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Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me and... everybody you can possibly think of. Why are we so timid do discuss this issue? It's really an American issue. The Europeans seem fine to openly share naughty details and run around naked in front of one another. But in America the topic is still taboo. That's why so many artists push so many boundaries with the topic, to spark discussion. And it's imperative that the discussion be fact-based. Too many schools are handing out information to students that will only cause more problems later. Abstinence is not the only answer and quite frankly, is unlikely. Time to spill facts.

Redditor u/bongzmcdongz was hoping we could all rationally discuss the actualities of the birds and bees by asking... People who had "Abstinence Only" sex education, what was the most outrageous or untrue thing you were told?

***The following material is sensitive but imperative. Those under 17 should have a parental chat!***

"Facts"

I myself attended Catholic school, and we never once discussed the carnal. In fact, when we inquired about Mary and her "Virgin" birth, we were immediately shut down with... because it's in the Bible. What else does one expect nuns to say? Now I did leave Catholic school after eighth grade, so I have no idea what they taught in high school, but it's probably safe to assume they mostly skim the actual facts. Maybe I'm wrong... let's see.

Something is Missing

x factor what GIF Giphy

I was given a diagram of the female anatomy in which the clitoris had been erased-- as in someone went into MS paint and whited it out on a line drawing of the exterior of the vulva. The urethra, vagina, labia, anus were labelled, and then at the top of the labia, it was whited out.

fraulien_buzz_kill

the what is a WHAT?!

That the actual vagina opening is as small as the tip of a pencil. I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16. I'm 19 now and learned more from crap-posts on the internet than I ever had in school.

moimoisauna

"I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16."

Believe it or not, that puts you well ahead of the game. You'd be amazed at the amount of grown men who don't know that! 🌸.

LasRua

SMDH!!

Actual quote from my 9th grade health class:

"If you have sex, chances are you won't get HIV. But, chances are you will."

ToadHeartbreak


Kissing is Gross

creep no GIF by Manny404 Giphy

Kissing gets you pregnant.

bigev13

Same except the nuns told us that French kissing in a bathing suit would get you pregnant. Also, they said you shouldn't go on a date to a restaurant that uses white tablecloths because that looks like sheets which would make your date think of bed and you'd end up having sex.

knittininthemitten

Ouch!

Girls and boys had to go to different rooms during sex-Ed. The girls were told that "abstinence is the best option because sex is painful." The boys weren't told that.

I understand that sex can be painful for some people, but pretending sex isn't a source of pleasure at all for women is flat out wrong and depressing.

gnome_rave

"Say What?"

See, now how in the world is any of that considered education? Would you teach addition without using numbers? It's sex people. It's a part of the everyday cycle of life. Some of those responses are truly shocking. I would have laughed out loud even at a young age. It all sounds made up. Oh wait most of that was. Shall we continue?

"Dress" for the occasion...

My girlfriend's sex Ed program in middle school included a wedding dress that they splattered with red paint.

countrymac96

I'm assuming it symbolizes the blood of first sex, which, if is before marriage, taints the pureness of the ritual and thus ruins everything. TLDR sex bad don't screw before ring. Idiots.

Sinister_Fish42

For the Girls

We were shown a video where a lady said she could tell if a girl was a virgin just by looking into her eyes. The implication was that premarital sex causes your spirit to die so that you become just a shell with nothing to offer.

Edit to add: I'm sure you can guess that she didn't say the same applied for the boys, as if teenage girls are the only ones to blame for anyone having premarital sex.

fireflyfly3

At Once?

Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers Giphy

Having sex with 1 person is like having sex with 100 people.

KleinP7

No Sharing!

The instructor gave all the boys in the class chewing gum and let them chew on it for a few minutes. Then she asked them if any of them wanted to share. Of course none did. Then she asked if they didn't want to share gum, why would they want to share sex partners?

This was in a co-ed class so all the girls in the class got to see too.

Diet_Coke

We Pray ALOT!!

golden girls blanche GIF by HULU Giphy

I was taught in school that self pleasure was also a sin. So as a young girl discovering her body, every time I masturbated, I'd cry because I thought I was going to hell.

I don't know how many times I prayed to God asking for forgiveness.

phillupontakos

No Hugs

My dad pointed to a teenage couple hugging when i was a kid and told me thats how you get pregnant.

Months later at the fair my aunt put my 5 yr old cousin on the back of my horse and told him to wrap his arms around my waist to hold on. My heart sank. Later that day I shamefully told my dad that my 5 yr old cousin got me pregnant.

bonny_bunny

In Dublin

So I'm Irish and Catholic.

Growing up in Dublin we had church sanctioned sex education, some of the highlights:

-All penises are the same size when erect (we were 14 and this was hilarious to us)

-Being gay is just a phase

-No method of birth control is reliable (including oral sex and body rubbing).

Khale77

Let's Talk

Opposite story: I went to a Catholic high school. My Health teacher was a progressive. So she closed the door and said "Listen, ok, sure, masturbation is a sin or whatever, but it's actually fine. You gotta, you know, clean out the pipes once in a while. Now if your friends ask you to go to the movies and your answer is 'Sorry, gotta stay home and masturbate' probably step it back a bit."

mekdot83

Used Up

Bubble Gum GIF by Quavo Giphy

This woman once compared a teenage girl who's had premarital sex as chewed up bubble gum. She then switched the comparison to a pair of worn out shoes. Crap you not.

the89delta

Moist Issues

I was convinced that saliva was involved in the baby-making process. Not that you'd kiss someone and then boom pregnant, but that someone's saliva over time would make their baby look like you. The more saliva, the stronger the resemblance.

Long story short I spit in my cousin's drinks for a solid 2 months because I wanted her baby (she was pregnant at the time) to look like me (who was 8)

ETA: this was about 25 years ago, and also I'm a woman! That's how absolutely terrible my sex education was.

Amaline4

Um... Next Question

The teacher said that you can only really love one sexual partner and that's why it's so important that your spouse be your first and only partner. One of my classmates raised her hand and said, "My mom died when I was a baby and my dad's been married to my stepmom for ten years. Does that mean he only loves one of them?"

The teacher just looked uncomfortable and moved on to how premarital sex causes depression.

Jazmadoodle

Oh Utah

This is probably pretty tame, but Sophomore year our teacher told us using multiple condoms at a time increases its effectiveness.

I then asked my mom the same thing, and her whole job is to teach safe sex to youth.

Spoiler alert: do not layer condoms. It sounds good in practice, but you're actually weakening the condoms and wasting them.

Utah's sex ed policy was/is crap.

JesterTheSheep

Wonder why...

lucy liu film GIF Giphy

Went to public school and had real sex ed but had a history teacher who told us that sex before marriage is a sin, because every time you have sex you get pregnant.

And if a kid is born outside of wedlock they are going to hell and we will also go to hell for damning the baby's soul before it's even born. She said condoms and any other birth control is an insult to God and a way for atheists to try and outsmart him. She didn't work there after that year. Wonder why...

Rickrickrickrickrick

What Works

Condoms don't always work so it's better to not use them.

If you ejaculate on a girl (yes, "on") she will get pregnant. Regardless of if you had sex or not.

Boys get so horny sometimes they can't control themselves. So girls, it's up to you to remove temptation for the boys.

Birth control pills disrupt a girl's hormones so badly she will become barren.

Oregonja

Pieces of Me

That every time I (a girl) had sex I was giving away a part of my soul. So each sex partner whittled away bits of my soul. If I had sex before marriage my God-given husband would only get a tiny scrap instead of a full half and thus wouldn't be able to love me as much as he would if I'd waited? Honestly it's pretty confusing. This was taught in my Christian private school.

freckledjezebel

I can't with any of that. It's really shameful. We can't send kids out into the world misinformed. It will only lead to people learning in ways that are even more worrisome. And most parents don't seem comfortable enough to chat about it. Loosen up people. The future of generations is at stake. I'm not saying don't practice abstinence but let's explore all of the options as well. Sex. Say it. Do it. Safely.

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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.

Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.

U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?

​Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.

Was it worth it?

peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy

He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.

Memoryduel

Scientific method:

> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'

> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended

> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended

> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended

Glez_fdezdavila_

Uhhh what was the intention here?

He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.

Kurtles12

​Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.

Boom theret.

At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."

So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.

Angusthedangus

I hope there was no overlap in the columns.

Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy

She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.

Fun-Acadia-8735

2 separate lists or just the 1?

OppositeYouth

Same list 2 columns lol.

Fun-Acadia-8735

Holy crap.

Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.

This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.

Roberted1982

​Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.

Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.

Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.

A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.

Theonering1

Every school had the cat girl.

cat dragging GIF Giphy

The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.

Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.

SendmePMsofyourBMs

Mood.

Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.

Iheartrevolution

I was exactly this kind of weird.

He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.

The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.

10per

I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man

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