Sharon Though
"Ginger from Casino."
"Major kudos to Sharon Stone, her performance made me utterly loathe that character. She was a manipulative junkie who tied her young daughter to a bed so she could go out to score. I wanted to reach through the screen and choke her."
"Loathe the character, but that performance is absolutely god-tier. Helluva an acting job. Her and Pesci just freaking nail it to the stratosphere, playing thoroughly unlikeable characters in the absolute most realistic way. Ginger is the holistic ideal of the gold-digging party girl. And Pesci is that moron Dunning-Kruger guy we all know."
"Manny from Diary of a Wimpy kid I think there's a while subreddit about that little monster."
Call a Doctor!Giphy
"Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. My favorite antagonist ever. Louise Fletcher was perfectly cast for the role, too."
Ohhhh... good choices thus far. Although, I found Sarah Paulson's Ratched more detestable. You know who else is a mess? Elmira Gulch. Love the Wicked Witch. Hate Elmira! Go figure...
True Evilthe sopranos hbo GIFGiphy
"Livia Soprano made my blood pressure rise every time she was on screen. Great acting. Mission accomplished."
"I will say, I've seen Comic-Con panels with him and his smarta** sense of humor fit Micah perfectly. He may have hated the character, but boy oh boy was he a fantastic casting choice. As were all the main cast, for that matter."
All the Drama
"When I tell you I stood up and cheered when I originally saw Heather from Total Drama Island finally get booted out of the competition. 'Twas a good day."
"Season 1 I HATED her and loved when she lost her hair. But then it was more of a love-hate relationship with her. She's a fun character. Owen, now that monster I hate. Loved him season 1, but then he just got reduced to fat guy who farts and contributes nothing."
"Craig from Malcolm in the Middle. He's a selfish, annoying coward. Like the episode where he's injured and he makes Lois drive all over town to different restaurants for him. I love when the helper monkey turns on him, that's what he gets for treating it like crap. I especially hate the episode where Hal asks Craig to help him buy a comic book for Malcolm."
"And Craig also makes Hal drive him all over town for different meals and treats and gifts, then when Hal dares to ask when they're actually going to the comic book store Craig flips out and demands to be let out of the car and says he won't help Hal anymore. Like come the hell on, I just want to slap him."
"Do you need a cough drop, Dolores?!"
"I loved Umbridge for the simple fact that she brought out McGonagall's savagery like no one else, and it was glorious."
"Voldemort is just another generic, pointlessly evil type of character that only seems to exist in fiction. Umbridge is the type of tight @ssed bureaucrat that mimics the actual villain in many average people's real lives."
This thread could be endless. So many villains and loathesome characters so little time. But Lord the drama is good!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Everyone has their own little quirks.
What's the weirdest thing you find attractive?
Perhaps the thing you find the most attractive is completely unnoticeable to the average person. As in, if you weren't looking for this one tiny, small, completely negligible thing, you would never notice it.
But these people did.
Whip It Back And Forth
"My wife had shoulder length hair for a while. Once, when I called her name and she did the hair-swish-smile thing, I just about f-cking died from cuteness."
Little Stragglies Of Cuteness
"The neck, when a woman has her hair up and those little bits of hair curl around."
"Seeing a girl have to stand on her tiptoes to do basically anything, especially to hug or kiss me.
I think it's the cutest thing ever"
Then there are those people who find things attractive that, on first viewing, someone else wouldn't see as "Wow, that's a real turn on!" However, you have refined and cultured taste. Of course you'll love it when someone's bones stick out a little bit.
"Collarbones. Can't even explain it. Just a shirt low enough to show a pronounced collarbone."
"Omgyes! Protruding collarbones and (at least imo) hipbones are crazy hot! It doesn't have to do with them being skinny though! Slightly curvy people can also have really nice defined collar- and hipbones!"
Controlling A Massive Machine
"My husband reversing the car. He puts his arm around the passenger seat and looks over his shoulder...."
"Oh, man, I love watching people drive. The arm-around-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing for sure, but also just people driving in general. There's just something about that focus people get when they're behind the wheel; the way their expressions are usually passive, but their eyes are attentive... oh man. I'm with you on this one for sure."
Someone Has A Thing For "Teen Wolf"
"Long canines. The teeth, not the species.
Not unnaturally long like vampire fangs, but just enough that they're longer than the rest of the teeth."
"Huh, weirdest compliment I've gotten from a guy before was that he liked my 'pointy teeth.' This was at a bar and it made my coworker do a double take."
Then there's these, which you may not have known did it for you, but after reading these there's no going back. You're hooked, now, and that's okay. Embrace the weirdness.
I See You Are Also An Individual Of Class And Substance
"Chokers, f-ck those things stir up something primal in me"
"Ah I see you also grew up in the 90s and watched buffy the vampire slayer..."
Wait, That Seems Pretty Obvi-Oh, That's Why...
"Guys who wear glasses.
For some reason I think it's sexy when we're making out and he has to take them off."
Seems Like You Like Everything They Do. Which Is Great.
"I like when women have to go pee really bad and do that dance. Yea it's weird.
Or when you successfully feed your girlfriend at the appropriate time of day and she does a little dance or starts humming a song as she's chewing.
I like watching the daily skin care routine as they furiously and rapidly circulate their little raccoon sized hands in various nonsense that I'll never understand"
Everyone is different. Everyone has different tastes. Everyone has things that speak to them. These are all perfectly acceptable, and steering into them might actually help you along as you continue your search for a viable romantic partner. Don't shy away from the things you find sexy. Embrace them. Be happy.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
When we're kids, we expect the adults in our lives to notice everything, know everything, and maintain a just, sound moral order.
Psh, don't hold your breath.
Whether it's a teacher, the parent supervising a playdate, or mom and dad at home, kids expect them to have eyes on the back of their heads.
That way, when a kid gets into a spat with a peer, has something stolen, or feels a quiet emotion, the adult in the room will respond with full knowledge of all the facts at play.
But adults are just human beings with a limited bandwidth in their heads. Half the time they're doing other things when the incident goes down.
So they weigh in as best as they can with the limited info they receive--usually in the form of two screaming children pointing at one another.
Curious to learn about the times when the adult got it wrong, Redditor Butterat_Zool asked:
"What minor injustice was wrought upon you as a child that you're still salty about today?"
Many people talked about times when a prized possession was stolen, destroyed, or squandered. Sure, things are just things.
But to kids they mean a whole lot.
Covering Her Tracks
"We had a special arts and crafts week when I was about six, maybe younger. I made my dad a Christmas stocking out of clay, because I'd always thought it was unjust that he didn't have one. It was going to be my Christmas presents to him."
"I took it to the teacher to show her, and so it could be fired later. She methodically destroyed it by balling it up in her hands, and then tried to put it down to a brain fart. I was shocked, but mostly I wanted a replacement stocking, since it was meant to be a gift. I asked her to remake it for me, since she, a teacher, would be allowed to use the clay any time, but I only had a few minutes left."
"The next day I was told I'd been bad and I wasn't allowed to participate in the arts and crafts week any more, and that was that."
No Help From Pa
"When I was 4 I had a little red rocking horse necklace. It was my favourite. I wore it to a puppet show my dad took me to one day and took it off and put it beside me."
"The kid next to me picked it up and wouldn't give it back. We fought."
"My dad told her dad he didn't recognize the necklace and let her take it. I'm 45 and still salty."
In-School Pawn Shop
"Teacher took my 2ft long pencil and sold it to another student."
"Yup. A few teachers at that school sold supplies like pencils to students. It just so happened that this one was taken from me because it was 'too distracting' "
All Them Nintendos
"When I was younger I wanted a Sega Dreamcast. My parents wouldn't just buy it for me, since 'I already had enough Nintendos.' I got a job at Hollywood Video. I couldn't even drive yet, so I would ride my BMX to work in my tuxedo uniform."
"When I saved enough money, I told my parents I was going to buy it myself. They told me no. When I asked why, they said it was to teach me that I can't always get what I want, even if I can afford it."
"I bought one anyway and successfully hid it from them. Every night when I went to 'bed,' I'd hook up the Dreamcast and play as quietly as possible. I still give them sh** for that decision, but they stand by it."
Other people fixated on the times an adult embarrassed them in front of multiple people. Of all the examples given, these are enough to make you really worry about some of the people watching kids out there.
"We were on a field trip to some Washington forest and the ranger started asking about products that grow in or are made from forests."
"3rd grade me who had just discovered in some Ranger Rick article that latex rubber comes from tree trunks confidently raised my hand to share."
" 'Uh rubber from trees, now that doesn't sound right does it' and she moved onto another. 35 years later and the salt is still there."
"In 4th grade our teacher told us to write a paper about what we thought of our school, now our school wasn't great and I was homeschooled up until that year and struggling with the change so wrote about my frustrations and how I was generally unhappy with it..."
"...and she insulted me in front of everybody until the point that I cried and then told me I should get up and read the paper to the class, I refused and she made me rewrite that paper until it was positive, you know instead of trying too help me with the problems I had"
Don't Cross a Paleo Nerd
"I was failed on an essay in English class because my interpretation was incorrect. The poet was describing an airplane and they asked us to figure how what it was being interpreted or anthropomorphized as."
"I was a paleo nerd and chose a pterosaur, because the author described the engines as screeching, and heaving, wings outstretched but still, etc. This was in 6th grade and in my essay I wrote 'and pterosaurs weren't like modern birds, they certainly didn't chirp!' "
"The teacher specifically read my essay out loud to the class as an example of something bad and wrong and 'incorrect.' She also didn't know what a pterosaur was or how you say pterodactyl. Big Salt could mine me until the sun explodes."
And finally, others shared the times they found themselves doing the wrong thing, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. The adult only saw a snippet of a much broader context of behavior.
And the minimal knowledge led them to punish exactly the wrong person.
"Someone's phone went off in class, so teacher demanded that person turn their phone it. No one budges. She holds us in class for a good 20 minutes into the next period antagonizing us about this phone that rung. Eventually she let us go and warned all other teachers about this phone incident."
"My 8th period teacher then gets involved and antagonizes us all again. Said he was gonna stand out in the hall and whoever knows anything to report to him. Some kid went out there and said it was my phone. I got yelled at, got written up for Saturday detention, and later that year found out the kid who told on me was the one who's phone rung in class."
The One Time
"In kindergarten, we sat on this foam mat made out of large puzzle pieces, and we were all assigned one. My puzzle neighbor, Tommy, threw his garbage onto my square. Every time I pushed it off, he'd put it back."
"I eventually got mad and told him to knock it off, and the teacher noticed and yelled at me for throwing garbage into his square. I sat out for the rest of the day and my pin was brought down to 'bad day'. I accidentally broke his nose on the metal spider a few weeks after during tag, though."
Pulled In to the Chatter Hole
"Once a week, in kindergarten, they would pick a name of a kid who would win a toy. Only good kids could participate."
"I was alway a good kid, but not really lucky. My name got picked only once in the whole year. That day, unfortunately for me, I was next to a kid who would not shut up during the lesson. I spoke once to ask him to please stop talking. Guess who the teacher chose to punish for disturbing the lesson? That's right. Me. Didn't get my toy."
Until some kind of horrifying technology comes out that allows adults to see and know every facet of their child's existence, tiny injustices like this will proliferate.
But perhaps those couple slights are totally worth the freedom of adults that don't know everything we're up to.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Modern medicine is a marvel. It's the reason why we've been able to effectively eradicate some serious diseases and improve the quality of health care around the world. When you take these two things into consideration, it's easy to see why vaccine hesitancy can be such a frustrating topic for people right now.
Many people would not be able to survive without the benefits of modern medicine. That's what we learned after Redditor forevernostalgic23 asked the online community,
"If modern medicine didn't exist what medical condition would have died from or been severely impacted by?"
"Bad vision alone would have made me terrible at most things."
I had bad vision until my early 20s. I second this.
"I would have had a very short life..."
"I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age seven. I would have had a very short life without modern medicine."
Having known many people who live with diabetes, I am glad that they are still here.
"I probably would have died..."
"I probably would have died at 6 years old from strep throat."
This is a big one: In the past, it commonly killed many people. And guess what, it still does? The CDC estimates approximately 11,000 to 24,000 cases of invasive group A strep disease occur each year in the United States, with 1,200 to 1,900 of those cases resulting in death.
"I was born..."
"I was born with a bilateral abdominal hernia and amniotic fluid in my lungs, no way I would have survived infancy without modern medicine."
"My brother and I..."
My brother and I were bitten by a rabid farm kitten when we were 6 and 4 years old. Without the foresight of my grandfather who had the cat tested and modern medicine creating the vaccine, my parents would be childless."
Frightening! I saw Cujo as a child and that told me all I needed to know about rabies, thank you very much.
"I would have gone deaf..."
"I would have gone deaf from recurrent ear infections as a child and then died at 14 from pneumonia."
"But since that..."
"I was born two months premature, so I'd likely not survive that in an earlier era. But since that, nothing."
"Mom and Dad..."
"The way I was born. Mom and Dad had to feed me through a tube down my nose the first year and a half."
"If the recurrent..."
"If the recurrent tonsillitis didn't get me, my appendix would have been the end of me as a teen."
"Neither kiddo nor I..."
"Giving birth. Neither kiddo nor I would be alive without emergency surgery."
Amazing, right? Be grateful for modern medicine––there are new developments each and every day. And who knows what the future has in store for us? Will there be a cure for cancer? Alzheimer's disease and dementia? The sky's the limit.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!