Men. Just be men. And by that I mean, just be a good human. You really have nothing to prove against a facade that has been constructed to define what a man should be. You don't have to... and should not just beat people up. The definition of manhood does not lie in physical strength. That is a myth. And men... don't harm yourself to prove a myth. This is a topic that needs dissertations and long provoked conversations. Let us begin.....
Redditor u/CarsonFijal wanted to reach out to all the boys out there and discuss some behavior that needs to be discussed.... time to get a few things clear.... they asked.... What is the dumbest thing you've ever seen a man do to "prove" their "manhood"?That Stings....
nicolas cage bees GIF
Giphy
This one kid at my old school ate a bee to prove he wasn't scared of them.
Too Hot!
Knew a dude who said "oven mitts are for wussies" and then proceeded to grab a hot pizza tray out of the oven bare handed.
Worked with a few chefs who did this all the time, they literally had no feeling in their hands and would walk around with a 200 degree gastro tray for longer than necessary to prove it. I must admit, i thought it was pretty cool.
I'm Good....
Jump off a balcony onto an uneven, rocky hillside. The first time he did it, he only got a few scrapes. Second time, he broke his leg and wouldn't admit he needed medical attention until 24 hours later when he passed out from the pain.
Real men don't need crutches damnit! crawls on the ground dragging his broken leg like a limp penis.
That's Not a Horse....
swamp people alligator GIF
Giphy
Try to 'ride' an alligator.
Uh, a friend in Florida told me about their Florida man who saw a manatee laying the edge of a river. Seeking to show off, he decided to jump from the bank above, 4-5 feet up, and try to land on it's back. What he didn't know is it was dead and bloated. He basically pierced it in the center landing on the bottom of the river. When he stood up to scream it was all over his face.
Up the Nose....
I once knew a person who in college (that's UK college not US college), who would legit snort anything that people dared him to snort just to see their effects on him. List of things he snorted off the top of my head and salt, pepper, sugar, cookie crumbs, basically any spice in dust form people could get their hands on, various liquids, and pretty much anything else you could crumble up. Worse out of all of them weirdly for him was the cookie crumbs. Dude looked like he was gonna die after snorting those.
With One Hand....
happy will arnett GIF
Giphy
Coming from a server. Man literally said he didn't need or want help. (maybe he didn't want to share the tip? Who knows bro) anyway, carried 15 drinks on one tray with TWO full coffee pots and broke every single glass. Did not see that man after that shift. Tried to do this all with one hand.
Mark of the Beasts....
Get branded....
EDIT: Fraternities do it, my ex has 2 brands on his pelvis and one on his chest. His frat bro has 24, including his tongue. Others find out too late that they don't scar like normal they keloid. Which is like a bubbly looking scar tissue growing over where the brand was supposed to be. He had to have surgery to remove it, turned green & puss-filled while healing and left with huge ugly scars.
Great Balls of Fire....
I knew of a dude in the Army that dangled his testicles over a fire ant hill in Ft. Benning Georgia. Those fire ants will kill a mouse or a lizard instantly. He was hospitalized for a long time and did not finish training with us.
Don't be flammable....
Light his arm on fire, with lighter fluid. He had to have skin grafts.
I remember back in my high school days when I was young and stupid me and my friends used to surprise light random parts of each other on fire as a joke. Of course it had to be on some part of clothing (and when that wouldn't be affected by it so no polystyrenes) and we'd just randomly sneak up them, spray them with a flammable aerosol spray (usually a deodorant) normally on their arm and spark it on fire and just watch them freak out. The aerosol sprays were relatively cool burning flames and they'd die out quickly so there was never much danger but boy did it get some horrified reactions from the wrong passerbys.
Did you want kids?
ouch the brady bunch GIF by TV Land Classic
Giphy
Purposefully get kicked in the testicles.
I remember when I was in college, frat boys played this game called Rochambeau, where two guys squared off, and each took a turn kicking the other in the testicles. Whoever lasted the longest, "won."
Down for the count
I've worked as a bouncer. Drinking too much and picking a fight with me is waaaaay too common. And really stupid. They end up pepper sprayed and handcuffed, waiting for the police. Real manly looking.
I never understood the thought behind going for a bouncer. You guys are sober and usually built like a brick shit house. Why would it be a good idea to try to fight someone like that when you can barely walk straight to start with?
Bottoms Down
drunk on one GIF
Giphy
Trying to outdrink his friends. It just turns into a bunch of dudes all drinking more than they can handle and ruining their night and sometimes ruining everybody else's night too.
"I'm not cold"
The "I'm not cold" guy, and his cousin, the "sunblock is for wussies" guy. The former likes to stand around outside in the snow in just a t-shirt and shorts, making fun of men dressed properly for winter. The later thinks 'real men' aren't afraid of sunburns or skin cancer, and ridicules men that use sunblock. Both are equally stupid.
Fried....
My ex was a "sunblock is for idiots" guy. And he got SOOO freaking sunburnt. All. The. Time. And bad. It was so irritating. He was white as hell. I'm half Mexican and, while pasty in the winter, I tan well and RARELY get burnt. Even if I'm not wearing sunblock, I don't burn often. But the sun can be harmful, regardless of your skin tone, and I still wear sunblock.
He was also a "I don't wash my hands unless I'm in the shower" guy. Which. Ew. He went hunting with his friend, cut (butchered? Idk I'm vegetarian) the meat, stored it, and didn't wash his damn hands. I wasn't there so I didn't know. About a day later, he was feeling sick and couldn't figure out why?! Wtf. Also he was a major hypochondriac, and wouldn't wash his hands. EVER. But couldn't figure out why he was always sick.
Let her Run....
Slightly tangential, but still relevant.
Boot camp and we were doing our fitness test; had to run a mile and a half, best effort, usual army bull.
I'm not much of a runner, but I can pass the test fine. Heading into the final stretch and a girl from our sister troop started pulling past me. My Sgt starts screaming at me "SAXOPHOOL YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET A FREAKING GIRL BEAT YOU?!?!?!?!"
Ummmm, yeah? She's a damn good runner!
I carried on at my pace, finished the test and passed with plenty of time to spare.
Sgt. pulls me aside and gives me a proper bollocking about letting the troop down, embarrassing myself, etc. I just let him yell and promised myself to never think like that. 20 years later and I still wouldn't give a flying fig if a girl beat me in any fitness test.
Need a Diaper
angry bridesmaids GIF
Giphy
Pooped his pants. He wanted to show he was a real man by farting and we'll, it wasn't just a fart.
Mr. Danger.....
Light his leg on fire with Axe body spray and sustained 3rd degree burns as a result. We all just talked crap how stupid he was. But he wanted to show us how... Dangerous he was. It was funny I will say that. I did laugh until I fell to the ground. Because he panicked and flailed after he lit himself on fire and jumped over a fence for no reason. There was absolutely no reason to jump a chain link fence to put out a fire. Then he complained for like 2 weeks how bad his leg hurt. Like Duh you idiot! .
Safety Rules....
I hate to say it about the man in my own family but it's the truth and that shoot huge firearms without earplugs, weld without a respirator, paint in the old days when house paint contained lead, lose their sense of smell because they worked in a water treatment plant with chlorine, siphon gas back in the day when it still contained lead, change oil back in the day with bare hands soaked in engine oil, break open car batteries without gloves or goggles, etc. Mind you it wasn't intentional but my grandparents and great grandparents grew up in a time before OSHA safety regulations and have a tendency to look down on us my generation when we try to practice safety nowadays.
Not to a Girl!
One time, we were running a mile in gym class and I was one of the few to finish first. But while I was running to the finish line a boy started SPRINTING to the finish line. He was chanting, "I'm not going to lose to a girl." He ran passed me and beat me to the finish line by like four seconds. This was in high school too.
Feel It....
idiots GIF
Giphy
Staple his leg with a staple gun to demonstrate that he "doesn't feel pain like normal people."
Spoiler alert, he does.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
- People Break Down The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Seen Their Pet Do - George Takei ›
- Men Break Down The Most Ridiculous Reason Someone's Questioned Their Masculinity - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Manliest Things They’ve Ever Done - George Takei ›
- People Share The Best Examples Of 'Positive Masculinity' - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.