Humans are dumb. I'm not being mean that is just simple, scientific fact. Sometimes we're just gonna act a foul. Or our brain is just going to malfunction. Don't panic. It is also perfectly normal to be a bit... scattered. Life is hard.
Redditor u/IMA_COW_IRL wanted everyone to fess up about all the times they've used a few more brain cells than they usually do by asking What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?It Burns....
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I applied hair removal cream meant for women on my testicles. I can't tell you how much pain I was in. I was in the shower at a friends house and I couldn't even ask for help. Air caused a burning sensation. So I switched off everything and just lay in bed.
I also dumbly sprayed myself with pepper spray. But that's another story for another time.
Going Up?
At work we have glass elevators. Once, a guy was inside as I approached, so he was trying to press the button to open the door to hold the elevator for me.
He accidentally pressed the button to close the door instead.
I could see him inside panicking as the doors slowly closed, and as the elevator started to ascend he put his hand out to gesture an apology.
For some reason, the sight of him and his hand gesture slowly floating up in the elevator made me laugh so much.
Being a Kid
When i was about 8, i was walking out of school, i picked up some pink fairy floss (cotton candy) off the ground and put it in my mouth. It was insulation.
Hahaha. Reminds me when I was a kid around that age, my cousin and I were hitting each other and playing around in insulation lying around when construction was being done on his house.
We learned the hard way that day.
Holed Up
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I've shared this before on similar threads but I can't get over how dumb it was.
I turned my pants inside out after noticing they had a hole in them, thinking the hole would be on the inside that way.
The Worst Part
I tried free climbing down a 20 ft rock wall towards the top of a mountain on Oahu with no climbing experience. Ended up falling right off of it, but there wasn't much space to land. So, I took an 80 ft tumble down the side of this mountain before I slammed into brush strong enough to stop me.
Had to get airlifted off the mountain to a field where flight for life took me to the hospital with a broken wrist, broken humerus, shattered elbow, ruptured diaphragm, broken ribs, and a laceration on my spleen. I got lucky it wasn't my legs or head or neck.
Worst part is if I'd have been patient I could've taken the little trail down next to the rock face that I climbed.
NO!!
My sister once told her boyfriend she lost her phone, while on the phone with him, set down her phone, scoured the church for her phone, returned, picked up her phone and said, "I can't find my phone anywhere."
And yet that's not the worst my family has done.
My dad once stopped mowing the lawn to tell me to put the lawnmower (big red lawnmower with an 8 foot deck) onto the trailer so when he was done mowing the lawn we could tow it to the next location. It took a bit of explaining why I said, "No."
Don't Jump
In a wedding I was alone, probably 13yo, exploring the space which was filled with beautiful gardens, when I found a large space, it's ground looked wavy like a skateboard park except it was black, I figured it was plastic so I jumped on it.
It wasn't plastic.
It was a net covering a biga** water reservoir and I sank in it knees deep before I got right out. Went back to my parents and no one noticed my legs we're super wet before they finally dried out, and my crazya** story I never told anyone stayed buried in my memory... Thus far at least.
The Flash
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I was looking for my phone lighting up the room with a flashlight on phone...
The Toot Maker
Decided to mask a fart with a cough during class one day at school. Coughed, fart came out a second late. It was a cheek slapper. Then immediately proceeded to blame the kid next to me. Everyone knew it was me, and I still cringe about that moment to this day.
Dive In
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When I was younger my friend and I were messing around in my basement when we found some chemicals used in swimming pools and whatnot.
We started playing scientists and began mixing them all up in random ways and to this day I'm still surprised we didn't blow ourselves up or melt our faces off. Good times.
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But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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