Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
I've injured myself so many times in the most innocuous ways, it's a freaking miracle I'm still breathing. I've caused myself the most harm when trying to perform theatrics to music in the shower, on the train, in my bedroom. I have to frequently remind myself that I'm not Beyoncè. Other times just walking down the street can be a death sentence, even when being completely alert. You never know what may fall from the sky to trip you. We really all should live in a bubble.
Redditor u/Trxxi wanted to see who was willing to admit to the times they've been too stupid to walk and talk simultaneously by asking.... What's the stupidest way you've injured yourself?
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Danger Hours
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODY1NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNTcyMzA5NX0.49B5F7ulD0Hy_U0BL7bM9dfbLXVt_AxSuwHnIWYCduk/img.gif?width=980" id="a077f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="72ccc1fe7732b8aac5aaf222bad7b410" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="282" />the ice pirates shaving GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy<p>Trying to clean the facial hair out of my razor, I sliced one of my finger tips slightly open. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Less than a second later and irritated with blood dripping onto the sink, I quickly attempted to the clean the rest of the razor exactly same the same way with my next finger, resulting in another slight slicing.</p><p>In my defense, it was <em>very early</em> in the morning and I wasn't yet a coffee drinker at that point in my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh0rv5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AnotherJasonOnReddit</a></p>
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Bullseye
<p>Put a knife into a slingshot to shoot my buddy in the butt. Believe it or not, there was no ill will involved. The idea popped into my head and my fourteen year old brain thought, 'Holy crap, that sounds hilarious!'</p><p>Fortunately, the knife slipped and completely opened up the space between my thumb and forefinger. Internal stitches, external stitches and a thing that held my hand in place for a while.</p><p>I felt dumb, it hurt badly, but at the end of the day I'm so happy I hurt myself instead of doing some serious damage to someone else because I wasn't thinking things through. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh1e8s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">helplesscougarbait</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Bumpy Slumber
<p>I've told this story before, but here's once more.</p><p>I was sleeping one afternoon, and all my weight had fallen on my arm. As a result, my arm fell asleep too and got dead numb.</p><p>The phone started ringing and the sound somehow blended in my dream, causing me to dream about a fire alarm going off. I got panicked in my sleep and that panic continued when I realized that the ringing wasn't just in my dream, it was happening for real. So I popped up, sleepy and confused, and started running towards the source of the noise.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Comically enough, my arm was so numb that it was beyond my control and was flailing randomly by my side, crashing onto nearby walls and furniture as I was running towards the sound. It was like running with a jelly-like arm - think what happened to Harry Potter in HP and the Chamber of Secrets when Lockhart deboned his arm accidentally.</p><p>Anyway, I don't know which of the billion crashes and bumps was the one that did the job, but that's how I dislocated my pinky. It was a good hit and my finger stood at a really weird angle afterwards, so I had to go to the doctor to put it back in its place. Hurt like a *itch too. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh0a6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">I_hate_traveling</a></p>
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Lean In
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODY2Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzkxMjM0Mn0.P5KKwnPmtZ60oKgGICat4lH3nrVRr9XHzSXGhxN5J0A/img.gif?width=980" id="2ba79" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4e1b3fe9fde56230f79ad374e36d395d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="285" data-height="285" />oh no fire GIFGiphy<p>I was baked and baking and couldn't see the meat thermometer, so I leaned in and grilled my face a bit, I still look a bit like John Marston. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh0q8v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">throwawayMambo5</a><span></span></p>Chin Fluff
<p>The first few weeks of boot camp I was still learning to shave properly (I turned 18 while I was there and only had a bit of chin fluff). My face wasn't used to daily shaving and I started getting this really itchy dry crusty skin around my chin. We'd also been issued ultra fine grain sandpaper for polishing the brass parts of our ceremonial uniforms. I had the bright idea to smooth my face out with it one morning, which actually worked really well. Took the dry itchy skin right off. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>And a few layers underneath, which didn't hurt at the time but stung like hell about 30 minutes later during a dress inspection. And was apparently really visible because the parts I'd polished were swollen, red, and slightly bleeding. The drill staff were (in a way) impressed since no one else had sandpapered their own face before, so I guess I hold some sort of record in that regard. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh2cv1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">StAUG1211</a></p>
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The Stabbing
<p>I was cutting a wire tie off a couch a month ago and stabbed myself in the wrist with a steak knife. Got a tetanus shot after that one.</p><p>Okay edit since this apparently is getting attention: I got the TDAP shot from my local pharmacy and it didn't hurt that much. It was a $400 couch from Wayfair for my grandmother. And I was not cutting toward myself I was cutting straight forward but the force I used sent my right hand towards my left one in a weird hard to describe with just text way. It was a sucky day. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdgyefs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FiragaFieri</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Overnight Idiocy
<p>Working overnights years ago. Had gotten home and threw a TV dinner in the oven. Sat down and was watching a movie. Couple hours later I'm still sitting there watching tv and I think "Man I'm hungry... I should make myself a OMG my food!" Luckily there was no fire and the smoke wasn't bad until I opened the oven. The tray was shriveled and everything was little black chunks of coal. I didn't injure myself that time but just another dummy thing I've done in a long line of dumba**ery. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdhi8wo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RumPullForceKin</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Body Says NO!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODY3Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzQ4MTMyNH0.UHqrahFsFJaJ_cU2inj_H9ksztncClEDiyeN_PgZAOI/img.gif?width=980" id="92352" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="29229fd103755a3ccff86f5458d9cbcf" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="373" />Back Pain GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>I destroyed my back putting on socks one morning. I couldn't move without spasms for over a week.</p><p>To be fair, I had done a lot of snow blowing and shoveling in the prior days but the socks were the last straw for my back, apparently. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh1th6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">supernewf</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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For the love of Ice Cream
<p>So my son wanted me to open his ice cream bar. You know the good humor ones on the stick. I was standing next to the kitchen table. I dropped the ice cream and when I moved my hands down to catch it I hit the top corner of the chair with my wrist. Broke two bones in my wrist and spent weeks in a cast. I caught the ice cream though. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh2sqg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Vlvthamr</a></p><div id="taboola-mid-article-1x1" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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15 Feet Below
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODY4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNTA1NDkwNX0.tzW8bX5spFWot-za3OLomYmKhLjH9P2rGeDD78nMN1g/img.gif?width=980" id="6dfe2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b95151147e6a5bfc3899e5f5925b7a43" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="390" data-height="480" />meek mill falling GIFGiphy<p>I fell about 15 feet off a balcony while in university and trying to hit on a girl. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Was very drunk and didn't realize how thin the railing was. Got "Hey..." out and over I go. Got my arm caught in the bars on the way down, messed up my shoulder, and landed on my hands and face. Broke or sprained all of my fingers.</p><p>Not a good night for this guy.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k0b08k/whats_the_stupidest_way_youve_injured_yourself/gdh3etl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SVS4385</a></p>
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People Divulge The Outright Dumbest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say
November 23 | 2020
Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay
You can't be serious? I have lost track of the amount of times I've said that to someone, and then nobody specific. The things that fall out of people's mouths can be shocking. Certain oratory moments make you regret having ears. Like how do some humans function? I wish more people would acquire restraint before they speak, or become a mute.
Redditor u/VandalM was hoping everyone would share all the things they wish they could un-hear by asking.... What is the outright dumbest thing you have heard someone say?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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PUSH....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMDA2MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Njg4NzIzMX0.1QQbniTChLE2RAtm03rrM7-tIPIkpnl7DE78e4e_FSY/img.gif?width=980" id="8c846" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4876f5b76c03560eb5ba62965f2c6fca" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Season 5 What GIF by FriendsGiphy<p><em>"Pregnancy doesn't have to hurt. It's a myth that it does." </em></p><p><em></em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3pyr5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Saxsquatch365</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Stop the Babies!
<p>From a pregnant girl in high-school:</p><p><em>"Smoking doesn't affect my baby because it hasn't developed its lungs yet."</em><em> </em>This was about 17 years ago. For a catholic school in small community we had surprisingly progressive sex education classes that started in fifth grade. Sex-ed was then taught as a part of the more general health classes that started in middle school and continued through to the end of high school.</p><p>As that was the case for us, I don't know what the answer is to cure that kind of ignorance.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd42wrh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aardvark1231</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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many many many kids....
<p>I work in bankruptcy. One day, a new potential client came in. He was in his mid 30s. He was a truck driver, and had been for about 15 years.</p><p>During this time, he'd fathered more than 10 children all over the United States, like he was setting up franchises, or something. However, he'd since settled down, gotten married, and he had two kids with his wife.</p><p>The only debt he had was unpaid child support, but it was in the amount of over $50K. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>There was nothing we could do to help, as child support obligations can not be eliminated in a bankruptcy.</p><p>But at one point in the conversation, he actually said to me, "I can't afford all this child support, I've got a wife and kids!"</p><p>Yes sir, you do have a wife, and many, many, many kids. That is an accurate statement. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd41ksy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArmyOfDog</a></p>
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No Crusts
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMDA2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMTM1ODM4M30.dZjPo1SbDvrAg08Up7eznE158244Vd7mENm5Wv39zs4/img.gif?width=980" id="eda93" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="32e50817d0d1c32ea2b315a0d7fb555e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="360" data-height="240" />Judge Judy Reaction GIF by Agent M Loves GifsGiphy<p>When you toast white bread it gets healthier for you because it turns it brown like whole wheat bread.</p><p><strong><em>Edit:</em></strong> same guy told me I should put my TV on a stand and off the floor because the heat from the TV will coagulate around the bottom and around the TV and mess it up. Yes he used coagulate. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3p5bm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sparkylocal3</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Look out Below
<p>One guy tried to prove to me that you can jump out of a falling plane when it is low above the ground and survive by doing a somersault. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3hs6m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RSF-guy</a></p><p>Someone once told me that as long as you land on your side you will survive. I think if I'm ever in a situation where I'm falling with no parachute with no chance of being saved, I'll do a somersault and land on my side. I'll let you all know how it goes. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd4b7g0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> rleash</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/rleash/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p>Language Arts
<p><em>"You know, if we had lost the Revolutionary War, we'd all be speaking English right now." </em></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3i6ns?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MozzellJames</a> </p><p><span></span>I was once in a lift* in Vegas and the most yokel redneck I have ever seen asked my mate where we were from and then followed.it up with a classic...</p><p>"Oh ya'll from England, what language do you speak there?"</p><p>I had no follow up</p><ul><li>You may know this as an 'elevator' but you are wrong. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd4r1b9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Engels33</a> </li></ul><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Let's Pray
<p>Catholics weren't Christians and didn't celebrate Easter. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3d17b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Elbatcho</a><span></span></p><p>When my very Catholic dad came across anti semitism in a book he was reading to me and my little siblings, he would stop reading, point to our pictures of Mary and Jesus that we had, and remind us that all the first Christians were, in fact, Jewish. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd5kv0v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanttotalktopeople</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Tuesday?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMDA2OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDExNjU0NX0.8MvJJMYmyrWYHUzpb5ImpiC-BaBK8wy9pQSPMSSUPJs/img.gif?width=980" id="7c1d4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="dbe19ef91bdd0b0a34f7ed1279c632a3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="493" data-height="365" />friday the 13th 80s GIFGiphy<p>What day is Friday the 13th? -My 24-year-old brother. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd40bdb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">kaczmarek224</a><span></span></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
How Healthy
<p>My flatmate saw me scraping the burnt bits off my last piece of toast. She gasped with horror and shrieked,</p><p><em>"OMG do you have any idea how carcinogenic that is?!"</em></p><p>I suggested she go finish her breakfast cigarette outside and then we'd have a conversation about carcinogens. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd460tc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArtisFarkus</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Oh Daenerys
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMDA3MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDgwMTYyMX0.CFx55zgMXkNTiulO0xGF3MW-oV8v9XEbM4FCzP2LFMc/img.gif?width=980" id="ead43" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c284afc31004ad0d3c81173b3127d300" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="253" />game of thrones deal with it GIFGiphy<p>Heard someone saying dragons were extinct. lol </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3rj8b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">immajustgooglethat</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sounds Like....
<p>'Q... for cucumber' </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3tmrq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CheeseIsExcellent</a></p><p>W for Why.<br>A for Are.<br>E for Eye or Ex.<br>C for Cue. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd55pa5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">UpsetMarsupial</a></p><div id="taboola-mid-article-1x1" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The "Eyes" Have It...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0NzIyNS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1OTM5NTk3N30.Fg0ZslEuJ-qzhYUm6IXbRru13ZnIAeAa7ZnaUYG5j5g/img.gif?width=980" id="ca887" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="29d677c1c87e5f639f4ed7f4ca737276" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="345" />saturday the 14th bats GIFGiphy<p>Was working retail and tried to make a joke with a customer that I had "eyes like a bat".</p><p>He chuckled, I thought all was well until he looked up at me and said, "Bats don't have eyes."</p><p>Shook me to my core. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd491as?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">YEEyourlastHAW</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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When have YOU had to work?
<p>"If someone can't find a job I don't see why they just don't go back to school, get a degree, and apply for better jobs."</p><p>Guy was 27, very sheltered from a wealthy family, and had no clue that you need income for the time you're in school.</p><p>Kick on top was he thought all colleges everywhere in the U.S (where he lived) were free. He thought they were like public libraries, just walk in, grab books and sign up for whatever classes you want. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3opz3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">03throwaway03</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Location. Location. Location.
<p>My ex-gf once asked why the nazis went through the hassle of the Anschluß, because "Austria is a different country, and how did the Army even get here when they only invaded France later?"</p><p>Apparently she mixed up the location of France and Germany her whole life.</p><p>We're Austrian. We don't even have a French border. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd497bo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JuFo2707</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Freaky Treat
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0NzI2MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NDI4MDcxOX0.XpNR9JFcMA8RHGBl7KHGBzdR0GZJrubVVeBK_5JqVjE/img.gif?width=980" id="5c9f5" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9e2638f2c8f36c57d10f630ab4be4cb0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="250" />hocus pocus halloween GIFGiphy<p>Wouldn't it be funny if Halloween fell on Friday the 13th? </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd4tkrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">blackmilksociety</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Go Away #2....
<p>While sharing random facts to welcome a new coworker. This is a verbatim quote.</p><p>Coworker 1: I was born dead.</p><p>Coworker 2 (genuinely concerned): OMG! Did you survive?!</p><p><em>collective pause and staring</em></p><p>Coworker 2: ... that was the dumbest thing I've ever said. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd47p4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KieselguhrKid13</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_14" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Up in the Sky
<p>From a grown, 30-something year old woman (I was 22 at the time)</p><p>That the moon and sun were the same celestial body. Just at night it's not as bright, because it's night time.</p><p>She started crying when I simply pointed up at the moon in the daytime sky, then to the sun in a different part of the sky.</p><p>I felt bad. I didn't mean to make her cry. But, Damn! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3juvo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rhymes_with_chicken</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"the dark body"
<p>That Earth is hollow and we live inside. Sun and moon are small balls in the middle. Also there is "dark body", that would be the night. Reason why we can't see sun or moon all the time is, because light does to travel in a straight line, but in spiral and at night sun is hiding behind this black body. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd47dfg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MentalMeltdownDaily</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_16" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Slow the Puff Bruh
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0NzM1Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1ODY3MDM3Nn0.2eabWAshtkvkGg9Gi2bFvGFHoMFRFezSr5MZf9G1JXI/img.gif?width=980" id="8d49c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="23398a4843e16e042586dff569852ea8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="347" data-height="312" />Dog Dude GIFGiphy<p>10 years ago a friend of mine argued there are more babies on Earth than adults. His reasoning being babies are born every day, adults die every day.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/gd3s3d0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SelfDerecatingTumor</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_17" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. <br></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jygczu/what_is_the_outright_dumbest_thing_you_have_heard/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p>
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Cruise Ship Employees Break Down The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Witnessed A Passenger Doing
November 17 | 2020
Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay
I will never forget my first trip on the high seas. One of my best friends and I took a fabulous trip to the paradise Bermuda. It was a glorious trip into the horizon. But beyond the beach, the grandness of the ship and the sense of peace on the water, one aspect of the trip stuck with me most.... witnessing the behavior of cruise life. Cruise life is a real thing, that people take very, very seriously. Who knew? Guests on cruise ships are crazy. I mean.... crazy. Most for good but some.... highly questionable. Workers on cruise ships deserve a medal I swear. LOLOL. I can't wait to set sail again.
Redditor u/bubba1217 wanted staff on the open seas to tell a tale or two about cruise life behavior by asking.... Cruise Ship Employees: What's the stupidest thing you've witnessed a passenger doing aboard the ship?
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Out of Shanghai
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDc4MjUxOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTcwNDU3NX0.tCJ59xTDBewwtwwALREPEV8zBcrf1rxBj6q2gyB_m4s/img.gif?width=980" id="452ea" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f6a02173e9f8f0b7379d38691068c6a0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Fire Extinguisher GIF by Playing With FireGiphy<p>Worked for Royal Caribbean for 7 years, was based out of Shanghai at the time and saw a guest put a lit cigarette in a garbage can. You can guess what happened 30 seconds later. Luckily there was a fire extinguisher near by. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gcgs2mq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Petrucch</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not Without my Chair
<p>Saw 2 employees escort a 30-something year old woman from the pool deck back to her cabin while others were scrambling to get some rags. She had peed while lounging on a poolside deck chair, and the huge puddle was streaming into the pool. Her excuse was she did not want to give up the chair. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gch2i56?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">optoph</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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So many questions....
<p>Not a cruise ship but I worked a couple of contracts on a passenger ship. Special questions passengers asked me (stupid questions don't exist but dang it, these people came close):</p><p>1-does the crew sleep onboard? (During a multi day sail). No ma'am. We change the crew every night with a submarine with a nightshift. (This one gets asked a lot). </p><p>2-could you stop those vibrations? (Sure, let me shut down the engines quickly). </p><p>3-could you stop the ship for a few minutes (after a passenger saw a whale and wanted to take pictures).</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>4-can i get a tour in the crew's area? (I sort of understand this question but let's just assume that we don't really like to show our house to random people you meet at work). No sir, regulations don't allow that.</p><p>5-what do you mean I should know not to hang my clothes there? (Right after a passenger found out that the sprinkler head actually goes off if you brake the glass tube when you try to hang your clothes hanger on there. It was a nice fire fighting exercise). </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gch8ei3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> oscarbowman</a></p>
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Overboard
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDc4MjUyNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NjU4NjY4OH0.4dTNY2jmmVTot5unf27oRX3q5V-j5myOtk31ktDXPl4/img.gif?width=980" id="8f7e6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9070bb290475e0fcf3e8828a96fc36b8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="275" />doc savage dive GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy<p>Not an employee, but a former frequent cruiser. I once saw someone sitting on the railings that surround the top deck of the ship. If they'd fallen, they would've been killed instantly. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gcgieid?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JaegerMeister20</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Who is not Stupid?
<p>I wasn't an employee but I was on business to work with the employees so kind of had the backdoor experience. The dumbest thing I saw was someone standing on railings, luckily it didn't last long.</p><p>But one of my favorite things I saw was in the "club" style bar. A woman maybe like 85 was straight up dancing like she were 23 to some techno. We joked that her hip replacement must have been top notch.</p><p>As a passenger I think the stupidest thing I witnessed was myself ordering liquor drinks like they weren't watered down. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gcgpam0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CapnJackson</a><span></span></p>Death's Trip
<p>Die.</p><p>Hear me out. Many cruises, especially the cheaper ones, become YOLO nursing homes for the extremely elderly/unwell who want to spend their last days on vacation. Because forget everyone who will be massively inconvenienced by your death aboard a vessel in international waters. The amount of extremely frail or sick old people on cruises is staggering. There's a trend of blowing their retirement/life savings on a non stop series of cruises with the expectation that they will either die on board or their kids will put them up somewhere when they get back. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Not only is their death a problem but they tend to treat the service staff like their hospice nurses, requiring an extraordinary amount of maintenance to keep happy and comfortable. Almost any cruise employee develops an intense hatred of old people by the end of their time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gchim6k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Drablatrommieht</a></p>
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Dangerous Tides
<p>I saw a woman walking through one of the buffet restaurants, stop pull a funny face, wiggle a bit and then carry on walking. You guessed it she had just shat herself and then left a log on the carpet and carried on straight outside to carry on eating. Absolutely vile. Of course the restaurant had to be shut until it could be cleaned properly and the whole area sanitized thoroughly.</p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>I personally got arrested in Spain once, but I was lucky and got out of the clink before anyone noticed I was gone so I turned up to work the next morning as if nothing had happened (drunk and disorderly type of thing)</p><p>I'm sure I can think of more given time... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gch9zbx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">dontasslethehough</a></p>
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CHEER!!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDc4MjUzMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTY2NzI3NH0.8cFpJH9bTbTuelQd29yfWwjoTIIi2Y9DyEj_z3Lwn4s/img.gif?width=980" id="835a4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ee319bcc9505f1026619867b675460a7" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="390" data-height="258" />will ferrell snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy<p>Actual former cruise ship employee here.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The stupidest thing I've ever seen was probably on one of those weekend booze cruises. There was a group of former cheerleaders who were clearly out of practice and very drunk. They attempted to do a pyramid on the pool deck and 2 out of the 3 ended up in the infirmary.</p><p>The stupidest thing I've ever done when I was working on ships? I got drunk on Absinthe in St. Petersburg, Russia, and nearly got arrested before I got back to the ship.</p>
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Stay Sober
<p>Drinking so much they fell down a flight of stairs and broke their spine. Putting a still smoldering cigarette butt into a trash can inside the ship and setting the can on fire. Both happened while I was working onboard, seen by coworkers. Other than that, just really stupid questions and any generic dumb crap customers do at retail/hospitality places/restaurants on land. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gch5x7o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Reddit</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Rona Days
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDc4MjUzNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MzMzMDYxM30.QiujJqgRZvGa4q5zgzXWBcTmPkCLY5ch0ft4xkcYuaM/img.gif?width=980" id="ff0c7" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b199e1d39a941bc0537c5387533ecbe5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="428" data-height="434" />Cruise Ship GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy<p>Boarding a ship during a pandemic. (Not actually a cruise ship employee.) </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/juyn4g/cruise_ship_employees_whats_the_stupidest_thing/gcgd6y4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">dogtarget</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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People Break Down The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Seen A Man Do To Prove His Manhood
October 02 | 2020
Men. Just be men. And by that I mean, just be a good human. You really have nothing to prove against a facade that has been constructed to define what a man should be. You don't have to... and should not just beat people up. The definition of manhood does not lie in physical strength. That is a myth. And men... don't harm yourself to prove a myth. This is a topic that needs dissertations and long provoked conversations. Let us begin.....
Redditor u/CarsonFijal wanted to reach out to all the boys out there and discuss some behavior that needs to be discussed.... time to get a few things clear.... they asked.... What is the dumbest thing you've ever seen a man do to "prove" their "manhood"?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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That Stings....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ1NDQ3OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzQ3OTU3Mn0.cAvd6VIWzMFlxReqnqiK1Vxrk3Iu6AVfpv98r2BGnX8/img.gif?width=980" id="cec47" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1de35d3c52ad92496b47b23967bf5f77" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="285" data-height="207" />nicolas cage bees GIFGiphy<p>This one kid at my old school ate a bee to prove he wasn't scared of them. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79dwan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Perivoid</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Too Hot!
<p>Knew a dude who said "oven mitts are for wussies" and then proceeded to grab a hot pizza tray out of the oven bare handed. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79l5qy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PeacefulOnion</a></p><p>Worked with a few chefs who did this all the time, they literally had no feeling in their hands and would walk around with a 200 degree gastro tray for longer than necessary to prove it. I must admit, i thought it was pretty cool. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79twjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">fazzle96</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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I'm Good....
<p>Jump off a balcony onto an uneven, rocky hillside. The first time he did it, he only got a few scrapes. Second time, he broke his leg and wouldn't admit he needed medical attention until 24 hours later when he passed out from the pain. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79hbie?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iomplok</a></p><p>Real men don't need crutches damnit! <em>crawls on the ground dragging his broken leg like a limp penis. </em></p><p><em></em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79xnfj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Hey_u_ok</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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That's Not a Horse....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ1NDUxMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NDc3ODMzNH0.4Z0jpW5F0fFalfsrchj6w7lf3T0MlpCFVtPnAIc5bHE/img.gif?width=980" id="4ca33" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d6530fc742911f025ddb012cb0b72c1a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="326" />swamp people alligator GIFGiphy<p>Try to 'ride' an alligator. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g7916jq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> taliauli</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/taliauli/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><p>Uh, a friend in Florida told me about their Florida man who saw a manatee laying the edge of a river. Seeking to show off, he decided to jump from the bank above, 4-5 feet up, and try to land on it's back. What he didn't know is it was dead and bloated. He basically pierced it in the center landing on the bottom of the river. When he stood up to scream it was all over his face. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79njs1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> mrstipez</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/mrstipez/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Up the Nose....
<p>I once knew a person who in college (that's UK college not US college), who would legit snort anything that people dared him to snort just to see their effects on him. List of things he snorted off the top of my head and salt, pepper, sugar, cookie crumbs, basically any spice in dust form people could get their hands on, various liquids, and pretty much anything else you could crumble up. Worse out of all of them weirdly for him was the cookie crumbs. Dude looked like he was gonna die after snorting those. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79v6h6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The_FireFALL</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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With One Hand....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ1NDUyNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzMyMDQzMX0.H4010t2jrMHuWKRo3rjJK_8wSmBuDzD924NH9aFXKpk/img.gif?width=980" id="ffa55" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="448ad8983aa8120b4e2c9aa75154d140" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="350" data-height="194" />happy will arnett GIFGiphy<p>Coming from a server. Man literally said he didn't need or want help. (maybe he didn't want to share the tip? Who knows bro) anyway, carried 15 drinks on one tray with TWO full coffee pots and broke every single glass. Did not see that man after that shift. Tried to do this all with one hand. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79f1w9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">erwreckahh</a></p>Mark of the Beasts....
<p>Get branded....</p><p><strong><em>EDIT:</em></strong> Fraternities do it, my ex has 2 brands on his pelvis and one on his chest. His frat bro has 24, including his tongue. Others find out too late that they don't scar like normal they keloid. Which is like a bubbly looking scar tissue growing over where the brand was supposed to be. He had to have surgery to remove it, turned green & puss-filled while healing and left with huge ugly scars. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g794bx1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EuphoricRealist</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Great Balls of Fire....
<p>I knew of a dude in the Army that dangled his testicles over a fire ant hill in Ft. Benning Georgia. Those fire ants will kill a mouse or a lizard instantly. He was hospitalized for a long time and did not finish training with us. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79jqkr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Barry_Boots</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Barry_Boots/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Don't be flammable....
<p>Light his arm on fire, with lighter fluid. He had to have skin grafts. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79f49e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DanIsSwell</a></p><p>I remember back in my high school days when I was young and stupid me and my friends used to surprise light random parts of each other on fire as a joke. Of course it had to be on some part of clothing (and when that wouldn't be affected by it so no polystyrenes) and we'd just randomly sneak up them, spray them with a flammable aerosol spray (usually a deodorant) normally on their arm and spark it on fire and just watch them freak out. The aerosol sprays were relatively cool burning flames and they'd die out quickly so there was never much danger but boy did it get some horrified reactions from the wrong passerbys. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g7aapxx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DukeSamuelVimes</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Did you want kids?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ1NDUxOS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1OTc2NTQzOX0.l_zVOLVXJrW-gM5g589vJuZnw97e0lah5v4-YsfUTos/img.gif?width=980" id="8ad13" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f3739dff01c59c0c8062bd801a91abf6" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="412" data-height="260" />ouch the brady bunch GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphy<p>Purposefully get kicked in the testicles.</p><p>I remember when I was in college, frat boys played this game called Rochambeau, where two guys squared off, and each took a turn kicking the other in the testicles. Whoever lasted the longest, "won."</p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/d0H1RSbmlkM" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/d0H1RSbmlkM</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79a4ci?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">locketine</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Down for the count
<p>I've worked as a bouncer. Drinking too much and picking a fight with me is waaaaay too common. And really stupid. They end up pepper sprayed and handcuffed, waiting for the police. Real manly looking. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79iikk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nigelohell</a><span></span></p><p>I never understood the thought behind going for a bouncer. You guys are sober and usually built like a brick shit house. Why would it be a good idea to try to fight someone like that when you can barely walk straight to start with? </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79k5gu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Kung-Fu_Boof</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Kung-Fu_Boof/" target="_blank"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Bottoms Down
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ3NzkxMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMDQ5NDM2MX0.XjSAUP-bA5oI1m-_lKsQ50_LHB92v99QAuvtXw3EVkw/img.gif?width=980" id="18497" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8d79491232511b6101ad584e5052c724" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="200" data-height="320" />drunk on one GIFGiphy<p>Trying to outdrink his friends. It just turns into a bunch of dudes all drinking more than they can handle and ruining their night and sometimes ruining everybody else's night too. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g7919sg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">adhders</a></p><div id="taboola-mid-article-1x1" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"I'm not cold"
<p>The "I'm not cold" guy, and his cousin, the "sunblock is for wussies" guy. The former likes to stand around outside in the snow in just a t-shirt and shorts, making fun of men dressed properly for winter. The later thinks 'real men' aren't afraid of sunburns or skin cancer, and ridicules men that use sunblock. Both are equally stupid. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79eilf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MedusaStone</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Fried....
<p>My ex was a "sunblock is for idiots" guy. And he got SOOO freaking sunburnt. All. The. Time. And bad. It was so irritating. He was white as hell. I'm half Mexican and, while pasty in the winter, I tan well and RARELY get burnt. Even if I'm not wearing sunblock, I don't burn often. But the sun can be harmful, regardless of your skin tone, and I still wear sunblock.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>He was also a "I don't wash my hands unless I'm in the shower" guy. Which. Ew. He went hunting with his friend, cut (butchered? Idk I'm vegetarian) the meat, stored it, and didn't wash his damn hands. I wasn't there so I didn't know. About a day later, he was feeling sick and couldn't figure out why?! Wtf. Also he was a major hypochondriac, and wouldn't wash his hands. EVER. But couldn't figure out why he was always sick.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79ll54?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pancake-pretty</a></p>
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Let her Run....
<p>Slightly tangential, but still relevant.</p><p>Boot camp and we were doing our fitness test; had to run a mile and a half, best effort, usual army bull.</p><p>I'm not much of a runner, but I can pass the test fine. Heading into the final stretch and a girl from our sister troop started pulling past me. My Sgt starts screaming at me "SAXOPHOOL YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET A FREAKING GIRL BEAT YOU?!?!?!?!"</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Ummmm, yeah? She's a damn good runner!</p><p>I carried on at my pace, finished the test and passed with plenty of time to spare.</p><p>Sgt. pulls me aside and gives me a proper bollocking about letting the troop down, embarrassing myself, etc. I just let him yell and promised myself to never think like that. 20 years later and I still wouldn't give a flying fig if a girl beat me in any fitness test. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79lovy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Saxaphool</a></p>
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Need a Diaper
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ3NzkxNS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MTQwNDY4MX0.DfP2HCTbm0iaNgZWKSHVMJOdG8CY4DS_hIrI9ZN2x0Q/img.gif?width=980" id="6d015" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c02c2e86d2f9b2a2cb4e857def2748ee" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="189" />angry bridesmaids GIFGiphy<p>Pooped his pants. He wanted to show he was a real man by farting and we'll, it wasn't just a fart. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g797y9q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FBI-AGENT-013</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Mr. Danger.....
<p>Light his leg on fire with Axe body spray and sustained 3rd degree burns as a result. We all just talked crap how stupid he was. But he wanted to show us how... Dangerous he was. It was funny I will say that. I did laugh until I fell to the ground. Because he panicked and flailed after he lit himself on fire and jumped over a fence for no reason. There was absolutely no reason to jump a chain link fence to put out a fire. Then he complained for like 2 weeks how bad his leg hurt. Like Duh you idiot! . </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79lb7i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Derick_Ruhl</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_16" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Safety Rules....
<p>I hate to say it about the man in my own family but it's the truth and that shoot huge firearms without earplugs, weld without a respirator, paint in the old days when house paint contained lead, lose their sense of smell because they worked in a water treatment plant with chlorine, siphon gas back in the day when it still contained lead, change oil back in the day with bare hands soaked in engine oil, break open car batteries without gloves or goggles, etc. Mind you it wasn't intentional but my grandparents and great grandparents grew up in a time before OSHA safety regulations and have a tendency to look down on us my generation when we try to practice safety nowadays. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79dxqt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">YoruShonen</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_17" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not to a Girl!
<p>One time, we were running a mile in gym class and I was one of the few to finish first. But while I was running to the finish line a boy started SPRINTING to the finish line. He was chanting, "I'm not going to lose to a girl." He ran passed me and beat me to the finish line by like four seconds. This was in high school too. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g798ag0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> FifiClement</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FifiClement/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_18" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Feel It....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDQ3NzkyMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNDQwMDU5OX0.dmN85wlwKy-ntqKQxARsp1d7logc2Eq_BIlYX17gOu4/img.gif?width=980" id="b7538" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ba2533517c74485a9d2d941794bea19" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="245" data-height="300" />idiots GIFGiphy<p>Staple his leg with a staple gun to demonstrate that he "doesn't feel pain like normal people."</p><p>Spoiler alert, he does. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/j30toi/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_seen_a_man/g79jj4r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WeddingElly</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_19" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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People Break Down The Dumbest Thing Anyone Has Ever Seriously Said To Them
In grade school, a handful of us were discussing where some of our relatives lived outside of California.
When a classmate mentioned having relatives in New Mexico, an eavesdropper genuinely asked:
The Eager Patron
<p>"Excitedly told me that a stripper he bought a lap dance from liked him so much that she asked him to come back again to see her."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giqo3sg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">thirteenpants</a><br></p>Everyone's Favorite Customer
<p>"A buddy of mine is like this with bartenders/servers we go to the same bar pretty frequently and hes convinced that the bartenders there are attracted to him. He doesnt understand that the reason that they come over and talk to him is because he always tips them a minimum of $20 each night, normally its more."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/gir0yfw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Legion_707</a><br></p>Bleach Bath
<p>"Is this all the bleach we have?" This was said by my sister who was holding a gallon of bleach in each hand. Her plan? She was going to fill the bath tub up with bleach and bathe in it because she wanted to bleach her hair blonde."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giq7jhl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">not-a-real_username</a><br></p>Mummy Dearest
<p>"While watching the Mummy 2, these mummies are chasing a bus thru London. My mom asks, 'they didn't use real mummies did they?'"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giq5s4d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pickle-Wife</a><br></p>Her Way On The Highway
<p>"Had a roommate in college that would drive me everywhere cause she had a car and I didn't. The first time I got on the highway with her she got on the left lane and floored it. We were going 90+ on a 60. I freaked out and asked her why the hell she was going so fast. She said, 'What's the big deal? There's no speed limit on the left lane on a highway. You can go as fast as you want!' She refused to slow down till we had to take our exit. We had a long argument on why that wasn't true that involved calling several people and googling things to prove it to her."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giqpddy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sm1020</a><br></p>The Environmentalist
<p>"While driving with my sister's then-boyfriend to go disc golfing, he was staring up in the sky very intensely. I asked him what he was doing and he replied, 'Just doing my part for the environment.' Confused, I inquired further. He then went on to say how chemtrails from planes are spreading chemicals, but if you stare at the chemtrails, you can use your willpower to get rid of them. He was bat-sh*t crazy. Lizardmen crazy."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giq6hqa?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PittiePower</a><br></p>One Of These Are Mythical
<p>"With my mother at an aquarium. 'Are those seahorses or unicorns? I always get them mixed up.'"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giqza03?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Educational_Ad9260</a><br></p>Once More With Volume
<p>"A friend of mine met and married a German man. She lived there with him. He speaks English and is very fluent. Yes, there's an accent but he's perfectly understandable."</p><p>"After they married they came back to the US to have a reception for her side of the family and friends."</p><p>"As one particular family friend was making his good byes he goes up to the husband and shouts, slowly, 'IT WAS...VERY NICE MEETING YOU! I HOPE....YOU ENJOY...YOUR...VISIT!!!"'The whole room has stopped talking at this point. The husband says 'Thank you. Maybe next time we meet you'll speak English more quietly.' (In a very joking manner)</p><p>"Man was a bit embarrassed as he hadn't realized what he was doing."</p><p>"The whole 'if you talk louder they'll understand you' situation was hilarious."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/girpnfx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">stitcherfromnevada</a><br></p>Vegan Lady
<p>"'Turkey is vegan."'</p><p>"-Random lady stating that she's vegan and then proceeding to order a club sandwich."</p><p>"I was the waiter."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giqsp70?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">millennium-popsicle</a><br></p>All About The Eyes
<p>"I was waiting at the DMV, and my baby was asleep in his carrier on the floor. Some totally normal-looking middle-aged guy in a suit leaned over and smiled at him, then said, 'How cute! Are his eyes open yet?'"</p><p>"Dude literally thought humans were like puppies or kittens."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ku65bb/what_is_the_dumbest_thing_anybody_has_ever/giqewds?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">NoCuntryforToldMen</a><br></p>