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People Divulge The Stupidest Thing They Did Because They In The Mood

"No, you don't understand. It made sense at the time."

People Divulge The Stupidest Thing They Did Because They In The Mood
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Embarrassed_woman.jpg

Libidos lead to many of life's great mishaps. Doesn't matter the age, the idea of "getting some" can cloud your judgement and lower your inhibitions, leading to some amazing stories for people to read on the internet.


Reddit user, u/Terrazor, wanted to know about that one time you did something stupid because of your horniness when they asked: WARNING: Some stories NSFW.

What was the most stupid thing you did because you were horny?

Parking Tickets? Worth It

My boyfriend and I were long in a long distance relationship in college. He drove his parents car to visit me and he got two $60 parking tickets in one hour on Friday night (he got the first ticket and moved the car to another illegal parking area). Because it was his parents car, they got the notices in the mail.

And his dad said "ok so obviously your blood was going somewhere besides your head last Friday evening..."

xeoph

400 Mile Drive? Worth It

Got in the car at 8PM on a Thursday night and drove 400 miles to Colorado to see a girl. Then drove back at at 3PM on Friday. Stayed up for like 30 hours total. Most of which was driving.

Still got some action though.

gmanbuilder

Procreated? Worth It

Got married and had two kids with the worst person possible.

lacks_a_soul

Fiberglass Insulation? Worth It

Friend of mine took acid, then punched a hole in his wall and stuck his penis in It.

Jokes on him though, there was fiberglass insulation in the wall.

weak_sauce_tempt

$1000 On Porn? Worth It

Spent 20 bucks worth of bitcoin on a video because I didn't want my parents to find out (linked debit account), two weeks later bitcoin exploded. So I spent about a grand on a f-ckin video that I only watched one time...

Doomb0t1

Prom Night? Worth It

Junior prom night, age 16-17.

I sat in my car and beat it in my girlfriend's parents driveway before going to the door to greet everyone, just in case we had sex later that night, I didn't want to disappoint.

I was paranoid that someone would look out the window and see me, so I did it really subtlety, and held my phone to my ear so it would look like I was on the phone with someone instead of just sitting in my car.

We ended up getting married, and she thinks that's the funniest story ever.

Trevor_From_Kentucky

No, Really, Paying For Porn? Worth It

Signed up for a subscription porn site because it seemed like it'd be waaaay better than the free amazing porn all over the Internet.

wilsondatgoodboi

Purchase Hot Pockets? Worth It

Heated up a hotpocket to a luke warm temperature.

You can use your imagination to fill in the blanks.

ScrunchJeans

Just A Good Ol' Fashioned Group Sesh

Wasn't directly me, but I guess I was involved. I was a freshman in high school and part of the Methodist Youth Group. Every year we went to the "big city" about 200 miles away to go to an amusement park. Stayed in a nice hotel, etc. I don't know how the hotel was convinced to let us do this, but to save money, all the guys shared a room, and all the girls shared a room, so basically we were sleeping wherever we could. I put together a couple of chairs and slept on that. Around 2 in the morning, I'm woken up by the TV. All the other guys had decided to charge a porn movie to the room (this was the late 80s - no internet). I couldn't see anything without my glasses and decided I'd rather sleep. Their plan was to get up early and go pay for it before the chaperones were up.

You can probably guess how that went.

Busted, and we got yelled at and our parents told. Fortunately, mine believed me that all I could make out was a fuzzy image of a silver haired buxom woman on top of a guy before I went back to sleep. Now that I think about it, I hope there was no group masturbation session between the guys watching the movie...

TlalocW

Asking Your Parents For Help

I was 8 or 9 at the time when I came up with this ingenious ploy, but I am not entirely sure if it was driven by being horny. Boobs were the goal, though, so it counts—right?

Computers had really just become mainstream and my parents had just bought one. I had gotten the idea that maybe I could look at boobs online. The only issue was I did not know how to spell "naked women" at the time, but I knew who did—my mom! My 8 year old self runs to the kitchen and asks, "Mom, how do you spell naked?" and she explains it to me. I run back to the computer and type "naked", thinking I have struck gold, but I quickly realize I don't know how to spell "women." I scamper back to the kitchen and ask, "How do you spell women?" and she spells it out without skipping a beat. About the time I make it back to the computer, she yells at me and asks what am I doing. I hear her walking down the hallway towards me and I quickly close out of my search and pull up disneychannel.com and explain to her that I was playing a spelling game.

Thinking back on that experience, I was never interrogated any further on that. I'm not sure if my mother bought my story or just pretended like that never happened.

5Oh12

Ah, Man, It Ruined The Dodgeball League...

Had sex with a girl I didn't like who I was going to be living right next to for most of the next year. This was in college, she was in the same coed dorm as me. The next year was like social dodgeball until she banged one of my roommates and I figured she couldn't really get mad at me for ghosting her anymore.

There was a super awkward moment when I walked in on her and my roommate making out, we just stared at each other and he had no idea what was going on,

hackulator

Using Craigslist For What It's For

When I was like 25 I moved to pOrtland from Virginia on a whim. I hadnt been laid in years and was desperate so I trolled on craigslist casual encounters (this was before tinder and all that sh-t) and sure enough I found some woman who let me come over and eat her a-- for like 30 mins. thats all i did. I didnt enjoy it either but I was desperate. I went back a few more times as well. SHow up, eat her a--hole, leave...

humblebrag

Imapirateship

Bathroom Fun

So I ended up having sex in a public library restroom. She decided we'd do it in the women's restroom and once we were finished the walked out and a lady walked in. So for some reason, I acted like I was disabled and then ran after "my carer"

inidooH

Quick, Before Your Family Gets Back?

Probably not the MOST stupid but I was getting home from a trip with my family at the time. We stopped at a gas station like an hour or two away from our house at about 1:30 am. I cranked one out as fast as possible in the car while they were in the gas station

Markers_hill

Breaking Not Just One Law

When I was 15 I was in a rush to lose my virginity. Not much more needs to be said but I'll continue. My girlfriend had hit me with the "I'm home alone" so without a license I drove my car over to her house. Figured in case things got boring I could trust the good ok skyf vodka so I had that in the trunk of my brothers car. Then 45 mins later I got to her house got super drunk and had sex.

I then realized the time and that I had to be home soon so I drove 45 mins drunk as f-ck back to my house. I broke 3 pretty strict laws in a matter of hours and coukd [sic] have gotten seriously injured on the way back just to lose my virginity to a woman that ended up being one of the worst mistakes of my life.

thetresking

As Long As Her Mother Knows?

This one is not from me, but my girlfriend. Once when she was younger she used a rock to masturbate with it.

She ended up getting it stuck up there, but it eventually came out when she used the bathroom. Her mom still jokes about it

Melonbark

List 'Em Out!

Oh God I have many....

Sex on the dance floor. This was at 130am so club was packed.

Sex in the women's restroom of a shot bar.

Sex in a study room. There was a window in the door so you could clearly see inside.

Sex in a freshman corpse dorm. A little context of this, freshman are required to keep their doors unlocked. Anyone can walk in. And if you're caught having sex, it's a huge no no.

Sex in a car multiple times.

Masturbating with a vacuum cleaner.

Masturbating with hand sanitizer.

Masturbating while driving.

Sex while driving. A lot easier than it sounds.

Driving 3 hrs for mediocre sex.

tron1620

Bullets Flying At You? Worth It

Rubbed one out during a firefight in Iraq.

moneycomet

Can I get more details on this one?

Tr3llis

Most firefights are quick but some can last a long time. Particularly when you are pinned down. After hours on edge you need to stay awake somehow. So sometimes you gotta stroke the battle horn.

moneycomet

Finding Out Your Sexual Preferences? Worth It

Flew 1200 miles to go see my girlfriend of 6 years who I found out had been cheating on me for 3 months. She basically said "yeah oh well". Instead of leaving, I went down on her and had sex with her.

Then I felt dirty and used and disgusted and pretty sh-tty on the flight back.

Then I realized I have a thing for being dominated.

Now I spend a large chunk of my paychecks for dominatrixes.

my_shirt

H/T: Reddit

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.