People Reveal The Times They Just Couldn't Hold In Their Inappropriate Laughter
I once caught an insane giggle fit during an incredibly emotional eulogy. I wasn't laughing at the death, obviously. There was a service dog near me that let out the most atrocious, silent dog fart I have ever had the misfortune of smelling. Watching everyone dressed in their fancies trying not to do the "who let that one rip" look around was hilarious.
Thankfully my giggles were predominantly misinterpreted as sobbing and I was graciously allowed to excuse myself to the ladies room to regain my composure. Only my bestie knew the truth, evidenced by the text I got while I was in the bathroom: "You're going to hell. Save me a seat." #FriendGoals
One Reddit user asked: When was a time when you had to hold in laughter, and failed?
Clearly, this was the thread for me. Buckle up, babies, it's about to get MAD INAPPROPRIATE in here.
Was having a rough time with my partner and someone recommended a marriage counselor. At the end of session the lady made us hold hands, look into each other's eyes, and then she started to sing a song, really loudly, in a horrible, cackly voice, "you are special, you are special, you are special to me." Needless to say, we were both struggling not to laugh until a small, high pitched "mmmmmmm" escaped through my husband's lips and we both lost it. The therapist lady was not pleased. Making us laugh was not the intention. She was pissed and stopped singing and just glared at us, which made it worse
This happened over ten years ago. We never went back to therapy ever again with anyone after that happened, but we are happily married and sing the special song to each other all the time, especially if the other person is acting particularly special at the moment.
I was at a funeral for a family friend who I didn't know very well. This was a natural woodland funeral. The deceased was brought into the gathering in a coffin made of wicker. I overheard my young cousins talking to each other. One asked: "Why is she in a basket?"
Shrill Church Lady Voice
I was in church a few years ago. It was a very serious, stuffy church - most of the congregation was in their 70s/80s. This was also the kind of church that world all you not to come back if you caused any story of trouble. My friends and I were sitting in the back pew. It was time for a hymn ("Hallelujah, Praise Jehovah"). We sang, things were going okay. Then we got to the first refrain.
To this day, we have no clue where this came from. The acoustics in room made it sound like she was everywhere, but this shrill church lady voice rose above all other voices in the sanctuary. "Hallelujah, PRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAISE JEHOOOOOVAH"
Guy friend on the end of the pew started giggling. The girl next to me was struggling, but she held fast. I was fine, but braced myself for the next repeat. Guy friend was too far gone the second time it happened and resorted to burying his face into the girl friend's shoulder. He was laughing so hard, she was shaking. She slowly raised the hymnal in front of her face and started laughing. The pastors kids who were sitting in front of us noticed and started laughing too. At this point, I lost it, doubled over in the hymnal.
So there we were. Three college kids and five children practically rolling in the back two pews. We're getting angry stares from a few of the older people in the church - and we still had two refrains to go.
Finally the song ended. Guy friend had tears running down his face and he looked at us, excused himself, and left the sanctuary for the next ten minutes. When he got back, we couldn't look at each other without setting off the chain again. The poor pastor's kids had to write lines for the rest of the service.
I couldn't go back to that church for a while. When I did finally go back a few years later, guess what hymn they sang?
Haven't been back to that church since.
A guy once tried to order Focaccia by asking for "F*** a Choo-Choo."
I had to give someone else the drivethru headset cuz I could not contain myself.
Almost Died In A Fire? Hilarious!
Coworker had a fire that destroyed her house, killed her pets, and almost killed her because her and her husband had one of those deadbolt locks with a lock on both sides instead of a knob inside and they couldn't find the key to get out. So they both had to jump from second floor windows to escape the fire.
So she's explaining all this horrible stuff to me, and then bursts into tears explaining that now they also couldn't have children, because when her husband fell from the second story when he landed, he "squished his nuts!"
I started laughing as she was crying, couldn't help myself.
I'm a horrible person.
Near Death Experience
When I was eight I was in church, and during his sermon the priest farted. I know it's not a great story, and it's probably childish. But to an eight-year-old it was the funniest thing that ever happened to anyone in the entire history of the world.
My mother almost smothered me to death to stifle my laughter.
The "Ah" Sound
Silent reading class in grade 10. The guy next to me sneezed so hard that it caused him to fart. Apparently no one else heard it. I couldn't hold in the laughter. The teacher asked me to leave the class and the second I left that classroom I just bursted out laughing.
What made it funny was that after he farted he made an "ah" Sound. Not in a relieving way, he was more surprised that it happened. It all happened so fast that it took me a second to process what happened. Once i did i could not keep it together.
I took a figure drawing class in college and the male nude model would fall asleep and fart every time. It was always just me and one other person stifling our laughter. HOW DID NOBODY ELSE LAUGH!??
Workplace Injuries Are Funny?
Middle of a meeting with very high level management, way above my pay grade to even breathe the same air as these people, but I had "field-level knowledge and experience that could prove invaluable to the discussion".
Anyway, I'm sitting there in my grease stained, muddy coveralls (I was not given notice beforehand to clean up), in a room full of men in suits and I look around.
I acknowledge that I am the only grunt in the room. I also acknowledge that I am younger than everyone else in the room by at least 15 years. And finally, I acknowledge that of the 40 or so people in the room, I am the only female.
And my head immediately went to "This looks like the start of a weird porno" and I burst out laughing... as the VP of the company was in the middle of talking about injury in the workforce.
Went to see Beauty and The Beast as a ballet. Was going good, enjoying the dancers, when out dances the beast.... a tiny, very stocky guy in full leotard and a furry mask that looked like Chewbacca. I think I could have handled that, if it wasn't for the massive endowment he had somehow stuffed in those leotards.
I tried looking at the floor, but this was troubling to my date... so I pointed my face at the stage and closed my eyes. Unfortunately the first thing that pops into my minds eye is the round face of my redneck buddy, laughing uncontrollably. I started making odd little grunting sounds as my abdomen convulsed. I got up and pantomimed that I really had to pee, and fled. I got 4 seats down, and it just came out... full volume maniacal laughter. I stumbled into the aisle, fell to my knees, and had to practically drag myself out of there by the handrail in the hall way.
There was not a second date.
Boss's Boss Laughed, Too
In a meeting with higher-ups in my organization. An enthusiastic lady goes up to present, she's JAZZED to be telling us of the work she's doing. In the middle she starts using acronyms in our organization: FOCN and SOCN. With her accent, she kept repeating "f***ing and sucking" at least 3 times. I'm giggling so hard a tear dripped from my eye. Finally after the last time, my boss's boss loses it, feigns a coughing fit and leaves the room. Luckily that was a distraction enough to where I could release the laughter. Boss's boss returns about 5 minutes later, red faced, and couldn't look at the lady without giggling.
Big Fat Poop
Yesterday when my three year old dropped his pants, popped a squat, and pooped right in the middle of a well populated playground. I know I was supposed to be mad about it but he was so proud of himself. "Check out my big fat poop." I lost it.
Feeding Me Mints
When I was 18 my great grandmother passed away. I didn't know her or that side of my family very well. I sat through the service quietly and respectfully, though. However, the moment after everyone came to pray over the casket, the gentleman leading the funeral said, "And that concludes today's service." Everyone began crying very loudly in complete unison.
I'm not sure why I found it funny, but I did. I kept turning away from everyone to giggle silently to myself. My father pulled me away from the casket and began giving me these mints. I laughed every time I'd finished one and he would hand me another. I finally asked, "Why do you keep feeding me mints?!" He responded, "To keep you from laughing."
This did not help the situation, because I started laughing louder and in turn made him laugh (I obviously got my sense of humor from him). My crying mother started yelling at us, which got us kicked out of the funeral. As soon as my dad and I got into the car, we started laughing uncontrollably. This event has become a big story between my friends and family, and I'm known as that ahole who laughs during funerals. I've not attended one since.
You Smell Like Poo
I went to church with my brother. He is fairly religious, but he hadn't gone for a long time. We're sitting there and he writes me a note saying something like: "I know that this isn't your thing, but I'm thankful that you came with me. I feel like I needed to get back to coming here."
I proceeded to write him back...
I wrote: "you smell like poo."
I nodded solemnly and passed the note back to him. He read it and gave me a disapproving look... then cracked a smile. I couldn't hold it. I left the building laughing out loud. I had to wait in the car for an hour.
High School Chaos
My french teacher in high school was kind of a nightmare. One time she moved a kid away from a desk by his friend and to a desk right by her for a trivial reason. He got frustrated (she tended to pick on him a lot) and he yelled"Oh, come ON." And her brilliant come back was:
"Don't 'come on' me!!"
Cat Memes And Sick Babies
I was like 17 at a prayer meeting at mu church for a baby who had just been born with a heart defect. I remembered a cat meme I'd seen earlier that day and couldn't hold back the laughter.
My grandparents were talking about diabetes and pop pop kept saying diabeetus. He doesn't have an accent but when he said diabetes, it's like he's from the deep South. It was a depressing conversation but I couldn't stop from laughing. I felt so horrible especially after he succumbed to it a few years later
Considering Dropping The Class
My roommate in college had a bad situation with this. He was sitting in class and he was half paying attention. A kid in his class was doing a presentation and during it he said "And my sister is like, retarded".
Half paying attention, my roommate thought he was making a joke about his sister and calling her stupid. He laughed real hard out loud and was the only one to do it. The kid was telling the class about his mentally handicapped sister and I guess he didn't really know how to word it to the class.
The teacher gave a death stare toward my roommate and he shut his mouth.... but he couldn't stop laughing. He was uncontrollably letting out those sort of spit laughs that are forced through closed lips.
The kid stopped his presentation and forcibly asked my roommate to stop laughing. He was so embarrassed when he came back to the room that he was debating dropping the class and he had like a 4.0 3/4 of the way through.
There's no shortage of excellent horror fiction out there. Recently I read The Terror by Dan Simmons and can't remember the last time I felt that claustrophobic and nervous. But I am also a fan of quite a few classics. Are there any other horror books that capture grief as effectively as Stephen King's Pet Sematary? What other book evokes folk horror as beautifully as Thomas Tryon's Harvest Home? Let's not forget this wonderful classic: The Haunting of Hill House. I could rave about that one (and Shirley Jackson) for days. All of these books left their mark on me and yes, I'd include them on a list (if I were to make one) of some of the scariest books I've read.
People had their own opinions to share––and books to recommend––after Redditor Tylerisdumber asked the online community,
"What's the scariest book you've ever read?"
"Gerald's Game. I've read lots of Stephen King and this one scared me the most. Slept with the lights on for several nights."
Everything about this book is creepy. Don't even get me started on the... degloving. I'm sorry I even typed that word out.
"It's not a long story..."
"The Yellow Wallpaper.
It's not a long story and I'd highly recommend going in knowing little to nothing about it. It's brilliant and terrifying. Published in 1892 as well if that's any interest!"
Few stories make you feel this sad. A pretty stunning piece of work––and yes, unnerving. Can really get under your skin.
"I think it was mainly..."
"For some reason, Salem's Lot by Stephen King.
I think it was mainly because I was on a week-long hiking trip in the Australian bush and it got dark and scary at night. But damn, I had trouble sleeping for a couple of nights. Then the friend I was hiking with read it, and he couldn't sleep either."
This is probably my favorite early King––and for good reason. The sense of atmosphere is impeccable. Those characters are loveable and you genuinely care about what happens to them. Then the book veers from horror into tragedy. It's quite moving.
"Just the knowledge..."
"On The Beach.
It's the most soul-crushing book I've ever read, and there's really nothing scary in it.
Just the knowledge of impending death for everyone that feels so awfully heavy."
This is one of those books that makes you feel hopeless.
It's impeccably written but wow... it's a truly heavy read.
"You never knew..."
It's a classic. I found it to be immensely chilling. You never knew what would happen and the writing instilled a sort of dread. I read it in the dark before I went to bed until I finished it."
A book I can read and re-read over and over again. It's a beautiful horror novel. It's also a really fascinating window into the era and manages to say a lot about social and class mores.
"I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid. Very creepy and unnerving, definitely scared me reading it at night."
I wanted to really like this one––unfortunately, I did not––but there's no denying that the first third or so (especially once the two protagonists get to the house) is pretty unnerving. Shame the payoff wasn't all that.
"It was disturbing and horrifying..."
"Helter Skelter. It's about the Manson murders and goes into quite a bit of detail. It was disturbing and horrifying because, unlike the King novels also mentioned, it's true. What they did to Sharon Tate is so absolutely devastating. Pure evil."
This book is gruesome and not for the faint of heart. The level of detail we dive into learning about the Tate-LaBianca murders is remarkable and also rather nauseating.
"So the book's characters..."
"Bird Box by Josh Malerman.
Forget the Netflix movie. The book's monsters are terrifying, in that you simply just don't know what they are or what they look like. They could be anything. What they are is enough to drive people insane by just being looked at.
So, the book's characters have to navigate a world mostly without one of our most used senses, and what's more terrifying than something you can't see?
This leads to some utterly scary scenes in the book that sent my heart racing and I had to put down for a breather."
It's a shame that movie wasn't all that and a bag of potato chips.
"It's a different kind of scary..."
"It's a different kind of scary, but The Handmaid's Tale. Atwood's dystopian nation feels not that far from reality sometimes, and it absolutely terrifies me."
We're going to go there.
Yes, this book is terrifying.
"I feel like the movie..."
"The Ruins, by Scott Smith, messed me up pretty good. My favorite kind of horror is psychological, and while there is a physical "entity" the real horror is the helplessness of this stranded group trapped by something they don't understand. Their desperate struggle to hold on to their sanity and the slow descent into hopeless desperation just really hit hard.
I feel like the movie was a fairly faithful adaptation, although it's been a while since I've seen it."
I love this book and have read it multiple times over the years. It's slow-going... and then the final one-hundred pages are just horrifying.
Well, if you haven't read any of these... What are you waiting for? Get on that. You won't regret it.
But also... the world is pretty scary right now, so we understand if you need to take a step back.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
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Have you ever traveled to a city you've always heard good things about, only to be totally let down upon arrival?
When a friend insists we travel to certain cities because we would "just love it," they're setting the bar pretty high.
And a city can also boast a rich history or an attraction that makes us curious enough to find out what makes it so appealing.
But, alas, when we finally reach the destination, it's never exactly what we thought it would be.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor tshirtguy2000 asked:
"What city is overrated?"
These are not officially real cities but they do have a rotating population.
It's Always A Party There
"As a former
slave associate at party city. I 100% agree."
"Lego City. There always has to be someone falling into the river."
"Cabot Cove, the murder capital of the world."
"Sure, the murders are all solved, but would you really want to live in a city with that much, easily solved, crime?"
Neighbor To Springfield
Shelbyville. Those f'kers steal trees from neighboring cities.
These were once considered destination cities but their popularity eventually took a nose dive.
"Atlantic City. Venture a few blocks off the boardwalk and it's incredibly depressing. Very clearly an area exploited by the big casinos while the locals have been driven to absolute poverty, while they still force a smile to work the shops that are required for the tourist traffic."
Lots Of Water
"Niagara Falls, Canada. I grew up there. Mayor pumps most of tax $ to casinos and tourism with flashy vegas-esque attractions."
"Myrtle Beach. I'm not even saying that it has a good reputation, I'm just saying that any shred of positive thinking about it makes it overrated."
Where A Creek Is An Exciting Attraction
"Lamb's Grove, Iowa. It's not the paradise on earth that people always say it is. Don't get me wrong, it's got great Chinese food but the motel 6 is meh at best."
Impressions for these cities fell far below expectation.
"Dubai. It's the clickbait of the world. 'We have the biggest/tallest/most expensive YOU WON'T BELIEVE when you see THIS...' It's hot as f*k, everything's a man-made tourist trap; labor exploitation and racism are rampant, and they try so hard to prove to the world how modern and Westernized they are. Really, it's just government propaganda."
"Miami. Horrible place filled with horrible people."
Truth be told, many cities can be overrated.
It just depends on a person's experience, or a resident's perspective about what it is about the location they live in that is nothing worth writing home about.
If I had to choose, I would say Las Vegas is overrated, but that's because there is nothing in Sin City that is of personal interest to me.
I may be severely judged for my opinion, but that is a gamble I'm willing to take.
The opposite sex can be a bit of a mystery sometimes. Our brains work differently just like our bodies and this can lead to certain sensitive questions. Guys tend to be a little less open but today it's time for the ladies to ask away. Even wondered what they really think or feel about their body, yours? Today's the day to get the answers you didn't know you needed.
Redditor William84000 asked:
“Women of reddit, what question do you have of men that you'd really like an answer to?"
His question started an informative thread for women to ask men the questions they've been wondering and receive honest, real-life answers.
“How long does it take to recover if you've been hit in the balls?” Snowy-avocado
“Anywhere from 5 minutes to literally turning to dust like we were Thanos snapped.” secondhand_organsdust whirls GIFGiphy
“The Big Dumb Object...”
“I've always wanted to know: why do you like loud machinery so much? For older men it's mowers, leaf blowers and such. For younger men, it's modified cars and motorbikes. What's the deal with the loud machines?” marshmellow_bunnyx
“Power and tools. Tools are a thing that gets stuff done, and they are loud because they contain the
natural essence power of violent explosions and fire. Most men like powerful things, instead of powerful people.”
“In sci-fi, this is called 'The Big Dumb Object', and is pretty much a trademark of sci fi books written by men” Connect-Zebra7173
To shave or not to shave?
“Does body hair on a woman bother you that much?" reillydean28
“Leg/arm hair? Don't even notice. Armpit hair? Not my thing but not my choice/decision. Pubic hair? I'd prefer not, but it's not going to stop me from getting the job done." wHUT_fun
It’s a power and control thing...
“Why send a d*ck pic?" stavinlawrence
“I think for most men it's a power dynamic thing. Either it gets them off or it just makes them feel in control."
“Then I assume there's the added bonus of if she likes it she might send a nude back. But these losers have a greater chance of buying a "get bigger penis pills" that actually work before a girl appreciates an unsolicited nude." InertialEclipse
"Do you notice the little things?”
“Do you notice the little things about women like a new hair cut, when they wear makeup or a nice outfit?” xforeverlove22
“I can't speak for everyone but for me, nope. Not at all. My uncle had a moustache for like 20 years and one day decided to shave it off. I didn't notice it. I noticed there was a weird atmosphere around me like ‘come on, say something’, so I small talked with him.”
“A few hours later after he left they asked me if I seriously didn't notice that his moustache was gone. My answer was ‘What moustache?‘ And makeup would definitly fly over my head.” PleaseTakeThisName
Lets just not touch people without permission...
“What things have women done that make you uncomfortable?" charloget
“Had a few grab my junk at random. Even had a couple that just forced a kiss on me. I don't usually experience women trying to pick me up, but the few times I did was never great. It was either negging, overly sexually aggressive and always in a group." bahamabanana
On today's episode of sink of float...
“Do penis' float like a buoy? I heard they do but have never been able to verify it.” TheFantasticV
“I mean it's buoyant but it can't really do much besides lazily sorta half float there. Still amused the f**k out of my wife to learn.” secondhand_organsGiphy
Everyone just wants to be loved...
“What makes you feel loved?” linedizzy
“A compliment, a hug or a kiss we don't have to initiate.” Nuitari8
“Do guys care if women get cosmetic procedures done?” dookieconductor
“I don't necessarily care about the work itself, I'd be more concerned about understanding why she felt like she wanted to get it done and help her feel body positive for whatever work has been done or if she feels like she needs work.” -notjosh-
Math will kill a mood everytime...
“What does it feel like when you're having sex and you're trying not to 'get there'? Is it frustrating? What do you do/think about to keep it from happening?" uhohoreolas
“I sometimes do math like 333*3... But often I am fine with just controlling things to focus mostly on her pleasure instead of mine. Tho sometimes she is excited and ends up moving in unaccounted ways while I am a hair away and there is no stopping it. I definitely don't find it frustrating. It is still very enjoyable." Fkire
Some of these Q&A's were unexpected but now we know! This important thing here though is knowing it's ok to ask questions sometimes.
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Everyone's got their own favorite food.
What are two foods that actually taste great together......even though most people don't eat them that way?
Breakfast is the most wonderful meal of the day. As the wise Leslie Knope once said, "Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?" So mixing it up can feel blasphemous, but what if it's tasty?
Jam It On
"When I was growing up, it was standard procedure for us to put grape jelly on scrambled eggs. I did it when I went to college and everyone at the table stared at me. I still like it."
"That sounds gross af, but not too gross that I don't still want to try it. Haha"
Bringing People Together
"Peanut butter and maple syrup."
"My husband and I both grew up eating PB and syrup on our waffles. We took that as a sign it was meant to be."
"Peanut butter and syrup on waffles is one of the single best things I have ever had, also growing up with it"
Mustard?! Don't Let's Be Silly.
"Mustard with scrambled eggs. Actually I haven't had it in a while but from what I remember its really good"
"Mustard with eggs period"
Sauces and dips are critical to enjoying some foods. Mess with it too much and you risk ruining the delicacy. So that's why it's reassuring to see these people offering up their new spins on dip combinations.
Only For The Elegant Dining Experience
"Hummus and salsa mixed together with tortilla chips."
"Fancy bean dip."
Peanut Butter With Everything!
"Peanut butter and cheddar cheese (like the proper brick kind, not kraft cheese slices). When I was a kid I sometimes made myself pb and cheese sandwiches. They're very filling but delicious!"
"Toasted English muffin, butter, peanut butter, raspberry jam and marble cheddar on top. Lord have mercy on me."
"Add a litte hot sauce on the peanut butter."
Better Than Garlic Sauce?
"I already posted but I'm eating pizza with my friend right now and he likes his pizza with hummus."
"Hummus is good with so many things."
"So I make spaghetti noodles, but break up the raw noodles into smaller pieces. Once they're done I put in a an egg or two (mix it around) and let it cook. I swear it's not that bad. My Nonna always makes it for me when I go back to the Midwest to visit. It's good with parmesan cheese too."
And then there's these taste combinations. Mixtures so strange, you might just be willing to walk away from your phone or computer and try one now.
Sweet And Savory?
"Watermelon and feta cheese."
"With red onion and balsamic vinegar."
"Thats like the most basic summer thing in Greece, Balkans, Turkey together with some Uzo or Raki"
Who Lives In A Cheddar Under The Sea?
"Pineapple and cheddar."
"A guy at work introduced me to dipping a peanut butter and honey sandwich into chili. That was surprisingly great."
A Creative Spin On An Old Favorite
"Root beer float except with cherry Coke and chocolate ice cream. I was in middle school on a field trip, last in line at the cream shop, and ordered this after everyone else had done the standard root beer and vanilla. One of the cool girls who had never spoken my name before gave me this piercing look and asked if I would switch with her. I instinctively knew I would get zero benefit from this deal, so I said "Nope, ya gotta just remember it next time." That felt good."
Keep an open mind. Don't do this for every meal, sure, but always be ready to try something new.
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