Be honest, most of us aren't exactly thrilled to go to work. Quite a few of us spend the day drudging away through monotony wishing for something to shake things up ... but what do we do when something actually does?
Reddit user zarfytezz1 asked:
It turns out my crazy work story (watching my rage-aholic 'roided up boss chase 2 interviewees around the parking lot because they had questions and he felt disrespected) was pretty tame compared to what some other people have witnessed. So here we go, get ready.
Away we go, folks.
I'm fairly certain that a guest came into our zoo with the intent of receiving a Golden Shower from a lion.
For some backstory, if you've never seen those videos of lions pissing on zoo guests, you should look it up. Males can spray urine 10+ feet, through the caging. It STINKS worse than you could ever believe (we've had guests puke before when they got sprayed), and is just about impossible to wash off. You don't want to put water on that, trust me. It's super musky, and there's hormones in it for territory-marking, so it's meant to withstand water. I'm just going by personal experience, but whenever I hose a puddle of lion urine I feel like I just aerosolize the stench.
We even have signs up warning people that lions can spray urine.
One day, this guy comes in during the morning, and first place he goes is to the lion exhibit. Stands 5 feet from the bars. I caution him about the urine and he ignores me.
Half an hour later, I notice he's still right there, standing almost still. I tell him "I'm not kidding, they spray through the bars sometimes." He nods and backs away a bit...ten minutes later I find him closer to the bars than he was before!
I think okay, whatever...not my fault if you get peed on. I told a couple coworkers about this guy as we went about our morning chores!
Another keeper told me, half an hour later, that he got sprayed by a lion. Apparently he was pretty calm about it and didn't start retching like most people do - walked straight out of the zoo and back to his car, drenched in lion urine.
He must have smelled of sour, muggy lion BO crossed with eau de catbox for the next couple days at least. I wonder how he showed up to work like that.
Worst part is we got complaints from guest the rest of the day, between the lion exhibit and the park exit (where this dude dripped lion pee all over the place), that it stunk like a litter box from hell. Tried out best to clean it but without much luck.
The keepers were all laughing their butts off about this story for a week, though.
The Exact Moment
I was a manager at a small casino running a blackjack tournament.
I watched a man have a heart attack before my very eyes. It was the end of the round for that table the man advanced to the next round. As soon as the hand was over and was about to congratulate him I saw the exact moment that he realized that something was wrong. He grabbed his chest and his lips instantly turned grey.
It just so happened that the person sitting directly to his right was respiratory nurse. She realizes immediately what's happening and throws him on the ground and starts CPR. She took full control of the situation like a hero in the movies. It was horrific and awe inspiring at the same time.
The man made a special visit to the casino two weeks later to let us know that he was okay.
To me, this wasn't crazy because I watched a man almost die. This was crazy because I saw the exact moment that he realized that he was in trouble. I saw the exact moment the nurse's instincts and training kicked in. I'll never forget it.
The Retail Gods
There was a fire in the store I work at, towards the back of the store. We were getting everyone to evacuate and a woman would not leave.. she told me that since the area she wanted to shop in was not on fire, if she wanted to assume the risk of bodily injury that I could not stop her.
I had to try to balance not losing it on her with getting her to leave. Luckily, an older authoritative firefighter had just walked by and heard her, and he turned around and physically picked her up and bitched her out as he took her to the exit. It was as if the retail gods finally cut me a break. He did what we all wanted to do. It was absolutely glorious.
The Boo Boo
I worked in an office with a woman who was definitely high drama. I'm talking to our boss in his office and I hear WAILING coming down the hall towards us. It's that sound a 3 year old makes when he's hurt, wants attention,and is fake crying but somehow louder. I can't handle that kind of thing so I bail in a hurry and hide at my desk.
She reached my boss's office not long after I fled and collapsed Platoon-style still bawling. On her way to lunch, she had tripped and fallen in the mud so her pants were muddy on the knees and she was crying that she had a booboo. Our boss's boss took her to the ladies room to clean her up.
This involved the crying woman removing her pants so our boss's boss could try to get some of the mud out at the sink. They worried entirely too much about getting sued and she got coddled as a result. I believe crazy lady was in a stall while the director cleaned her pants for her. Doesn't make it any less insane. Crying lady spent the rest of the day gleefully telling anyone who would listen what happened. I still can't comprehend any part of this.
She should have been canned. She wasn't particularly good at the job and her frequent outbursts caused a lot of problems. You could never tell if she was on her meds or not. Sometimes she'd throw a temper tantrum because she didn't get to put in her lunch order first (she sent home for that one with pay but she came back the next day with no repercussions.) Ugh, I haven't worked with her in years and this kind of nonsense still irritates me.
Like Nothing Happened
Ok I worked as a spa/salon manager for awhile. I'll make this as succinct as I can...
One day a very professional looking well dressed woman came in for a massage and sauna. She was from out of town, never been in before. During her massage she made some funny sounds and apparently some funny smells. She doesn't say anything or get up or indicate that anything is wrong. After the massage the therapist goes back into the room to discover that this lady has had diarrhea all over the table. We're very concerned about cleanliness and hygiene so there is a mad dash to clean and disinfect.
In the meantime, this woman has put on a robe and walked straight into the sauna. Where she removed her now-poo-filled robe and sat in her puddle of filth for like 30 minutes.
She left the robe and went to the dressing room. She dressed, came out, paid like nothing happened and left. The sauna was shut down to be disinfected. Our poor spa attendant frantically cleaned everything in the dressing room only then to discover this woman had destroyed a bathroom stall. All over the seat, the floor, etc. Spa attendant cleaned it but the smell was still overwhelming and she didn't know why. Until she found the woman's soiled panties in the trash.
No Public Restroom
I worked in a clothing store that didn't have a public restroom. The owners told us that under no circumstances were we to take them to the restroom that the employees use. They micromanaged and watched the cameras like crazy so I wasn't about to break that rule.
Well, one night a woman was pissed because we didn't have a public restroom and so she walked to the big trash can we had by the back where we were doing some work and literally sat in it, peed, and walked out. In front if everyone. Like it was nothing.
I work in a skilled nursing facility, and one of our residents had the ashes of his deceased wife with him following her service. Her son ran in the next morning, through the lobby, past the nurses station and into his room, grabbed the urn and sprinted back out to a getaway car. This was a second marriage, and the son felt her husband didn't "deserve" the remains, so he stole them.
A Pallet SpearGiphy
I saw a pregnant coworker get speared by a wooden pallet.
We worked as order fillers driving around on electric pallet jacks picking cases of product to stack on pallets behind the jack. The bays with the product went two deep and were on rollers. Every time a person picked the last item off a pallet they were supposed to pull the empty pallet out and put it in a return area.
She went to pull the empty pallet out but it was broken or decayed so as she tried to take it out the pallet behind the empty one came forward and the empty pallet shattered. She got pinned against her jack and a piece of wood caught her in the side.
Of course the company we worked for treated its workers like trash, so when one of the supervisors came by and saw she "wasn't bleeding that much" he actually asked her if she was okay to keep working even though she was bawling her eyes out!
If I remember correctly the supervisor talked her out of going to the hospital. Both things were a little shocking to witness, honestly. As far as I know the baby ended up fine but it really sucks when an evil corporation is your daddy.
The Ladies Room
A picture of the shotgun poo in the women's bathroom.
My department is practically all women, so one day one of them is talking about the 4th floor in our building and how she walked into the bathroom to open the door to one of the most horrid smells ever. As she walks in she opens the door to the stall and there the nightmare is. This wasn't like a disgruntled employee doing this to be an ahole. This was straight up shotgun blast of poo.
Turns out it had been going on daily for a few weeks. It got so bad that our work placed a sign on the women's door to the bathroom saying: "If you are the individual causing the mess in the women's bathroom, please see a doctor or contact our health services line @ 1-800-***-****."
There was also a picture I was shown from the women's bathroom on our floor where a lady decided work was the perfect time to shave her lady parts. There was a legit pile of pubes all over the floor.
My dad worked at a big department store as a janitor. He always said the women's bathroom was hands down the nastiest.
Guy found out he was getting fired and ran off and hid somewhere in building. We work in a massive place so 99% of people didn't even know he was being looked for. A few hours later he turns up at managers desk throwing tables and fire extinguishers at anyone who had clothing identifying as a supervisor. He was trying really hard to just hurt a manager - any manager.
A big guy from the dock sees this from distance. Big guy walks over with purpose of a fricken action movie star, grabs rampaging dude by neck, and in one action lifts him in air and shouts "Boy Stop!" Big guy then proceeds to slam the fired man into floor and sit on him until police come.
It was just total one sided dominance. I've never seen a large adult (able to lift a table over head) so easily overpowered. Dock guy probably saved a life or at least saved someone a serious injury. Think they gave him like 2k in shares as a thank you.
Tae Kwon DooDoo
While teaching martial arts 10 years ago, I saw a kid stand in chunbi (ready stance) while soiling his pants. It flew up my face, onto the mirror, and onto the ceiling as soon as we started practicing front snap kicks; it was being flicked off his kicking foot.
Everyone was so mortified that I didn't have time to react. I tried to divert everyone's attention away.
The Missing Nipple
When I worked as life guard at an indoor water park I saw a guy's nipple piercing get ripped off when he went down a body slide. There was blood everywhere. His entire nipple was gone but he was so scared from the ride he didn't even notice the pain till he sat down in the infirmary.
My boss attempted to dress in black face for a Christmas party. We were in a work band together, set to perform to 100 or so workmates. My boss (a senior exec in our government department) thought it would be a good idea to appear dressed as Lenny Kravitz - complete with black face. She used a kind brown foundation that didn't work as she'd intended.
No one noticed. I only knew because I saw her applying the make up and told her it wasn't a good idea. She just thought she was paying homage to Kravitz. I was relieved when it didn't work.
I work in a glorified call centre, and one day we were told that a woman was coming in to do a trial shift was coming in. So far, so good.
About an hour before The Trial (as she will henceforth be known), ALL of our phones went down. They came back on intermittently, so we were still having calls coming through. At one point, an agent (J) turns around to our manager and says:
"Hey, do you have a trial coming in today? Because I think she's drunk...".
So we play it off because we're stressed out about the phones not working and forget about it for half an hour. Just to set the scene, my department is in a small annex off the main office as we're always in the phone, we need to keep the noise down. So we get a knock on the door and one of our big office colleagues is stood there, looking absolutely terrified. She pauses for a minute, steps inside, closes the door, and says,
"Your trial shift has just arrived...She's off her face."
At which point, we all turn around and look at each other. We don't really have time to think because suddenly this very tall, very skinny woman sidles into the office like a giant drunk spider. She's wearing the same clothes she wore to the interview yesterday. Her eyes are the size of the moon. Her tights are completely torn and her leg is bleeding. She is absolutely shitfaced.
Me, and the other three girls in the office spring to attention. I start muttering about getting water. Another girl goes to grab the first aid box. My friend J from earlier just stands up and walks out.
We meet in the kitchen and decide we'll have to go back into the room because our manager hasn't come out. So we come back in and very drunk trial shift girl is lolling around in a swivel chair. (Now is probably the time to mention, we don't sit in a traditional office layout, we are in a U shape around the outside of the room.) We all sit back down, and drunk girl is in the middle of the U. We all have our backs to her and the phones STILL aren't working.
The Trial starts burbling about how she doesn't need to actually learn our job because she already knows it. My manager (who was later fired) is doing to nothing to contain the situation. We start saying "Look maybe you should go home, come back tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day etc" and she loses it. Starts screaming at all of us, waving her arms around, and we are all absolutely terrified because we can't move away from our desks.
My manager finally decides to stand up and do something. She gets The Trial's attention and gently suggests that she might go home. The Trial stands up and start threatening my manager. All the while, we are all still sat at our desks, not able to move. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend S inching her hand towards a fruit knife she'd left on her desk. Still not sure whether she was grabbing it to get it out of the way or as a weapon of self defense.
It gets better (or ever so worse) from here. The Trial is now shouting how she deserves a job because she came all the way to our office and hurt her legs (Remember the ripped tights). My manager tells her to leave. She sits down on the swivel chair and starts taking her tights off. In the middle of our tiny office. When her tights are around her ankles and her legs are akimbo, the director of the entire company walks in and says "WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?"
The Trial swivels around, flashes him, and screeches "WHO. THE. F*CK. ARE YOU?!"
My director replies, very smoothly "I own this company, who are you?"
Drunk girl then goes "YOU NEED TO LEAVE" to the big boss, at which point he turns around to wall and very calmly says "I'm giving you ten seconds to put your tights on, get you bag and leave. Otherwise I am calling the police."
So drunk girl does as she's told, is escorted to the door and very promptly falls down the stairs. This all happened at two in the afternoon in an office. I have never seen anything like it.
A mother used a needle and syringe to suck Morphine out of her child's IV line (the child had cancer) so she could hide in the bathroom of their hospital room and shoot it up.
Stealing Their Youth
The man who would rig the toilets in the boys bathroom to not flush so he could come and collect the pee of boys and drink it so he could "steal their youth". We eventually caught him and he went to jail but god what a mess that was while it was occurring.
I'm a server at a local bakery/deli. One afternoon a lady (probably in her late 50's) comes in and asks me where she could find a crematorium for pets. Nothing too weird as there used to be one just down the street, but they closed down about a year ago.
I noticed she was carrying a grocery bag with something white and fluffy in it. At first I thought it was maybe a teddy bear...Then she opened up the bag to show me what was 2 dead cats inside. The smell was awful, like they have been deceased for quite a while.
I felt bad because she smelled like feces, and cat piss. I feel she may have been suffering from a mental illness or going through grief, probably both. So I gave her the best advice I could with a phone number and directions to the closest veterinary clinic, as they might know more and hopefully be able to help her. Made for an interesting afternoon...
Mike Dropped Dead
I work in fancy restaurants as a cook and like in any kitchen, our sous chef was ALWAYS coming high on speed, but he was AMAZING at preforming his job (we shall call him Mike). One morning after having talked to him a few times about his use, Mike comes in to work looking worse than ever. I ask if he is alright, he says yes he just smoked some really strong weed.
I shrug it off, as he wasn't acting intoxicated, and continue on with my day. About an hour into prep and this guy drops dead on line. Heart stopped right then and there! My co worker luckily knew CPR and ran to him immediately, as I called an ambulance. She was lucky enough to have gotten him back before the ambulance came. He is fine. My co worked was traumatized. We all still work at the same place.
Some dude almost got himself killed because he wanted to get his hat back.
Backstory: I work at a world famous amusement park, so naturally we get tourists from around the world coming each day of the year. I was running the Drop Tower ride, the ride that was to the immediate left of the roller coaster. The rides are so close together that on quiet days, the operators of both rides walk over and chat until guests arrive. Now that I think about it, the close proximity of the rides is what probably saved this guy's life.
I'm working the drop tower with my partner, let's call him Bob. I'm saying goodbye to our most recent batch of guests when Bob says to me that he thinks he sees someone running around on the floor in the restricted area of the roller coaster. At first I thought he was joking because who would be stupid enough to jump the fences and gates to run around the tracks of an active roller coaster?
But yup. Sure enough, some redneck looking dummy was casually wandering around the tracks like he was out on a jaunty Sunday stroll. The last train had just finished minutes ago, meaning the next train was due to be run again. It was sheer luck that Bob had noticed because the idiot in question had been walking around behind the pillar that held up one of the loops, meaning the operator couldn't see him from her operation panel. Bob ran to the phone to call our manager, and I ran as fast as I could to the ride operator to signal not to run the ride.
The operation panel for the roller coaster was far on the right, and the drop tower was to the left. Thankfully, I had gotten to the operator just as she had turned everything on but had not dispatched the new train yet. She saw me make a giant 'X' with my arms which is our sign for "DONT RUN THE RIDE" or "STOP THE RIDE" which we only use for emergencies. The rides are so loud we are required by to wear hearing protection or we can be personally fined, so we use hand signals to communicate.
The ride operator hit the emergency stop which cuts the power to the motors and wheels. I explain that there was someone on the floor, then proceed to help the guests off the ride. The operator is screaming into the microphone at this point, which is drawing attention. When the man realized he was caught, he made a bolt for the maintenance shop, climbed the stairs the millwrights used, jumped a gate and ran away into the park.
Security had been called as well but we never caught the guy. The roller coaster was closed for the rest of the day for an investigation. Video camera footage revealed that he had stuck his arm through the bars of the maintenance doors which were kept locked to turn the doorknob on the other side to let himself in. I'd like to add that there is also a giant sign plastered across the front of the door which read "ABSOLUTELY NO ADMITTANCE WHILE TRAINS ARE IN MOTION". The fact that this man ignored the sign, nearly dislocated his arm in the process and STILL proceeded to walk around the tracks of an active roller coaster only furthers my belief that this man was stupidity in human form.
After the operator, Bob and I gave our incident reports to management, operator later told me that the same guy had been causing problems and had been on the coaster earlier. For our park, we have a no loose articles policy. No bags, hats etc. This was because not only could things fall off/get damaged during the rides but they could fall into the machinery and cause mechanical issues. Apparently that this guy had been arguing with her, refusing to take off his hat even though she explained repeatedly that only religious headwear was allowed, that due to the speed and fact that the ride had multiple loops and inversions, that his baseball cap was guaranteed to fall off.
He eventually gave in and put it in his pocket when she told him that either the hat came off the ride or he would. Once the train was dispatched and climbing to the top of the hill, he put the stupid hat back on. The ride operator used the microphone to tell him to take it off but he ignored her.
Surprise, surprise! It fell off.
When the ride was done, he complained that he wanted it back but obviously she showed no sympathy. She explained that he would need to wait for a few hours until our next safety inspection until it could be retrieved, since the millwrights were the only ones authorized to go on the coaster floor. After she told us this, we put two and two together and realized that this idiot had put his life in danger to retrieve a hat.
When the time came for the next inspection, they found said hat. It was a 'make america great again' hat. This all took place in Canada, but that certainly explains a lot.
I've worked at a golf course for the past 3 years doing course maintenance. One of the people I work with is a hard working 61 year-old man named Mario. One day on the ninth hole, which is a straight par 4 with an island green surrounded by a pond infested with moccasins, Mario was tasked with weed eating. As I finished mowing the tee box and made my way to the green, I heard a blood curdling scream.
It was Mario.
I witnessed him yank a 3-4 foot copperhead off of his Achilles heel and throw it in the pond. Before I could offer to help, he had already rushed to his car and took off. He drove himself to a nearby hospital. He was back at work 2 days later!
Can't Have It Back Now!Giphy
I used to work at a bead store when I was 16 that sold beads, gemstones, chain, and findings for people who like to make jewelry.
One day this woman ran in and started stuffing strands of stuff down her bra and pants. I noticed and when I walked over to her she started running towards the entrance yelling "I already shoved it up my crack! You can't have it back now!"
I called the cops.
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>
At LEAST One?!<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>
WELP<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>
Internet History<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>
Awful, Awful<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>
Viewer, Beware....<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>
Statistically....<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>
Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>
Rise Of The Machines<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>
So Can We Fix The Justice System Now<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.